He Leadeth Me

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of God’s calling on our lives and how He leads us. It seems to me that there may be a lot of misconceptions in the minds of Christians, due to lack of teaching or wrong teaching on the subject. (James 1:5-8 is often misused in this regard.) Perhaps you can identify with some of these misguided thoughts:

• If you pray about it, God will give you clear directions.
• Good Christians can always know what God intends for them to do.
• If you don’t know what to do, it’s your own lack of faith.
• When God closes a door, He opens a window.

Looking back over my own journey, I can get discouraged by thinking that I’ve made wrong decisions that God has to keep fixing. And if I fall into the comparison trap, it looks like the really “spiritual people” have no doubts about the road ahead. That’s why I found great encouragement in this quote from a sermon by T.J. Tims:

“If we’re bouncing around, and we often are, it’s only the bumpers of divine sovereignty, sort of directing our course, making our lives fruitful. And I know that when I say that, some of us, we feel as if we’ve gone irreparably off course in our lives. Like there was this better version of our life that could have been, and here we are settling for like the third or fourth or fifth or hundredth tier down of the life that we could have had. But it cannot be true, because down beneath our derailments—the unavoidable ones and the avoidable ones—are the everlasting arms of God, working out all things for our good and for His glory. God’s out ahead of us preparing the way… We discover our destiny like this—by choosing… a God-glorifying heading and then walking that way… What do you want to do, for His glory? Head that way. And then, expect derailments— [Ephesians 2:10, ‘God prepared good works] that we should walk in them.’ …You choose a heading that you know would be pleasing to God, and then you receive the derailments as the will of God. And along the way you find yourself stumbling into fruitfulness that you did not anticipate. That’s what it looks like to be led by God.”

He goes on to point to the Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 1:13 “I do not want you to be unaware, brothers, that I have often intended to come to you (but thus far have been prevented), in order that I may reap some harvest among you as well as among the rest of the Gentiles.” Paul literally went through shipwrecks, imprisonment, and beatings as he sought to follow God’s will. That would make anybody question whether they were on the right path.

Think about some of the other people in Scripture.

• Abraham went out, not knowing where he was going (Heb. 11:8).
• Joshua, after bragging to his brothers, ended up in a pit, slavery, and prison, before eventually being able to say “God meant it for good” (Gen. 50:20).
• Moses went from the palace to the wilderness before he was ready to lead the Israelites out of Egypt (Ex. 2:10, 15). When he did receive divine instruction in a burning bush, he tried to talk his way out of it (Ex. 3:11).
• After surviving a famine, Naomi lost her husband and sons. All she could think to do was go back to her home country, and Ruth decided to go with her. They had no idea God would use that decision to contribute to the lineage of the Messiah (Matt. 1:5).
• Jonah tried to run from God’s direct command and ended up in a fish (Jon. 1:17).
• John the Baptist seemed clear on his direction until he ended up in prison. Then he wondered if he’d been wrong all along (Matt. 11:3).

The vast majority of people in the Bible never heard a direct command from God telling them where to go and what to do. They simply went through their lives doing the next thing that was before them. And in ancient culture there just weren’t that many options. There were few career paths, and most people stayed in one community for life.

Today, we have so many options that we don’t even know how to choose. We think it would be nice if God handed each of us a manuscript and said “Here’s exactly what you’re supposed to do.” Then we could feel confident that we were on the right path. Instead, we are meant to just keep walking and making the best decisions we can with the information we have, and trust that God will derail our plans if He chooses to. It takes a lot more faith to live this way than it would to just follow an instruction book.

If I had planned the path to get to where I am now, I would have made it a much straighter road. The things I thought I was going to do didn’t pan out, and I had to choose the next step while walking in the dark. God used both positive and negative experiences to change my course (probably more of the negative ones). I never had any revelation that “Aha, that’s where God is taking me!” But looking back I can see how God used me in different ways in each of the many segments of the path. And God will use me in whatever direction my future path may go (though I’m not planning any changes at this point). He already knows our paths and is present with us at each step of the way, no matter how convoluted the road may seem (see Psalm 139).

“The Lord is my shepherd… He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me” (Ps. 23:1, 3-4a).

*** 

© 2022 Dawn Rutan text and image. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Pruning Hurts

I have an umbrella plant that a coworker gave me 25 years ago. Actually, I think she allowed me to rescue it when she was about to discard it. I haven’t given it much attention over the years, and it was sprawling in all directions. So I finally cut off a few branches and then thought I’d see if I could get them to root and thereby multiply my plant. (The jury is still out on that part.) If my plant could talk, it would probably be saying, “What in the world are you doing? I’m perfectly happy the way I am!”

