Conflicting Feelings

If there were one historical figure (not including those mentioned in the Bible) that I could invite to speak at my church sometime, I might choose John Newton. Probably most Christians know that he was a slave trader turned cleric and abolitionist, and the author of “Amazing Grace.” I just came across another hymn that he wrote:

Conflicting Feelings

Strange and mysterious is my life.

What opposites I feel within!

A stable peace, a constant strife;

The rule of grace, the power of sin:

Too often I am captive led,

Yet daily triumph in my Head [Christ].

I prize the privilege of prayer,

But oh! what backwardness to pray!

Though on the Lord I cast my care,

I feel its burden every day;

I seek His will in all I do,

Yet find my own is working too.

I call the promises my own,

And prize them more than mines of gold;

Yet though their sweetness I have known,

They leave me unimpressed and cold

One hour upon the truth I feed,

The next I know not what I read.

I love the holy day of rest,

When Jesus meets His gathered saints;

Sweet day, of all the week the best!

For its return my spirit pants:

Yet often, through my unbelief,

It proves a day of guilt and grief.

While on my Savior I rely,

I know my foes shall lose their aim,

And therefore dare their power defy,

Assured of conquest through His name,

But soon my confidence is slain,

And all my fears return again.

Thus different powers within me strive,

And grace and sin by turns prevail;

I grieve, rejoice, decline, revive,

And victory hangs in doubtful scale:

But Jesus has His promise passed,

That grace shall overcome at last.

***

I think that sometimes we in the church, especially those who have been Christians for many years, may tend to give others the impression that we no longer struggle with sin. Some may be judgmental toward others whose sins are more public. Our sins may not be as evident, but we all still have them. Newton’s hymn illustrates how easily we slide into unbelief, no matter how much faith we may exercise at other times.

There are some hymns that I don’t like to sing, because they give the false impression that true Christians can overcome every doubt and sin in this life (for example “Since I’ve Learned to Trust Him More” by Francis Blackmer). On the other hand, I don’t want to give my sin more weight than it should have, because I know that all my sins—past, present, and future—were carried to the cross and forgiven by Jesus’ blood. Newton seems to strike the right balance between “This is my experience, but this is what is true of me in Christ.” Near the end of his life he said, “I remember two things very clearly: I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.”

The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans, “So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (6:11-12). But a chapter later he said, “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (7:18b-19). If even Paul had this struggle, can we be any better? We all need reminders that we are great sinners, but Christ is a great Savior.” We can proclaim along with Paul, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!” (8:1). His grace, mercy, and love will have the final word in our lives.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever” (Psalm 136:1).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan text and photo. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Believing Is Seeing

There is a line in the movie Polar Express that caught my attention this Christmas: “Seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing.” Of course, the movie is referring to all the things related to Santa, the North Pole, and the express train. However, the same might truthfully be said of faith in Jesus Christ, and it would not be perpetuating a myth. For those of us who have faith in the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, belief helps us to see and understand things that we likely wouldn’t otherwise. When Jesus was on earth, He spoke in symbolic parables. When His followers asked why, He told them,

“To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of God, but for others they are in parables, so that ‘seeing they may not see, and hearing they may not understand’” (Luke 8:10).

There were many people in His day who saw Him, watched Him heal people, and heard Him teach, and yet they never believed that He was the Messiah, the Savior who had been prophesied. At the end of His time on earth, Jesus said to “doubting” Thomas,

“Have you believed because you have seen Me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29).

The Apostle Paul wrote,

“For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?” (Rom. 10:13-14).

He doesn’t link belief with seeing proof, but with hearing truth proclaimed. But even then, it’s not that every question has irrefutable answers. Few people can point to logic and documented evidence that convinced them of the truth of Christianity, although such people do exist (Lee Strobel is one). Faith in God can sound like folly to those who don’t have it.

“For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God” (1 Cor. 1:21-24).

Faith itself is a gift from God— “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God” (Eph. 2:8). God’s action always precedes our response. He grants us faith, we come to believe, and we begin to see the truth of God’s revelation through creation, Scripture, and His people. Believing is seeing.

It may sound as though God predestines some people to never have faith in Him, but God will never turn away anyone who genuinely wants to know Him. He works in many varied ways to stir one’s curiosity and to bring them to the point of belief.

During the Christmas season, where Christianity and culture intersect, it’s quite possible that unbelievers may look at us and think we’re just as naive as little children who believe in Santa Claus. We can try to explain our faith to the best of our ability, but some people will never understand or believe, and that is to their own peril. There is coming a day when “every eye will see Him: (Rev. 1:7), and on that day it will be too late for those who insist that seeing is believing and who think they need concrete proof before they will accept Jesus as Savior and follow Him as Lord. I pray that many will turn to Him as that final day comes ever closer.

“I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6).

“And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12).

 

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Looking Ahead

During the season of Advent churches often focus on the themes of hope, peace, joy, and love. The angels proclaimed:

“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord… Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom He is pleased!” (Luke 2:10-11, 14).

We recognize that those are not merely emotional experiences, but are rooted in the truths of Scripture—initiated with the birth of Jesus and to be finally fulfilled at His Second Coming. However, even as we affirm that truth, probably many of us are wishing for the emotional side of hope, peace, joy, and love. Life in this world is hard, and the busyness of Christmas can be a reminder of how imperfect the world is. The past couple years have added new kinds of stresses to our family, work, school, and church lives. As much as we may want to return to the “good old days,” things are forever changed. We are mentally, physically, and emotionally worn out.

If we look back to the time of Jesus’ birth, things weren’t too rosy then either. The Roman occupation had all Israel on edge. In the midst of the narrative of Jesus’ birth and early life, after the wise men leave, we read:

“Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under… A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be comforted because they are no more” (Matt. 2:16, 18).

We don’t know how many people around Bethlehem had heard about the message of “good news of great joy,” but they were probably wondering how the death of dozens of children was part of this “good news.” A tyrannical leader looked more like proof of the lack of peace and joy and hope in the world. Even after Jesus’ death and resurrection, the disciples still didn’t fully understand His role in the world. They asked, “Lord, will You at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?” (Acts 1:6). They were still looking for a temporal conqueror as their source for hope and peace.

As we live in a culture that is becoming increasingly anti-Christian and uncomfortable, the temporal aspects of hope, joy, and peace are harder to grasp. I’ve often said that my hope is 99% located in eternity, because I don’t see much hope for things in this life. The same applies to peace and joy. I have no problem looking forward to the perfection of eternity. I just wish we didn’t have to go through all the difficulties of life in the meantime.

