One and Done

I recently read the book Single Together: Stewarding Singleness in the Family of God, by Lisa LaGeorge. While it seems more geared toward singles who desire marriage (like the author), it is a beneficial book for all singles, as well as for church leaders who want to better minister to, and with, a large segment of the church population. One of the helpful parts of the book is that each chapter ends with questions for the church and questions for personal reflection or discussion.

A difficulty that many of us wrestle with is that singleness has so many different faces that can’t be lumped into one stereotype. There are those who do not desire marriage, those who want to marry but haven’t found the right person, those who are single again after divorce or the death of a spouse, those who are single parents, those who struggle with same-sex attraction, those who have always lived with their parents, those who are caring for aging parents, and many other variables.

Thinking about my own history, as a small child I assumed I would get married (to the only boy my age in that particular church). But then as adulthood and independence emerged, I discovered that I didn’t really want to go down that road. There are a lot of reasons, both good and bad, that influenced my choices, but I have no regrets about that now in middle age. I love having my own space and the ability to use my free time and money in whatever way God may lead.

For many singles, the challenge comes in finding a church where we can fit in, find supportive relationships, and serve in the ways we are gifted. Unfortunately, some church leaders may be shocked to learn that single women don’t always want to serve in the nursery or teach little kids, nor do we all like to cook. We may not want to attend a singles’ group either. As a young adult I once (and only once) attended a singles’ group at a large church nearby, only to discover that if you didn’t already know people there you might as well forget it. LaGeorge notes:

Rather than separating classes and small groups by life situations, ensure that singles have the opportunity to join multigenerational fellowship groups. Segregation can make some singles feel like they don’t fit in anywhere, especially if they are over thirty years old.

And just because we’re single doesn’t mean we always have lots of free time to devote to serving others. Most of us have jobs to go to, bills to pay, homes to upkeep, and we need to rest too. Oftentimes our participation in different activities has far more to do with our personalities than our marital status. I’ve found the same to be true of friendships, where common interests and shared faith bind us together in such a way that marriage and singleness become secondary. I appreciate this quote from Danielle Treweek that is shared early in the book,

At the time of their conversion or profession of faith, a Christian’s primary familial loyalties transfer from their family of origin to their family of adoption—that is, the church of God’s people.

I think sometimes the church loses sight of that truth, particularly in regions where multiple generations of families live within a few miles of each other. Those biological ties tend to outweigh the ties of faith when it comes to prioritizing time and relationships. That makes it even harder for singles to connect with others, since we’re more likely to be the ones who don’t have family nearby.

With a post like this, I fear that I’m preaching to the singles’ choir, because most married folks don’t give much thought to the experience of their unmarried friends. But as I’m often reminded, we all started out as singles, more than half of married couples will be single again one day, and none of us will be married in the eternal kingdom except as the Bride of Christ. How might we better reflect that reality in our life here and now?

“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him [or her], and to which God has called [them]. This is my rule in all the churches” (1 Cor. 7:17).

© 2026 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Burnout

Barna recently published the results of a study on pastoral burnout. Some of the findings are encouraging, but others are not. They note “Pastoral exhaustion is down. Confidence in one’s calling has largely rebounded from its pandemic low. What has not recovered is deeper vocational satisfaction.” But what came to my mind was that these findings aren’t entirely unique to pastoral ministry. There are similarities in other forms of Christian ministry as well as in secular employment.

Another article from earlier this year states, “Workplace burnout has reached a six-year high in the United States, and the employee burnout statistics behind it paint a much bigger picture than most employers realize,” with Gen Z experiencing burnout faster than older generations. Interestingly, they found that remote or hybrid workers struggle with burnout more than others. A recent video clip from a professor at Bethel University notes that younger workers actually do not prefer remote work, in part because they grew up during COVID and understand the perils of isolation.

I think all these studies point to things we probably know but often fail to implement in our lives: Working harder and longer hours is not the source of satisfaction. Earning more money isn’t always worth the cost to our mental and physical health. Being tied to our screens and feeding on “social” media does not necessarily give us the relational support we really need. Scripture tells us:

• “I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind” (Eccl. 1:14).
• “Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? (Is. 55:2a).
• “The righteous has enough to satisfy his appetite, but the belly of the wicked suffers want” (Prov. 13:25).

Often what we really need is to slow down, rest (imagine that!), and connect with those in the Body of Christ who can support, counsel, and encourage us in our daily walk.

As I write this, my denomination is in the midst of preparing for our Triennial Convention in a few weeks, with all kinds of details to arrange, questions to answer, and some debates to moderate. It can be tiresome and even irksome at times. But next week I get to enjoy time with friends at our regional Family Camp in the Blue Ridge Mountains, and I know it will be uplifting for my weary soul. Without that break, I don’t know how I would make it through the next month. I know I’ll need some additional rejuvenation when the dust settles, so I’m getting things on the calendar as motivation to endure.