I’ve found that same sentiment in my own heart lately. We might think that so long as we’re growing in faith and knowledge then there’s no need for God to start pruning, but Jesus said,

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:1-2).

I note a few things in these verses. First, God prunes those branches that are “in Me,” in other words, Christians. He has no need to prune those who are not Christians, because they are incapable of bearing spiritual fruit to begin with. They may do some good works, or they may not. And He may send trials that will cause them to turn to Him and accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, but that’s not the same as pruning. God disciplines His children through pruning:

“It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons… For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:7-8, 11).

Second, even for Christians there are branches in our lives that do not bear fruit and need to be removed. These may be sinful habits, wrong priorities, or self-sufficient abilities and attitudes. Sometimes pruning is necessary to further conform us to the image of Christ (see Romans 8:28 and 12:2). The Apostle Paul wrote,

“For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Cor. 1:8b-9).

Third, it is God’s goal for us to bear more fruit over time. Although we may be bearing some fruit as we are, He knows exactly what needs to be removed from or added to our lives to make us more fruitful. I think this may be the hardest for us to comprehend. We look at our own lives (both as individuals and as local churches) and think we’re doing pretty well, but God sees the opportunity for something better.

A well-known Christian author wrote in one book that God doesn’t take away things that are good for our spiritual growth, but then he went on to contradict himself later in the book. In contrast, Paul David Tripp wrote in Suffering:

“I thought I knew what God was doing. Life and ministry were as good and as fruitful as they’d ever been… Why would God ever mess with something that worked to give him glory and convinced people to live in rest and submission to him? Why would he not do anything he could to keep me strong, active, and speaking for him? … He’s after the ultimate good for his creation, and for us who bear his image, he’s moving creation to the moment when he will finally make all things new” (174, 177).

The fact is that God often takes away something good in order to create something better. He takes us off of familiar paths in order to make us depend on Him more. He may allow suffering in order to make us see our weakness and His strength. He prunes branches that are bearing fruit so that they can bear more fruit. Pruning can multiply our fruitfulness. However, we may not always receive the “something better” if we fail to seek God’s will during times of pruning. We may be inclined to make unwise decisions just to feel like we’re moving forward.

May we all learn to trust His plan, seek His will, and abide in His love in times of pruning.

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Surrender

I wrote some additional verses to the hymn “All to Jesus I Surrender,” inspired by the following quote from Carolyn Weber in Holy Is the Day:

“I pray for something I have never actually tried before for before: I ask with all I am that my embittering desires be lifted from me. I kneel in the grass and ask God to remove everything that is not a desire first and foremost for him… God must be the Alpha and Omega of my desire if I am to truly live, or else my desires will consume me and I will die not only the Great Death, but countless little deaths landing like stinging nettles on exposed skin, every hour of every day… I desired that in longing for God first, and entrusting all my other longings to him, I would be fulfilled by an abundance far greater than I could ever imagine.”

***

All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give my fears to Thee.
Thou alone my loving Shepherd
through this valley gently lead.

Chorus:
I surrender all,
I surrender all,
All to Thee my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,
in my weakness, Lord, I fall,
trusting Thou art fully sovereign,
on Thy mercy, Lord, I call.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Thou art Lord of heav’n and earth.
Lead Thy people by Thy Spirit,
Thou, the Head of this Thy church.

All to Jesus I surrender,
lead us in Thy will and plan.
Take us into Thy good future,
lead us by Thy righteous hand.

***

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of [His] heart” (Psalm 37:4).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Desire and Hope

“O Lord, You hear the desire of the afflicted; You will strengthen their heart; You will incline Your ear” (Psalm 10:17 ESV).

As I read this verse this week, I started thinking about the many different desires I have for myself and for others—spiritual, relational, vocational, physical—some small, some more grand. I wrote several down in my prayer journal. I’m sure we all have good desires in every area of our lives. David and the other psalmists wrote often of our desires:

• “May He grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans!” (Ps. 20:4).
• “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4).
• “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You” (Ps. 73:25).
• “You open Your hand; You satisfy the desire of every living thing… He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him; He also hears their cry and saves them” (Ps. 145:16, 19).

It is encouraging to remember that God knows all those desires, and that He knows best how to fulfill our desires in His own time and way. No, He won’t give us everything we want, but He will give us what He deems best. We have reason to hold on to hope, because God listens to our hearts and keeps us in His hand.

