The Next Step

I subscribe to a blog by author and teacher Terry Powell. One of his recent emails asked the question, “For a person diagnosed with major depression (recurring episodes), what does ‘victorious Christian living’ look like?” I think that is a question worth considering. Every person’s experience is different, but here are a few observations from my lifelong experience of recurring depression:

• Faith doesn’t mean that all struggles cease, but growing faith does mean that I’m learning to depend on God more fully and more often. There is much that I know I could not do apart from God enabling me to keep going. And when my faith feels weak, I still know that it is God who promises to hold onto me and not vice versa.
• Christian joy and hope don’t mean the absence of sorrow and tears, but remembering that one day every tear will be wiped away. (See my earlier post on the Root and Fruit of Hope.) When I don’t feel like singing songs of praise, not only does Jesus, the Man of Sorrows, understand how I feel, but He’s also given me the Body of Christ to sing on my behalf.
• Enduring suffering doesn’t mean pretending it doesn’t exist or hiding it from others. But it also doesn’t mean sitting passively and watching life pass you by. It usually means doing the next thing whether you feel like it or not. Wash the dishes, trim the bushes, go to the office, go to church, get counseling, get some exercise, etc.

I don’t want to hold myself up as some kind of success story or model for everyone else. There are many times when I feel like I’m failing as a Christian and as a person. During one particularly rough season of life I missed a lot of days of work (back when working from home was not an option). My counselor at the time encouraged me to set some goals that would give me a sense of purpose and a destination. That’s when I decided to pursue martial arts and also to go back to seminary part time. Although those things are no longer part of my regimen, they gave me some new relationships and an outlet for my stresses. They also ingrained in me the habit of showing up even when I don’t feel like it.

I think sometimes in the church we confuse legalism and discipline. I read my Bible and write in my prayer journal daily and attend church each week, not because I think God expects me to do so, and not to secure my salvation. I do it because I know that it is for my own benefit and growth in Christ. Likewise, I don’t go to work just to pay the bills or because other people expect me to show up (though that’s all true), but because it is good for me to focus on something besides myself. And I don’t exercise because the doctor tells me to, but because I know I will feel better if I do.

There are still days when I don’t want to keep enduring and I pray “How long, O Lord?” Right now I can’t remember the last time I made it through a whole week without any tears. Although I often don’t feel like a “victorious Christian,” I know that victory is ultimately in God’s hand and that He uses weak and wounded people to accomplish His will in this world.

It struck me this week that Psalms 138 and 139 can go together:

“For though the Lord is high, He regards the lowly… The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me… If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me… In Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” (138:6, 8; 139:9-10, 16).

God’s path may often lead us through dark valleys, but He will fulfill His purposes because He is the One who walks with us and upholds us through it all. We just need to keep taking one step after another.

“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; When I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me” (Micah 7:8).

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord… though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand” (Psalm 37:23-24).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Photo is from a recent hiking trip on the Viaduct Trail near Blowing Rock, NC. (I’m not sure who from our group took this particular photo.) The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Seen and Unseen

In all the hype and talk about social media—its dangers and delights—it occurred to me recently that there’s a benefit that perhaps gets overlooked at times. Seeing likes or comments on your post gives the sense of being seen by others. It doesn’t really matter what the post is about—it’s an affirmation that we do exist and are not invisible. That may seem like an inconsequential thing, but consider the fact that through the pandemic there were untold numbers of people living in complete isolation and skyrocketing statistics on depression and anxiety. And isolation still lingers for many people.

I started thinking about the people who show up on my Facebook feed regularly (recognizing that algorithms control that in ways I can’t comprehend), and a large percentage of them are women who never married or are single again. In this podcast transcript from The Gospel Coalition, the comment was made that women use social media to connect with friends and family more so than men do. For those who live alone, social media is a small point of contact to say, “I’m still here and I hope you see me.” And for those who are not working outside the home, through retirement or other reasons, there can be a real deficiency in human contact most days of the week.

Scripture has a variety of references to being seen. One is in Genesis 16 when Hagar fled from Sarai into the wilderness. God speaks to her and her response is, “You are the God who sees me… I have now seen the One who sees me” (16:13 NIV). Another time, when Israel is suffering in bondage in Egypt, we’re told, “God saw the people of Israel—and God knew” (Ex. 2:25).

Jesus was also keen to see and reach out to people who were suffering and who lacked connection in the community.

• Matthew 9:20-22 – “And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His garment… Jesus turned, and seeing her He said, ‘Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.”
• Luke 7:12-15 – “As He drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother… And when the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her… And He said, ‘Young man, I say to you, arise.’ And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother.”
• Luke 13:11-12 – “And behold, there was a woman who had had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, He called her over and said to her, ‘Woman, you are freed from your disability.’”
• John 5:5-6 – At the pool of Bethesda, “One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be healed?’”