I’m grateful that my identity is not in my ability to do a job, though I have to remind myself of that frequently. It actually comes from being united with Christ and a member of His Body. It does include work, but only at the direction of the Head, not my own unreasonable expectations and endeavors. At the end of the day, and the end of life, what matters is resting in what He has done, not what I have done.

“Satisfy us in the morning with Your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” (Ps. 90:14).

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© 2026 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

God-Confidence

This year I’ve been reading Paul Tripp’s devotional book New Morning Mercies, and the entry for June 25 was about Deuteronomy 1, where the Israelites were reminded of their history of looking into the Promised Land but being too fearful to enter it.

Moses had told the Israelites, “’The Lord your God who goes before you will Himself fight for you, just as He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place.’ Yet in spite of this word you did not believe the Lord your God” (Deut. 1:30-32). Then after Moses died, God spoke to Joshua and commanded him three times, “Be strong and courageous” (Josh. 1:6, 7, 9).

I can think of times when people have tried to tell me, “Be strong! Be courageous! Don’t worry! It will be fine!” Whether it was during childhood or as an adult, statements like that have never helped me one bit. It feels dismissive and condescending, and makes me want to say, “You have no idea what I'm going through, so don’t tell me how to feel!”

But it changes the whole picture (or at least it should) when God is the One encouraging us to be strong and courageous. He is the only One who knows our thoughts and feelings better than we do. He knows what we desire and what we fear (whether true or false). He also knows the real dangers and He has the authority to defeat every enemy. He will never leave or forsake us. Only One who is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent can truly be trusted in each and every situation we face.

That doesn’t mean it is easy to be strong and courageous. We don’t know exactly what God is going to do or what struggles He may allow us to go through. There will be plenty of things that get our heartrate up or make us wonder where the exit is. There may even be times when we say, “No thanks, God, I can’t face that right now.” But God isn’t exasperated with our timidity or anxiety. He knows why we react the way we do and all the life experiences that have shaped our nervous system and personality. And He keeps saying “I love you with all your faults and fears.” Then on those occasions when we do step into the unknown in spite of our fears, God says, “I’m proud of you, My child.” That’s a reminder I need frequently, as perhaps we all do.

Society tells us we need self-esteem and self-confidence, but that’s not what God was saying to Moses and Joshua. He wasn’t trying to convince them they had what it took to lead the people, but that He did. He doesn’t need people who are self-confident and independent. He uses people who know they are weak and needy, who will rely on Him for each small step, holding tightly to His hand. As Tripp notes,

“Don’t be discouraged. God has you exactly where he wants you. He knows just how he will use what makes you afraid in order to build your faith. He is not surprised by the troubles you face, and he surely has no intention of leaving you to face those things on your won. He stands with you in power, glory, goodness, wisdom, and grace. He can defeat what you can’t, and he intends these troubles to be not enemies that finish you but tools of grace that transform you.”

So when the path ahead looks too hard, may we learn to pray, “God, I can’t do this, but You can. Will You carry me?” and then trust that the answer is always “Yes!”

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Josh. 1:9).

**This picture is one I drew many years ago that seemed appropriate for this post. 

Text and image © 2026 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Smile of God

In his book, Now I Become Myself, Ken Shigematsu shares something a friend wrote to him:

“The image that came to me for you was one of God celebrating over you, in the sense not only that God loves you, but that he also LIKES you. He likes your walk, the way you talk, your sense of humor—even the things you feel are just odd or quirky—maybe even something you are wishing you could change about yourself, God likes” (ch. 4).

Later in the book he comments that when we notice something beautiful, “remember this is a small glimpse of what God feels when he sees you” (ch. 9), and “God is the author of pleasure, and so God delights in our delight” (ch. 10).

The idea of God’s delight has captured my attention this week. I can often take myself (and everyone else) too seriously. I sometimes struggle to laugh with others (perhaps because I don’t understand their humor). So then to think of God enjoying His children challenges my perspective.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17). He has given us many good things to enjoy, so why wouldn’t He be glad, and indeed glorified, when we do in fact enjoy them? But He’s not just an artist who is glad to be recognized, He’s also our Father. Having never had children of my own, I don’t know this for sure, but it seems to me that there’s not much better than a laughing baby or child. There is abundant evidence on social media that we enjoy their enjoyment.

I’ve been looking for ways to apply this in my own life, primarily by thinking about the things I enjoy and remembering that God notices and smiles along with me. In my case that includes things like trying to name the colors in a sunset; seeing where my prisms create rainbows on the walls; talking to the critters I find in my yard (from beetles to box turtles and black snakes); and even learning curious word derivations.

