Strong and Weak

There’s a poem from Dietrich Bonhoeffer that I often remember, “Who Am I?” (You can read the whole poem here.) The gist of it is the question of whether he is the confident public persona he projects or the “contemptible woebegone weakling” that he experiences internally, or both at the same time. That’s probably a question we all face at times. (At least, I hope I’m not the only one!) We can be pretty good at portraying confidence and competence in certain areas of life while simultaneously feeling like idiots for our failures and weakness in other areas.

I’ve probably written before that pride and shame are two sides of the same coin. We all crave approval and affirmation, and we generally try to hide anything that makes us look bad. But then we read the words of the Apostle Paul in his letters to the Corinthian believers. He talks about boasting in the wrong things (2 Cor. 10:12-18), God using the weak and foolish to shame the wise (1 Cor. 1:26-31), and he concludes, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9b).

Throughout his letters, Paul refers to the strength that comes from God. He uses multiple Greek words that are sometimes translated establish or commit or empower, depending on what Bible translation you prefer. Here are just a few of his statements (Strong’s numbers noted):

• “[I pray] that according to the riches of His glory He may grant you to be strengthened [2901] with power through His Spirit in your inner being” (Eph. 3:16).
• “Finally, be strong [1743] in the Lord and in the strength [2904] of His might” (Eph. 6:10).
• “I can do all things through Him who strengthens [1743] me” (Phil. 4:13).
• “Being strengthened [1412] with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy” (Col. 1:11).
• “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established [950] in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (Col. 2:6-7).

Bonhoeffer makes the comment in a letter to Eberhard Bethge of July 16, 1944,

“Matt. 8:17 makes it quite clear that Christ helps us not by virtue of his omnipotence but rather by virtue of his weakness and suffering! This is the crucial distinction between Christianity and all religions… The Bible directs people toward the powerlessness and the suffering of God; only the suffering God can help.”

Our existence, our salvation, our sanctification, and our service are not by our own strength and abilities, but because of Christ alone. We can boast in our weakness because that is where His strength is revealed (2 Cor. 12:9a).

For me personally, it’s okay that I’m an accountant who’s bad at mental math. It’s okay that social interactions create anxiety and exhaustion. Sleepless nights should be a reminder that I’m not the one in control—God is (though that still doesn’t help me to sleep better). I’ve had a lot of reminders of my weakness lately and I, like many of us, need to remember God’s strength and sufficiency.

“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word” (2 Thess. 2:16-17).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

All the Rest

In a recent podcast from Gospel Bound, the comment was made that although God designed us for work and rest, we’ve traded those for toil and leisure. Work in the Garden of Eden was a good gift from God, but because of the Fall we now have to labor to accomplish what needs to be done.

The idea of a Sabbath rest is another good gift. When it is first mentioned in Exodus, Moses says, “Tomorrow is a day of solemn rest, a holy Sabbath to the Lord… The Lord has given you the Sabbath” (16:23, 29). Both there and in the Ten Commandments it is referred to as a “Sabbath to the Lord.” However, we tend to leave the Lord out of our plans for our leisure time. We define the Sabbath more by what we’re avoiding than by what we’re seeking. We aren’t working, so we’re supposedly observing the Sabbath.

We do similar things in how we think about sin. Tim Keller, in his devotion on Psalm 36:1-4 writes:

“Lord, I confess the foolishness of my thought life. Even when I am able to avoid overt thoughts of resentment, fear, and lust, my mind still does not fix itself on the most worthy and beautiful of things, and on you. God glory in my eyes, Lord, and incline my heart to yourself” (March 11).

How might it change our lives if we were determined to seek God, not just to avoid sin? What would be different if we were observing our Sabbaths “to the Lord” and not simply ceasing from our normal labors? I don’t think we have to get legalistic about what is allowed or not allowed. If our focus is on God, His Word, and His will, then our actions will naturally follow. And if we’re filling our minds with Christ, then sinful thoughts and actions will have no place.

I confess there are often times when I want nothing more than to vegetate and forget about all the challenges and anxieties of life and work. I think God understands that. If Jesus could sleep in a boat during a storm, He certainly understands being weary. But I know there are many times when I would be better off seeking God in prayer and dwelling on Scripture, if I’d just make the mental effort to do so.

Isaiah was told to proclaim, “If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on My holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight… then you shall take delight in the Lord…” (58:13-14). Those verses could just as well be reversed— “If you delight yourself in the Lord, then you will not follow your own pursuits but will enjoy a Sabbath rest.”

