Out of the Depths

As I write this, I’m in an emotional pit created by a combination of sleepless nights, chronic depression, seasonal depression, and situational depression. In the midst of this, I started reading Embodied Hope: A Theological Meditation on Pain and Suffering, by Kelly Kapic. Although he writes from the perspective of those dealing with physical suffering, much of what he says can be applied to almost any situation. From the back cover, “Too often the Christian attitude toward suffering is characterized by a detached academic appeal to God’s sovereignty, as if suffering were a game or a math problem.” I would describe the book as an appeal to Christians to comfort those who mourn, not with theological treatises or vague platitudes, but by coming alongside the sufferer and entering into their pain. Following are some quotes:

“Even if we had in hand a theodicy [theology reconciling God’s goodness and our pain] that made sense, such dispassionate philosophical explanations leave us empty when we walk in the fire and ashes of genuine suffering. While there is a time to carefully dissect these philosophical problems, that time is not normally with those who are suffering” (ch. 2).

“Claims to provide the reason for a specific experience of suffering abound: divine discipline, for the purpose of church renewal, to bring a watching nurse or neighbor to salvation, or to foster personal humility. Unfortunately, all these claims are made without the true knowledge of exactly why something is happening. Even if these suggestions contain an element of truth, we are not in a position to unpack the mind of God regarding such mysteries… Such explanations assume that some good outcome can nullify or justify the pain, but this is not so. A tragedy is still a tragedy; pain is still pain, even if some insight is gained in the process” (ch. 2).

“Each person is coming from a different circumstance, with specific challenges and needs, with individual strengths and temptations. Part of loving well is figuring out what response is needed and appropriate in a given circumstance (see Jude 22-23). This is where theological instincts and pastoral wisdom come together. To be pastoral does not mean earning money for working in a church… Pastoral in this sense refers to the ability to give wise counsel, to know how to love well, provide necessary guidance, and in the end to help a fellow believer flourish under God’s grace and love” (ch. 2).

Even as our hearts can be prone to question, filled with dread and doubt, let us take confidence that our God personally understands us, not hypothetically but concretely in Christ. Jesus wept tears, for in and through his incarnate life he had fully entered into the drama of fallen human experience. His ache and struggle give new meaning to our tears and suffering: God cares about our sin and distress so much that he enters into it himself” (ch. 7).

“Living within this story means that we strengthen our weakened sisters and brothers by drawing them to and reminding them of the word, presence, and action of the triune God, becoming avenues of God’s grace and mercy… The Christian life requires not an individual but a people—the people of God. Only together can we believe, hope, and love amid our struggles” (ch. 9).

“Amid such difficult seasons of life, [Martin] Luther understood that the fog of doubt often obscures the believer’s vision: accordingly, the taunts of hell often grow louder during those periods. He recognized this because he lived it himself… He wrote, ‘I almost lost Christ in the waves and blasts of despair and blasphemy against God, but God was moved by the prayers of saints and began to take pity on me and rescued my soul from the lowest hell.’ Luther knew that in times of physical and emotional distress saints often struggle to believe and are afflicted with confused images of God and his work in the world. During such seasons the Christian leans heavily on the faith and prayers of other saints, for by them one is sustained or even ‘rescued’” (ch. 9).

“[Martin Lloyd-Jones and others] counseled their followers to preach to themselves and embrace the good news of Jesus and his kingdom. Still, the weakness of this prescription, taken by itself, is that it is overly individualistic, ignoring our nature as members of a larger body, and thus also inherently unstable when isolated. Lloyd-Jones’s assertion that ‘the main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself’ ignores the problem that we don’t always know how to handle ourselves, nor can we be trusted to handle ourselves. We need others” (ch. 10).

“Each case has its own distinct shape and needs its own response. But each of them brings its own real trauma. Each person will deal with it differently: some in silence, some in outbursts of rage, some with an athletic commitment to beat the grief, some with a sense of shame, and still others trying to discover a stoic detachment. What those who are trying to help do not always appreciate is that there is real power in simply walking with another person through that particular experience, bearing witness to the real challenges” (ch. 11).

“Witnessing one another’s pain also offers us the ability to find rest… When a friend shares my outrage I am actually quieted; I am allowed to rest, for someone else has taken up the concern. But if their response is ‘That is no big deal,’ and I am sure it actually is a big deal, then my irritation and frustrations grow rather than diminish. What I need is not for someone to tell me everything is okay; I need them to acknowledge that something is wrong—that I am not insane, but a real problem is at hand… The witness doesn’t actually make the pain go away, doesn’t actually fix everything, but I no longer feel isolated” (ch. 11).

