Not My Strength

I Prayed and Nothing Changed is a new book by Ste Casey. Part of the book focuses on the Apostle Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three time I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (vv. 7-9).

Casey makes the point that whatever Paul’s thorn was, it was given to him by God for the purpose of keeping him humble. It seems that the thorn (or “stake”) was specifically suited for Paul’s temperament, to keep him reliant upon God.

When we face trials and difficulties, we can often forget that God is still in control. Satan could not touch Job without God’s permission (Job 1-2), and the same is true for us. We may also forget that God uses all things for the good purpose of conforming us to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:28-29). If those truths were always solidly planted in our hearts, we’d probably find it easier to “give thanks in all circumstances, [remembering that] this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:18).

It is hard to accept and remember that our specific trials are those that God knows will best suit His purposes in our lives. I’ve often thought “If I just had that particular problem, I could handle it easily.” That’s probably why I have to deal with different challenges instead. Successfully handling something in my own strength is only going to lead to pride. But having to rely on God to uphold me day by day makes me remember that it is His strength that is perfect, not mine.

Modern culture tells us we aren’t supposed to be weak, dependent, or (heaven forbid!) uncomfortable. But that is not how God’s kingdom operates. Casey writes:

“We learn from Paul that in the kingdom of the crucified and risen Lord, surrender is success, weakness is strength, and humility is greatness. There is no joy without pain, no victory without wounds, and no wealth without loss” (ch. 1).

When we go through seasons, or a lifetime, of struggle in some area, may we cling to the truths that 1) God is good, 2) He is fully aware of what we’re dealing with, 3) He has permitted it in our lives, and 4) He will use it for our good and His glory. Therefore, we can rest in His sustaining power and give thanks.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Is. 41:10).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

In Our Weakness

In a recent podcast from The Gospel Coalition, Ray Ortlund pointed out that in Romans 8:26, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness” it is not plural, weaknesses, but “in our weakness.” He says, “Weakness is not one more experience alongside all these other experiences. Weakness is the foundation or platform on which we have all experiences. We have never known, for one nanosecond in this life, a moment of non-weakness”

We could put it this way: our experiences of particular weaknesses are the things that remind us of our inherent weakness and neediness as fallen creatures, and they should also remind us that God is the one who carries us through. As the Apostle Paul wrote in a verse I return to often, “He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9).

This kind of thinking is antithetical to our Western autonomous culture. Children and youth are taught from an early age that they should be self-confident and self-directed, everyone is a winner, follow your heart, feeling bad means something needs to be fixed or changed. Affirmation is the mantra of the day, even if it means affirming them in life-changing decisions and relationships that we know are anti-biblical.

In another podcast that I’ve come across, The Care Ministry, guest Monica Coleman refers to being called by God to break the silences and stigma about those areas of mental health that are so often kept silent even in the church. In many ways, I feel that describes my own calling. I got tired of trying to hide depression and pretending that everything is “fine and dandy.” Life is hard, and mental illness is one particular weakness that many people wrestle with in silence. It is a constant reminder that we’re not the strong, self-assured people that society, and often the church, says we’re supposed to be.

And since I need all the encouraging words I can find, in another of my favorite podcasts from Immanuel Nashville, Barnabas Piper preached on Mark 9 and the man whose son was suffering from an unclean spirit. This was the father who proclaimed, “I believe, help my unbelief!” Piper notes that faith and doubt can coexist. “Doubts are uncomfortable, especially if you have grown up in a church context… ‘I believe’ is a profession of faith, and ‘help my unbelief’ is the prayer of faith… Faith is not measured in certainty, but by trusting Jesus with our needs.”

We are all weak and needy people. Pretending we have no doubts or struggles not only keeps us from seeking strength and help from God, but also isolates us from one another in our many times of need. Someone recently made a comment to me, and perhaps I misunderstood their intent, but it sounded like they were saying that people put on a happy face at church because that’s how they want to feel and what they think will encourage other people. But for those who are aware of their own weakness and trials, that is just one more barrier to connecting with others in a meaningful way.