Are we willing to test that out?

“The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is lord even of the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27-28).

“A Song for the Sabbath. It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your steadfast love in the morning and Your faithfulness by night” (Psalm 92:1-2).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

24 / 6

During our regional Family Camp last week, we had a class discussing Matthew Sleeth’s book 24/6: A Prescription for Healthier, Happier Life, regarding our need for a regular Sabbath rest. It was interesting to hear the different perspectives on the feasibility of resting one day each week. Most of us in the world of employment, whether secular or church, find it hard to stop for a day each week. We spend 40+ hours in the office and the remainder of our time is spent catching up on the chores of home and family. But that was not God’s plan for us.

“The Ten Commandments were not a curse; rather, they gave freedom to those who possessed them. They defined the borders of the Hebrew world. Within those borders there was freedom—freedom under the law. We have a tendency to circumvent the intent of good laws, resulting in more rules being added. Sabbath was meant to protect the worker and to set the stage for a celebration of God. If our day of rest becomes a set of rules, then the celebration and the joy are easily subtracted” (39).

As I was thinking about our modern loss of Sabbath rest, I observed a few things from Scripture, some of which were mentioned in Sleeth’s book. God set the pattern for the Sabbath (Genesis 2:2) and reiterated it in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:11). He did not rest because He was tired but because He is holy. In the wilderness God sent manna only six days a week (Exodus 16:23-29). God provided for His people so that they could rest on the seventh day. God hasn’t changed. Will He not provide for us as well?

In the New Testament Jesus declared, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is lord even of the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27-28 ESV). Although Jesus ignored the Pharisaical additions to the law, He did not ignore the Sabbath. “As was His custom, He went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day” (Luke 4:16). Even many non-Christians will agree that Jesus was a good person and moral example, and yet those who are called by His name are often quick to ignore His example when it comes to the Sabbath.

But what came to mind and convicted me were a couple Scriptures from the early church:

“And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need” (Acts 2:44-45).

“He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God. For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God” (2 Corinthians 9:10-12).

Like most people probably do, I had always thought about these verses in terms of financial support and physical resources, but what if we expand it to include the resource of time? We each have 168 hours in every week, but how we use those hours varies tremendously from person to person. Some are frantically rushing from task to task, while others enjoy a leisurely pace. We may all be familiar with the 90/10 rule in churches and other organizations—that 90% of the work is done by 10% of the people. If Christians are all members of one body and “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:7ff), then shouldn’t we each be contributing our fair share of time? (Note that I did not say “equally,” because each member is unique.) If I have more flexibility in my time, are there ways I can help someone else who is struggling to keep up? Conversely, if I am falling behind in my commitments, who can I ask for help? What tasks am I doing that I’m not gifted for?

I’ve talked with people who work in their church’s nursery out of a sense of obligation, not joy, and it makes them miserable. I’ve also talked to pastors whose church members get offended if they aren’t present for every life event or if they try to share the load with their deacons or elders. It seems to me that if the Body of Christ were functioning as it is supposed to, we would all be able to take a weekly Sabbath rest. We’ve fallen into the trap of believing that ministry is the job of a few paid people, that what I do outside of the church building is my own business, and that my time is my own to do with as I please. We are all ministers (2 Corinthians 5:18-20). We are to love one another (Romans 12:10-11), serve one another (Galatians 5:13-14), and bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2). We are to be good stewards of the short time God has placed us on this earth, and He’s the one who told us that Sabbath rest is not only good but holy. How can we work together to make that possible for every member of our local body?

“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 4:10-11a).

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

© 2019 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Be Still

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10).

In your anxiety, be still and know and I am God.
In your sorrow, be still and know that I am God.
In your joy, be still and know that I am God.
In your frustration, be still and know that I am God.

In your stress, be still and know and I am God.
In your busyness, be still and know that I am God.
In your fatigue, be still and know that I am God.
In your pain, be still and know that I am God.

In your hardship, be still and know that I am God.
In your plenty, be still and know that I am God.
In your uncertainty, be still and know that I am God.
In your work, be still and know that I am God

In your home, be still and know that I am God.
In your leisure, be still and know that I am God.
In your church, be still and know that I am God.
In your country, be still and know that I am God.

When you wake, be still and know that I am God.
When you sit, be still and know that I am God.
When you stand, be still and know that I am God.
When you rest, be still and know that I am God.

