Conflicting Feelings

If there were one historical figure (not including those mentioned in the Bible) that I could invite to speak at my church sometime, I might choose John Newton. Probably most Christians know that he was a slave trader turned cleric and abolitionist, and the author of “Amazing Grace.” I just came across another hymn that he wrote:

Conflicting Feelings

Strange and mysterious is my life.

What opposites I feel within!

A stable peace, a constant strife;

The rule of grace, the power of sin:

Too often I am captive led,

Yet daily triumph in my Head [Christ].

I prize the privilege of prayer,

But oh! what backwardness to pray!

Though on the Lord I cast my care,

I feel its burden every day;

I seek His will in all I do,

Yet find my own is working too.

I call the promises my own,

And prize them more than mines of gold;

Yet though their sweetness I have known,

They leave me unimpressed and cold

One hour upon the truth I feed,

The next I know not what I read.

I love the holy day of rest,

When Jesus meets His gathered saints;

Sweet day, of all the week the best!

For its return my spirit pants:

Yet often, through my unbelief,

It proves a day of guilt and grief.

While on my Savior I rely,

I know my foes shall lose their aim,

And therefore dare their power defy,

Assured of conquest through His name,

But soon my confidence is slain,

And all my fears return again.

Thus different powers within me strive,

And grace and sin by turns prevail;

I grieve, rejoice, decline, revive,

And victory hangs in doubtful scale:

But Jesus has His promise passed,

That grace shall overcome at last.

***

I think that sometimes we in the church, especially those who have been Christians for many years, may tend to give others the impression that we no longer struggle with sin. Some may be judgmental toward others whose sins are more public. Our sins may not be as evident, but we all still have them. Newton’s hymn illustrates how easily we slide into unbelief, no matter how much faith we may exercise at other times.

There are some hymns that I don’t like to sing, because they give the false impression that true Christians can overcome every doubt and sin in this life (for example “Since I’ve Learned to Trust Him More” by Francis Blackmer). On the other hand, I don’t want to give my sin more weight than it should have, because I know that all my sins—past, present, and future—were carried to the cross and forgiven by Jesus’ blood. Newton seems to strike the right balance between “This is my experience, but this is what is true of me in Christ.” Near the end of his life he said, “I remember two things very clearly: I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.”

The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans, “So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (6:11-12). But a chapter later he said, “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (7:18b-19). If even Paul had this struggle, can we be any better? We all need reminders that we are great sinners, but Christ is a great Savior.” We can proclaim along with Paul, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!” (8:1). His grace, mercy, and love will have the final word in our lives.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever” (Psalm 136:1).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan text and photo. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Thoughts on Luke 2-4

I had written the following devotions for publication elsewhere, but they didn’t end up being printed due to a complication.

Looking for Jesus - Luke 2

This chapter of Scripture is probably quite familiar because we hear parts of it every Christmas. What more is there to learn from it? Consider what the main characters have in common. When the shepherds saw the angels, they immediately went in search of the baby who was proclaimed to be the Savior. In Jerusalem, Simeon was waiting at the Temple because “it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ” (v. 26 ESV). Anna too “did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day” (v. 27). We also learn of Joseph and Mary that they “went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover” (v. 41). And finally, Jesus Himself said, “Did you not know that I must be in My Father’s house?” (v. 49). Each of them sensed an urgent need to pursue their faith and to go where they knew they would meet with God.

Church buildings today are not the house of God in the same way that the Temple was, but they are places set aside for the people of God to meet together. Do we have that same sense of urgency about gathering together for worship and fellowship? In many churches, the pandemic revealed that the faithful remained faithful while the marginal dropped away. Many of us grew up going to church every time the doors were open, and we have kept that habit because we see the need for it. It’s easy to make excuses not to do things if we don’t think they’re necessary. The question is, have we discipled the next generation to see the need for regular gathering with the Body of Christ?

“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers… And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God” (Acts 2:42, 46-47a).

Moving On - Luke 3

John the Baptist apparently raised a lot of curiosity. Crowds came out to be baptized by him, and at least some who were present were rebuked for hypocrisy. He told the people to “bear fruit in keeping with repentance” (v. 8 ESV), and he gave them examples of generosity, honesty, and compassion. He baptized with water, but proclaimed the coming Messiah who would “baptize you with the Holy Spirit” (v. 16). There was a definite limit to John’s ministry. He could only point people to the coming Savior. He could not save them.

Likewise today, pastors and church members cannot save anyone, they can only direct people to the Savior. They can point out sin, commend good works, and baptize with water, but only Jesus Christ can save with the power of the Holy Spirit. There are many people who have been baptized without ever really believing in Jesus as Savior and following Him as Lord.

