Indescribable

Recently I was reminded of a couple stories I heard in children’s church when I was young. The teacher liked to read from a book of Christianized stories. I don’t recall whether any instruction accompanied the stories, but what I realize now is how deficient they were in explaining the gospel. (As a side note, I shudder to think what kids might remember from my classes when I was on summer ministry teams during college.)

The first story, in brief, was that a fire swept through a barnyard and a mother hen protected her chicks by tucking them under her and sacrificing her life for theirs. The second story was of a drawbridge operator who brought his son to work one day. When he heard the horn of an approaching boat he discovered that his son was out on the gears that would raise the bridge. He had to decide whether to save his son or the people on the boat, and he chose to sacrifice his son.

Aside from the questionable choice to read such stories to children, there were definite misconceptions about how Jesus’s death on the cross came about and how we were saved through that sacrifice. A few corrective lessons come to mind.

1) The cross was no accident or last-minute decision. The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 1:4 that “God chose us in [Christ] before the foundation of the world.” And in Galatians 4:4-5, “But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.” Similarly, Peter wrote, “Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired carefully, inquiring what person or time the Spirit of Christ in them was indicating when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glories” (1 Pet. 1:10-11). The cross was not “plan B.”

2) Jesus was not an unwilling participant. God knew from before creation that mankind would need rescued from our sinful state, and the Trinity determined the plan before we knew we needed it. Jesus knew the time of His death was coming but still prayed “Thy will be done” (Luke 22:42), and then “for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb. 12:2).

3) We are not innocent bystanders, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by His grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 3:23-24). We weren’t just floating through life minding our own business, but instead were (and are) actively sinning against the God who created us. And though we did nothing to deserve it, God loved us enough to make a way for us. “But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8).

4) And flowing from that verse, Jesus didn’t have to convince God to save us. Sometimes gospel presentations make it sound like Jesus loved us first, and only because Jesus gave His life does God the Father love us. Thomas McCall wrote,

“God is for us. It is not part of God that is for us—as if some divine persons or some divine attributes were opposed to me while others are for me—it is just God who is, in the impassible simplicity of the trinitarian life, radically for us. The death of Jesus does not make it possible for God to love us. The death of Jesus makes it possible for us truly to know God’s love, makes it possible for us to love God.” [See TGC’s bookreview here.]

I heard a quote from Thomas McCabe’s Faith Within Reason (which I have not yet read so I’m not sure if I’d recommend or not) that is worth pondering:

“[God] is just waiting to welcome us with joy and love. Sin doesn’t alter God’s attitude to us; it alters our attitude to him, so that we change him from the God who is simply love and nothing else into this punitive ogre... God never changes his mind about you. He is simply in love with you. What he does again and again is change your mind about him. That is why you are sorry. That is what your forgiveness is.”

It’s so easy for us to misconstrue the gospel because we try to break it down into bite-sized ideas. When we do that, we minimize the glory of the whole arc of creation, fall, redemption, and restoration. We need to remember that our metaphors are just that—tiny, flawed pictures of something magnificent and awe-inspiring.

“How deep the Father’s love for us! How vast beyond all measure, that He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure!” (Stuart Townend, 1995).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Eternal Misconceptions

We all have ideas and images of what we think eternal life will be like. Some are biblical, some are not, and some are interesting possibilities. I realize with a post like this there will be differing opinions, and that’s okay. (You don’t need to tell me if you disagree!) I just want to provide a little food for thought.

Earth and Heaven- Let’s just get this one off the plate first: we aren’t going to live in heaven for eternity. God is making a new heavens and new earth (Isaiah 65:17; 2 Pet. 3:13; Rev. 21:1). There would be no point in a new earth if no one is going to dwell there. We’ll finally get to enjoy what this earth would have been like if sin had never entered the picture.

Humans and Angels- We are not going to look like angels (in whatever form you may picture them). When Jesus said that in the resurrection they “are like angels in heaven” (Matt. 22:30), we can’t ignore the context. He was referring specifically to marriage and our current earthly relationships, and we shouldn’t take that metaphor beyond that context. No one will be married except as the Bride of Christ (Rev. 19:6-9). However, we may have some powers that we don’t currently have. Jesus was able to walk through closed doors after He rose from the dead (John 20:26). I like to imagine instantaneous teleportation to wherever we want to go.