Even if we don’t see our desires fulfilled in this lifetime, in eternity we will find all good things. John Eldredge wrote:

“Desire cannot live without hope. Yet we can only hope for what we desire. There simply must be something more, something out there on the road ahead of us, that offers the life we prize. To sustain the life of the heart, the life of deep desire, we desperately need to possess a clearer picture of the life that lies before us... When we are convinced that something delicious is about to be ours, we are free to live in expectation, and it draws us on in anticipation” (The Journey of Desire, 105, 163-164).

Augustine put it this way:

“The entire life of a good Christian is in fact an exercise of holy desire. You do not yet see what you long for, but the very act of desiring prepares you, so that when He comes you may see and be utterly satisfied” (Commentary on the First Epistle of John).

In this broken world, it can be tempting to try to kill desire or pretend it doesn’t matter. Instead, we should look for the God-given desires that are at the root of all other desires. As we seek God’s will in Scripture, our desires are refined and brought into alignment with God’s desires. I’m sure it delights God when we ask Him to do things that are already in His plan. Like children growing up, we start out wanting whatever pleases us, but as we mature we start wanting better things both for ourselves and for those we love.

I want to desire God’s best, though I know I often settle for something much less valuable. It is my hope and prayer that God will take my lesser desires and turn them into something far beyond all I can ask or imagine. For now I’ll trust that He hears, He knows, and He cares.

“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 NKJV).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Risky Prayers

I woke up rather early this morning, and since returning to sleep seemed unlikely, I was praying about various things. After a while I found myself using phrases that I don’t normally use because they seem too risky. It is far easier to pray safe, benign prayers. Here is part of my prayer:

Lord, Creator, Sustainer… You raise up kingdoms and nations and You bring them down. You raise up those kingdoms that will glorify You, and You bring down those that don’t. And it’s not just the big kingdoms, but all the smaller “kingdoms” of our denominations, churches, homes, workplaces, hobbies… We build our own Towers of Babel for our own glory and satisfaction. But anything that doesn’t glorify You is an idol that must be torn down. Do what You desire with these things. We don’t want to stand in Your way. We don’t want to hold on to programs or traditions or habits or even the praise of man. While we don’t like to see the end of anything that appears good or beneficial, we want Your will more. It is Your name, Your kingdom, and Your will that matter, not ours.

I repeat, this is not my usual way of praying, and I’m sure I’m not alone. It almost seems crazy to give God free rein to do what He wants, but then again, He is God and is going to do so anyway. Surely it is better to admit to ourselves and to Him that we don’t know what is best, that we have mixed motives, and that we are not the ones in control of this world or our own lives. If we truly thought about the words of the Lord’s Prayer and its implications, we might be more reluctant to pray it frequently. It is no comfortable prayer.

Another risky prayer I encountered this week was Psalm 51. “Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean… Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me” (7, 10 ESV). If we’re honest, do we really want God to take away our bad habits, favorite sins, and wrong desires? There have certainly been periods of my life when all I really wanted from God was for Him to remove my guilt but not the desire to sin. “Clean up the outside, but leave my heart alone.” C. S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity:

“I think that many of us, when Christ has enabled us to overcome one or two sins that were an obvious nuisance, are inclined to feel that we are now good enough. He has done all we wanted Him to do, and we should be obliged if He would now leave us alone… But this is the fatal mistake. Of course we never wanted, and never asked, to be made into the sort of creatures He is going to make us into. But the question is not what we intended ourselves to be, but what He intended us to be when He made us” (174-75).

It gets a little dangerous and uncomfortable when you start praying the words of Scripture. It is easy to pray “bless them,” “be with them,” “protect them,” but those phrases are almost meaningless in the way we tend to use them. Do we dare to pray things like:

• With my whole heart I seek You; let me not wander from Your commandments! –Psalm 119:10
• Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to selfish gain! Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in Your ways. –Psalm 119:36-37
• Reprove and discipline me according to Your love. –Revelation 3:19
• Show Your greatness and Your holiness and make Yourself known. –Ezekiel 38:23
• Lord, look upon their threats and grant to Your servants to continue to speak Your word with boldness. –Acts 4:29
• We pray to God that you may not do wrong… Your restoration is what we pray for. –2 Corinthians 13:7, 9
• Open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to the power of God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith. –Acts 26:18

If we want to see God at work in our lives and in the lives of those we love, let’s stop praying comfortable prayers. I yearn for God to be glorified in my life through the visible evidence of His grace and mercy in justification and sanctification. I don’t want to settle for comfortable Christianity.

“To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by His power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” -2 Thessalonians 1:11-12

© 2017 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.