When you talk, be still and know that I am God.
When you listen, be still and know that I am God.
When you eat, be still and know that I am God.
When you sing, be still and know that I am God.

I will be exalted in the heavens.
I will be exalted in the earth.
Be still and know that I AM.

—God

“Our place of safety is the embrace of the Savior… Blessed be any wind that blows us into the harbor of our Savior’s love! Happy the wounds that make us seek the beloved Physician”  -Charles Spurgeon

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Weary and Burdened

I read this last night in The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge, and it spoke to where I feel myself to be right now.

“‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest,’ says Jesus. Most of us think of spiritual progress as requiring us to do more, even as our heart cries out to us to lay our burdens down. We renew our efforts at Bible study, Scripture memory, and Christian service, fearing that we will be discovered in our weakness and need… So many of our contemporary churches operate on this same system of guilt. When our people are crying out for communion and rest, we ask them to teach another Sunday school class. When they falter under the load, we admonish them with Scripture on serving others. One wonders what would happen if all activity motivated by this type of guilt were to cease for six months. Much of organized Christianity would collapse even as the Pharisees saw happen to their own religious system” (168-170).

There’s a lot of truth to that. I wonder if many of us (individually and collectively) are simply trying to do too much? We see the struggles of our churches and ministries and we feel a vague sense of guilt about not being able to do all that we believe God has called us to do—from the “little” things like staffing the nursery to the bigger picture of evangelism, discipleship, etc. If it’s true that in many churches 10% of the people do 90% of the work, those 10% can easily burn themselves out trying to keep things going.

If Jesus has promised rest to those who come to Him, why does rest feel like a foreign concept? Why is exhaustion so close at hand? Why does guilt seem to be such a big motivator? Somehow I think we’ve imagined that the Apostle Paul’s description of his ministry is supposed to be ours as well: “by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger” (2 Corinthians 6:4-5; see also 11:25-29). I don’t know how Paul did it, but I don’t have the physical, mental, or emotional stamina to do even a fraction of what he did.

Today I read this in an article from John Piper:

“These illnesses may come, and we still win. The sickness may come, senility may come, and we still win. It is possible for the unhealthy to win the fight against unbelief because the fight is against lost hope, lost faith, not against lost health… The fight is a fight of faith. It’s not a fight to get out of bed; it’s a fight to rest in God. It’s not a fight to keep all the powers of youth, but to trust in the power of God. The race is run against doubt in God’s goodness and love for us. It’s a fight to stay satisfied in God despite the broken hips and lost sight and failed memory and inexplicable fatigue… The finishing line is crossed in the end not by a burst of human energy, but by collapsing into the arms of God. And by all means, let those of us who have any energy left remember that we are called upon to, as Paul says, ‘encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all’ (1 Thessalonians 5:14).”

So for all of us who feel weary and burdened by ministry and by life, I offer the encouragement that Jesus offered, “Come to Me and rest.” He didn’t say, “Come on, you can do five more tasks today, share the Gospel with one person every day, attend three more church events this week, and be the perfect parent, pastor, and teacher!” Jesus understands weariness. After all, He was the one who fell asleep in a boat in the midst of a storm.

It’s okay that “even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted” (Isaiah 40:30), because “The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary” (40:28). When we collapse into bed tonight, God is still in control. May we find rest in His embrace.

“My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth… He who keeps you will not slumber… The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore” (Psalm 121:2, 3, 8 ESV).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Just Rest

Last week I was on a spiritual retreat at the Billy Graham Training Center at the Cove. In talking with the others there, I was struck by the fact that many of us work until we drop, and we don’t actually rest until it is forced on us by the breakdown of our mental, physical, or spiritual health. It doesn’t matter whether we’re in some form of full-time ministry or not. From a CPA to an Air Force chaplain to a retired pastor, we were asking ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” We all seem to think we are too important and too busy to rest.

It also hit me that we don’t really know what spiritual rest is. We use our vacation time for visiting family, frantic trips to tourist destinations, or accomplishing projects we’ve put on the back burner. There’s nothing wrong with those things, but they aren’t restful. Even working in a ministry that has a fairly generous vacation policy, I find myself rationing out my days for the least interruption to work and the most efficient use of my time.