“Christians with similar pains may have good things to say to their fellow sufferers. However, often what ends up happening is one person’s suffering trumps another’s, undermining the loss instead of offering true comfort… Why did such well-meaning offerings trigger in me a nasty train of thought? They were only trying to help… What I discovered was that suffering isn’t a contest, and comparing can often leave one person feeling guilty and the other bitter… However, even in our very similar circumstances, we must carry our sufferings to Christ” (ch. 11).

***

At various times I’ve experienced people theologizing, minimizing, avoiding, or giving the “Everything’s gonna be alright” speech. Those are the people I generally want to avoid. I’ve also experienced those who pray for me, ask genuine questions about my wellbeing, and quietly point to God’s loving care even while I express my doubts and fears. They may not be able to fully enter into the valley with me, but they aren’t just shouting at me from the mountaintop. As Kapic concludes chapter 10:

“May we, as the people of God, care for one another in love. May we truly be the body of Christ. May we confess our sins to one another, offering honesty, grace, and transformed lives. Let us love one another in grace and truth. We are sinners. We are under the cross. Here is our hope. May it be so.”

***

Listen to I Will Wait for You (Psalm 130) by Keith and Kristyn Getty.

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Book cover courtesy of Amazon.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

A Firm Foundation

A recent book, God’s Grace in Your Suffering, by David Powlison, is based on the hymn "How Firm a Foundation." This is a solidly biblical hymn from 1787 that is probably neglected in many churches, or may be sung with little thought given to the words. Much of the text comes directly from Isaiah 41:10 and 43:1-2. As I read through the book and meditated on the hymn, I have been particularly drawn to the third verse:

When through the deep waters I call you to go,
the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
for I will be with you, your troubles to bless,
and sanctify to you your deepest distress.

Powlison commented on this verse:

“God himself calls you into the deep waters. God sets a limit on your sorrows. God is with you, actively bringing good from your troubles. In the context of distressing events, God changes you… In other words, your significant sufferings don’t happen by accident. There’s no random chance. No purposeless misery. No bad luck. Not even (and understand this the right way) a tragedy. Tragedy means ruin, destruction, downfall, an unhappy ending with no redemption. Your life story may contain a great deal of misery and heartache along the way. But in the end, in Christ, your life story will prove to be a comedy in the original sense of the word, a story with a happy ending… Life, joy, and love get last say. High sovereignty is going somewhere… He is working so you know him, so you trust him, so you love him” (62-63).

We rarely can see God’s purposes while we’re in the midst of suffering. It is in hindsight that we start to see the good that God has brought out of difficult experiences. I’ve only recently begun to see some of the ways that God has used trouble from past decades not only to sanctify me but to open doors for me to encourage the struggling and to edify and exhort the church to protect the innocent and care for the wounded. Though the experiences in themselves were not holy, God has sanctified them for His good purposes. That doesn’t mean the struggles are any less difficult or painful, but I can learn to endure them with the hope that there is a purpose in them that will one day be revealed. The Apostle Paul’s words in Romans 8:18-39 and 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 point us to this purposeful hope in suffering:

“For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now… And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose… to be conformed to the image of His Son” (Rom. 8:22, 28, 29b ESV).

“If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we share” (2 Cor. 1:6).

In the midst of writing this post this week I listened to a podcast from The Allender Center that reminded me that when we are struggling with the difficulties and events of life it doesn’t really benefit us to keep it to ourselves or try to power through as if nothing is wrong. We need others in the Body of Christ to support and encourage us, and likewise, we need to do the same for them.

Powlison concluded his book with this thought:

“Finally, you are prepared to pose—and to mean—an almost unimaginable question: ‘Why not me? Why not this? Why not now?’ If in some way, your faith might serve as a three-watt night light in a very dark world, why not me? If your suffering shows forth the Savior of the world, why not me? If you have the privilege of filling up the sufferings of Christ? If he sanctifies to you your deepest distress? If you fear no evil? If he bears you in his arms? If your weakness demonstrates the power of God to save us from all that is wrong? If your honest struggle shows other strugglers how to land on their feet? If your life becomes a source of hope for others? Why not me? … If all that God promises only comes true, then why not me?” (116-117).

“A bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench; He will faithfully bring forth justice… I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness” (Isaiah 42:3, 6-7).