The Apostle Paul indicates that today’s hardships will make eternity even more glorious: “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” (2 Cor. 4:17). James also points to eternity as reason to endure now: “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him” (James 1:12).

The author of Hebrews reminds us, “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful” (Heb. 10:23). In the process of enduring and holding onto hope, we can look for the signs of God’s work in our lives—conforming us to the image of Christ; loving others with the love we’ve received from God; and using the gifts He has given us for His purposes of spreading the gospel and helping others to grow in their faith. When life and culture press us down, it’s not a “happy holiday” that we need, but reminders of God’s faithfulness to His promises. We don’t need to fake emotions we aren’t feeling; we need to hold fast to our hope in the eternity that we will enjoy with our heavenly Father and our brothers and sisters in Christ.

“And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience” (Rom. 8:23-25).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Where Are the Wise?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6).

Reading this passage recently, I was struck by the second phrase—do not lean on your own understanding. That runs counter to everything our culture teaches us. Throughout our school years we are taught that we need to develop our understanding and to live up to our potential, which often gets tied to IQ. Education and common sense seem paramount. In evangelical circles, we lean on those with seminary degrees as those seemingly most qualified to lead. Spiritual gifts of wisdom, discernment, and knowledge are elevated, even if we don’t have proof that the individuals are actually being led by the Holy Spirit and not their own natural abilities.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m all in favor of education. College degrees do have value, at least to teach people how to really study and learn. I’m not sure high school does that very well. (I certainly didn’t learn to study until I took Organic Chemistry!) It is good to be able to figure things out and find solutions to problems. However, it becomes an issue when we aren’t seeking God’s wisdom and direction. Even in Christian pursuits, we may be misled if we focus on what is most logical. A few examples come to mind:

• “We’ve always done it that way” is a common influence in church leadership, but does it hinder us from joining God in doing a new thing (Isaiah 43:19)?
• Working from home is convenient and economical, but can be detrimental to community and cooperative work. Would God have us focus more on relationships and less on productivity (Gal. 5:13)?
• Social media and the internet provide vast amounts of information from around the world, but does that knowledge always help us to love others better (Eph. 4:32)?

The Apostle Paul wrote,

“Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? …But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong” (1 Cor. 1:20, 27).

God specializes in using what appears weak and foolish in order to showcase His own power and excellence. “No wisdom, no understanding, no counsel can avail against the Lord” (Prov. 21:30). We are focused on our own stories, while He has an eternal plan for all creation. We have limited understanding, but God knows all the details that we don’t. We try to draw understanding from the bits and pieces we can see, and that often leads us astray.

“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor?” (Rom. 11:33-34). May we be quick to seek His wisdom and not rely on our own.

“For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity… Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul” (Prov. 2:6-10).

***

This video clip from Anderson Cooper was mentioned in a sermon that I heard, which illustrates our limited perspective.

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

He Leadeth Me

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of God’s calling on our lives and how He leads us. It seems to me that there may be a lot of misconceptions in the minds of Christians, due to lack of teaching or wrong teaching on the subject. (James 1:5-8 is often misused in this regard.) Perhaps you can identify with some of these misguided thoughts:

• If you pray about it, God will give you clear directions.
• Good Christians can always know what God intends for them to do.
• If you don’t know what to do, it’s your own lack of faith.
• When God closes a door, He opens a window.

Looking back over my own journey, I can get discouraged by thinking that I’ve made wrong decisions that God has to keep fixing. And if I fall into the comparison trap, it looks like the really “spiritual people” have no doubts about the road ahead. That’s why I found great encouragement in this quote from a sermon by T.J. Tims:

“If we’re bouncing around, and we often are, it’s only the bumpers of divine sovereignty, sort of directing our course, making our lives fruitful. And I know that when I say that, some of us, we feel as if we’ve gone irreparably off course in our lives. Like there was this better version of our life that could have been, and here we are settling for like the third or fourth or fifth or hundredth tier down of the life that we could have had. But it cannot be true, because down beneath our derailments—the unavoidable ones and the avoidable ones—are the everlasting arms of God, working out all things for our good and for His glory. God’s out ahead of us preparing the way… We discover our destiny like this—by choosing… a God-glorifying heading and then walking that way… What do you want to do, for His glory? Head that way. And then, expect derailments— [Ephesians 2:10, ‘God prepared good works] that we should walk in them.’ …You choose a heading that you know would be pleasing to God, and then you receive the derailments as the will of God. And along the way you find yourself stumbling into fruitfulness that you did not anticipate. That’s what it looks like to be led by God.”

He goes on to point to the Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 1:13 “I do not want you to be unaware, brothers, that I have often intended to come to you (but thus far have been prevented), in order that I may reap some harvest among you as well as among the rest of the Gentiles.” Paul literally went through shipwrecks, imprisonment, and beatings as he sought to follow God’s will. That would make anybody question whether they were on the right path.

Think about some of the other people in Scripture.

• Abraham went out, not knowing where he was going (Heb. 11:8).
• Joshua, after bragging to his brothers, ended up in a pit, slavery, and prison, before eventually being able to say “God meant it for good” (Gen. 50:20).
• Moses went from the palace to the wilderness before he was ready to lead the Israelites out of Egypt (Ex. 2:10, 15). When he did receive divine instruction in a burning bush, he tried to talk his way out of it (Ex. 3:11).
• After surviving a famine, Naomi lost her husband and sons. All she could think to do was go back to her home country, and Ruth decided to go with her. They had no idea God would use that decision to contribute to the lineage of the Messiah (Matt. 1:5).
• Jonah tried to run from God’s direct command and ended up in a fish (Jon. 1:17).
• John the Baptist seemed clear on his direction until he ended up in prison. Then he wondered if he’d been wrong all along (Matt. 11:3).

The vast majority of people in the Bible never heard a direct command from God telling them where to go and what to do. They simply went through their lives doing the next thing that was before them. And in ancient culture there just weren’t that many options. There were few career paths, and most people stayed in one community for life.

Today, we have so many options that we don’t even know how to choose. We think it would be nice if God handed each of us a manuscript and said “Here’s exactly what you’re supposed to do.” Then we could feel confident that we were on the right path. Instead, we are meant to just keep walking and making the best decisions we can with the information we have, and trust that God will derail our plans if He chooses to. It takes a lot more faith to live this way than it would to just follow an instruction book.