Sometimes the church is not so good at seeing the suffering and lonely individuals in our midst. In many churches, the only time we acknowledge sorrow is at funerals. Our worship services rarely include songs of lament, and prayer times often only include physical needs. In his book Finding Jesus in the Storm: The Spiritual Lives of Christians with Mental Health Challenges, John Swinton writes:

“If our liturgical practices do not take onboard the full breadth of human experiences, our formation will be incomplete… ‘We don’t name, we don’t lift up mental illness in our litany of concerns, so people feel invisible.’ The suggestion that some people may become invisible in worship is deeply troubling. If… some among us ‘disappear’ because of the shape of our worship practices, then all of us are failing in our task to honor God and to love our neighbor” (208-209).

Whether it’s in our church services or in daily life, to be the Body of Christ we need to follow Jesus' example of truly seeing those around us and making sure they don’t fall through the cracks and disappear.

“If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Cor. 12:26).

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© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Sparrow

There’s a hymn that, even though I like it in general, the words can tend to rub me the wrong way. “His Eye Is on the Sparrow,” by Civilla D. Martin, says in part:

“Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely
And long for Heav’n and home…

“I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.”

I think the reason the song irritates me is that I know how often I (and all Christians) do get discouraged and lonely and frustrated with life in a broken world. Just telling someone “don’t be discouraged” or “don’t worry—be happy” feels like putting a band-aid on a gaping wound. It is true that Jesus said “Fear not,” and “Do not be anxious,” but I would contend that His words were not intended as a command but as a comfort, because He included encouraging words of God’s love and care for us (e.g. Matt. 6:25-34).

The church has a tendency to admonish the weary and wounded rather than comforting and encouraging them. We sing songs that are upbeat and celebratory, and we’ve lost the language of lament. Words like sorrow, tears, weeping, and mourning occur over 300 times in Scripture. Joy and joyful appear about 200 times in the ESV.

As believers we are called to mourn over sin in our own lives and those we love (2 Cor. 12:21). We should experience sorrow because of death and illness (Phil. 2:27). Suffering is normal for those who desire to live godly lives in an ungodly world (1 Pet. 2:19-21). These things should make us long for our eternal home, where “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 21:4). We grieve now while we hold onto the promise of that eternal hope (1 Thess. 4:13).

There may be times when we lose sight of God’s presence and we get unduly disheartened, and we may need to be reminded that His eye is on us at all times. But we should not be so quick to dismiss the experience of suffering. Faith grows through enduring the hard times, not by escaping from them. It is through faithful endurance that we become fruitful messengers of God’s comfort (2 Cor. 1:3-7).

By all means, sing joyful songs when you are happy, but also join in the songs of lament when those are more appropriate. “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15), and thereby bring help and hope to the hurting.

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them fall will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows” (Matthew 10:29-31).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Rejoice Always

As I’ve been reading in the Psalms lately I’ve had this running commentary in my head: “‘Sing to the Lord a new song’ (Psalm 98:1)… Maybe later, God… ‘Make a joyful noise to the Lord’ (100:1)… Not right now, if You don’t mind.” But on top of that I was reminded of Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice” (ESV), along with 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” In both of those passages, the command to “rejoice always” comes in the middle of a long line of other commands. Paul certainly makes it sound like it is something that we are capable of doing.

It seems odd that an emotion would be commanded, and whole books have been written on the subject (Faithful Feelings is one I’ve read). I decided to go back to the source and look at the Greek. The word used in both of these Scriptures is χαίρετε, and HELPS Word Studies says: “properly, to delight in God’s grace (‘rejoice’) – literally, to experience God’s grace (favor), be conscious (glad) for His grace” (http://biblehub.com/greek/5463.htm).

That puts a whole new spin on things. Paul isn’t saying “Jump up and down with joy at all times.” Nor is he saying we should go through life making comments like, “I just totaled my car; praise the Lord!” What he is saying is that we should live with a daily consciousness of God’s grace, and as we do, that will color our experience of the varying circumstances of life. It doesn’t mean we won’t experience sorrow and pain. Elsewhere Paul says he is “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10) using the same Greek root. It’s okay to be sorrowful while living with an awareness of God’s presence, provision, and protection.

So going back to the Psalms, some of the “new songs” that we sing may be songs of God’s faithfulness in the midst of mourning; a “joyful noise” may be prayers of thanksgiving for who God is and all He has done by His grace. The knowledge and experience of God’s grace in the past gives us patience for today and hopeful expectation for the future.

Relevant Magazine recently posted the following:

“‘Blessed are those who mourn.’ This truth seems to be missing in certain Sunday morning positive thinking tutorials. It’s as if we’ve come to believe that a smile is definitive proof of what we believe, but a smile doesn’t mean that your faith is any more real or alive than the faith of someone in tears” (http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/sadness-doesnt-mean-we-are-struggling-our-faith#kZyZQhH1EsKcfUEk.99).

I keep encountering people who are tired of the happy-Christian façade. Even on Facebook, where we only see what people want us to see, friends are encouraging others to be more real. We can serve one another, not by being pseudo-joyful, but by pointing one another to true rejoicing in God’s grace and bringing that back to our consciousness even in the midst of sorrow.

My paraphrase of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18:

“Be always alert to God’s grace, live in constant communion with God, remember His goodness at all times, for this is the delight of God in Christ Jesus for you.”