I feel like a hypocrite when I plaster on a smile and join in singing songs that imply that God heals every weakness and wound in this lifetime. I know that in the resurrection He will do so, but as long as we live in this broken world we’ll have to wrestle with sin, doubt, weakness, and sorrow. To pretend that we are above such things is to join the Pharisees and to lay heavy burdens on the shoulders of those who don’t measure up (Matt. 23:4). Instead, let us acknowledge our weakness and “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Gal. 6:2-3).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Strong and Weak

There’s a poem from Dietrich Bonhoeffer that I often remember, “Who Am I?” (You can read the whole poem here.) The gist of it is the question of whether he is the confident public persona he projects or the “contemptible woebegone weakling” that he experiences internally, or both at the same time. That’s probably a question we all face at times. (At least, I hope I’m not the only one!) We can be pretty good at portraying confidence and competence in certain areas of life while simultaneously feeling like idiots for our failures and weakness in other areas.

I’ve probably written before that pride and shame are two sides of the same coin. We all crave approval and affirmation, and we generally try to hide anything that makes us look bad. But then we read the words of the Apostle Paul in his letters to the Corinthian believers. He talks about boasting in the wrong things (2 Cor. 10:12-18), God using the weak and foolish to shame the wise (1 Cor. 1:26-31), and he concludes, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9b).

Throughout his letters, Paul refers to the strength that comes from God. He uses multiple Greek words that are sometimes translated establish or commit or empower, depending on what Bible translation you prefer. Here are just a few of his statements (Strong’s numbers noted):

• “[I pray] that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened [2901] with power through His Spirit in your inner being” (Eph. 3:16).
• “Finally, be strong [1743] in the Lord and in the strength [2904] of His might” (Eph. 6:10).
• “I can do all things through Him who strengthens [1743] me” (Phil. 4:13).
• “Being strengthened [1412] with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy” (Col. 1:11).
• “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established [950] in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (Col. 2:6-7).

Bonhoeffer makes the comment in a letter to Eberhard Bethge of July 16, 1944,

“Matt. 8:17 makes it quite clear that Christ helps us not by virtue of his omnipotence but rather by virtue of his weakness and suffering! This is the crucial distinction between Christianity and all religions… The Bible directs people toward the powerlessness and the suffering of God; only the suffering God can help.”

Our existence, our salvation, our sanctification, and our service are not by our own strength and abilities, but because of Christ alone. We can boast in our weakness because that is where His strength is revealed (2 Cor. 12:9a).

For me personally, it’s okay that I’m an accountant who’s bad at mental math. It’s okay that social interactions create anxiety and exhaustion. Sleepless nights should be a reminder that I’m not the one in control—God is (though that still doesn’t help me to sleep better). I’ve had a lot of reminders of my weakness lately and I, like many of us, need to remember God’s strength and sufficiency.

“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word” (2 Thess. 2:16-17).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

In Dependence

I don’t know how many people use the M’Cheyne Bible Reading Plan. This is the first year I’ve used it in a long time. In the readings for March 16 I noticed something curious. In John 6:63 Jesus said, “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all” (ESV). Then in Galatians 2 Paul wrote that those “who seemed influential added nothing to me. On the contrary… He who worked through Peter for his apostolic ministry to the circumcised worked also through me for mine to the Gentiles” (6-8). Wait a second—who were Peter and Paul? The ESV Study Bible describes Peter as a “middle-class fisherman who very likely knew Greek from his youth” (2402). Paul (Saul) was a Jew educated under Gamaliel (Acts 22:3). So the fisherman was sent with the gospel to the Jews and the educated Jew was sent to the Gentiles. It appears that God intentionally sent them outside their comfort zones so that they would have to rely on Him and not on their own abilities.

Paul was eager to set aside his accomplishments as zealous Jew— “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ” (Philippians 3:7). Though his education did aid him in his teaching and writing, he learned that human strength and ingenuity wouldn’t accomplish the ministry he was given. “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness” (2 Corinthians 11:30). Peter proclaimed that “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence” (2 Peter 1:3). All that he needed came from God, not from his own efforts.

The same is true for us. We tend to think that we are saved by grace but then everything else is up to us. Watchman Nee, though not the best of theologians, was correct in writing, “The Christian life from start to finish is based upon this principle of utter dependence upon the Lord Jesus.” As soon as we rely on ourselves for anything, we are on thin ice.