If I had planned the path to get to where I am now, I would have made it a much straighter road. The things I thought I was going to do didn’t pan out, and I had to choose the next step while walking in the dark. God used both positive and negative experiences to change my course (probably more of the negative ones). I never had any revelation that “Aha, that’s where God is taking me!” But looking back I can see how God used me in different ways in each of the many segments of the path. And God will use me in whatever direction my future path may go (though I’m not planning any changes at this point). He already knows our paths and is present with us at each step of the way, no matter how convoluted the road may seem (see Psalm 139).

“The Lord is my shepherd… He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me” (Ps. 23:1, 3-4a).

*** 

© 2022 Dawn Rutan text and image. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

In All Things

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:18).

We probably all agree that this verse is far easier said than done. It is counterintuitive and downright hard to practice every day in every circumstance. I was listening to a recent sermon from Immanuel Church in Nashville that mentioned this quote from C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of— throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself” (IV, 9).

We don’t much mind the repairs we knew we needed, but it’s hard to appreciate the other renovations. It’s particularly difficult when He tears down the little additions we’ve built ourselves. To use Jesus’ imagery from Matthew 7:24-27, we know we need to build our house on the rock, but then we may decide to add a shed hanging off one side, and a vacation cottage on the beach sand. When He comes in to rebuild, instead of being complimentary of our building efforts, He tears them all down. It would be one thing if this happened just once when we first commit our lives to Christ, but it becomes a lifelong renovation project of conforming us to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29).

The big question is, can we give thanks even for the things we don’t much like or understand? Sometimes that’s not too hard, when we remember that God is in control and we can trust His plan for our lives. But all too often we (or at least I) start second-guessing His plan and wondering how good it can be if we have to surrender the things that we think will make us happy. It’s also easier with some parts of life than with others. I can think of one arena of my life where the sacrifice of certain relationships, although painful at the time, was and is well worth the benefit of eternal life with Christ and His family. Now I can give thanks for that renovation, but thanksgiving has not always been my first choice.

When the rich young man came running up to Jesus to ask “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus pointed to the one thing the man was unwilling to give up—his riches. It is hard to let go of temporal things for the seeming uncertainty of “treasure in heaven” (Mark 10:21). It’s interesting that the passage immediately goes on to Peter’s statement, “See, we have left everything and followed you” (v. 28). In other words, “Jesus, is it really going to be worth it in the end?” Jesus reassures the disciples that it is worth it, not just for eternity but for this life as well, and He also points out that the greatest cost for many of us is relational, not material.*

If we truly trust His plan, then giving thanks in all circumstances does become a little easier, though still a test of faith in hard times.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever” (Psalm 136:1ff).

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*An observation for which I am indebted to Sam Allberry.

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Remember When

This week I am reading again John Piper’s short book, When the Darkness Will Not Lift. He makes the following comment:

“In fact the darkest experience for the child of God is when his faith sinks out of his own sight. Not out of God’s sight, but his. Yes, it is possible to be so overwhelmed with darkness that you do not know if you are a Christian—and yet still be one… We are not saved by producing faith on our own and then making that the basis of our new birth. It is the other way around, which means that God is at the bottom of my faith; and when it disappears for a season from my own view, God may yet be there sustaining its root in the new birth and protecting the seed from destruction.”

I’ve had times like that when—because I can’t see what God is doing—I question whether I’ve ever really had faith in Him or I’ve only had faith in my own abilities and insights. I look back over my life and wonder whether I was consciously following God’s direction or if He was dragging me places I didn’t want to go. In better times, I remember the ways God has used the twists and turns of my path to bring me to new places and ways to serve Him.

The enemy would have us forget every Divine providence, every nudge of the Spirit that has directed us, every sign of our faith at work. As Piper indicates, even saving faith is a gift of God. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph. 2:8-9). If we start to think we had anything to do with the origin of our faith, it’s only a short step to thinking we could therefore lose our faith. But what God has truly given cannot be removed: “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of My hand” (John 10:28).

The answer to doubt is to remember what God has done, starting with Scripture and continuing through the present day. How many times is the Exodus referred to in the Bible? It is frequently repeated (e.g. Psalm 66, 77, 78, 106), because we all need frequent reminders of God’s power and authority over all the earth. I may not see or understand how God is at work today, but that doesn’t negate the fact that He has made His presence known in many times and many ways since the beginning of creation.

“Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish My purpose’” (Isaiah 46:9-10).

I have a shelf full of journals in my bedroom that go back more than 20 years. Even without opening them, I remember some of the things that I wrote there, and I am reminded that God has been at work over those many years—changing me, freeing me from certain sins, helping me to endure hard times, and using me for His good purposes. On the radio today I heard some discussion of how many people would go back in time if they could. Even though there are things I wish I could change right now, I have no desire to go back to who I was 10 or 20 or 30 years ago, and I can only attribute that to the fact that God has been at work even when I couldn’t see it. That may not relieve the present darkness, but it does help me put it in perspective of God’s enduring love and grace.

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy” (Psalm 103:2).

***

Here’s a related article from ChurchLeaders.com that I found helpful.

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Image copyright free from pixabay.com, revised by Dawn Rutan. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Pruning Hurts

I have an umbrella plant that a coworker gave me 25 years ago. Actually, I think she allowed me to rescue it when she was about to discard it. I haven’t given it much attention over the years, and it was sprawling in all directions. So I finally cut off a few branches and then thought I’d see if I could get them to root and thereby multiply my plant. (The jury is still out on that part.) If my plant could talk, it would probably be saying, “What in the world are you doing? I’m perfectly happy the way I am!”

I’ve found that same sentiment in my own heart lately. We might think that so long as we’re growing in faith and knowledge then there’s no need for God to start pruning, but Jesus said,

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:1-2).

I note a few things in these verses. First, God prunes those branches that are “in Me,” in other words, Christians. He has no need to prune those who are not Christians, because they are incapable of bearing spiritual fruit to begin with. They may do some good works, or they may not. And He may send trials that will cause them to turn to Him and accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, but that’s not the same as pruning. God disciplines His children through pruning:

“It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons… For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:7-8, 11).

Second, even for Christians there are branches in our lives that do not bear fruit and need to be removed. These may be sinful habits, wrong priorities, or self-sufficient abilities and attitudes. Sometimes pruning is necessary to further conform us to the image of Christ (see Romans 8:28 and 12:2). The Apostle Paul wrote,

“For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Cor. 1:8b-9).

