Seen and Unseen

In all the hype and talk about social media—its dangers and delights—it occurred to me recently that there’s a benefit that perhaps gets overlooked at times. Seeing likes or comments on your post gives the sense of being seen by others. It doesn’t really matter what the post is about—it’s an affirmation that we do exist and are not invisible. That may seem like an inconsequential thing, but consider the fact that through the pandemic there were untold numbers of people living in complete isolation and skyrocketing statistics on depression and anxiety. And isolation still lingers for many people.

I started thinking about the people who show up on my Facebook feed regularly (recognizing that algorithms control that in ways I can’t comprehend), and a large percentage of them are women who never married or are single again. In this podcast transcript from The Gospel Coalition, the comment was made that women use social media to connect with friends and family more so than men do. For those who live alone, social media is a small point of contact to say, “I’m still here and I hope you see me.” And for those who are not working outside the home, through retirement or other reasons, there can be a real deficiency in human contact most days of the week.

Scripture has a variety of references to being seen. One is in Genesis 16 when Hagar fled from Sarai into the wilderness. God speaks to her and her response is, “You are the God who sees me… I have now seen the One who sees me” (16:13 NIV). Another time, when Israel is suffering in bondage in Egypt, we’re told, “God saw the people of Israel—and God knew” (Ex. 2:25).

Jesus was also keen to see and reach out to people who were suffering and who lacked connection in the community.

• Matthew 9:20-22 – “And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His garment… Jesus turned, and seeing her He said, ‘Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.”
• Luke 7:12-15 – “As He drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother… And when the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her… And He said, ‘Young man, I say to you, arise.’ And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother.”
• Luke 13:11-12 – “And behold, there was a woman who had had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, He called her over and said to her, ‘Woman, you are freed from your disability.’”
• John 5:5-6 – At the pool of Bethesda, “One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be healed?’”

Sometimes the church is not so good at seeing the suffering and lonely individuals in our midst. In many churches, the only time we acknowledge sorrow is at funerals. Our worship services rarely include songs of lament, and prayer times often only include physical needs. In his book Finding Jesus in the Storm: The Spiritual Lives of Christians with Mental Health Challenges, John Swinton writes:

“If our liturgical practices do not take onboard the full breadth of human experiences, our formation will be incomplete… ‘We don’t name, we don’t lift up mental illness in our litany of concerns, so people feel invisible.’ The suggestion that some people may become invisible in worship is deeply troubling. If… some among us ‘disappear’ because of the shape of our worship practices, then all of us are failing in our task to honor God and to love our neighbor” (208-209).

Whether it’s in our church services or in daily life, to be the Body of Christ we need to follow Jesus' example of truly seeing those around us and making sure they don’t fall through the cracks and disappear.

“If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Cor. 12:26).

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© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Not Good

In his novel Deadline, Randy Alcorn imagines hell as complete isolation, being left alone with just your own thoughts. Quarantine may be a small taste of hell for many of us. Drew Hunter writes in Made for Friendship:

“[We] find that friendlessness isn’t just depressing; it’s actually quite dangerous. When we come unglued from others socially, we come unraveled emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. This is because we’re embodied beings… So when we experience loneliness, it affects every part of us… relationships put us back together. Friendship is the missing medicine for many of our afflictions” (40-41).

God’s statement in creation, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18), was not a result of the Fall but before it. It also did not just refer to the marriage relationship. In His triune nature God is relational, and He made us for relationships as well. Hunter quotes Tim Keller,

“Adam was not lonely because he was imperfect, but because he was perfect. The ache for friends is the one ache that is not the result of sin… This is one ache that is part of his perfection… God made us in such a way that we cannot enjoy paradise without friends.”

Adam had daily access to God walking with him, and yet that was not sufficient.

“Wonderful as are both the presence of the Lord Jesus every day and the prospect of his coming on the last day, they are not intended to be a substitute for human friendships… When our spirit is lonely, we need friends… To admit this is not unspiritual; it is human” (John Stott as quoted by Hunter).