After a busy season of ministry, Jesus told His disciples, “‘Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while,’ for many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat” (Mark 6:31 ESV). Physical rest and leisure were on His agenda (though the crowds interrupted their plans). Luke reports that Jesus “would withdraw to desolate places and pray” (Luke 5:15). If Jesus needed regular retreats, don’t we? We can all recite Matthew 11:28: “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,” and yet we don’t actually take the time to get away with Him. A daily quiet time and weekly worship service is not enough to give rest to our souls.

There has been a movement to restore the concept of sabbaticals to the church, and that’s a good thing. However, even in churches where that does not seem possible, I would contend that pastors still need to schedule a regular time of spiritual renewal at least every year. Even if it is just one week away from the church and without any interruptions, they need to come away and rest and seek spiritual renewal. And I think all of us could benefit from making that a part of our annual routines.

As I’m about halfway through my sabbatical, I think the lesson I most need to learn is to just rest. On the first week of my sabbatical, someone asked me why it was being called a sabbatical and whether I was working on a project. I felt guilty that the honest answer is, “No, it’s a sabbatical because the office is not supposed to be contacting me during this time.” However, the scriptural basis for the sabbatical is the Sabbath rest. It’s the academic world that has co-opted the term to make it mean something else.

Though my inclination is to keep busy doing things, I hear God saying to me, “Just relax and enjoy. Life is not about productivity and accomplishments.” [Ironically, that came to my attention soon after reading a quote from a minister who said that “God ministers His Word to us... exclusively through the Scripture,” which I think is a gross oversimplification.] He gave us the Sabbath to set apart time for Him. It’s not meant to be a day of planning, preparation, and productivity, but of rest. “On the seventh day He rested,” and so can we. We can build the regular rhythm of rest into our weeks and months and years.

It’s okay to stop and rest and listen for a while. As Jesus told Martha, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42). Spiritual food is more important than physical nourishment. We need both, but we may not feel the spiritual hunger nearly as quickly as we notice our empty stomachs.

My thought for today comes from Jonny Diaz’s song, Just Breathe: “Let your weary spirit rest. Lay down what’s good and find what’s best.” Regardless of how much good we are accomplishing or how many people we are pleasing, we need to stop and rest and seek God’s best. We might be surprised by what we hear from Him.

“Stand by the roads and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls” (Jeremiah 6:16b).

“Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you” (Psalm 116:7).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Photo by Dawn Rutan: Camp Dixie, Fayetteville, N.C.

Cast Offs

I had started writing this post last week, but was too busy and stressed to finish it. I guess I was intended to wait a few days so that others could contribute to the final product...

I don’t know about anyone else, but I have trouble figuring out how not to be anxious. I went online to look for advice and found a sermon by John Piper on 1 Peter 5:1-11. He rightly points out that “casting all your anxieties on Him” is part of a larger dissertation on humility. Entrusting our cares to God is an essential component of humbling ourselves before Him: “before you can put yourself humbly under God’s mighty hand, you have to put your anxiety confidently in God’s mighty hand.”

Piper mentions that there’s also an element of humbling ourselves before others. I started thinking about all the things that add to my stress and anxiety levels, and how much of that is tied to the pride of self-sufficiency and self-imposed expectations. A few days ago I came up with some questions for myself, many of which are related to questions Pastor Matt asked in his sermon this week. He asked, “How much of your burden is caused by sin and its consequences? ...How much is an effort to keep up an appearance?” So here are the questions I’ve been asking:

• What tasks am I doing that could or should be done by someone else or not at all?
• What deadlines have I set that could be pushed back?
• What is actually required of me for my job or for my church?
• What activities can I cut back without great loss?

Related to all those questions, what would happen if I started saying no to some things? I’m working on revising how I set my priorities based on my answers to those questions:

• It is not necessary for me to attend every scheduled meeting of every board and committee I am on, though some discussions may require my presence.
• It is not necessary for me to have an immediate answer to every possible question, though I will do my best to answer the relevant questions as I can.
• It is not necessary to be at church every time the doors are open, though I do need to be there on a regular basis and remain in fellowship with other believers (Hebrews 10:24-25).
• It is not necessary to read through the Bible in a year, though I do need to read a little each day (2 Timothy 3:16).
• It is not necessary to be fully versed in every point of theology, though I will continue to learn (2 Timothy 2:15).
• It is not even necessary to know exactly how to pray for the complex issues in our world today, though I must pray (Romans 8:26, 1 Timothy 2:1-2).