© 2019 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Meditation on Romans 8

Romans 8 has long been one of my favorite sections of the Bible. The following are some thoughts I’ve had this week.

1-4- “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

God does not condemn me because my life is hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3:3). He does not look on my sin but on Christ’s perfection. I have been set free from the condemnation of my sin, along with its power to trip me up. I don’t have to fulfill the law perfectly because Jesus already did. Condemnation from other people or from myself is out of place and has no ultimate weight.

5-11- “You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you.”

I confess I often do set my mind on the things of the flesh, but because I have the Holy Spirit, I am not obligated to the flesh. I have a choice where I will set my mind. When I do set my mind on the flesh, the result is fleshly—discontentment, discouragement, lust, pride, envy, etc. But when I set my mind on the things of God, the result is spiritually fruitful—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23).

12-13- “But if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.”

The flesh cannot and will not put itself to death. Fighting the desires of the flesh by my own strength will always fail. Only by the transforming power of the Spirit can those fleshly deeds and desires be killed.

14-17- “The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.”

I have been adopted into God’s family, and I have all the rights of the Son of God Himself. I need not fear my heavenly Father, but I can come to Him as a child with my needs, my desires, my weakness, and my failures.

18-21- “For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.”

This world is really messed up by sin. My sin, the sins of others against me, broken bodies and minds, death, destruction—one day it will all be cleaned up and made new. Till then I must wait and endure.

22-25- “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

I often get discouraged and impatient with my progress in sanctification. [Would I dare turn that sentence the right way around and say that I am discouraged with God’s progress in my sanctification?!] I keep thinking that I should be farther along, that I shouldn’t have these same struggles, that God expects better of me. When those same old temptations come along, pride tells me to try to rely on myself, while shame tells me I am already a failure just for being tempted. I groan with the seeming futility of this life, but I eagerly long for the day when all temptation, sin, and brokenness will be a thing of the past.

26-27- “The Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”

Without the intercession of the Spirit and the Son, I don’t know where I would be. I am certain that God has spared me from some moments of temptation that would otherwise have made me fall into sin. He has made a way of escape for me through Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 10:13).

28-30- “For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son.”

God’s will is my sanctification, but He has ordained that it will not be completed until the last day (Phil. 1:6). I will one day fully reflect the image of Christ, but until that day I will groan with the weight of this world.

31-34- “He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?”

God has already given me all I really need—salvation, forgiveness, the righteousness of Christ, adoption, a secure future, the promise of perfection one day, etc. If I feel I’m lacking something, I’m either mistaken or I’m being impatient about waiting.

35-37- “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

I often don’t feel like a conqueror. I feel weak and susceptible. But Christ has won the victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil. Even if I lose a battle, the war is not lost—it’s not time to give up, but to recoup to fight another day. The Commander sees what I cannot see—that the end of all battles is very near, and the verdict has already been determined.

38-39- “[Nothing] will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

And for that I give thanks.

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Take Heart

In my “year in Romans 8” I just made a new connection. Verse 15 (ESV) says, “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry ‘Abba! Father!’” I suddenly wondered, since Paul has spent several chapters talking about flesh vs. spirit why didn’t he say “you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into sin”? Going back to 6:16-18, he wrote,

“Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are the slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.”

So the short answer to the question is that Christians are in fact set free from the slavery of sin. Paul reiterates this in 8:9, “You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to Him.”

We also need to remember chapter 7 and Paul’s extended commentary that “I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (v. 19). Even the great, miraculously converted, Apostle Paul struggled with sin. A few theologians try to say that this chapter refers to his pre-conversion struggle, but there is no evidence for this. After all, Paul wasn’t struggling when he actively participated in the persecution of Christians. He said of himself, “as to righteousness under the law, blameless” (Philippians 3:6). His wrestling with the flesh was a reality even when he understood and preached the grace of God.

So then why does Paul say “slavery to fall back into fear”? John explains that in 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” If you put Paul and John together, you don’t just have half the Beatles. What you have is a reminder we all need at times:

Christians, though we are free from slavery to sin, we still wrestle with it and fall into it. The difference is that we no longer need to fear God’s punishment because we are His beloved children. His love and forgiveness are lavished upon us, and we can turn back to Him every time we fail.

