Reflections on a Year

As we all come to the end of another calendar year, and I celebrate the anniversary of my birth, I was thinking about some of the lessons I’ve been learning (or relearning) in the past year. In no particular order:

• Just because someone endeavors to take care of their body doesn’t mean they won’t face physical challenges and decline over time. Exercise and diet are important for stewarding our bodies, but life in a fallen world with broken bodies leads to the need for doctors. But one day we’ll receive new bodies suited to life in the perfect new creation.
  
  
• Even though someone may be labeled as an extrovert doesn’t mean they are good at building relationships. And even though I’m an introvert doesn’t mean I have an excuse for avoiding people. All good relationships require time and effort, regardless of whether we go to church together, work together, or live together. One day we’ll live in the new kingdom in perfect harmony, but for now we all have to deal with difficult or broken relationships. Sometimes we have to let go of our expectations of other people.
  
  
• God has created each of us as unique human individuals. As an old book by Barbara Johnson noted, “Normal is just a setting on your dryer.” Some of the standards that are thought to represent the “proper Christian life,” are actually just cultural stereotypes that have no basis in Scripture. When we are prone to judge others for their appearance, habits, or interests, we need to go first to the Bible as our guide for right, wrong, or somewhere in between.
  
  
• Just because someone goes to church sometimes and may profess faith in Christ doesn’t mean they are living under the lordship of Jesus Christ. Some may go to church every week for decades and yet choose to ignore most of the commands of Scripture. Living in a “churchy” culture allows many to slip through with a Christian façade. There is coming a day when all will be called to account.
  
  
• There are no “one and done” aspects to the Christian life. Faith, sanctification, endurance, repenting from sin, forgiving others, peace, joy, hope—all require turning to God every day. And we all need regular encouragement and exhortation to keep walking on the narrow way of salvation.

As we launch into a new year, let us “press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:14).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Pruning Hurts

I have an umbrella plant that a coworker gave me 25 years ago. Actually, I think she allowed me to rescue it when she was about to discard it. I haven’t given it much attention over the years, and it was sprawling in all directions. So I finally cut off a few branches and then thought I’d see if I could get them to root and thereby multiply my plant. (The jury is still out on that part.) If my plant could talk, it would probably be saying, “What in the world are you doing? I’m perfectly happy the way I am!”

I’ve found that same sentiment in my own heart lately. We might think that so long as we’re growing in faith and knowledge then there’s no need for God to start pruning, but Jesus said,

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:1-2).

I note a few things in these verses. First, God prunes those branches that are “in Me,” in other words, Christians. He has no need to prune those who are not Christians, because they are incapable of bearing spiritual fruit to begin with. They may do some good works, or they may not. And He may send trials that will cause them to turn to Him and accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, but that’s not the same as pruning. God disciplines His children through pruning:

“It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons… For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:7-8, 11).

Second, even for Christians there are branches in our lives that do not bear fruit and need to be removed. These may be sinful habits, wrong priorities, or self-sufficient abilities and attitudes. Sometimes pruning is necessary to further conform us to the image of Christ (see Romans 8:28 and 12:2). The Apostle Paul wrote,

“For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Cor. 1:8b-9).

Third, it is God’s goal for us to bear more fruit over time. Although we may be bearing some fruit as we are, He knows exactly what needs to be removed from or added to our lives to make us more fruitful. I think this may be the hardest for us to comprehend. We look at our own lives (both as individuals and as local churches) and think we’re doing pretty well, but God sees the opportunity for something better.

A well-known Christian author wrote in one book that God doesn’t take away things that are good for our spiritual growth, but then he went on to contradict himself later in the book. In contrast, Paul David Tripp wrote in Suffering:

“I thought I knew what God was doing. Life and ministry were as good and as fruitful as they’d ever been… Why would God ever mess with something that worked to give him glory and convinced people to live in rest and submission to him? Why would he not do anything he could to keep me strong, active, and speaking for him? … He’s after the ultimate good for his creation, and for us who bear his image, he’s moving creation to the moment when he will finally make all things new” (174, 177).

The fact is that God often takes away something good in order to create something better. He takes us off of familiar paths in order to make us depend on Him more. He may allow suffering in order to make us see our weakness and His strength. He prunes branches that are bearing fruit so that they can bear more fruit. Pruning can multiply our fruitfulness. However, we may not always receive the “something better” if we fail to seek God’s will during times of pruning. We may be inclined to make unwise decisions just to feel like we’re moving forward.

May we all learn to trust His plan, seek His will, and abide in His love in times of pruning.

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Under Construction

I came across this quote in The Robe, by Lloyd C. Douglas:

“This faith is not like a deed to a house in which one may live with full rights of possession. It is more like a kit of tools with which a man may build him a house. The tools will be worth just what he does with them. When he lays them down, they will have no value until he takes them up again.”