As Pastor Matt shared last week from his conversation with Paul David Tripp, “God will never give you conflicting callings... Don’t try to do too much.” There are some things we are called to do, but a lot of stress and anxiety could be eliminated if we stopped trying to do things God never called us to do.

So how do we cast our anxieties on God? One way is to prayerfully consider what God requires of you at this time in this situation, then trust that He’ll take care of the rest. It may mean humbly asking for help from other people, or frank conversations about your limitations. It may mean saying no to some new request. It may require seeking guidance and encouragement from your Christian family.

If God has designed us with limitations (since we are not omniscient, omnipresent, or omnipotent), and He has given each of us a unique role in His Body, then He must also provide the capable people to fulfill each task He has ordained. None of us can do it all alone, and we aren’t meant to try. Doing so will only cause us unnecessary stress and anxiety. We can rest in the faith that He’s already provided a way to accomplish His will, and we can cast off those burdens we were never meant to carry.

“Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 ESV).

© 2016 Dawn Rutan.

Learning Experiences

Some things can only be learned by experience I guess. Surgery and a night in the hospital have given me a much greater sympathy for those who have extended and/or repeated stays. It's not exactly a desirable event. Here are a few thoughts I've had, some of which mirror John Piper's reflections that I linked in my last blog. 

-It's humbling to suddenly be dependent on strangers for everything you need. I had to remind myself that it is not an imposition to ask for help from those who volunteer or are employed to help, and the vast majority seemed glad to do so. 

-It's not easy to be conversational when you can't string words together into a sentence. Sometimes it was all I could do to remember to say thank you. 

-When sleep is impossible, you might as well make the best of it. On sleepless nights at home I usually get frustrated because I know what is on my schedule for the next day. But in the hospital I was at peace just laying there and thinking and listening to music. (Thank God for iPhones with capacity for hours of music, plus books, email and Facebook!) I challenged myself with remembering the Scriptures I've memorized over the past year, and I enjoyed time to pray for many people and situations that came to mind. 

-It can be overwhelming to be released with a bunch of instructions but with no real idea of what to expect when you get home. How do I know if the pain pills will work or will cause side effects when I've only had IVs for two days? Doctors who go through the same spiel day after day may forget that this is all new to me. Having nurses or other people to talk to is helpful (as is Google).

-It is amazing to live in a country and time period when medical help is so readily available. Although the bills may cause a twinge of regret, it could be far worse. I could be in a place where I'd have to live with problems because help was not affordable or available. Many people die for lack of simple medicine. (Mark 5:21-43 comes to mind.) I have to be thankful as well for the quality of my hospital. 

-The prayers of friends and the presence of God are lifesaving. I am one who can get anxious about many things. But I had no fear of the surgery, being alone for the night, or even having a male nurse. God has been orchestrating this event and preparing me for it for quite some time. His timing is perfect. 

I'm sure I could think of more to add, but my brain is ready for a nap. The challenge for the weeks ahead is to remember that rest is good and that it is okay to be unproductive at times. Everything in due season. 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV). 

© Dawn Rutan 2016. Photo by Dawn Rutan.

Getting Ready

This Wednesday I'll be doing something new, though it wasn't exactly on my bucket list-- surgery and a night in the hospital (woman's stuff 101). At the moment I'm more anxious about leaving my office in good order than about the surgery. My only regret is in missing several weeks of prime running weather. 

Several Scriptures have come to my attention lately:

"I trust in You, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in Your hand..." (Psalm 31:14-15 ESV).

"...The Lord takes thought for me..." (Psalm 40:17).

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act... Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him..." (Psalm 37:5, 7).

While I trust that God will do far more than all I ask or think (Ephesians 3:20), I also know that I have nothing to lose. Even if the worst were to happen, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21). I can't imagine the fear that would come with facing any kind of surgery without knowing Christ. I can't even imagine facing the routine challenges of a single day of life apart from Christ. 

I know most of my friends are Christians, and I appreciate the prayers that will be made on my behalf. But if you don't know Christ as your Savior and Lord, consider where you would find peace in trying times. There is only one God who loved us enough to reach down to us when we were completely powerless to work our way to Him. We can't earn our way into heaven, but we can accept the free gift He offers and be adopted into His family. That gives us the peace to face any storm. 

For those of you who may be facing the "hospital storm," I found this resource from John Piper to be encouraging and more helpful than any pre-op appointment:

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/ten-lessons-from-a-hospital-bed

In the hands of the One who knows all the answers when I don't even know what questions to ask...

