Bring It All

I believe a lot of Christians approach faith as an intellectual exercise. This may be particularly true of those in Reformed traditions where having correct theology and being able to defend our beliefs has been elevated to the capstone of life. Seminaries often feed into this perception and can lead pastors to intellectualize their preaching and teaching. Certainly we want pastors who can study and faithfully interpret Scripture, but correct theology is not necessarily life-transforming.

I know I have fallen into this trap quite often. Some of us have personality traits and family origins that are more prone to this. I value and pursue knowledge of many different subjects, Scripture included. At the same time, a lot of the Christian authors I’ve read have implied that emotions are meant to be ignored. “Just preach the truth to yourself and your emotions will fall into line.” There may be a kernel of truth to that, but I’ve rarely found it to be that clear cut. Part of the difficulty comes from not knowing what I’m feeling or why I feel that way to begin with. It’s hard to come up with relevant biblical truth if I don’t know what wounds or misconceptions need to be addressed. I’ve slowly learned that simply trying to suppress the troubling thoughts or feelings doesn’t really solve anything. They still live to fight another day. “Denying yourself” doesn’t mean ignoring what’s going on inside.

Jesus invited us, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). But if we are trying to deny our burdens, we may not even realize that we are in need of rest. It was prophesied that Jesus would be “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief… Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (Is. 53:3-4). He never said “What you are feeling is irrelevant, just trust Me,” but He did remind the disciples that suffering would not last forever.

Even the great apostle Paul wrote at different times, “I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart” (Rom. 9:1), and “we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself” (2 Cor. 1:8). He didn’t downplay his difficulties, and he didn’t ask the churches to pray that he wouldn’t feel this way. He was able to say instead, “we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Rom. 5:3-5). He acknowledged the pain while still clinging to God in faith.

How then does this impact our approach to faith? First, we need to remember that we can bring our true selves to God. He doesn’t expect us to sanitize our thoughts and come with heads held high and smiles on our faces. He knows where we struggle even better than we know ourselves. We can drag our broken bodies and wounded hearts to Him at any and all times.

Second and very practically, rather than pursuing prayer and Bible reading as an academic exercise, sometimes (or perhaps often) we can take time to examine our hearts and see what things are currently causing anxiety, sorrow, anger, and uncertainty. Then we can go to God with whatever our greatest concerns are right now. I think we often miss out on experiencing God’s love and grace because we don’t actually take all our burdens to Him.

The practice of self-examination goes back many centuries, and is not some kind of new age mysticism. Scripture tells us to examine ourselves preceding communion (1 Cor. 11:28), but it’s certainly not limited to that time or to issues of sin. Jesus said, “But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life” (Luke 21:34a emphasis added). This kind of self-awareness is not selfish, but living humbly and authentically before our Lord and Savior. Since Jesus welcomed the little children with their unhindered and vibrant emotions (Matt. 19:14), how could He not embrace all of us the same way?

“All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and whoever comes to Me I will never cast out” (John 6:37).

“If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink” (John 7:37).

(These thoughts have been greatly influenced by things I’ve heard and read recently from Steve Cuss, Alasdair Groves, and Chuck DeGroat.)

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Do It Anyway

More than a year ago I collected the following quotes as potential fodder for my blog, though little explanation is required.

“We live in what one writer has called the ‘age of sensation.’ We think that if we don’t feel something there can be no authenticity in doing it. But the wisdom of God says something different: that we can act ourselves into a new way of feeling much quicker than we can feel ourselves into a new way of acting. Worship is an act that develops feelings for God, not a feeling for God that is expressed in an act of worship. When we obey the command to praise God in worship, our deep, essential need to be in relationships with God is nurtured” (Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, 48).

“How does one feel thankful? ...It seems to be something which disappears or becomes a mere word the moment one recognizes one ought to be feeling it. I always tell people not to bother about ‘feelings’ in their prayers, and above all never to try to feel, but I’m a bit puzzled about Gratitude: for if it is not a feeling, what is it? A funny thing how merely formulating a question awakes the conscience! ...Act your gratitude and let feelings look after themselves” (C.S. Lewis, Yours, Jack, 95).