There are a lot of people associated with the Church who have never picked up those tools. They may have come to faith at a revival or camp, but have not taken any real steps after that. Jesus said, “Everyone then who hears these words of Mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock… And everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand” (Matthew 7:24, 26). There are those who’ve sat down on the Rock but have never gotten around to building anything. In Douglas’s words, they think they’ve been handed the deed to a completed house and can now settle in and do nothing.

The Apostle Paul told the Corinthian church:

“I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it… Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done” (1 Cor. 3:10-13).

Though Paul was writing to the church as a group, the same is true of individuals, and the church is not built up if the individual members are not growing. I picture a house with a wall here and a window there, but nothing holding it together.

I was talking this week with a publisher of Christian education materials, and we were wondering what church programs are going to look like after the pandemic, because even before COVID many churches only had older adults in Sunday school and small groups. It’s a struggle to get young adults and kids involved in the church. Many of them attend so sporadically that they are never getting the big picture of the Bible and redemption. The tools are there, but they have not chosen to pick them up and use them.

The Church always has and always will struggle to compete for the time and attention of people, even those who say they are Christians. The world, the flesh, and the devil will provide abundant distractions from spiritual growth. Church leaders all want to do everything possible to engage people with their faith, and we must start with prayer for the hearts and minds of our friends, family members, and church members. Apart from the Spirit’s work, we can accomplish nothing through human ingenuity.

“Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving” (Colossians 2:6-7).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Growing Up Together

In his book, Why We Need the Church to Become More Like Jesus, Joseph H. Hellerman paraphrases author Bruce Malina’s description of a “strong-group” mindset:

“The individual person is embedded in the [church family] and is free to do what he or she feels right and necessary only if in accord with [church family] norms and only if the action is in the [church family’s] best interest” (ch. 3).

I suspect that in many churches if a pastor made that assertion this Sunday, he would be labeled as “cultist” and would soon be shown the door. In our individualistic Western culture, we don’t trust those who claim that “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one” (to borrow a phrase from Star Trek). Yet isn’t that what Scripture consistently teaches?

“So with yourselves, since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, strive to excel in building up the church” (1 Cor. 14:12).

“…to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (Eph. 4:12-13).

Hellerman goes on:

“It is not hard to see how (1) the anthropocentric approach to evangelism found in gospel tracts like The Four Spiritual Laws, (2) the framing of spiritual gifts in terms of personal fulfillment, and (3) the felt-needs focus of the seeker-sensitive movement contributed significantly to the seismic shift from ‘us’ to ‘me’ that occurred during the latter half of the twentieth century among American evangelicals” (ch. 5).

Is it any wonder that in the twenty first century we struggle to get people to darken the doors of the church with any kind of regularity? If the church is all about me, then I can choose my own path. But if it is about the wellbeing of the local body of believers, then my church family needs me and I need my church family.

“The church is a family, not a business. It is an organism, not an organization… The commitment to which Jesus calls us is a relational commitment, not an institutional commitment... To become a follower of Jesus is to become loyal to the people of God, not to a pastor’s vision or to the demands of a large church’s calendar of programs” (ch. 2).

Where the rubber meets the road for many of us in church leadership is in discerning how we can build that relational connection and commitment to the body either through the programs of the church or apart from such programs. Are the events on the calendar facilitating the growth of the church family or are they leftovers from a different era? Are we connecting people to one another or only introducing them to God? Are church members committed to each other’s growth or just checking off one more obligation?

“We grow in our faith as individual Christians to the degree that we are deeply rooted relationally in a local church community that is passionately playing its part in God’s grand story of creation, fall, redemption, and restoration” (preface).

Or as my pastor put it, “We grow together or we don’t grow at all.”

“We are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which is it equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (Eph. 4:15b-16).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

One Thing

It’s curious how times of testing impact individuals differently. Although I’m not thrilled to be working at home for three weeks or more, I feel like I’ll be able to handle it okay. (Of course, this is just the first day, so that may change before it’s over.) Thinking back a couple decades or more, I recall that my habit whenever I was home alone was to have the TV on in the background all the time for company. It didn’t really matter to me what I was seeing or hearing, and I didn’t care how that input was changing the way I thought about things. It took me a long time to realize the negative impact it had on my spiritual life, and even longer to be convicted enough to pray for change. If I’d been stuck at home for a few weeks back then, I shudder to think what I would have done with my time. As God has graciously enabled me to change and to mature as a Christian, my thoughts, desires, and temptations are not what they once were. That’s not to say that I never seek distractions from trials or make sinful choices, but I’m much more likely to seek God instead.

In this time of stress and anxiety, I’m sure that many people are tempted to “self-medicate” with the old patterns of sin they once enjoyed. I keep returning to Ephesians 4:

“Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds… They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!—assuming that you have heard about Him and were taught in Him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (17-24 ESV).

As this enforced isolation has come during the season of Lent, it’s a good time for all of us to dive deeper into Scripture and prayer and to truly seek God. My prayer for my fellow church members is that this would be a time of purification rather than returning to sin, that God would guard us from temptation, and that He would help us find ways to uphold one another in prayer and with encouraging words. None of us are strong enough to overcome sin by our own power. We can’t sanctify ourselves. We need God’s help.