Third, it is God’s goal for us to bear more fruit over time. Although we may be bearing some fruit as we are, He knows exactly what needs to be removed from or added to our lives to make us more fruitful. I think this may be the hardest for us to comprehend. We look at our own lives (both as individuals and as local churches) and think we’re doing pretty well, but God sees the opportunity for something better.

A well-known Christian author wrote in one book that God doesn’t take away things that are good for our spiritual growth, but then he went on to contradict himself later in the book. In contrast, Paul David Tripp wrote in Suffering:

“I thought I knew what God was doing. Life and ministry were as good and as fruitful as they’d ever been… Why would God ever mess with something that worked to give him glory and convinced people to live in rest and submission to him? Why would he not do anything he could to keep me strong, active, and speaking for him? … He’s after the ultimate good for his creation, and for us who bear his image, he’s moving creation to the moment when he will finally make all things new” (174, 177).

The fact is that God often takes away something good in order to create something better. He takes us off of familiar paths in order to make us depend on Him more. He may allow suffering in order to make us see our weakness and His strength. He prunes branches that are bearing fruit so that they can bear more fruit. Pruning can multiply our fruitfulness. However, we may not always receive the “something better” if we fail to seek God’s will during times of pruning. We may be inclined to make unwise decisions just to feel like we’re moving forward.

May we all learn to trust His plan, seek His will, and abide in His love in times of pruning.

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Surrender

I wrote some additional verses to the hymn “All to Jesus I Surrender,” inspired by the following quote from Carolyn Weber in Holy Is the Day:

“I pray for something I have never actually tried before for before: I ask with all I am that my embittering desires be lifted from me. I kneel in the grass and ask God to remove everything that is not a desire first and foremost for him… God must be the Alpha and Omega of my desire if I am to truly live, or else my desires will consume me and I will die not only the Great Death, but countless little deaths landing like stinging nettles on exposed skin, every hour of every day… I desired that in longing for God first, and entrusting all my other longings to him, I would be fulfilled by an abundance far greater than I could ever imagine.”

***

All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give my fears to Thee.
Thou alone my loving Shepherd
through this valley gently lead.

Chorus:
I surrender all,
I surrender all,
All to Thee my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,
in my weakness, Lord, I fall,
trusting Thou art fully sovereign,
on Thy mercy, Lord, I call.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Thou art Lord of heav’n and earth.
Lead Thy people by Thy Spirit,
Thou, the Head of this Thy church.

All to Jesus I surrender,
lead us in Thy will and plan.
Take us into Thy good future,
lead us by Thy righteous hand.

***

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of [His] heart” (Psalm 37:4).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Needs of the One

There are two scenes from Star Trek that have come to mind frequently in recent weeks. At the end of “The Wrath of Khan,” when Spock is about to die because of his efforts to save the ship, comes the following dialogue:

Spock: Don't grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh... 
Kirk: ...the needs of the few.
Spock: Or the one. I have been and always shall be your friend.

Then at the end of “The Search for Spock” is this interaction:

Spock: My father says that you have been my friend. You came back for me.
Kirk: You would have done the same for me.
Spock: Why would you do this?
Kirk: Because the needs of the one... outweigh the needs of the many.

If I’m honest, I often think that the first scene reflects God’s attitude toward mankind— “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.” When difficulties arise in life, it’s tempting to think that God has bigger concerns than the wellbeing of one person, that He’s weighed us in a balance and the “best result for the most people” will always outweigh the few who are hurt in the process. I suppose that reflects Western business principles.

It’s complicated by the fact that God is focused on eternal priorities—salvation and sanctification—when we are often craving temporary comforts. It is also difficult to understand when God doesn’t reveal all His plans ahead of time and He rarely answers the question “Why?” However, Scripture tells us:

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows” (Luke 12:6-7).

“Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You hem me in behind and before, and lay Your hand upon me… Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” (Psalm 139:4-5, 16).

“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:17-18).

Somehow, in God’s economy, His care for individuals is intricately woven into His care for His Church as a whole, along with His care for humanity in general. One way that gets worked out is that God uses suffering to strengthen and purify each of us. James wrote,

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:2-4).

Peter put it this way,

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:6-7).

I suspect that if given a choice, most of us would prefer satisfaction over sanctification, comfort over completion, ephemeral peace over eternal perfection. Paul Tripp wrote in Suffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn’t Make Sense,

“Here is suffering’s paradox: the very thing we would do anything to avoid, the very things that confront our understanding of who we are, and the very things that cause us the most pain become the very things that usher into our lives the blessings of the help, hope, peace, and rest that we all long to experience” (162).

“So your suffering isn’t purposeless, impersonal pain that robs you of what’s good. It’s a tool picked up by a Savior of wisdom, love, and grace to produce wonderful things in and through you that you could never produce on your own” (185).

We need a change of perspective (and I’m preaching to myself here!). We need constant reminders that God is good, that He cares, and that He is in control. May God give us the faith to endure and to trust that His good purposes will prevail even when we can’t begin to fathom what He is doing here and now.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers… [Nothing] in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:28-29, 39).

***

The end of today’s prayer from Valley of Vision is relevant to this subject:

Give me unwavering faith
  that supplications are never in vain,
  that if I seem not to obtain my petitions
    I shall have larger, richer answers,
    surpassing all that I ask or think.
Unsought, thou hast given me
  the greatest gift, the person of thy Son,
  and in him thou wilt give me all I need.

***

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Image copyright free from pixabay.com and revised by Dawn Rutan. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

In the Storm

Have you ever thought about the storms in Scripture? There are quite a few of them. The first and biggest was the flood in the days of Noah (Genesis 6-8). Noah had the privilege of hearing God’s direct commands to build the ark and take in the animals. But after the door was shut, it seems that God was silent for about a year. I imagine Noah and his family were wondering if the earth would ever reappear or if God had forgotten them. Eventually God did dry up the land and call Noah out of the ark.

Another familiar storm was the result of Jonah’s disobedience and fleeing from his call to Nineveh. The others in the ship somehow knew that this storm had a purpose behind it, and they cast lots to find out whose fault it was. Jonah was apparently ready to die in the sea, but God rescued him with a great fish. It’s not clear whether Jonah actually learned his lesson or not. He did what God commanded, but grumbled about it to the end.

In the Gospels there are a couple storms mentioned. In the first, the disciples were headed across the lake while Jesus was asleep in the boat. A storm arose that frightened even the experienced fishermen among them. They woke Jesus, who stilled the storm and then asked them, “Where is your faith?” Their response was to marvel, “Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him?” (Luke 8:25).