As a side note, I’m trying to relearn biblical Greek by reading an interlinear Bible, and a few times I’ve laughed at words Matthew chose for his gospel. I don’t recall ever laughing at Scripture before, and I think God laughs along. I was just reminded of the story Mike Yaconelli wrote in Dangerous Wonder about Jesus joining in a mud fight with His disciples. I’m sure he would agree that Christians can sometimes be too serious and “proper” about their faith.

If the father of the prodigal son in Luke 15 did everything improper—running to meet him, embracing and clothing him, and throwing a party to welcome the rebel back—what does that tell us about our heavenly Father? He gladly welcomes not just repentant sinners, but each of His distracted, depressed, and downtrodden children. He lifts our chins, reminds us to look at all the good things He has provided, and invites us to join in the party He is hosting for us.

Ironically (and providentially), I started reading Now I Become Myself not long after I had been thinking about the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 and pondering why joy seems harder to manifest than the other descriptors (but keeping in mind that none of it is the fruit of human effort). And although I’ve often tried to parse out the difference between joy and happiness, I wonder if perhaps the main difference is whether it points us to God. Shigematsu notes,

“Any practice that makes us come alive over time, even if it is not overtly religious, is a spiritual practice. Whenever we experience the pleasure of play, we are given a window into God’s abounding pleasure in us. If you feel joyful pleasure in a frivolous and unnecessary luxury, remember that joy is God’s invention and intention for us. God calls us to a life of joy” (ch. 10).

I believe God gives us many glimpses of joy through His creation, His people, and His Word. If we will take the time to look up from our screens, to notice God’s goodness and give thanks, it will help to brighten each day.

“You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

© 2026 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Safe Spaces

I just finished reading Mental Health and the Church, by Stephen Grcevich. I wish all church leaders would read it, if for no other reason than to realize that every person experiences church activities somewhat differently, and those with mental health challenges may struggle with things that the average church member takes for granted. The author notes:

“The hidden nature of most mental health-related disabilities often leads to situations at church in which volunteers and church staff with good intentions inadvertently cause embarrassment or discomfort.”

For example, those with social anxiety may be very uncomfortable with greeting times or socializing after the service. Unfamiliar situations may create overwhelming anxiety for children and adults. Those who struggle with depression may tend to isolate themselves because they don’t have the energy to engage. Some people may be very reluctant to read or pray aloud if they have verbal processing difficulties. Many mental health diagnoses include sensory processing differences. Those with ADHD may enjoy loud music, bright lights, and lots of movement, but those with autism may be overwhelmed by that level of stimulation.

“There is no single church for everyone… Your church will never be able to create a culture that will be perfect for every child or every adult with every conceivable disability. But every church can do something to welcome more families impacted by disability—including mental illness.”

Although some of the suggestions in the book are not practical for small churches, a good starting point for every church leader is to question your assumptions:

• “We don’t have that problem here.” -Mental health challenges and diagnoses are far more common than many people realize. There are likely to be some in your congregation (unless you only have 5 members).
• “Our people are all very comfortable here.” -Have you actually asked them? Do you ever get complaints about the music, pews, or décor? That might be a hint that there is something going on under the surface.
• “We are very welcoming to newcomers.” -How many of those newcomers keep coming back? If that person has rarely been to church before, what are you expecting them to know before they come in the door? What can they find out from your website or social media in order to relieve a little stress?

Think too about the perspectives of those who do have hidden challenges:

• Are children expected to be separated from parents or trusted friends? Do you expect all kids to behave a certain way and be able to perform age-specific tasks?
• What activities or spaces might be challenging for a person with severe anxiety? Hypersensitivity? ADHD? Autism?

I consider myself to be a highly sensitive person, in addition to dealing with varying degrees of anxiety and depression. I’m easily startled by unexpected touch or loud sounds, so I look for ways to protect myself by constantly scanning my environment. In new surroundings, I like to sit with my back near a wall so that I can see what’s coming. But I’ve also figured out that in the sanctuary I need to sit near the front so that I am not constantly distracted by everything around me. And even though I’ve been at my church nearly three decades and generally know what to expect, there are still times when I struggle with the motivation to attend because I know how much energy it will take to get through the morning. I can only imagine how hard it would be for someone with more severe sensitivities.

The book also addresses the topic of stigma, which I won’t get into here, except to say that I would never attend a church that says psychiatric diagnoses aren’t real or that medications should be avoided. There is no biblical basis for that position, and people are suffering because of it. Let’s not add to the burdens people are already carrying.

“A bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench; He will faithfully bring forth justice” (Isaiah 42:3 and Matt. 12:20).