In the words of Rich Mullins’ song “My One Thing”:

Save me from those things that might distract me
Please take them away and purify my heart
I don’t want to lose the eternal for the things that are passing
‘Cause what will I have when the world is gone
If it isn’t for the love that goes on and on…

May we each find ourselves drawing closer to God during this time. And though we are physically distant from one another, may we be reminded frequently that we are still one body under one Lord.

“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple. For He will hide me in His shelter in the day of trouble; He will conceal me under the cover of His tent; He will lift me high upon a rock” (Psalm 27:4-5).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Sowing the Eternal

Peter Kreeft’s book Back to Virtue has some good thoughts that are worth mulling over:

“God often withholds from us the grace to avoid a lesser sin because we are in danger of a greater sin. To avoid pride, he sometimes lets us fall into lust, since lust is usually obvious, undisguised, and temporary, while pride is not” (168).

At first glance, this doesn’t seem to make sense. Why would God allow one type of sin in order to keep us from another type? It almost seems to contradict James 1:13-15 (ESV), “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and He himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” James makes it clear that sin always begins and ends with self, not God.

So if self is the problem, why would pride be worse than lust? After all, it can be pride that says “I deserve this pleasure” or “I can handle this temptation.” But I think the greater danger is the pride that says “I successfully fought that temptation by myself,” and thereby denies God all the glory. He is less concerned about sins that cause us to cry out to Him for mercy and grace than about sins that make us think we don’t need Him. I can safely say that I don’t want to go back to the days when sin hardened my heart and drew me away from God. With a softer heart each sin hurts more, but it causes me to run to Him and not from Him.

Kreeft quotes Samuel Smiles:

“Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny” (169).

There was a time when certain sins became so habitual that I’m sure it started to change my character, though I didn’t realize it at the time. Disdain for people, hiding my sin, building walls around my heart and my life—these weren’t harmless decisions. And reversing the process had to start with breaking down those walls to let others see that my true character was not what it appeared to be. Only from that place of vulnerability and accountability could I then break down the habits and cease the acts and thoughts underneath (or at least start to make progress against them). “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:8).

Another good quote from Kreeft:

“We are promised the great and inconceivable gift to see God face to face, just as he is... It is what we were made for, our ‘pearl of great price,’ our ‘one thing necessary’. If we only knew, we would eagerly sacrifice anything and everything in the world for this” (171-172).

That reminds me of C.S. Lewis’s comments about us “fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us” (The Weight of Glory). I confess I would like just a glimpse of that infinite, eternal joy so that the things of earth would “grow strangely dim,” but I suppose that would negate the need for faith and hope. If we could see exactly what was coming, we wouldn’t have to trust that God will one day make all our obedience worthwhile.

Recently I have returned to an old practice of praying through the armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-17) before I start my day. It is a reminder to me that I can’t do this alone. I have also found encouragement from Isaiah 41:10:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

God will strengthen us for the battle if we will keep turning to Him. He will help us and protect us by His grace and for His glory. And when we do fall, as we often will, it is His righteousness that upholds us and not our own failed attempts at righteousness.

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness...” (Isaiah 61:10).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Outside In

For the past several days I’ve been thinking about the way God has worked in my life to make me more like Christ. There was a long period of time (probably most of my life) when I thought that my biggest sin problem was behavioral. I thought if I could just master the bad habits I would feel good about my growth in faith (I’m still working on that). But then I began to realize that even if I could avoid the outward behaviors, I still thought about them and desired to do them. As Jesus clearly said, behaviors come from the heart (Matt. 15:19).

So I figured if I could clean up my thoughts and pray for heart change, I would be all set. (I’m still working on that too.) But I’ve also found that some of my thoughts are rooted in wrong beliefs. There are areas where I have chosen my interpretation of Scripture based on what I want it to say and what requires the least amount of change in my life. Just this week I was convicted by my pastor’s sermon that God has complete authority over His creation, and it is not my right to decide what I think Scripture should mean. God’s Word doesn’t talk in terms of “fairness” or “rights” when it comes to stating what is best for us. Sam Allberry made this comment:

“God’s commands are not arbitrary… David says in Psalm 19 ‘The commands of the Lord are radiant.’ His commandments are radiant because He is. And so when we can see His goodness and radiance through what He says, it doesn’t mean we find it easy to live by His ways, but we start to want to.”

God’s Word is only wondrous and radiant to those who are willing to submit to it, and I find that He brings new facets to light only when I’m ready to hear it, believe it, and act on it. When I refuse to submit to the Word, my heart is hardened until some later date when God arranges things (sometimes painfully) such that I have no other options. There have been multiple times when I’ve had to repent and say, “OK, God, I was wrong because I didn’t want to submit to Your Word. I wanted to do things my way and I convinced myself that was okay.” And often those times have come as a result of the Word of God being preached clearly and boldly in a way that I can’t ignore the Spirit’s promptings.

