Amateurs!

According to Dictionary.com, amateur originates from the Latin word for lover and means:

1. a person who engages in a study, sport, or other activity for pleasure rather than for financial benefit or professional reasons.
2. an athlete who has never competed for payment or for a monetary prize.
3. a person inexperienced or unskilled in a particular activity.
4. a person who admires something; devotee; fan.

In Luke 7:36-50, Jesus was invited to the home of a Pharisee for dinner. The Pharisees were the religious “professionals,” who worked hard to keep all the commandments and added more commandments just to be on the safe side. During the meal a woman who was known to be a sinner (often assumed to be a prostitute, but the Bible doesn’t say that) comes and washes Jesus’ feet with her tears and wipes them with her hair. Jesus uses her example to point out, “her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little” (v. 47). This woman, who was considered a religious amateur because of her lack of obedience to the law, was held up as an example to the professionals because of her love.

Growing up in churches of various denominations (because we moved frequently), I got the impression that Christianity was about obeying the laws of the Old Testament, especially the Ten Commandments. I knew from a young age that I was a sinner in need of repentance. I don’t remember ever hearing a clear presentation of the Gospel message—that we can never perfectly obey God’s standards and that is why Jesus came to die for us, so that by believing in Him we could be made right with God and considered holy in God’s eyes. Up until college, as far as I knew it was all up to me to be as good as I could and to confess my sins and hope that God would let me off the hook one more time.

I worked hard to be a professional Christian, not knowing that Jesus Christ is more interested in amateurs—those who know they can’t live up to the perfect standard but follow Him out of love. Even years later I find myself thinking “I should be better than this by now.” To paraphrase Brennan Manning’s words, “God expects more failure from you than you expect from yourself.”

In 1 John 4:19 we learn that “We love because He first loved us.” Working backward in that chapter, His love casts out fear of punishment (v. 18), we can have confidence before God (v. 17), we abide with Him daily (v. 16), and we love others with the same kind of love (vv. 7-12). When Jesus was asked to name the greatest commandment, He responded, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 22:37-40). Christian faith is not about trying harder to be perfect, but about loving the One who first loved us and letting His love flow in and through us.

There is no call for religious professionals in the Kingdom of God. We are all called to be amateurs—for the love of God. The Apostle Paul threw away his religious credentials “because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Phil. 3:8). Religiosity will tend to make us (like the Pharisees) think of ourselves more highly than we ought. But remembering that we are only saved because of God’s grace should make us grateful recipients and loving followers.

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that One has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised” (2 Cor. 5:14-15).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Before a Fall

It has become increasingly common for well-known pastors to make the news because of some questionable words or deeds. In some cases, it is secret sin that has been uncovered. In others it’s a series of poor choices that have resulted in people being hurt. Quite likely there has been some latent pride that created a lack of accountability and led to their downfall. Reputations have been tarnished, and Christians are left wondering whether they can trust anything that person has said or written during their career. I have books written by some of these men, and I have to weigh their value and decide if I’ll ever be able to read them again without being distracted by the author’s failures.

That’s not to say that failure outweighs every good thing a person has ever said or done. If that were the case, we’d all be in trouble. It is only by God’s grace that we have anything good to contribute to the Kingdom. The Apostle Peter had to be confronted for his hypocrisy (Galatians 2). The Apostle Paul was clear in stating his weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) and his imperfection (Philippians 3:12). Paul warned, “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” (James 3:1).

We see the results when people we have come to respect fail to live up to those high standards, but all of us are guilty of pride to one degree or another. A little bit of success or recognition and we may soon find ourselves thinking I did good, I am good. And if the success grows, those thoughts may turn into things like: I’ve got it all figured out. I don’t need any help or advice. No one can tell me what to do. They don’t understand the situation like I do. I can do what I want…

We often forget that “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18 ESV). Pride creates its own blind spot. We may not see it because we don’t really want to see it. Life seems far simpler when we can pass judgment on others without ever seeing the sin in our own hearts. Pride can manifest itself in many ways. It doesn’t always show as seeking the limelight, patting yourself on the back, or taking credit for what others accomplish. It may be a subtle or even blatant disregard for the opinions of others because of their age, gender, race, education, employment, or other factors. It could be ingratitude for what others have done, finding fault with their efforts, or many other variations. Pride is frequently at the root of other sins.