© Dawn Rutan 2016. Photo by Dawn Rutan.  

Just Rest

I want to share a couple more quotes and thoughts from When God Doesn’t Fix It, by Laura Story. In the long journey of her husband’s health issues she wrote, “It took me several years to realize that it wasn’t a detour; it was the road.” As she reflected on that, she heard God asking, “If I called you to stay how you are right now, will you be content, or will there always be something else you want?” (127-128).

Those are both good points worth considering. I often find myself thinking, “Once that happens, I’ll have a clear path ahead and I’ll know where I’m going,” but the detour keeps curving further away from what I think must be the “real” road. I can’t count the number of times I thought I knew what the future held, only to find my path going somewhere entirely different. (Career planning in high school and college is somewhat of a fruitless endeavor.) Even in smaller decisions I think, “This is just a temporary thing and pretty soon life will get back to normal.” But normal never comes.

So her question is a good one—will I be content with where I am today, or always looking for something to change? The New Testament authors speak of contentment fairly often:

• Hebrews 13:5 - “…Be content with what you have, for He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”
• 1 Timothy 6:6 - “But godliness with contentment is great gain.”
• Philippians 4:11 - “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”
• 2 Corinthians 12:10 - “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Contentment is portrayed as peaceful; restful; enjoying the journey because Christ is present. Discontentment robs today of the abundant life and fullness of joy that Jesus promised (John 10:10, 15:11). I would like to say I’m striving for contentment, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how you get it. It’s kind of like seeking sleep—you don’t get it by working really hard, but by relaxing and letting go. (I’m not too good at that either.)

I find there is also a fine line between acceptance and apathy, and one can sometimes lead to the other. It’s okay to say, “God, I don’t much like this, but I trust that You are in control and I’m good with that.” However, it becomes a problem when you say, “This is never going to change and I give up!” That is not an indicator of trusting God but of bitterness and unbelief. In a sermon on Hebrews 4:1-11 John Piper stated,

“Fear the unbelief that will keep you from your promised rest (4:1). Do you see the great lesson here? The Christian life is a life of day by day, hour by hour trust in the promises of God to help us and guide us and take care of us and forgive us and bring us into a future of holiness and joy that will satisfy our hearts infinitely more than if we forsake him and put our trust in ourselves or in the promises of this world.”

My desire as I start the New Year is to find peace in the present moment. I’m not going to turn that into a resolution because that sounds too much like an exercise in futility. At this point, I’m not even sure what this will look like. It may require stopping some things—criticism, cynicism, and daydreaming—and replacing them with worship, prayer, and seeking God’s direction and wisdom. Perhaps a good question to ask is: What road am I looking for—mine or God’s?

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8).

© 2016 Dawn Rutan. 

Rest Area

Sunday’s sermon from Mark 6:30-44 on Jesus as our caring Shepherd reinforced some things I’ve read lately in taking care of ourselves. One point from the sermon was that Jesus restores His sheep. In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus invites us to come to Him for rest. The difficulty is that everyone has conflicting expectations placed on them by family, friends, coworkers, church members, and themselves. And as I mentioned recently, we tend to judge ourselves and others by our level of productivity. When it comes to periods of change or stress, we have to know what our priorities are so we can use our time wisely. In You’re Going to Be Okay, Holley Gerth suggests three questions we need to ask:

1) What does God want me to do?
2) What’s the best use of my emotions and energy?
3) What do I need most right now?

At times it seems like the church excels at adding to our stress. You can’t stop teaching Sunday school because you’ve always done it. You can’t get off the church board because no one else will fill that position. You have to help with the church dinner, nursery, bulletins, etc. There is a perception in the church, and even among pastors, that everything related to the church takes priority over personal time, family, career, and anything else we may want to do. Sometimes it’s hard to say no to church activities because “You’re serving God,” but we often don’t differentiate between the many types of activities churches promote. It’s ironic that the building that contains a sanctuary may be the last place we’d come for rest.

But Jesus (and the pastor!) said it’s okay to rest when you need to rest. If we don’t set our own limits, no one else is going to do it for us. Gerth puts it this way:

“It’s like we have internal emotional and energy bank accounts. We’ve budgeted well and can cover all our expenses. Then someone runs the family car into a pole, and suddenly we need to buy a new vehicle. So what do we do? For the next few months, we change our spending. That’s also what we do when we face change. We temporarily alter how we spend our emotions and energy. This can be difficult because often the many things we do are part of our self-worth. That means when we slow down or switch things up, we feel like a failure. But the opposite is true. Sustainable life success is only possible when we can adjust in times of change to avoid going into life overdraft” (159-160).