I know that those who argue with God (even unknowingly) will eventually lose the argument. Jesus said, “If you abide in My word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31-32 ESV). This is not a one-time event, but an ongoing experience of abiding, learning, and finding freedom.

Alistair Begg made this comment in a sermon on Daniel 9:

“When God is really at work in this kind of heart, the mature Christian ‘o’er his own shortcomings weeps with loathing’ …The longer I go in my Christian life, the more I’m aware of what a sinner I am… The nature of sin confronts me far more today than what it did before, driving me again and again to the Gospel.”

We often grow up with an idea that behavior is all that matters, and if we can act like good Christians we must actually be good Christians. Some nominal Christians never get beyond this point. As we mature we begin to realize that behavior isn’t everything and that God is concerned about our hearts. He doesn’t just want to change our actions but our thoughts, our beliefs, our priorities, and everything that is contrary to His perfect will. His process of sanctification is unending, and each step leads to another step, and another, and another. I sometimes wonder what the next step is for me, but then decide that it’s better not to know. Surrender comes at the end of a battle, not before it starts. What I do know is that He is the Good Shepherd, and He will take me through each valley to greener pastures if I will just follow Him.

“The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes” (Psalm 19:9 NIV). “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of Your law” (Psalm 119:18 ESV).

© 2017 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. 

Fruitful Growth

A recent issue of Christianity Today included the article “The Science of Sinning Less” which cites various studies on self-control. The author states, “One key recent discovery is that self-control is an exhaustible but buildable resource.” Like a muscle, self-control that is exercised regularly becomes stronger. I’m not sure that’s really a new discovery, but there is truth there. And while that is good to know, it doesn’t address the fact that Scripture talks about self-control not just as self-effort but as a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). That led me on a search for a description of biblical self-control and how it should work. Here are some of the quotes I found:

David Mathis wrote,

“True self-control is a gift from above, produced in and through us by the Holy Spirit. Until we own that it is received from outside ourselves, rather than whipped up from within, the effort we give to control our own selves will redound to our praise, rather than God’s… Ultimately, our controlling ourselves is about being controlled by Christ. When ‘the love of Christ controls us’ (2 Corinthians 5:14), when we embrace the truth that he is our sovereign, and God has ‘left nothing outside his control’ (Hebrews 2:8), we can bask in the freedom that we need not muster our own strength to exercise self-control, but we can find strength in the strength of another.”

John Piper put it this way:

“The key to a transformed mind is the steady gaze at the glory of Jesus Christ. For that to happen, we need a double work from the Holy Spirit… We need the Holy Spirit to work from the outside in by putting before us Christ-exalting truth in the gospel, and we need the Holy Spirit to work from the inside out by humbling our hard hearts. Both have to happen.”

One particularly helpful article was written by Ed Welch in The Journal of Biblical Counseling. He wrote:

“[Genuine] self-control… is not the same as relying on yourself and working up the willpower to control yourself. Instead, self-control is a gift of the Holy Spirit, through faith in Jesus Christ. It is a side effect of the fear of the Lord… The real prize is Christ Himself. So, with Jesus in view, we do those things that are important, true, and good, rather than those things that feel urgent but are ungodly… Although our cravings go deep, they are no match for the Spirit of the living God. This, of course, does not mean that the battle is over and we can ‘let go and let God.’ Rather, it means that we are now empowered to engage in the battle. As the Hebrews were promised the land, but had to take it by force, one town at a time, so we are promised the gift of self-control, yet we also must take it by force. Only the grace of God takes self-control out of the realm of hopeless self-reformation into that of great confidence that we can be transformed people.”

For practical application, Welch suggests:

“[The] desire for self-control must be accompanied by a plan… It is one thing to make a resolution; it is something completely different to repent diligently, seek counsel, and, in concert with others, develop a plan that is concrete and Christ-centered. The heart of any plan, of course, must be Jesus Christ. Self-control is like any other feature of wisdom in that it is learned by contemplating a person… Rather than give us twelve steps on which to rely, he gives us a Person to know. As Jesus is known and exalted among us, you will notice that self-control becomes more obvious. The double cure for sin is the foundation for all change. That is, in the gospel, we have been released from both the condemnation and the power of sin.”

As we contemplate Jesus Christ, His soon return, and the surpassing worth of knowing Him, may we find His fruit steadily increasing within our lives.

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession who are zealous for good works” (Titus 2:11-14 ESV).

© 2017 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Paths of Grace

Sometimes having a vivid imagination can be both a blessing and a torment. Recently I was imagining a particular “what if” scenario, thinking about what life would be like now if something had been different in the past. In the process I realized that I would be faced with a very difficult and painful decision if that had been the case, so I am thankful that God’s grace protected me from following that particular path. There are a few situations that come to mind that are like that, some of which were more likely to happen than others.