The author of Hebrews wrote, “Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, and of instructions about washings, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment” (Heb. 6:1-2). In essence, John the Baptist’s job was to lay the foundation, to “prepare the way of the Lord” so that “all flesh shall see the salvation of God.” Now that Jesus has provided the way of salvation, we need to press on toward maturity in Christ for ourselves and our churches, building on the foundation that has already been laid.

“Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all His energy that He powerfully works within me” (Col. 1:28-29).

Priorities - Luke 4

Jesus inaugurated His ministry by reading from Isaiah, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor” (vv. 18-19 ESV). The people of Nazareth evidently thought this was good news for their town and they marveled at His words. But they changed their minds when He refused to heal the people there, and they ran Him out of town.

He did heal many people in many places, and that was one proof of His identity. John later reported the Pharisees’ words, “Never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a man born blind” (John 9:32). Physical healing was never Jesus’ primary purpose. “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose” (v. 43). For Jesus, eternal life is far more important than health in this life.

There has long been a misconception that missions must meet the physical needs of people before they will be willing to listen to anything spiritual. That is belied when people in third world countries quickly accept the gospel while those in prosperous countries see no need for any form of religion. If we lose our focus, we can spend a lot of time and money and never get around to pointing people to Jesus. That’s not to say that hunger and illness don’t matter. Christian nonprofits provide all kinds of services that government agencies simply can’t do. We just need to be clear about what God has called us to as individuals, churches, and denominations. How can we best love God and love our neighbors with the resources we have?

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; whoever comes to Me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in Me shall never thirst’” (John 6:35).

 

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Crumbs of Manna

As I’m reading through Exodus again this spring, I started thinking about the Israelites gathering manna six days a week for the duration of their wilderness wanderings. How long did it take them each morning to pick up about two quarts of the fine flakes for each person? (Multiply that by the 600,000 men plus women and children mentioned in Exodus 12:37!) Certainly, there was grumbling about the inconvenience and lack of variety, along with groaning about aching backs.

The manna foreshadowed Jesus. “I am the Bread of Life; whoever comes to Me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in Me shall never thirst” (John 6:35). The Israelites couldn’t just stock up for a month or stop gathering the manna. They needed the daily grace of God’s provision for them. We too need God’s grace every day for forgiveness, sanctification, and maturity. Jesus taught us to pray for our “daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). We receive God’s provision through Jesus’s death on the cross and His intercession for us, as well as through Scripture, prayer, and gathering with the Body of Christ on a regular basis. We can’t just accept Christ as Savior and expect to live and grow in our faith any more than we could eat one meal and expect it to last a lifetime. The provision is there if we will make the effort to gather it.

It’s curious that Exodus reports, “They gathered [manna], some more, some less. But when they measured it with an omer, whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack” (16:17-18). This is reminiscent of Jesus’s miraculous feeding of five thousand with five loaves and two fish in John 6, the act that preceded His statement that He is the Bread of Life. The crowd followed Him because they wanted to be filled without expending any effort and without understanding that Jesus wanted to give them something far better than daily sustenance.

In our consumer-oriented society, how often do we settle for a few fringe benefits of faith rather than digging deep for our daily nourishment from the Bread of Life? How many in our churches expect to be spoon fed when (or if) they show up?

Let us press on to maturity, “for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil” (Hebrews 5:13-14). Let’s make it our constant practice to gather manna daily from God’s word and through interaction with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but My Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world” (John 6:32-33).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Coming of Age

Ed Stetzer wrote in Christians in the Age of Outrage:

“The rise of podcasts, social media, and online streaming can leave the impression that we are actually being discipled by the leaders we follow. For sure, leaders who excel in these formats can help foster our discipleship growth, particularly in locations or circumstances where there are few alternatives. However, we need to understand that these resources are at best supplemental to our spiritual discipleship. Discipleship is necessarily embodied; that is, discipleship is an exchange or dialogue between Christians. It is a personal investment on the part of mature believers in others with the overarching purpose of equipping them for righteous living and Kingdom ministry (Ephesians 4:12)” (ch. 7).

In this time of ongoing social distancing, many have recognized the deficiencies of virtual meetings and classrooms, and online sermons and Bible studies. Those things are all fine as far as they go, but they don’t replace in person discipleship.

I was thinking back to when I started college. I considered myself a fairly strong Christian, and I chose to go to a Christian college. Once I was there I was able to connect with Christians from a wide variety of backgrounds. Not only did the classes teach us to think through our beliefs more clearly, but the professors modeled Christian life, encouraged us, and prayed for us. Fellow students challenged one another to study the Bible, memorize Scripture, and remain accountable in times of temptation. It was through close discipling relationships that I came to understand God’s grace and mercy toward us. And it was through those relationships that I found encouragement and help in difficult times.