Later on, Jesus sent the disciples into the boat alone while He took time to pray. When He came walking on the sea, they were terrified, “but immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid” (Matt. 14:27). Peter was bold enough to get out of the boat, but began to sink when he took his eyes off Jesus. This storm ended with the disciples worshiping Jesus, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God” (v. 33).

One other prominent storm occurred with the Apostle Paul in Acts 27. The crew of the ship made an ill-advised decision to leave port and ended up in a major storm that lasted at least two weeks. Under divine guidance, Paul urged them to stay with the ship and to eat when they could. They finally ran aground and managed to make it to shore on the debris of the ship with all lives saved.

From just these few examples, we see that the storms of life may be a result of individual sin (Jonah), the sin of the multitudes (Noah), bad decisions (Acts), to reveal the Savior (the disciples), or for other unknown reasons. In Finding Jesus in the Storm, John Swinton writes “Retrospective spiritual direction allows people to see where God was in the midst of the storms and to help them use that knowledge as an encouragement and source of hope now and for the future” (p. 214). While I agree with that in principle, I know that it’s easier to see how God was at work after the fact than it is during the storm. When you’re focused on survival, it can be hard to remember God’s faithfulness. When you’re busy bailing water, you don’t always remember the blessings of nets full of fish (John 21:6-7) or deliverance from danger (2 Cor. 11:25-30).

Like David we may be saying, “Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me” (Psalm 69:1-2). Whether the storm is physical, mental, emotional, or relational, there is a spiritual aspect to it. Storms test our faith and our understanding of who God is and how He will act. C.S. Lewis wrote, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be” (Letter to Father Peter Bide 4/19/59, Collected Letters Vol. 3).

When we struggle to remember God’s presence and we doubt His care, we need others who can remind us of the truth—not just quoting Scripture at us or speculating as to what God is up to, but walking with us through the storm, embodying God’s love and grace, and praying for God to sustain us in the darkest of nights. We need more people like that in our churches.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you” (Isaiah 43:2).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Seen and Unseen

In all the hype and talk about social media—its dangers and delights—it occurred to me recently that there’s a benefit that perhaps gets overlooked at times. Seeing likes or comments on your post gives the sense of being seen by others. It doesn’t really matter what the post is about—it’s an affirmation that we do exist and are not invisible. That may seem like an inconsequential thing, but consider the fact that through the pandemic there were untold numbers of people living in complete isolation and skyrocketing statistics on depression and anxiety. And isolation still lingers for many people.

I started thinking about the people who show up on my Facebook feed regularly (recognizing that algorithms control that in ways I can’t comprehend), and a large percentage of them are women who never married or are single again. In this podcast transcript from The Gospel Coalition, the comment was made that women use social media to connect with friends and family more so than men do. For those who live alone, social media is a small point of contact to say, “I’m still here and I hope you see me.” And for those who are not working outside the home, through retirement or other reasons, there can be a real deficiency in human contact most days of the week.

Scripture has a variety of references to being seen. One is in Genesis 16 when Hagar fled from Sarai into the wilderness. God speaks to her and her response is, “You are the God who sees me… I have now seen the One who sees me” (16:13 NIV). Another time, when Israel is suffering in bondage in Egypt, we’re told, “God saw the people of Israel—and God knew” (Ex. 2:25).

Jesus was also keen to see and reach out to people who were suffering and who lacked connection in the community.

• Matthew 9:20-22 – “And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His garment… Jesus turned, and seeing her He said, ‘Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.”
• Luke 7:12-15 – “As He drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother… And when the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her… And He said, ‘Young man, I say to you, arise.’ And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother.”
• Luke 13:11-12 – “And behold, there was a woman who had had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, He called her over and said to her, ‘Woman, you are freed from your disability.’”
• John 5:5-6 – At the pool of Bethesda, “One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be healed?’”

Sometimes the church is not so good at seeing the suffering and lonely individuals in our midst. In many churches, the only time we acknowledge sorrow is at funerals. Our worship services rarely include songs of lament, and prayer times often only include physical needs. In his book Finding Jesus in the Storm: The Spiritual Lives of Christians with Mental Health Challenges, John Swinton writes:

“If our liturgical practices do not take onboard the full breadth of human experiences, our formation will be incomplete… ‘We don’t name, we don’t lift up mental illness in our litany of concerns, so people feel invisible.’ The suggestion that some people may become invisible in worship is deeply troubling. If… some among us ‘disappear’ because of the shape of our worship practices, then all of us are failing in our task to honor God and to love our neighbor” (208-209).

Whether it’s in our church services or in daily life, to be the Body of Christ we need to follow Jesus' example of truly seeing those around us and making sure they don’t fall through the cracks and disappear.

“If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Cor. 12:26).

***

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Do You Know?

Do you know
Christians suffer,
sorrow remains,
Satan attacks,
sin makes us stumble?

Do you know
life hurts,
joy wanes,
hope hides,
pain silences praise?

Do you know
unanswered questions,
unrealized desires,
unspoken needs,
the high stakes of suffering?

Do you know
the doubt,
the aloneness,
the discomfort,
of life torn apart?

Do you know
grace is not
always rescue,
but power
to keep enduring?

Do you know
it takes courage
to gather
with joyful saints
and overcomers?

Do you know
we need
sacred spaces,
scars seen,
lament welcomed?

Do you know
sorrow comes
before joy,
we ache for the
coming kingdom?

Do you know
salvation comes
from God,
not self-sufficiency
and striving?

Do you know
Jesus willingly
accepted suffering,
the Spirit
groans on our behalf?

Do you know
you are never
too broken,
too needy
for Christ’s kingdom?

Do you know
we are
formed by affliction,
shaped by suffering,
conformed to the image of Christ?

Do you know
we are
canvases of
God’s art,
reflecting our Savior?

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed” (1 Pet. 4:12-13).

***

Inspired by thoughts from chapter 9 of This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers, by K. J. Ramsey: “We will have suffering in this world, and as we courageously endure it, the whole church will better know the sustaining power and presence of Christ.”