Thinking of Robert Frost’s poem, life isn’t just two roads diverging, but thousands of roads leading on to thousands of other roads. We have no way of knowing where these roads will lead over the course of a lifetime. Some choices are clearly right or wrong, while others have no moral implications at all. Most roads are somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. As we look back over a lifetime of choices, we can see how one way led on to another to get us where we are today. And if those choices have been made with God’s guidance, we can see how He has made a straight path out of what seemed like a very circuitous route.

That’s an aspect of God’s grace that we may not always see or appreciate. We can agree with the Garth Brooks song, “Sometimes I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers,” but I wonder how many times God has intervened in ways that we never even know about? We may discover them later, like the car accident we avoided because we had a dead battery, or like the “what ifs” I imagined playing out, but many we may never discover. Perhaps part of eternity will be the revelation of all the ways God intervened in our lives. That would certainly give us reason to glorify God as we say, “Thank You for not letting me go there!” Of course, we don’t have to wait for eternity to express our thanks for God’s intervention.

There are also times we wish God had intervened, but for whatever reason He did not. Even though some of the paths we’ve traversed may have been difficult ones, where would we be today if we had not gone that direction? How have those difficult roads shaped our character and strengthened our faith in ways that easier roads would not? I was wrestling with this last night and questioning why God allowed certain circumstances in my life that were not pleasant and seemed to me to be detrimental to His purposes. In fact, in reviewing the first several verses of Ephesians 1, I felt that God’s grace wasn’t all that lavish sometimes. I had to return to a quote I’d encountered earlier in the day in a novel by Michael Phillips that I’m reading:

“People can be bitter over their marks of individuality. Or they can be thankful and let God use them to deepen compassion and character within them. I believe you are a better and more understanding and compassionate person because of the way God made you… [Y]ou really can thank God… because it has helped form your character inside… I love you so much! How could God not love you infinitely more than I do?”

It’s not always easy to find reasons to be thankful for circumstances we don’t understand. How can we wrap our minds around the idea of God’s lavish grace when life is painful and nothing makes sense? Eventually it comes down to a question of faith—do I trust Him with what I can’t yet see? Along the way, questions may be unanswered and emotions will rise, but God never changes. He can handle our questions and doubts, our fear and anger. Another character in the same book says:

“Asking God why things happen is, it seems to me, an integral part of what it means for a mortal to walk in faith, for we wouldn’t ask if we didn’t have faith that God knows the answer! But we do not see as God does. Much appears evil and unfair to our obscured sight. But we are nevertheless commanded to walk in faith, trusting in his sight more than we trust in our own. We can and perhaps should ask him why, as long as we trust him even when answers may be slow to come… God’s goodness is and must remain the foundation. With the underpinnings of goodness and trustworthiness solid, any number of questions, even doubts, even crying angrily to God as Job did—all these are allowed.”

So whether your paths are pleasant or painful, whether they divert you from disaster or take you through the valley of the shadow of death, thank God for His loving kindness and lavish grace. One day everything that is now hidden from us will be brought to light, and God’s glory will be fully revealed.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV).

© 2016 Dawn Rutan. 

Inside Out and Upside Down

I came across the following quote from Dennis Jernigan, an author and songwriter I respect:

“Temptation does not equal identity. Feelings do not equal identity. Jesus was tempted in every manner - EVERY MANNER - just as we are, yet without sinning! That tells me temptation does not define me. Temptation compels me toward Jesus! It has been through seeking Jesus and finding out Who He says He is that I have discovered who He says I am. In other words, I simply put off the lies of who I thought I was and put on the truth of who Father God says I am. …In the process, I changed the way I thought. As my thoughts changed, so did my attitude. As my attitude changed, so did the way I feel. As my feelings and attitudes and thoughts changed, so did my behavior! Why? Because I act according to who I think I am! God changed my identity, making me a new creation!”

I’ve found that he echoes some of the same thoughts the Apostle Paul shared in Colossians:

“These [outward rules] have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh. If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (2:23-3:2 ESV).

Too often we approach the Christian life as if it is all about sin management. We make rules to try to protect ourselves from temptation, but we never get to the level of heart change. While it’s great to have accountability and to avoid places and things that might lead to temptation, that can only go so far in managing “the indulgence of the flesh.”

Although we’re told that God will “provide the way of escape” from temptation, that is not His primary method of enabling us to change. God works from the inside out. He starts by making us new creations, and as we come to believe what He has said is true, then our thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors begin to change to align with that truth. Christianity isn’t about behavior modification, but heart transformation. As God said through Ezekiel, “I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (36:26).

Theologian Dallas Willard contends that managing sin is only one small part of the work of God:

“History has brought us to the point where the Christian message is thought to be essentially concerned only with how we deal with sin: with wrongdoing or wrong-being and its effects. Life, our actual existence, is not included in what is now presented as the heart of the Christian message, or it is included only marginally” (The Divine Conspiracy, 41).