“...we have no power to make ourselves love God. The only way is absolute obedience to Him, total surrender. He will give us the ‘feeling’ if He pleases. But both when He does and when He does not, we shall gradually learn that feeling is not the important thing. There is something in us deeper than feeling, deeper even than conscious will. It is rather being. When we are quite empty of self we shall be filled with Him” (Ibid. 101).

“Feelings come and go, and when they come a good use can be made of them: they cannot be our regular spiritual diet” (C.S. Lewis, The World’s Last Night, 109).

These days we might hear someone say, “I don’t feel like going to church... reading my Bible... praying.” But could you benefit from doing it anyway? “I don’t feel like praising God?” But isn’t He worthy of praise at all times? There are a lot of things in life that we do whether we feel like it or not. And although faith isn’t a “to do” list, there are times when we simply have to trust that doing what God has instructed in His Word will be good for us in the end.

The spiritual disciplines have gotten lost in some Christian traditions, because they are confused with works-based salvation. Their value lies not in saving us, but in drawing our attention back to the One who did save us and gives purpose to our existence. Let us therefore draw near to God in worship and gratitude.

“Rejoice always, praying without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:16-18).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Conflicting Feelings

If there were one historical figure (not including those mentioned in the Bible) that I could invite to speak at my church sometime, I might choose John Newton. Probably most Christians know that he was a slave trader turned cleric and abolitionist, and the author of “Amazing Grace.” I just came across another hymn that he wrote:

Conflicting Feelings

Strange and mysterious is my life.

What opposites I feel within!

A stable peace, a constant strife;

The rule of grace, the power of sin:

Too often I am captive led,

Yet daily triumph in my Head [Christ].

I prize the privilege of prayer,

But oh! what backwardness to pray!

Though on the Lord I cast my care,

I feel its burden every day;

I seek His will in all I do,

Yet find my own is working too.

I call the promises my own,

And prize them more than mines of gold;

Yet though their sweetness I have known,

They leave me unimpressed and cold

One hour upon the truth I feed,

The next I know not what I read.

I love the holy day of rest,

When Jesus meets His gathered saints;

Sweet day, of all the week the best!

For its return my spirit pants:

Yet often, through my unbelief,

It proves a day of guilt and grief.

While on my Savior I rely,

I know my foes shall lose their aim,

And therefore dare their power defy,

Assured of conquest through His name,

But soon my confidence is slain,

And all my fears return again.

Thus different powers within me strive,

And grace and sin by turns prevail;

I grieve, rejoice, decline, revive,

And victory hangs in doubtful scale:

But Jesus has His promise passed,

That grace shall overcome at last.

***

I think that sometimes we in the church, especially those who have been Christians for many years, may tend to give others the impression that we no longer struggle with sin. Some may be judgmental toward others whose sins are more public. Our sins may not be as evident, but we all still have them. Newton’s hymn illustrates how easily we slide into unbelief, no matter how much faith we may exercise at other times.

There are some hymns that I don’t like to sing, because they give the false impression that true Christians can overcome every doubt and sin in this life (for example “Since I’ve Learned to Trust Him More” by Francis Blackmer). On the other hand, I don’t want to give my sin more weight than it should have, because I know that all my sins—past, present, and future—were carried to the cross and forgiven by Jesus’ blood. Newton seems to strike the right balance between “This is my experience, but this is what is true of me in Christ.” Near the end of his life he said, “I remember two things very clearly: I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.”

The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans, “So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (6:11-12). But a chapter later he said, “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (7:18b-19). If even Paul had this struggle, can we be any better? We all need reminders that we are great sinners, but Christ is a great Savior.” We can proclaim along with Paul, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!” (8:1). His grace, mercy, and love will have the final word in our lives.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever” (Psalm 136:1).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan text and photo. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.