Communicating that change can be a challenge. Little children and teens aren’t the only ones who don’t like the words “No” or “Later.” If we don’t know what our priorities are, we can’t say no to anything, and we will end up too burnt out to say yes to the things that really matter. If we let our identity be defined by what we do, we can’t stop doing anything. My identity is not teacher, leader, board member, or treasurer. My identity is beloved daughter of the King and servant of God. There is only one Lord, and only He has the authority to tell me what I should or should not do in His service. His approval is all that matters. Guilt has no place in God’s agenda for me. Even if I accomplish nothing today, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1 ESV). Even if I never help with another church function, my future is secure.

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23-24).

© 2015 Dawn Rutan.

Just Rest

I recently finished the Bible study based on John Piper’s book Don’t Waste Your Life. It’s a good book and worthwhile study, but I came away with a vague feeling that I should be doing more. I don’t think that was Piper’s intent as he says “Enjoying God supremely is one way to glorify him. Enjoying God makes him look supremely valuable” (p. 28). Somewhere between the beginning of the book and the end, I lost sight of the fact that the reason we serve God is because we enjoy Him, not just because we “should” do it.

At the same time, I started reading Addicted to Busy: Recovery for the Rushed Soul, by Brady Boyd. He shares a great example from his own life of the recurring tendency to do more and more and thus lose the joy in Christ that should be the center of our purpose and motivation. I think that is the enemy’s intent to keep us distracted from what really matters. Although I don’t consider myself as a workaholic, some of his comments hit home for me, especially in light of Piper’s book. Some of us are easily guilted into doing things we don’t really want to do just because we think we should. That little word “No” keeps morphing into “No problem” for some reason. We overschedule ourselves and society is teaching our children to do the same.

The crazy thing is that God even commanded us to take a Sabbath rest, and yet that’s the one thing we repeatedly fail to do. The prophet Isaiah said: “If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on My holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight and the holy day of the Lord honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly; then you shall take delight in the Lord, and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth…” (58:13-14). The order of this passage is interesting—if you enjoy the Sabbath, then you will delight in the Lord. That’s counterintuitive. I’m sure there is a cyclical pattern, but it starts with observing the Sabbath.

Boyd says, “The more rested you are, the less you are driven by what others think of you. The more rested you are, the more you are driven by what God, alone, believes to be true. This is a magnificent place to be, because Scripture is clear that God’s thoughts toward us are good” (74). Rest not only refreshes and strengthens the physical body, but it clears the mind of distractions. The discipline of scheduling necessary rest forces us to prioritize what really needs to be done and what can wait or be dropped altogether. That’s where it gets difficult, particularly in the church context. Many of us think, “If I don’t do this, then who will?” But maybe there’s someone else who can do it but doesn’t realize there is a need. Or maybe it just doesn’t need to be done.

As we started a sermon series from 1 Corinthians recently, I took particular note of 1:7, “so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift,” and I realized that Paul was talking to the church, not just to individuals. No single person has every spiritual gift, but working together we are equipped with whatever we need to do what God has called us to do. So that means that every person has a role, and some of the overly responsible people need to step back and let others do what they are gifted to do. Some people need more rest than others, but every one of us needs to be adequately rested to fulfill our roles to the best of our ability.

Going back to Piper’s book, a wasted life is one in which God’s gifts are hidden away and not used for His glory. That doesn’t mean that we have to accept every request that comes along or that we can’t take time to rest and enjoy God’s creation. If we take Isaiah’s words literally, failure to rest and observe the Sabbath will actually keep us from delighting in God. Busyness for God may actually dishonor Him if it’s not led by Him and is violating His Sabbath. “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

I’ll probably need this reminder again before too long, but at least for now I’m not going to feel guilty about sleeping as long as I need to, declining invitations to events I don’t want to join, or saying no to tasks that don’t interest me or aren’t directly related to my job. Enjoying vacations and entertainment won’t bring the world crashing down around me.

Mark Buchanan writes in The Rest of God (as quoted by Boyd): “The rest of God… is not a reward for finishing. It’s not a bonus for work well done. It’s sheer gift.”