He goes on to say:

“The issue… is whether we are alive to God or dead to him. Do we walk in an interactive relationship with him that constitutes a new kind of life, life ‘from above’? As the apostle John says in his first letter, ‘God has given undying life to us, and that life is in his Son, Those who have the Son have life’ (1 John 5:11-12).

“What must be emphasized in all of this is the difference between trusting Christ, the real person Jesus, with all that that naturally involves, versus trusting some arrangement for sin-remission set up through him—trusting only his role as guilt remover. To trust the real person Jesus is to have confidence in him in every dimension of our real life, to believe that he is right about and adequate to everything” (48-49).

Although sin is a hindrance to our relationship with God and is often the thing we are most conscious of, that may not be our greatest need as we learn to walk in our new identity in Christ. He has already dealt with sin and its consequences on the cross for us. Now we are being conformed to His image day by day. That will result in growing freedom from sin and temptation, but that’s not the main emphasis. That should be encouraging news. Our struggle is not with combating sin and the flesh so much as it is recognizing Christ’s work for us and in us. It’s not about the negatives, but the positives. It’s not just turning from sin, but it is pursuing God and taking hold of every spiritual blessing in Christ Jesus.

“Put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24).

© 2015 Dawn Rutan. 

Does It Ever End?

I’ve been realizing anew one of the challenges of growing in Christ in this life: sin. (Big surprise, right?) The thing is, it’s a constant cycle of recognizing sin, repenting, and growing in obedience. When one sin is conquered, another seems to pop up in its place. It’s a bit like peeling the layers of an onion, but the onion never seems to get any smaller. This was the analogy that C.S. Lewis drew on for The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in describing Eustace’s efforts to remove his dragon skin:

“But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that’s all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I’ll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.

“Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off?”

He learned that he had to let the Lion cut through to the deepest layers to get rid of his dragon nature. While the same is true for us, we won’t realize complete freedom from sin in this lifetime. Only the resurrection to new life will make us as we were meant to be.

It’s amazing how easily we deceive ourselves about sin. I know there have been times when I was not conscious of any current sin, but I’m pretty certain that I was just not looking very far. Some sins are subtle enough to slip in without our awareness, but others get adopted as permanent members of the family. We may subconsciously decide they aren’t worth fighting, particularly if they aren’t seen to be hurting anyone else—a little pride here, a little envy there, a bit of judgmentalism, along with a lot of failures to love one another.

Seventeenth century theologian John Owens had many good quotes on the subject:

“Do you mortify [sin]? Do you make it your daily work? Be always at it whilst you live; cease not a day from this work; be killing sin or it will be killing you.”

“Let no man think to kill sin with few, easy, or gentle strokes. He who hath once smitten a serpent, if he follow not on his blow until it be slain, may repent that ever he began the quarrel. And so he who undertakes to deal with sin, and pursues it not constantly to the death.”

The Apostle Paul made some similar comments: “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Romans 8:13 ESV). “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5). I’ll be the first to say that that’s easier said than done. Sin doesn’t want to die, and the enemy doesn’t want us to conquer it. Failure is sure to bring discouragement, and success only changes the field of battle, but we don’t have the option of giving up the fight.

As I’ve been endeavoring to memorize Romans 8 this year, I have needed the frequent reminders that although we’re still waiting for creation to “be set free from its bondage to corruption” (v. 21), we are on the side of ultimate victory. We have God as our Father (v. 15); we have the righteousness of Jesus (v. 4); and we have the Spirit interceding for us (v. 26). Though the battle seems unending, “we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (v. 37).

The familiar song “Day by Day” from Godspell borrows a prayer ascribed to the 13th-century English bishop Saint Richard of Chichester, and that is my prayer as well:

“May I know Thee more clearly,
Love Thee more dearly,
Follow Thee more nearly.”

© 2015 Dawn Rutan.

Come Forth

Recently I was reading a fiction book by Staci Stallings that included the following comment in a pastor’s sermon, “Over and over again, He says, ‘I understand. I understand. I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there, but you don’t have to stay there. See, I have rolled back the stone on your tomb too.’” That created an interesting mental picture for me. How often does God have to remind us that we don’t have to live in the tomb anymore? Our subconscious thoughts are often like this:

• “I’ve sinned; excuse me while I go sit in the tomb.”
• “I’m angry; I want to be alone in my hole.”
• “Someone hurt me; just let me curl up in my cave.”
• “I’m a failure; I don’t deserve to come into the light.”

But God keeps saying “The stone has been rolled away! Come out into life and light. My Son took care of every sin and shame so you can walk in freedom. This tomb is not your home anymore.” Jesus asked the man at the pool of Bethesda (John 5:6 ESV), “Do you want to be healed?” In other words, do you want to leave behind what is familiar and comfortable and come out of your tomb?

Sometimes we invite others to join us in our tombs by seeking sympathy rather than the encouragement and help to find our way out. We indulge in gossip, slander, and bitterness rather than forgiving. And sometimes we put others back in their tombs through shame and judgmentalism rather than helping them to find freedom in Christ. We also have an enemy who is glad to make us think we’re still dead in our trespasses and sins in order to keep us from being who God has called us to be and doing all He has called us to do (Ephesians 2:4-10).