Grace and gratitude are two potent weapons against pride and its offspring. Scripture reminds us that our salvation and sanctification is by grace alone, so we have no reason for boasting (Romans 11:6, Ephesians 2:1-10). We are all great sinners in need of a great Savior. If we have a proper view of God’s grace and mercy to us, it is easier to view others in the same light. And similarly, when we are grateful for God’s many blessings to us, we become more grateful for other people as well.

We often have to start with actions and pray that our attitude will follow suit. If I make an effort to find reasons to be grateful for the people who are irritating me, I start becoming more thankful and patient with them. Humility, forgiveness, and thankfulness are all interrelated, as Paul wrote in Colossians:

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (3:12-17).

We probably all need some work in the area of humility, lest we find ourselves stumbling over the pride in our hearts. Thankfully, God is more than willing to change us from the inside out if we will let Him do so.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves… work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:3, 12-13).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Less Than

Lately God seems to be focusing my attention on the theme of humility. I wrote some about this back in November, but it has returned to center stage. Recently I read in Dennis Jernigan’s book Daily Devotions for Kingdom Seekers: “Humility keeps us supple and pliable in the hands of the Master Potter.” Not too long after that I started reading Andrew Murray’s book Humility. He wrote:

“Let him consider how all lack of love; all disregard for the needs, feelings, and weakness of others; all sharp and hasty judgments and words, so often excused under the plea of being outright and honest; all manifestations of temper, touchiness, and irritation; all feelings of bitterness and estrangement, have their root in nothing but pride, that only seeks itself.”

That really puts a point on things. Really thinking about the reasons behind our experiences of judgment, irritation, and frustration can reveal the painful truth of indwelling pride. We all tend to think our own time, work, abilities, and beliefs are more important or better than those of other people.

Murray goes on to say:

“…self has nothing good in it, except as an empty vessel which God must fill. Its claim to be or do anything may not for a moment be allowed. It is in this, above and before everything, in which the conformity to Jesus exists, the being and doing nothing of ourselves, that God may be all.”

We must be emptied of self in order to be filled with Christ.

“The root of all goodness and grace, of all faith and acceptable worship, is that we know we have nothing but what we receive, and bow in deepest humility to wait upon God for it.”

All good gifts that we have come from God. Why then do we boast (even if it is just inwardly) about what we have received (1 Cor. 4:7)?

“If humility is the root of the tree [as seen in Jesus], its nature must be seen in every branch, leaf, and fruit.”

We are to be abiding in Christ, and He embodied humility (Phil. 2:5-8), so we too should exemplify humility if we are being conformed to His image (Rom. 8:29).

“If we learn that to be nothing before God is the glory of the creature, we will welcome with our whole heart the discipline we may have in serving even those who annoy or irritate us... No place will be too low, no stooping too deep, and no service too miserable or lengthy, if we simply have the opportunity to share and experience the fellowship with Him who spoke, ‘I am among you as he that serves’ (Luke 22:27).”

Perhaps I’m the only one, but I know that pride is something that trips me up frequently. Yet humility doesn’t come from working harder to be humble. It comes only from focusing less on myself and more on my Savior. The more I seek Him and endeavor to obey what He calls me to do, the less I will be concerned about what anyone else may say or do or think about me.

“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned” (Romans 12:3 ESV).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Unplugged

I made the decision this week to delete the Facebook app from my phone, which will greatly curtail (though not eliminate) my use of Facebook. There were several good reasons to do so, some of which are as follows:

1) It is easy to waste vast amounts of time scrolling through hundreds of posts with varying degrees of importance. I could be spending that time in Scripture, prayer, writing, practicing piano, or many other more profitable pursuits.

2) It is dangerous to let one’s ego hang on public opinion. A negative comment, careless post, or an inappropriate image can quickly turn into a black cloud of anger, pride, shame, or other sins, and obscures the fruit of the Spirit. My identity is in Christ, not online.

3) It is human nature to make comparisons, and comparing the worst of what I know about myself with the best of what everyone posts online is sure to lead to negative thoughts. I don’t need to know about everyone else’s perfect family vacations when I’m sitting home alone.

