I recently Not Quite Fine: Mental Health, Faith, and Showing Up for One Another, by Carlene Hill Byron, and following are several quotes worth considering:
26- We understand that to be “mentally ill” is to vary from some standard of mental health. Easy enough. But what is an appropriate standard of mental health? …Ordinary is always whatever is expected or allowable in a given time or place. That means that changing cultural norms can redefine what was once normal as mental illness.
54- People with mental health problems seek help among the faithful for several reasons:
We hope someone can convince us that our suffering has meaning.
We want assurance that our difficult lives have purpose.
We want to experience ourselves as persons who have value—persons who have been assigned an importance that often feels intangible by a God we cannot see, and who desperately crave recognition as valued individuals within the physically present body of Christ.
We are looking for a place where we can belong, even when our mental health problems make us prickly and painful to be with.
We are, with all the faithful, looking for “confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1).
89- Mental health problems also tend to isolate people. Many of us, including those with mental health diagnoses, are more likely to draw inward than reach out in our most difficult moments. Stanley Hauerwas writes, “The dangerous thing about mental illness is how it tempts those so afflicted to think they are completely on their own, isolated in their distress.” But we are also likely to be, in fact, more alone than many others.
98- People who can suffer silently and invisibly are welcome in any congregation… We’re even more happy to honor pain once it has been healed. Those of us whose long-lasting suffering limits our lives often have a different experience, in church as elsewhere. This is unfortunate, because when the body behaves as it is designed and called to function, our mental health problems can diminish to some degree. When people feel loved, cared for, and safe, our mental health symptoms may become less challenging. Sometimes the symptoms diminish. Sometimes they are just less overwhelming when we live in a warm community of people who care.
99- When we select as “high potential” members only those who could help quickly multiply the congregation, we risk filling the community with what pediatric epidemiologist W. Thomas Boyce describes as “dandelions”—the kind of people who, like the bright summer flower, do all right under almost any conditions. But we’re likely to miss what he calls “orchid” people—those whose lives are marked by extremely high potential for both outstanding contributions and catastrophic failure because of their extreme reactivity to their surroundings.
100- William Nash said that the people who are most likely to overcome mental health challenges are those who found relationships where “somebody listened to them, really listened… without becoming disgusted, without judging,” and still loved them. For the sufferer to experience that love as genuine, Nash said, “it can’t really be a helping professional like me who’s paid to come in and give you 50 minutes of an hour.” The love that heals is not for sale.
108- When we let ourselves define others by their difficulties, as if these are immutable, we excise God and ourselves from the transforming work God empowers people to do.
123- The quietness and rest that people with mental health problems need is also something we all need… Most of us require more stillness than our cultures are generally willing to give. For us to live according to the pace and drive of contemporary Western culture is for us to burn through our neural circuitry in ways that lead to disruptive and disorderly crises. For us to honor God with our lives, we need to live in ways that may seem out of step with many around us.
129- Successfully managing feelings requires knowing that feelings aren’t less than thoughts; they’re simply different from thoughts. Without feelings, we would miss some of the information God has encoded into our systems of gathering and responding to God’s world… Many feelings are at the core of what allows us to connect and bond in human community.
144-145- For an individual with mental health problems, the special challenge is to discern the useful feelings—those that come in response to a situation and give clues to personal values and purpose—from the feelings that simply come like storm surges. There is rarely any meaning to be found in the latter. All that can be done is to set the feeling aside and do the next thing. But without good discernment, a person risks either ignoring big feelings that have useful information or attending excessively to feelings whose only meaning is to show that one’s body is out of whack right now.
181- What people with mental health problems generally need from churches is not mental health treatment but Christian friendship and the kinds of caring that can emerge only among those committed to each other. Faith communities are designed by God as places where people can belong, find meaning and purpose in life, be recognized as valued persons in the sight of God and other people, and find hope for the days to come. These kinds of caring don’t require professional support. In fact, they happen most effectively when they are provided long term by nonprofessionals.
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“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2).
© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Image courtesy of Amazon.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.