I can’t imagine how different my life would be if I had not been living on campus but had done all my coursework online. I would not have some of the friendships that are still important to me almost three decades later. (Where did the time go?!) I would not have connected with the people that led me to my current job, ministry, home, and church. I would not have wrestled with my faith in the same ways, and as a result my faith would be much weaker than it is.

As school systems, universities, and churches are all sorting through the challenges of teaching in the midst of a pandemic, we all need to remember that education is not just about conveying knowledge. Preparing students for life takes more than a talking head on a screen. And preparing Christians for ministry takes even more interpersonal connections. We all know that to be true, but we may tend to downplay its significance when it’s difficult to overcome obstacles.

“While the world struggles with the where, who, and why of moral education and formation, the church should be Christians’ source of teaching on forming life-giving habits. The Christian community is built around the concept of discipleship but many churches have not thought about how to teach proper discipleship practices in this digital world” (Stetzer, ch. 2).

The author of Hebrews wrote that “solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil” (Heb. 5:14 ESV). Maturity doesn’t happen in isolation. I suspect that many parents would say that social isolation has often revealed the immaturity of their children in recent weeks. I can say with certainty that whatever spiritual maturity I have is a result of relationships with those who have taught me, questioned me, challenged me, encouraged me, and even rebuked me when needed.

What will be the impact of current events on the future faith of today’s youth? How can we build and maintain the kind of discipling relationships that we all need? How much time and effort are we willing to invest for good of the Kingdom?

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Think

This Sunday in Sunday school we were talking about learning as a spiritual discipline, then this week I’ve been reading a few books that go along well with that theme: Think: The Life of the Mind and the Love of God, by John Piper; Good to Great in God’s Eyes, by Chip Ingram; and If I Had Lunch with C.S. Lewis, by Alister McGrath. Piper makes the following comment in regard to “anti-intellectual impulses” within the church:

“If we were to succeed in raising a generation of people who give up serious, faithful, coherent thinking, we will have raised a generation incapable of reading the Bible… The problem with those who debunk the gift of thinking as a way of knowing God is that they do not spell out clearly what the alternative is. The reason is that there isn’t one. If we abandon thinking, we abandon the Bible, and if we abandon the Bible we abandon God” (123).

Ingram urges believers to “think great thoughts” and “read great books” that help us to understand Scripture, meditate on it, and apply it to our lives. One author quoted by McGrath wrote of C.S. Lewis, “Rational argument does not create belief, but it maintains a climate in which belief may flourish.”

It seems in many churches that members don’t feel any need for spiritual nourishment outside of an hour or two on Sunday morning. Something I listened to recently (I forget who it was) made the claim that churchgoers are receiving too many messages with no chance to apply them. Maybe that was true when the primary social activities of a community revolved around the church—Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday night, etc. Barna Research states, “Regular attenders used to be people who went to church three or more weekends each month—or even several times a week. Now people who show up once every four to six weeks consider themselves regular churchgoers.”

So I doubt that these folks are hearing too many messages for them to apply. I believe the real problem is that people don’t want to have to think. They want to be spoon-fed a simple message that does not challenge them to consider how they should respond. They will forget the message as soon as they leave the pew, and won’t think about their faith until the next Sunday morning when they decide whether to go to church or not.

That’s a mindset I can’t really understand. In addition to being raised in the church, I’ve spent about 9 years in formal education at Christian colleges and seminaries, and much of my free time since then has been spent in reading and study of a wide variety of Christian books. The more I read and learn, the more I want to learn and the more I want to truly know God. I shared this quote recently on Facebook:

“A real Christian’s hunger may begin slowly, but it will grow over time, so that by the end of life a real Christian is hungrier than ever for God. By contrast, someone who is not real may have hunger that starts off strong, but it will diminish over time, so that eventually this person is less hungry for God, if at all” (Todd Wilson, Real Christian).

I’m afraid that’s what has happened to a lot of church members. At one time they realized a need for God, but they haven’t fed that need with the solid food of the Word and have gradually lost interest. Apathy has set in and they are satisfied with occasional appearances at church services to maintain the illusion of real faith. I wonder how many will hear those terrifying words, “Depart from Me, I never knew you” (Matthew 7:23). I don’t want that to happen to any of the people I love. I want us all to be confident that He knows us and that we are seeking to know Him as well as we are humanly able.

"And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." –Matthew 12:30 ESV