4) Social media is predominantly superficial by its very nature. We all present the face we want the world to see. Yes, in some cases that may lead to deeper communication offline, but that is the exception rather than the rule.

5) Social media gives the illusion of intimacy where none exists. Knowing a few facts about someone or laughing at cat videos they’ve posted is not a relationship. The church already struggles to nurture authentic relationships, and social media is not helping. As Sam Allberry put it, friend has moved from being a noun to a verb meaning “to share one's contact details.” We’re still just as lonely and isolated as ever, we just have more things to distract us from recognizing that fact.

Bruce Hindmarsh said,

“Our spiritual condition is one of having spiritual ADD. We are more easily distracted from the important issues of our lives moment by moment. The nature of digital communication is that we are endlessly distracted.”

I don’t know if my decision will be long-term or not. Such resolutions tend to creep away over time. I just know it is the right thing to do right now. I know I can’t love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength when I am also wondering how many new comments there are to read or when I’m trying to think of amusing responses. I also can’t love my brothers and sisters in Christ well when I am annoyed with them for something they have posted or when I realize how little they know of who I really am beneath the surface.

I yearn for more intimate relationships with a few close friends and for closer communion with God. I haven’t seen that happen to any significant degree in however many years I’ve been on Facebook. Not that there haven’t been good things there—encouraging words, inspiring quotes, reasons to laugh, prayer requests and answers to prayer. Social media can be a good thing, but it is not an ultimate thing.

“I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:35 ESV).

© 2017 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Deflated

Last Sunday’s sermon included Mark 11:25 (ESV), “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses,” along with the question, who do you need to forgive? I confess that my first thought was “myself.” As I thought about it further, I realized that my problem was not unforgiveness but wounded pride. Guilt and shame feel a lot alike. One difference is that shame is not necessarily tied to any actual sin. Many of the things that plague me are not sins but mistakes or errors in judgment—giving an answer that is based on incomplete knowledge of the facts; not anticipating the impatience of angry drivers on busy roads; or misjudging someone’s intentions. In my imaginary world, I would always have perfect knowledge and therefore would always do what is best and would please everyone all the time. Even as I write that, I realize that God’s perfect knowledge and perfect actions still don’t please everyone, and I am far from being God.

In the midst of my ponderings, I read the following in Lysa TerKeurst’s book Uninvited:

“Anything that infuses us with humility is good. Even if it feels a bit like humiliation in the moment, the workings of humility within are a gift. The tweaking of us by God in the quiet is the saving of us in public. The only difference between humility and humiliation is that one chose to bow low while the other tripped and fell there. Either way, the sweetest grace lifted my face, and I saw that on the other side of the stripping of pride are some of the best gifts God gives us.

“The Bible reminds us that on the other side of humility we find wisdom (Proverbs 11:2). We will be lifted up by God Himself in due time (1 Peter 5:6). ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble’ (James 4:6 NLT). Humility isn’t a place of weakness but rather a position that will come with honor (Proverbs 18:12). And humility is an absolute requirement for those who ask God to heal their land (2 Chronicles 7:14)” (pp. 108-110).

Humility is one of those things that is mentioned often in Scripture but rarely discussed in the church. It’s not really something we are interested in pursuing, perhaps because we think of it as the opposite of pride. Tim Keller, in his helpful little book on 1 Corinthians 3:21-4:7, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, rightly criticizes the modern self-esteem theory.

“The person with the superiority complex is overinflated and in danger of being deflated; the person with an inferiority complex is deflated already... Deflated or in imminent danger of being deflated—it is all the same thing. And it makes the ego fragile... Trying to boost our self-esteem by trying to live up to our own standards or someone else’s is a trap. It is not an answer... [The] essence of gospel-humility is not thinking more of myself or thinking less of myself, it is thinking of myself less. Gospel-humility is not needing to think about myself.”

The answer according to the Apostle Paul is that God’s opinion is the only one that matters. “It is the Lord who judges me” (1 Cor. 4:4b). And as Keller puts it,

“Do you realize that it is only in the gospel of Jesus Christ that you get the verdict before the performance? … In Christianity, the moment we believe, God says, ‘This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased.’ … ‘Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.’ … You see, the verdict is in. And now I perform on the basis of the verdict. Because He loves me and He accepts me, I do not have to do things just to build up my resume. I do not have to do things to make me look good.”