© 2022 Dawn Rutan text and image. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Out of the Depths

As I write this, I’m in an emotional pit created by a combination of sleepless nights, chronic depression, seasonal depression, and situational depression. In the midst of this, I started reading Embodied Hope: A Theological Meditation on Pain and Suffering, by Kelly Kapic. Although he writes from the perspective of those dealing with physical suffering, much of what he says can be applied to almost any situation. From the back cover, “Too often the Christian attitude toward suffering is characterized by a detached academic appeal to God’s sovereignty, as if suffering were a game or a math problem.” I would describe the book as an appeal to Christians to comfort those who mourn, not with theological treatises or vague platitudes, but by coming alongside the sufferer and entering into their pain. Following are some quotes:

“Even if we had in hand a theodicy [theology reconciling God’s goodness and our pain] that made sense, such dispassionate philosophical explanations leave us empty when we walk in the fire and ashes of genuine suffering. While there is a time to carefully dissect these philosophical problems, that time is not normally with those who are suffering” (ch. 2).

“Claims to provide the reason for a specific experience of suffering abound: divine discipline, for the purpose of church renewal, to bring a watching nurse or neighbor to salvation, or to foster personal humility. Unfortunately, all these claims are made without the true knowledge of exactly why something is happening. Even if these suggestions contain an element of truth, we are not in a position to unpack the mind of God regarding such mysteries… Such explanations assume that some good outcome can nullify or justify the pain, but this is not so. A tragedy is still a tragedy; pain is still pain, even if some insight is gained in the process” (ch. 2).

“Each person is coming from a different circumstance, with specific challenges and needs, with individual strengths and temptations. Part of loving well is figuring out what response is needed and appropriate in a given circumstance (see Jude 22-23). This is where theological instincts and pastoral wisdom come together. To be pastoral does not mean earning money for working in a church… Pastoral in this sense refers to the ability to give wise counsel, to know how to love well, provide necessary guidance, and in the end to help a fellow believer flourish under God’s grace and love” (ch. 2).

Even as our hearts can be prone to question, filled with dread and doubt, let us take confidence that our God personally understands us, not hypothetically but concretely in Christ. Jesus wept tears, for in and through his incarnate life he had fully entered into the drama of fallen human experience. His ache and struggle give new meaning to our tears and suffering: God cares about our sin and distress so much that he enters into it himself” (ch. 7).

“Living within this story means that we strengthen our weakened sisters and brothers by drawing them to and reminding them of the word, presence, and action of the triune God, becoming avenues of God’s grace and mercy… The Christian life requires not an individual but a people—the people of God. Only together can we believe, hope, and love amid our struggles” (ch. 9).

“Amid such difficult seasons of life, [Martin] Luther understood that the fog of doubt often obscures the believer’s vision: accordingly, the taunts of hell often grow louder during those periods. He recognized this because he lived it himself… He wrote, ‘I almost lost Christ in the waves and blasts of despair and blasphemy against God, but God was moved by the prayers of saints and began to take pity on me and rescued my soul from the lowest hell.’ Luther knew that in times of physical and emotional distress saints often struggle to believe and are afflicted with confused images of God and his work in the world. During such seasons the Christian leans heavily on the faith and prayers of other saints, for by them one is sustained or even ‘rescued’” (ch. 9).

“[Martin Lloyd-Jones and others] counseled their followers to preach to themselves and embrace the good news of Jesus and his kingdom. Still, the weakness of this prescription, taken by itself, is that it is overly individualistic, ignoring our nature as members of a larger body, and thus also inherently unstable when isolated. Lloyd-Jones’s assertion that ‘the main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself’ ignores the problem that we don’t always know how to handle ourselves, nor can we be trusted to handle ourselves. We need others” (ch. 10).

“Each case has its own distinct shape and needs its own response. But each of them brings its own real trauma. Each person will deal with it differently: some in silence, some in outbursts of rage, some with an athletic commitment to beat the grief, some with a sense of shame, and still others trying to discover a stoic detachment. What those who are trying to help do not always appreciate is that there is real power in simply walking with another person through that particular experience, bearing witness to the real challenges” (ch. 11).

“Witnessing one another’s pain also offers us the ability to find rest… When a friend shares my outrage I am actually quieted; I am allowed to rest, for someone else has taken up the concern. But if their response is ‘That is no big deal,’ and I am sure it actually is a big deal, then my irritation and frustrations grow rather than diminish. What I need is not for someone to tell me everything is okay; I need them to acknowledge that something is wrong—that I am not insane, but a real problem is at hand… The witness doesn’t actually make the pain go away, doesn’t actually fix everything, but I no longer feel isolated” (ch. 11).

“Christians with similar pains may have good things to say to their fellow sufferers. However, often what ends up happening is one person’s suffering trumps another’s, undermining the loss instead of offering true comfort… Why did such well-meaning offerings trigger in me a nasty train of thought? They were only trying to help… What I discovered was that suffering isn’t a contest, and comparing can often leave one person feeling guilty and the other bitter… However, even in our very similar circumstances, we must carry our sufferings to Christ” (ch. 11).

***

At various times I’ve experienced people theologizing, minimizing, avoiding, or giving the “Everything’s gonna be alright” speech. Those are the people I generally want to avoid. I’ve also experienced those who pray for me, ask genuine questions about my wellbeing, and quietly point to God’s loving care even while I express my doubts and fears. They may not be able to fully enter into the valley with me, but they aren’t just shouting at me from the mountaintop. As Kapic concludes chapter 10:

“May we, as the people of God, care for one another in love. May we truly be the body of Christ. May we confess our sins to one another, offering honesty, grace, and transformed lives. Let us love one another in grace and truth. We are sinners. We are under the cross. Here is our hope. May it be so.”

***

Listen to I Will Wait for You (Psalm 130) by Keith and Kristyn Getty.

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Book cover courtesy of Amazon.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Amateurs!

According to Dictionary.com, amateur originates from the Latin word for lover and means:

1. a person who engages in a study, sport, or other activity for pleasure rather than for financial benefit or professional reasons.
2. an athlete who has never competed for payment or for a monetary prize.
3. a person inexperienced or unskilled in a particular activity.
4. a person who admires something; devotee; fan.

In Luke 7:36-50, Jesus was invited to the home of a Pharisee for dinner. The Pharisees were the religious “professionals,” who worked hard to keep all the commandments and added more commandments just to be on the safe side. During the meal a woman who was known to be a sinner (often assumed to be a prostitute, but the Bible doesn’t say that) comes and washes Jesus’ feet with her tears and wipes them with her hair. Jesus uses her example to point out, “her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little” (v. 47). This woman, who was considered a religious amateur because of her lack of obedience to the law, was held up as an example to the professionals because of her love.