J. C. Ryle wrote in The Cross: Crucified with Christ, and Christ Alive in Me:

“…no minister, no layman—no one man could ever be named who did so many good works as the apostle Paul. But did he ever glory in them as if they were in the least meritorious and could save his soul? Never! Never for one moment!

“…Who is there among the readers of this book that trusts in his church membership for salvation? Who values himself on his baptism, his attendance at the Lord’s Table, his church attendance on Sundays, or his daily services during the week and says to himself, ‘What do I lack?’ Learn today that you are not like Paul. Your Christianity is not the Christianity of the New Testament. Paul would not glory in anything but the cross. Neither should you…

“Work for God and Christ with heart and soul and mind and strength, but never dream for a second of placing confidence in any work of your own” (ch. 1).

Everything that reveals our weakness is an opportunity to remember God’s perfect strength. Even our abilities and strengths will come to an end sooner or later, but His never will. That way God is the One to get all the glory, which is the way it’s supposed to be.

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in Me” (John 15:4).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

In the Desert

Recently I’ve been watching my DVDs of Star Trek: The Next Generation. In one episode, Data meets Spock and comments on the fact that Spock has spent his life trying to suppress his human side and the emotions that go with that, while Data has been trying to become more human and wishes to experience emotions. I’d have to say I would usually agree with Spock on this one. In my experience, emotions most often represent a loss of control and are usually undesirable. That’s one of the reasons that I find depression hard to cope with. I don’t like feeling out of control, like I could start crying at all kinds of inconvenient times.

I just came across these comments in A Praying Life, by Paul E. Miller (57-58):

“In fact, God wanted me depressed about myself and encouraged about his Son. The gospel uses my weakness as the door to God’s grace. That is how grace works... John Landsburg [Landsberg], a sixteenth-century Catholic monk, summarized this well in his classic A Letter from Jesus Christ....

‘...In fact I don’t want you to rely on your own strength and abilities and plans, but to distrust them and to distrust yourself; and to trust me and no one and nothing else. As long as you rely entirely on yourself, you are bound to come to grief. You still have a most important lesson to learn: your own strength will no more help you to stand upright than propping yourself on a broken reed. You must not despair of me. You may hope and trust in me absolutely. My mercy is infinite.’”

It is an uncomfortable truth that God doesn’t want us to be stronger, but weaker. He doesn’t need us strong enough to do His work, but weak enough to let Him do His work for us and through us. I heard a radio spot on Judges 6 where Gideon is told, “Go in the strength you have,” not in the strength he didn’t have. In the next chapter, God intentionally weakened the army down to 300 men so that He alone would get the credit. In 2 Corinthians 11:30 and 12:9-10, Paul boasts in his own weaknesses because they display God’s strength.

Our culture values the strong, independent, assertive, and self-controlled. God values the poor, meek, thirsty, and sorrowful who know they need His strength (Matthew 5:3-12). The strong don’t really need God. The weak know they can’t live without Him.

Even though I’ve contended with depression most of my life, I hate when it flairs up and leaves me feeling weak and vulnerable. My pride kicks in and says, “You aren’t supposed to feel this way. You should be able to hold it together. You can’t let others know you still have this struggle.” This is an arid place to dwell.

Miller draws on the many stories of the desert in Scripture:

“The hardest part of being in the desert is that there is no way out. You don’t know when it will end. There is no relief in sight... The still, dry air of the desert brings the sense of helplessness that is so crucial to the spirit of prayer. You come face-to-face with your inability to live, to have joy, to do anything of lasting worth... The desert becomes a window to the heart of God. He finally gets your attention because he’s the only game in town... The best gift of the desert is God’s presence” (184-185).

Life can often feel like a desert—empty, lonely, fruitless. But God takes pleasure in making the desert bloom, bringing life to lifelessness. That is a reason for hope and perseverance.