Matthew Stanford writes in Grace for the Afflicted: A Clinical and Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness:

“An active and supportive faith community cultivates life, while isolation beings frustration and fatigue… A strong faith community offers comfort and support, gains wisdom as it learns from one another, shares and upholds common values, strengthens one another, takes risks together, and always looks to encourage one another… The key is staying connected to a few trusted and supportive people, not trying to keep up with the gathering or community events that are wearing them down. Living in community is more about being connected to life-giving relationships than trying to attend events with people a person doesn’t know well” (ch. 15).

The author of Hebrews warns us, “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin… And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 3:13, 10:24-25).

“We can’t experience this everyday encouragement with every person in our church. This command gets traction as we carry it out in smaller networks of relationships—in friendships. In other words, perseverance in the faith requires the practice of friendship. This means that we should view discipleship as a form of friendship. Real discipleship—helping others follow Jesus—happens in the rhythms of everyday life. Discipleship works best when we pursue it in life-on-life relationships” (Hunter 93).

As we’ve all been experiencing varying degrees of isolation during this pandemic, I hope we’re all realizing the value and need of our relationships within the Body of Christ. Like me, you may be discovering which relationships mean the most to you, or perhaps seeing a lack of true friendships that you hadn’t noticed till now. I would challenge all in church leadership to reassess all the programs of their churches and see whether they are contributing to the relational discipleship we all need. How much connection is there between members outside of Sunday morning?

Those who think that online services are just as good if not better than in person services have a very limited view of what the church is or should be. If teaching is all you’re looking for, then there are thousands of good options out there. But teaching is only one part of the biblical prescription for the Body of Christ. “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (Ephesians 4:15-16). We can’t grow up in Christ unless we grow together.

“In [Christ] the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit” (Ephesians 2:21-22).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Fightings and Fears

One day recently while reading a fictional story, I encountered the sentence, “Don’t try to fight alone.” As I moved on through the paragraph, I realized what I had heard in my mind was, “Try not to fight alone,” and I knew that was a very different idea. It’s not unlike the line in a Casting Crowns song that I often misremember as “You’re on your own, keep holding on…”

Isn’t that how we tend to live though? “Look out for yourself; take care of number one; God helps those who help themselves…” It sounds good until you start comparing it to Scripture.

• “Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God” (Isaiah 50:10 ESV). 
• “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken” (Psalm 62:5-6). 
• “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent” (Exodus 14:14). 
• “For the Lord your God is He who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory” (Deuteronomy 20:4). 

It is not God’s intent for us to fight alone or to hang on by our own strength. Rather, He will do the fighting and will hold onto us when we have no strength of our own. Trying to stand alone is what often leads to fear. We recognize that we are weak and we need someone bigger and stronger. Edward Welch writes in Running Scared:

“Search Scripture and find that our fears are not trivial to God. ‘Do not be afraid’ are not the words of a flesh-and-blood friend, a mere human like yourself. They are not the hollow words of a fellow passenger on a sinking ship, who has no experience in shipwrecks, can’t swim, and has no plan. These words are more like those of the captain who says, ‘Don’t be afraid. I know what to do.’ When the right person speaks these words you might be comforted. Remember, ‘Do not be afraid’ are the words of the One who can match speech with action. He is the sovereign King who really is in control. The efficacy of the words is directly related to the authority, power, and love of the One speaking them” (62).

Whether the command is “Fear not,” “Be still,” “Wait,” or “Don’t fight,” we can trust the authority of the One who is in control of every situation. He will fight for us. And because He is a good Father, He also gives us the other members of His Body to walk with us through the hills and valleys of life. We don’t need to walk alone or to fight alone.

I can’t help but think of Matt Redman’s song “Never Once,” which is a great reminder of God’s faithfulness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1bXG4WIesA

“If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me” (Psalm 139:9-10).

© 2016 Dawn Rutan.