The New Testament writers felt the need to remind believers of their true freedom:

•  “Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God” (1 Peter 2:16).
• “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17).
• “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

As with all areas of the Christian life, we have to know the truth in order to live by it. Jesus said, “If you abide in My word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free… So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:31-32, 36). This knowing and testing is the process of transforming the mind set out in Romans 12:1-2.

I don’t know about you, but I want to live in greater freedom, no longer bound by the old grave clothes. 

Not Enough

This blog is sort of a meal in progress—I’ve been chewing on these thoughts for awhile now and I’m just beginning to digest and make sense of them. The question now is whether I can verbalize in a few paragraphs the thought processes of a few years.

Thomas Chalmers, often quoted by John Piper and others, referred to “the expulsive power of a new affection.” He explained that we can’t simply choose to turn away from sin without turning to something we perceive to be more fulfilling. “The best way of casting out an impure affection is to admit a pure one; and by the love of what is good, to expel the love of what is evil.” That’s an accurate and helpful thought, but a bit misleading if we think it happens overnight. Becoming a Christian or rededicating your life to Christ does not immediately expel every competing desire, no matter how much we might wish it to do so. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve wondered about this—I love God and I seek to serve Him and obey Him. Scripture says “we are more than conquerors” (Romans 8:37), so why does this struggle still exist?

However, even in the midst of these questions, as I look back on the past few years I can see tangible progress that I never thought possible. I’ve tried to determine where the change occurred, and what I’ve found is a series of small decisions that have compounded over time:

• choosing to confide in my pastor and seek his counsel
• getting more serious about filling my mind with Scripture through reading and memorization
• joining small group Bible studies
• journaling my thoughts and prayers
• getting rid of some of the books, videos, and TV shows that consume my brain with destructive images
• trusting people with some of my secrets
• and even blogging about the things I’m learning along the way

None of those things were major changes in themselves, and none of them alone have the power to change my desires. None of them were a direct confrontation with sin either. But all of them, together with God’s grace and mercy, have served to expel some of those competing desires from my heart, even some that I didn’t feel any urgency to stop.

I ran across this quote by Shellie Rushing Tomlinson in Heart Wide Open:

“God reserves His intimacy for those unwilling to settle for anything less. If going to church is enough, if being around others who are passionate about Him is enough, if anything short of realizing His intimate presence for ourselves is enough, that’s all we’ll ever experience… Indeed, God placed this desire for more in us so that we might search for Him of our own volition. I’ve taken to calling it a blessed dissatisfaction. God knows that yielding our lives to Him brings us this life’s ultimate pleasure, but unlike me and my man, He’s not going to force anyone to go along with His plan… I didn’t realize that looking and listening for Him in His Word would create in me the sweetest of addictions to His friendship. I was simply ready to admit that what I had wasn’t enough. I was soon to discover that at the core of my ‘not having enough Jesus’ problem lay all my previous efforts to have ‘just enough’ Jesus” (19-21).

She puts her finger on the problem that many of us face. We want just enough Jesus to save us and make us feel good, but not so much that it interferes with our chosen lifestyles. We may want to stop a particular sin, but we don’t want to give up our freedom to choose what we watch or read or do in our free time. We don’t want to admit that the solution for slavery to sin is to become slaves of God (see Romans 6). We want some middle ground of freedom from sin while remaining masters of our own lives.

It would be easy to become judgmental about the choices that others are making, but I’ve been in the same place myself. In fact, being judgmental was one thing that kept me from changing for a long time. I subconsciously thought, “I’ve been to Bible college and seminary. I go to church every week. I work for a Christian organization. I’m doing the best I can, and I’m certainly better than those people.” But I’m sure that God allowed circumstances in my life to converge to make me realize that “just enough” wasn’t good enough. Not that I thought God would love me more if I changed, but that my desperation made me want to love Him more.

Though we probably wouldn’t say this aloud, we can get sucked into believing that grace means we can do whatever we want. We can also be deceived to think that salvation by grace alone means we don’t have to work to grow in our faith. In the theological battle against works righteousness, “obedience” has become a dirty word that pastors are afraid to use. As a result, people remain enslaved to sins when God would love to set them free. We settle for the status quo instead of seeking the One who has the power to expel all our old affections. God’s life-changing power is rarely revealed with volcanic force, but rather with the pervasive tenacity of a seedling nurtured by ordinary means of grace.

I certainly don’t feel like I have arrived, and I’m sure there are areas where I need to change that I haven’t even noticed yet. God isn’t done yet. In the words of the old hymn (public domain):

“I sought the Lord, and afterward I knew
He moved my heart to seek Him, seeking me;
It was not I that found, O Savior true;
No, I was found by Thee.”