I’ve started reading The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas à Kempis, and he had some good thoughts on the problem of temptation:

“When a man of good will is afflicted, tempted, and tormented by evil thoughts, he realizes clearly that his greatest need is God, without Whom he can do no good. Saddened by his miseries and sufferings, he laments and prays. He wearies of living longer and wishes for death that he might be dissolved and be with Christ. Then he understands fully that perfect security and complete peace cannot be found on earth.” (Twelfth Chapter)

“So long as we live in this world we cannot escape suffering and temptation... No one is so perfect or so holy but he is sometimes tempted; man cannot be altogether free from temptation... Yet temptations, though troublesome and severe, are often useful to a man, for in them he is humbled, purified, and instructed. The saints all passed through many temptations and trials to profit by them, while those who could not resist became reprobate and fell away. There is no state so holy, no place so secret that temptations and trials will not come. Man is never safe from them as long as he lives, for they come from within us—in sin we were born. When one temptation or trial passes, another comes; we shall always have something to suffer because we have lost the state of original blessedness...

“We should not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but pray to God the more fervently that He may see fit to help us, for according to the word of Paul, He will make issue with temptation that we may be able to bear it. Let us humble our souls under the hand of God in every trial and temptation for He will save and exalt the humble in spirit...

“Some, guarded against great temptations, are frequently overcome by small ones in order that, humbled by their weakness in small trials, they may not presume on their own strength in great ones.” (Thirteenth Chapter)

We can draw encouragement even from temptation for several reasons:

1) The struggle proves we are Christians. Non-Christians don’t struggle with sin because they don’t recognize it as sin. “If it had not been for the law, I would not have know sin” (Romans 7:7).

2) The struggle shows if we are growing in Christ. Our enemy doesn’t want us to grow, and wants to cause us to despair, so he turns up the heat. “Consider Him who endured from sinners such hostility against Himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood” (Hebrews 12:3-4).

3) The struggle reminds us of our weakness and humility. While we don’t know if Paul was specifically referring to sin as his thorn in 2 Corinthians 12:9, it is still true that “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”

4) The struggle reminds us to turn to God. If there were no battles, we would not need Him as our Defender and our Refuge. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

5) The struggle spreads God’s comfort to us, and through us to others. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). [I wouldn’t be writing this blog if I had not recently experienced it.]

6) The struggle reminds us of what is truly important. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world” (1 Peter 5:8-9).

7) And one day the struggles will be over and God will be glorified. “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever” (1 Peter 5:10-11).

So take heart, brothers and sisters in Christ, in the world we will have tribulation, but He has overcome the world (John 16:33).

“The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with Him in order that we may also be glorified with Him” (Romans 8:16-17).


© 2015 Dawn Rutan.

Solid Promises

There is a verse that comes to mind frequently and it happened to be in my Bible reading this week: “The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; Your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of Your hands” (Psalm 138:8 ESV and a similar verse in Psalm 57:2). This is both comforting and challenging at the same time. It’s comforting because:

• God will fulfill His purpose. It all depends on God, not me.
• His purpose is directly tied to His steadfast love, which never changes.
• It is His work and He will complete it. He will provide and enable all that is necessary for His purpose to be fulfilled.

But it’s challenging because God’s purpose is not always the same as my purpose. I don’t always know or trust what His purposes are. If my purpose doesn’t line up with His, I will keep being frustrated when it gets blocked or derailed. And when I don’t understand His purpose, it’s hard to make sense of the difficulties that come along.

One of the challenges I have is that I’m very much a black and white thinker. And while that serves me well as an accountant, it doesn’t work out so well in the rest of my world. Most situations have numerous shades of grey that depend on what other people are thinking, how they perceive a situation, and how things are communicated (among other things). So when any of those things don’t line up with my way of thinking, I get confused, frustrated, angry, and hurt, and it takes a long time to work it out and get over it. Many different decisions may be good options without being clearly the best.

I’m thankful that much of Scripture is black and white. (The only grey areas I can think of are directly related to modern interpretations of the original writers’ intentions.) The Old Testament Law says “Do this; don’t do that.” The New Testament says, “This road leads to life and blessing; that road leads to death.” And throughout Scripture are God’s ironclad promises: “I will never leave you or forsake you; I will fulfill My purposes; The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; In returning and rest you shall be saved, in quietness and trust shall be your strength; I will come again and take you to Myself, that where I am there you may be also.”

While there is much in life that is disappointing, depressing, and discouraging, God’s plans, purposes, and promises can be counted on. Some things never change.

“This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your promise gives me life” (Psalm 119:50).