“The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad; the desert shall rejoice and blossom like the crocus; it shall blossom abundantly and rejoice with joy and singing” (Isaiah 35:1-2 ESV).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Preserve, Protect and Defend

I suppose it is due to election season that I have had the presidential oath of office running through my mind lately. It says in part “I… will to the best of my ability preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Leaving politics aside, those are interesting verbs to hang your hat on. While a person may attempt to do those things to the best of their ability, God can and will preserve, protect, and defend His people according to His perfect will and ability. The Psalms in particular highlight these roles of God.

• Psalm 37:28- “For the Lord loves justice; He will not forsake His saints. They are preserved forever, but the children of the wicked shall be cut off.”
• Psalm 145:20- “The Lord preserves all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy.”
• Psalm 68:5- “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation.”
• Psalm 91:14- “Because he holds fast to Me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows My name.”
• Psalm 4:8- “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

That is much more encouraging than any human oath could ever be. His protection may not look quite like we may think, but it will always be the best way.

God’s authority and ability can also guide the way we pray. A couple verses have been part of my prayers recently:

• Psalm 119:133- “Keep steady my steps according to Your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.”
• Psalm 141:3- “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”

It has been my experience that praying for God’s protection from temptation is far more effective than praying for deliverance once temptation is at the door. It’s a bit like keeping a car on the road rather than trying to correct once you’re already off the road. There are no promises of protection for those who willfully turn away from God’s guidance.

I’m reminded of Proverbs 3:5-6, and it seems to me that a large part of the trusting in, leaning on, and acknowledging the Lord is an ongoing awareness of how desperately we need Him to preserve, protect, and defend us. We can so quickly turn away from His paths when we trust in our own strength and knowledge. Going back to the driving metaphor, an intoxicated driver doesn’t even realize how badly he is driving. He thinks he is fine. God watches us weaving back and forth and He waits for us to realize how far off the road we’ve gotten into temptation and sin.

This awareness has definitely changed the way I have been praying in the past year or so, and I’m sure will continue to do so. Since God can do far more than we ask or imagine, it’s time to start asking and imagining bigger. He is more than willing to preserve, protect, and defend those who seek Him earnestly.

© 2016 Dawn Rutan. 

Who Gets the Glory?

I’ve spent several days in Ephesians 1 lately, and I noticed that Paul makes frequent references to God’s glory:

• 6- “…to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved” (ESV).
• 12- “…so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of His glory.”
• 14- “…who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory.”
• 18- “…what are the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints.”

Since God’s glory is the reason for our election, sanctification, and future hope, how then do we live “to the praise of His glory”? In a sermon on Ephesians 1, John Piper commented “God adopted us in our unworthiness to make His glory look great.” God’s glory is displayed in the grace and mercy that He extends to unworthy people.

I wonder if we in the church have forgotten what it is that glorifies God the most? We look for numerical growth, relational depth, pursuit of spiritual disciplines, etc. All of those are good things that can glorify God, but are they the primary thing? Perhaps we need to be looking for people who are weak enough and desperate enough to say “I can’t do this on my own; only Christ can do it in me.” Maybe God’s glory is better seen in our humility and weakness than in our strength and progress. We are small, weak, dependent, and faltering, but His strength is perfect.

Jesus said, “Apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Paul was told, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). Paul also wrote, “For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men” (1 Corinthians 1:25). Why is it then that we are so reluctant to expose our weakness, either individually or as a body? Is God glorified more by the perfect record of a person who is no longer tempted in a particular way, or by one who falls periodically but is learning to depend on God for grace and mercy? Jesus said, “There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance” (Luke 15:7).

And in the Body, why do we compare church size and programs as a measure of our worth? Is God not glorified more by a small group of people who are relying on Him desperately than by a large group who can get along without His intervention? I’m reminded of Gideon and the army that God pared down to 300 warriors “lest Israel boast over Me, saying ‘My own hand has saved me’” (Judges 7:2).

Pride can trip us up every time. As individuals we want to appear like we have it all together, like we’ve overcome sin and have no faith struggles. As churches we think that growing numbers and visible activities are signs of vitality. But what do we really have to boast about? God is the One who saved us, and He’s the One who causes us to grow in faith. We were dead, but He made us alive in Christ (Ephesians 2:5). When our faith fails, He remains faithful (2 Timothy 2:13).

 “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9b).

© 2016 Dawn Rutan.