© 2026 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Last Days

The book of Revelation is one part of Scripture where I don’t spend a lot of time. Having been raised in a denomination that got its start with the huge blunder of predicting the date of the Second Coming, I generally avoid books and discussions on Revelation. I usually want to say, “Can’t we just agree it’s a mystery?!” However, I decided to make an exception and read Shane Wood’s recent book, Thinning the Veil: Encountering Jesus Christ in the Book of Revelation, after I heard him on a podcast. I’ll admit there was quite a bit of the book that I skimmed fairly quickly, but I did appreciate his approach, which is best summarized in the Introduction:

“Assumptions influence vision and guide our questions. If Revelation is a chronological road map of the future, then our questions demand the text to answer: ‘When will the world end? How will we know it’s drawing near? What signs signal the coming rapture? Is [fill in the name of a political enemy] the antichrist?’ These questions and endless others are understandable if we assume Revelation intends to predict. But what if Revelation doesn’t want to answer these questions? … Revelation’s target is bigger than mere prediction or fortunetelling cartography. Each time the ‘end of the world’ is invoked, it is in service of a greater aim: thinning the veil. Revealing Jesus Christ. Transforming those with ears to hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

As with much of the Christian life, we can easily get sidetracked into lesser issues and grey areas. We look for rules, maps, and calendars when God is more interested in drawing us into relationship with Himself. From the creation of mankind in the image of God, He has continually pursued us with the desire to extend the fellowship that exists within the Trinity to include us. Revelation ends with the promise, “Surely I am coming soon!” That is the conclusion that matters the most. Wood notes in his last chapter,

“As Christians, are we worshiping a person or a place? Do we yearn for heaven or for intimacy with God? … In the end, the Revelation of Jesus Christ doesn’t settle for a place or mere prediction. Its target is far more grand. Far more elaborate. Its target is you. Is me. The transformation of the reader through intimacy with the God who calls you by name. Even by a new name.”

While I was reading this book, I decided to pull out a collection of articles on Revelation that my great grandfather wrote and my grandmother compiled. I’ve started typing them in order to make them available to the rest of my family. However, I quickly got bogged down in his interpretive details and long sentences. I have no doubt he studied long and hard to write these articles, but I’m beginning to think he missed the point. (Perhaps I’ll change my mind by the time I get to the end.)

It’s easy to miss the forest for the trees in a book like Revelation. I dare say the same may be true of many areas of study. We can get so consumed with figuring out how cells function, how molecules interact, and how stars come into being that we lose sight of the Creator and Sustainer of all things. Claiming to be wise, we become fools when we exchange the glory of the immortal God for our own perspectives, interpretations, and ideas (see Rom. 1:22-23).

“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God” (Rev. 21:3).

Even so, come, Lord Jesus!

© 2026 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

True Prosperity

Down the road there is a new ‘church’ that openly states on its website, “We believe in divine healing and prosperity through faith in the Name of Jesus and obedience to His Word. These benefits are included in and are a part of our Redemption.” It’s sad to see how many people are drawn to listen to this false gospel in hopes that their life here on earth will get better. I have to wonder if they realize they are not worshiping the true God but an idol of health and wealth? Would they be more excited about winning the lottery than they would about Jesus’ return?

We’d all like to live comfortably and free from physical and mental illness, but that is not promised in Scripture. Max Lucado wrote in Tame Your Thoughts:

“Scripture makes three clear statements about affliction. First, there is no pain-free option. ‘In the world you will have tribulation’ (John 16:33 ESV)… Second, everyone does something with their pain… Numb it… Run from it… Third, pain displays God’s glory. We exist to make a big deal out of God” (ch. 10).

Job was a righteous man who had all kinds of wealth. But God took it all away as an illustration for all of us that our lives are not about how good and faithful we are, but how good and faithful God is. Our lives are not about us.

The prophet Isaiah said, “For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, ‘In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.’ But you were unwilling” (Is. 30:14). That verse led me to write the following in my prayer journal:

Israel was reluctant to rely on You, and often we’re not much better today. I’d like to know the future so I can be prepared for it, yet Your answer is “Trust Me.” I’d like to be strong enough and smart enough to deal with whatever comes my way, but You say, “My strength is perfect.” I’d like to plan all the details, but You say, “My thoughts are not your thoughts and My ways are not your ways.” Lord, help me trust Your plans, Your purposes, and Your power, because that is how You have designed us to function in Your world!

Health and wealth and knowledge and power might temporarily satisfy, but one Day soon God is going to ask each of us where our faith was really placed, for “no one can serve two masters… You cannot serve God and money” (Matt. 6:24).

I’m relieved that faith isn’t proved by outward measures like health and wealth. If that were true, I’d constantly be worried about how much is enough. Instead, the pains, troubles, and losses in this world are a constant reminder that this life is not all there is. On that final Day, all those struggles will be forgotten like a passing shadow as we behold the glorious Light of the World. When He makes all things new we will get to enjoy it, but even then we’ll remember that none of it really matters compared to living in perfect relationship with the One who created us and redeemed us by His love and grace.

“Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him” (Is. 30:18).

 © 2026 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.