I will be the first to admit that this is far easier said than done when the ego starts getting even slightly inflated. The Apostle John wrote, “For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:16-17). I’m striving to learn to welcome the little (or big) humiliations that remind me that I am weak but that I serve a strong God. It is indeed a gift of God to remember that He is in control and I’m not. And I need constant reminders that my identity is not determined by my competence at work, having all the right answers at the right times, pleasing everyone, or even my ability to resist some temptation. My identity is determined solely by my relationship with my Father in heaven, and His love for me is unchanging. Therefore I can say with Paul, “But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself” (1 Cor. 4:3).

“Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor” (Proverbs 18:12).

“But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble… Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you” (James 4:6,10; see also 1 Peter 5:5-6).

© 2017 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. 

Holy Messes

Recently I’ve been doing some study on autism spectrum disorder. (Psychology has long been an interest to me.) One thing that has stood out is that no one can really define what is “normal” and what is not. Is something a disorder if it doesn’t bother the person who has it? I came to the conclusion that whether you’re talking about mental health, physical health, or spiritual health, all of humanity is on one long continuum of brokenness. Some people may appear healthier than others; some may be better able to cope with the complexities of life, and some may seem more mature. But aside from Jesus Christ none of us are perfect in any way, no matter what Mary Poppins may claim for herself.

In Good News for Those Trying Harder, Alan Kraft discusses the beatitudes in Matthew 5 and particularly “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (5:3 ESV). He writes:

“Now most every Christian would agree this is where the spiritual life begins, but that is not what Jesus is saying. A quick read through the rest of these values reveals that these are not onetime events but are to be constantly experienced—mercy, peacemaking, humility, and brokenness. Jesus is inviting us to live every moment in a conscious awareness of how spiritually needy we are. He invites us to continually embrace and experience the melody of brokenness” (39).

His introduction clarifies:

“When we define spiritual growth as us becoming more like Christ, as us becoming less and less sinful, what we are actually pursuing is a spiritual growth path in which we need Jesus less and less. I need Him less today than yesterday, because the power of sin is not as strong in my life” (33).

He includes this quote from Thomas Moore: “Our depressions, jealousies, narcissism, and failures are not at odds with the spiritual life. Indeed, they are essential to it. When tended, they prevent the spirit from zooming off into the ozone of perfectionism and pride.”

The point is that God didn’t save us in order to wean us off our dependence on Him. Spiritual growth and maturity actually comes from relying on Him more fully over time. Although we have been saved from the power of sin, that freedom is realized as we learn to lean on God when the temptations come rather than trying to exercise our own willpower to get us through. We are all broken, sinners, weak and needy, and we will be until the return of Christ. When we start thinking we’ve got it all together, we run the risk of tripping over our own pride and self-sufficiency. As Paul said, “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12). That verse comes just before the reminder that God is the one who provides the way of escape from temptation and enables us to endure.

Like many (perhaps most) people I’ve sometimes wondered, “Why doesn’t God just fix this?” Whether it is a broken body, broken mind, or broken spirit, God certainly has the power to make it right. But in His perspective, there are things that are far more important than being “normal.” I’m convinced that He allows brokenness to remain in our lives to keep reminding us of how much we need Him.

We’re all messed up, but we don’t all recognize it. And even if we do recognize that we are broken, that knowledge can either drive us toward God or away from Him. We can either learn to depend on Him or we can get angry that He isn’t fixing the problem. It can also drive toward people or away from them. We can choose to be gracious toward those who are different from us (either “better” or “worse”), or we can be envious or arrogant. Obviously God’s desire is for us to love and trust Him and to extend the same love and grace to others. It’s pretty hard to do that if our definition of “normal” excludes people. The fact is we’re all abnormally normal.

I think when we do reach eternity we’ll be astounded to see what perfection actually looks like. Our earthly standards are so far off that we can’t begin to imagine. We judge Hitler for his conception of a master race, but our ideas of normalcy are only marginally better. When compared to God’s perfection, none of us has any claim to superiority.

“God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God” (1 Corinthians 1:28-29).