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised.” -2 Corinthians 5:13-14

Wrong Again

I’ve shared some quotes from Ed Tandy McGlasson’s book The Father You’ve Always Wanted, and he makes some good points. However, someone reading the book might get the false impression that when a person becomes a Christian and accepts God as their Father, they will immediately become a perfect father or mother themselves. There is a brief clarifying sentence near the end of the book, “That wasn’t the day I became perfect—that day will never come on this earth, as my wife and kids can testify!”

An apt illustration comes from Killjoys: The Seven DeadlySins. In the chapter on anger, Jonathan Parnell writes:

“The most consistent cause of my anger is the disobedience of my children. On one hand, it is right to be appropriately incensed by their foolish behavior. I love them, and the trajectory of their foolishness is harm. But on the other hand, their disobedience isn’t always the real issue. The tricky question is whether I am angry because I’ve been inconvenienced by their disobedience. If I am loving my children more than myself, my anger responds to their disobedience with patient and particular care and discipline... But if I’m mainly concerned with myself, my anger is not love for them; it only deals with the inconvenience their disobedience is to me... I am loving myself at that moment, not my children.”

It seems a little silly to have to say it, but there are no perfect parents besides God. We’re all screwed up people who hurt one another even when we have the best of intentions. Access to the wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit does not guarantee that we will always make the best decisions or that they will be received as such. The steadfast love of God does not keep us from causing pain at times. First John 4:18 says that “perfect love casts out fear,” but God is the only One able to love perfectly at all times. I was a bit surprised to find that the Bible never instructs us to trust one another, and in fact usually urges caution against trusting anyone besides God.

We wouldn’t have to be told to forgive one another if there weren’t harms being done even among those who are dedicated Christians. I return again to Colossians 3:12-13— “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Paul wrote this to believers, the “saints and faithful brothers in Christ at Colossae” (1:2), not to unbelievers or just to those who were recently converted. We need these instructions every day of our Christian lives. We’re all works in progress, but we sometimes forget that fact. We sin intentionally or unintentionally; we err in judgment and understanding; we make incorrect assumptions and have misplaced expectations.

Those we most love and trust are the ones who hold the most power to hurt us. Vulnerability can be quite painful. I’ve been there recently, and it’s not a pleasant place to dwell, nor any easy hole to climb out of. But I recognize the fact that the choice to avoid pain is also to avoid love. It may be somewhat easier to live behind walls, but it’s also joyless. Even as I’ve been hurt, I find myself reaching out to trusted friends rather than retreating to the fortress as I would have in the past.

Forgiveness may be the greatest and hardest lesson we need to learn, both in our relationship with God and with one another. We are forgiven by God, so we can forgive ourselves and forgive others. God has extended more grace and mercy than we could ever begin to earn, so we can learn to do the same for our fellow imperfect brothers and sisters in Christ. I’m sure it will never be easy, but by grace perhaps we can make progress.

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” -1 Peter 4:8

Blossoms Through Brokenness

I don’t usually share my art, but I wanted to make a couple comments on these two recent drawings. These were inspired by a question from the Chase Bible study by Jennie Allen asking what God is looking for in us and what He is chasing after in us. It occurred to me that God is looking for growth to come from our wounded hearts. He rarely waits until our wounds have healed completely before He uses them for His good purposes. Indeed He can even bring fruitfulness out of brokenness.

That can be a bit of a challenge when we’re hurting and looking for healing and relief. That’s not always God’s first priority with our pain. He allows difficulty in our lives not to disable us, but to make us useful to His kingdom for His glory.

After drawing these, I was reminded of a scene in the allegory Hinds’Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. The main character, whose name started out as Much-Afraid, was renamed Grace and Glory, after which the Shepherd instructed her “Open your heart and let us see what is there:”

“At his word she laid bare her heart, and out came the sweetest perfume she had ever breathed and filled all the air around them with its fragrance. There in her heart was a plant whose shape and form could not be seen because it was covered all over with pure white, almost transparent blooms, from which the fragrance poured forth. 

“Grace and Glory gave a little gasp of wonder and thankfulness. ‘How did it get there, my Lord and King?’ she exclaimed.

“‘Why, I planted it there myself,’ was his laughing answer. ‘Surely you remember down there by the sheep pool in the Valley of Humiliation, on the day that you promised to go with me to the High Places. It is the flower from the thorn-shaped seed.’”

Those thorns that pierce our hearts now may one day blossom into something beautiful for God’s glory, and that day may come sooner than we think. The fragrance of the blooms may be found in remaining faithful (1 Peter 1:6-7), enduring suffering (1 Peter 2:19), comforting others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4), praying for others (Revelation 8:3), doing good (Galatians 6:9), growing in grace (2 Peter 3:18), sanctification (1 Corinthians 6:11), and scores of other ways. Whenever we let our wounds drive us closer to God those seeds start to grow. Just as a broken bone is stimulated to grow in order to mend itself, a broken heart is enabled to grow in love for others.

Even though we may not see the growth ourselves, God knows, and we have the assurance that one day “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

Images copyright © 2015 Dawn Rutan. All rights reserved.