Growing up in churches of various denominations (because we moved frequently), I got the impression that Christianity was about obeying the laws of the Old Testament, especially the Ten Commandments. I knew from a young age that I was a sinner in need of repentance. I don’t remember ever hearing a clear presentation of the Gospel message—that we can never perfectly obey God’s standards and that is why Jesus came to die for us, so that by believing in Him we could be made right with God and considered holy in God’s eyes. Up until college, as far as I knew it was all up to me to be as good as I could and to confess my sins and hope that God would let me off the hook one more time.

I worked hard to be a professional Christian, not knowing that Jesus Christ is more interested in amateurs—those who know they can’t live up to the perfect standard but follow Him out of love. Even years later I find myself thinking “I should be better than this by now.” To paraphrase Brennan Manning’s words, “God expects more failure from you than you expect from yourself.”

In 1 John 4:19 we learn that “We love because He first loved us.” Working backward in that chapter, His love casts out fear of punishment (v. 18), we can have confidence before God (v. 17), we abide with Him daily (v. 16), and we love others with the same kind of love (vv. 7-12). When Jesus was asked to name the greatest commandment, He responded, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 22:37-40). Christian faith is not about trying harder to be perfect, but about loving the One who first loved us and letting His love flow in and through us.

There is no call for religious professionals in the Kingdom of God. We are all called to be amateurs—for the love of God. The Apostle Paul threw away his religious credentials “because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Phil. 3:8). Religiosity will tend to make us (like the Pharisees) think of ourselves more highly than we ought. But remembering that we are only saved because of God’s grace should make us grateful recipients and loving followers.

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that One has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised” (2 Cor. 5:14-15).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Strong and Weak

There’s a poem from Dietrich Bonhoeffer that I often remember, “Who Am I?” (You can read the whole poem here.) The gist of it is the question of whether he is the confident public persona he projects or the “contemptible woebegone weakling” that he experiences internally, or both at the same time. That’s probably a question we all face at times. (At least, I hope I’m not the only one!) We can be pretty good at portraying confidence and competence in certain areas of life while simultaneously feeling like idiots for our failures and weakness in other areas.

I’ve probably written before that pride and shame are two sides of the same coin. We all crave approval and affirmation, and we generally try to hide anything that makes us look bad. But then we read the words of the Apostle Paul in his letters to the Corinthian believers. He talks about boasting in the wrong things (2 Cor. 10:12-18), God using the weak and foolish to shame the wise (1 Cor. 1:26-31), and he concludes, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9b).

Throughout his letters, Paul refers to the strength that comes from God. He uses multiple Greek words that are sometimes translated establish or commit or empower, depending on what Bible translation you prefer. Here are just a few of his statements (Strong’s numbers noted):

• “[I pray] that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened [2901] with power through His Spirit in your inner being” (Eph. 3:16).
• “Finally, be strong [1743] in the Lord and in the strength [2904] of His might” (Eph. 6:10).
• “I can do all things through Him who strengthens [1743] me” (Phil. 4:13).
• “Being strengthened [1412] with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy” (Col. 1:11).
• “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established [950] in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (Col. 2:6-7).

Bonhoeffer makes the comment in a letter to Eberhard Bethge of July 16, 1944,

“Matt. 8:17 makes it quite clear that Christ helps us not by virtue of his omnipotence but rather by virtue of his weakness and suffering! This is the crucial distinction between Christianity and all religions… The Bible directs people toward the powerlessness and the suffering of God; only the suffering God can help.”

Our existence, our salvation, our sanctification, and our service are not by our own strength and abilities, but because of Christ alone. We can boast in our weakness because that is where His strength is revealed (2 Cor. 12:9a).

For me personally, it’s okay that I’m an accountant who’s bad at mental math. It’s okay that social interactions create anxiety and exhaustion. Sleepless nights should be a reminder that I’m not the one in control—God is (though that still doesn’t help me to sleep better). I’ve had a lot of reminders of my weakness lately and I, like many of us, need to remember God’s strength and sufficiency.

“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word” (2 Thess. 2:16-17).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Fully Present

In one of his letters from prison (1944), Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote to his friend Eberhard Bethge:

“You must be especially homesick… But isn’t it an essential part of human maturity, as opposed to immaturity, that your center of gravity is always wherever you happen to be at the moment, and that even longing for the fulfillment of your wishes can’t pull you off balance, away from being your complete self, wherever you are? In youth we are never entirely present, no matter where; that’s part of the essential nature of youth; otherwise they would be dullards. A [mature] man is always a whole person and wholly present, holding back nothing. He may have his longings but somehow masters them and keeps them out of sight, and the more he must overcome in order to live fully in the present, the more he will keep his own counsel and have, fundamentally, the trust of the people around him, especially younger ones who are still on the road that he has already traveled. Wishes, when we cling to them too tightly, can easily rob us of what we ought to be and can be.”

Reading that, my first thought was that he obviously didn’t live in the 21st century. It seems like everything in our world today works against us being fully present in any moment or place. Social media, and media in general, pull our attention in a million different directions. Just having a smartphone in hand distracts us from conversation. Each ding of a text or email coming in pulls your mind away from the person sitting in front of you or the task that you’re supposed to be completing. In one of the TGC Social Sanity Book Club videos, the comment was made that scrolling through Facebook you’re likely to move from one person’s emergency prayer request to another person’s praise for a new job, and you don’t have the time or mental energy to assimilate all the varying thoughts and emotions related to any of it.

We can’t live well in such a disintegrating environment. In Bonhoeffer’s words, we are no longer whole or mature people, but immature and fragmented. We no longer master our longings, but we are mastered by the programming of technology’s algorithms. Our culture is discipling us and our children. Are we alert to how we are being indoctrinated?

As much as we like the convenience and entertainment of our various devices, they are often detrimental to our real presence to the people right around us. We hit the Send button rather than talking to someone face to face. We feign omnipresence by trying to respond to friends around the world while only half-listening to the person in the same room.

I admit I love certain features of my phone. I love having quick access to books, Bible translations, and email or texts without waiting for my laptop to boot. But I have mixed feelings about the games and social media apps that entice me to waste time on things that have little or no value. And even email and text messaging are frustrating when I find that other people don’t prioritize them in the same way I do—some people demand an immediate answer that I’m not prepared to give, while others don’t respond to my questions for days at a time. It’s hard not to judge people badly for their different expectations and habits.

There are days when I’d love to go back in time to before the invention of the telephone, automobile, and railroad—when most people stayed in the same community for their whole lives and communication either happened in person or took several weeks for letters to travel. As I noted in a previous post, the “ministry of presence” has declined in frequency, but not in value. Whether we know it or not, we need one another in a real and physical way. Most of the “one anothers” can’t be done from a distance, and we need to stop imagining that they can. Let’s slow things down and be fully present with the people closest to us.

“‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor” (1 Cor. 10:23-24).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Do You Smell That?

In modern culture, intolerance is seen as the one forbidden sin, and tolerance has been redefined to mean acceptance and approval of any and every lifestyle except for biblical Christianity. The church has sometimes capitulated to this “doctrine.” The seeker sensitive movement was one way that churches tried to open their doors to entice in the wider culture, but often this led to a neglect of the truth that every person is a sinner in need of a Savior. I read two passages this morning that speak to these issues. The first comes from the Apostle Paul:

“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life” (2 Cor. 2:14-16a).

Paul is clear that the church is never going to attract everyone. Those who are predestined for salvation (Rom. 8:29-30) will find a pleasing aroma that draws them to life. But for the rest, it will be as repugnant as a rotting deer beside the road. The gospel is good news for those who will accept it and find salvation in Jesus Christ, but it is bad news for everyone else.

The church was never intended to accept or approve of sin for the sake of drawing people in. That doesn’t mean we should confront an individual’s sin the instant they set foot in the door, but it does mean we can’t let them remain in sin, believing it doesn’t really matter. As Paul wrote to the Colossians, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (3:5). The gospel is meant to bring death to the flesh, but life to the Spirit (Rom. 8:10).

The second passage I read is from Jesus’ words to the church in Thyatira:

“I know your works, your love and faith and service and patient endurance, and that your latter works exceed the first. But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing My servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols” (Rev. 2:19-20).

This sounds all too familiar today as we see yet another denomination fracturing over the endorsement by some leaders of sinful lifestyles. There are false prophets who have brought sin right into the church. To the world they may appear loving and faithful, but in God’s judgment they are spreading the stench of death. Jesus went on to announce His judgment against Jezebel and all who refused to repent of her teachings (vv. 21-23). This is no lighthearted tolerance of a different lifestyle. It’s a matter of eternal life or death.

The question for us is this—is the aroma we are spreading one that is pleasing to God or one that is pleasing to the world? If we please the world we are in danger of God’s judgment, but if we are pleasing to God we will condemned by the world’s standards. In the end, there is only one Judge whose opinion matters.

“Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful. But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court… It is the Lord who judges me” (1 Cor. 4:2-4).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Mental Health and the Church

I recently Not Quite Fine: Mental Health, Faith, and Showing Up for One Another, by Carlene Hill Byron, and following are several quotes worth considering:

22- Our conversation in the United states today suggests that we are living through a growing mental health crisis. But what if the crisis is less about our health and more about how we think about it? What if we’ve so dramatically changed our expectations about mental health that most of us can’t meet the new norm?

26- We understand that to be “mentally ill” is to vary from some standard of mental health. Easy enough. But what is an appropriate standard of mental health? …Ordinary is always whatever is expected or allowable in a given time or place. That means that changing cultural norms can redefine what was once normal as mental illness.

54- People with mental health problems seek help among the faithful for several reasons:

We hope someone can convince us that our suffering has meaning.

We want assurance that our difficult lives have purpose.

We want to experience ourselves as persons who have value—persons who have been assigned an importance that often feels intangible by a God we cannot see, and who desperately crave recognition as valued individuals within the physically present body of Christ.

We are looking for a place where we can belong, even when our mental health problems make us prickly and painful to be with.

We are, with all the faithful, looking for “confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).

89- Mental health problems also tend to isolate people. Many of us, including those with mental health diagnoses, are more likely to draw inward than reach out in our most difficult moments. Stanley Hauerwas writes, “The dangerous thing about mental illness is how it tempts those so afflicted to think they are completely on their own, isolated in their distress.” But we are also likely to be, in fact, more alone than many others.

98- People who can suffer silently and invisibly are welcome in any congregation… We’re even more happy to honor pain once it has been healed. Those of us whose long-lasting suffering limits our lives often have a different experience, in church as elsewhere. This is unfortunate, because when the body behaves as it is designed and called to function, our mental health problems can diminish to some degree. When people feel loved, cared for, and safe, our mental health symptoms may become less challenging. Sometimes the symptoms diminish. Sometimes they are just less overwhelming when we live in a warm community of people who care.

99- When we select as “high potential” members only those who could help quickly multiply the congregation, we risk filling the community with what pediatric epidemiologist W. Thomas Boyce describes as “dandelions”—the kind of people who, like the bright summer flower, do all right under almost any conditions. But we’re likely to miss what he calls “orchid” people—those whose lives are marked by extremely high potential for both outstanding contributions and catastrophic failure because of their extreme reactivity to their surroundings.

100- William Nash said that the people who are most likely to overcome mental health challenges are those who found relationships where “somebody listened to them, really listened… without becoming disgusted, without judging,” and still loved them. For the sufferer to experience that love as genuine, Nash said, “it can’t really be a helping professional like me who’s paid to come in and give you 50 minutes of an hour.” The love that heals is not for sale.

108- When we let ourselves define others by their difficulties, as if these are immutable, we excise God and ourselves from the transforming work God empowers people to do.

123- The quietness and rest that people with mental health problems need is also something we all need… Most of us require more stillness than our cultures are generally willing to give. For us to live according to the pace and drive of contemporary Western culture is for us to burn through our neural circuitry in ways that lead to disruptive and disorderly crises. For us to honor God with our lives, we need to live in ways that may seem out of step with many around us.

129- Successfully managing feelings requires knowing that feelings aren’t less than thoughts; they’re simply different from thoughts. Without feelings, we would miss some of the information God has encoded into our systems of gathering and responding to God’s world… Many feelings are at the core of what allows us to connect and bond in human community.

144-145- For an individual with mental health problems, the special challenge is to discern the useful feelings—those that come in response to a situation and give clues to personal values and purpose—from the feelings that simply come like storm surges. There is rarely any meaning to be found in the latter. All that can be done is to set the feeling aside and do the next thing. But without good discernment, a person risks either ignoring big feelings that have useful information or attending excessively to feelings whose only meaning is to show that one’s body is out of whack right now.

181- What people with mental health problems generally need from churches is not mental health treatment but Christian friendship and the kinds of caring that can emerge only among those committed to each other. Faith communities are designed by God as places where people can belong, find meaning and purpose in life, be recognized as valued persons in the sight of God and other people, and find hope for the days to come. These kinds of caring don’t require professional support. In fact, they happen most effectively when they are provided long term by nonprofessionals.

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“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Image courtesy of Amazon.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.