Who’s Who- We will somehow recognize those we have known in this life once we have our new bodies. It’s always puzzled me when people say they think we aren’t going to remember anything about this life. Scripture talks a lot about our responsibility to one another in the Body of Christ here on earth (1 Cor. 12; Eph. 4; etc.). Why would God emphasize that so much if we were going to lose all those connections in the new world? And in fact, why would He bother with the current world at all if He’s just going to create all new beings with eternal lives?

Praise and Worship- We will not be singing songs constantly. Revelation 4:8 says the “four living creatures… never cease to say, ‘Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!” Nowhere does Scripture say that humans will be doing the same. Certainly, we will have reason to give praise and thanks frequently and fervently, but there’s no reason to think it’s going to be one continuous gospel concert.

Work to Do- When God created the earth, He gave Adam and Eve work to do before sin entered the world and corrupted everything (Gen. 2:15). Sin just made the work a lot harder (Gen. 3:17-19). Work is a beneficial part of our existence, and by it we glorify God as we use the gifts He has given us. To imagine eternity as nothing but playing harps forever doesn’t sound all that appealing. Wandering around the earth seeing all the sights might be nice for a while, but I think it would get old after a couple millennia. But if we each get to participate in creative work in the areas that we are passionate about, we could glorify God and enjoy His creation in many varied ways. Some have speculated that there will still be nations, governments, and economics. Perhaps that will be the case, though we know that no one will lack what they need and there will be no conflict.

The End of Evil- Since I was raised in a conditionalist denomination, I have to include this final point, though I realize many would debate it. First Timothy 6:16 says that God “alone has immorality” and 1 Corinthians 15:42 says that “what is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable.” God gives eternal life to those who believe in Jesus (John 3:16), so it seems illogical that God would give eternal existence to the unsaved for the sole purpose of punishing them forever. I count myself among those who believe that hell is eternal in its results, not in its duration. There are theologians who can expand on that argument far better than I, but I’ll just note that aionion used in Matthew 25:46 and elsewhere can be translated “agelong.” And this present age will come to an end with Jesus’s return and the final judgment.

Whatever eternity is like, we are guaranteed that it will be perfect, enjoyable, and better than anything we can currently imagine.

“Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 21:3b-4).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Soft Hearts

As often happens to me, multiple information streams have converged on a unified theme this week, so this is kind of a compilation of those inputs and an extension of what I wrote last week. I was sharing this quote from C.S. Lewis with a friend:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable” (The Four Loves).

While I was typing that, this passage from Ezekiel came to mind:

“And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My rules and obey them. And they shall be My people, and I will be their God” (Ezek. 11:19-20).

So my immediate thought was that the goal of the Christian life is to have increasingly soft hearts, which means we are increasingly vulnerable, not impenetrable. Jesus fleshed this out (literally and metaphorically) to say that the heart of flesh that results in obedience is revealed by our love:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind... You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 22:37-40). “By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

And while I was pondering that, I listened to the latest sermon podcast from Immanuel Nashville, where Sam Allberry was preaching on Romans 15:7: “Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” He commented:

“What makes the church different isn’t that we’re committed to meeting together—lots of people are committed to meeting together. What is meant to be different is that there’s meant to be a uniqueness to the way we are with each other—for the glory of God... The word Paul is using for ‘welcome’ in the original text is a strong word. Other translations translate ‘Accept one another as Christ has accepted you.’ But ‘acceptance’ sounds like merely tolerating. We’re not to tolerate each other, because Christ hasn’t merely tolerated us. He’s welcomed us. So the kind of welcome Paul is speaking of here is a welcome of deep belonging, because Christ, through His death on the cross for us, has pulled us deep into His heart. That is what it means for Him to welcome us.”

He went on to illustrate what that looks like from various “one another” passages in the New Testament. I think many churches have settled for a rather anemic view of community and fellowship. I’ve heard somewhere that most churches think they are more welcoming of newcomers than they really are. And even people who have been in the church for years may not really be known by the people in the next pew. As Allberry noted, these days everyone needs encouragement, yet we assume that everyone else is fine because we never get close enough to find out. Are we truly welcoming people into the depths of our hearts, or are we just meeting together once or twice a week?

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Heb. 10:24-25).

***

Related resource:

This was a thought-provoking article on the difficulty of finding community:

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2024/july-august/confessions-loner-community-loneliness.html

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Light and Life

The BBC recently posted this video about an Australian weather caster’s on-air panic attack. I appreciate that they used this as an opportunity to educate and encourage their viewers. Things like this make me feel a little less like a misfit in the world. I’ve been fairly open about my own experiences with anxiety and depression, largely because I’m tired of trying to live up to some arbitrary standard of mental health that is elusive at best. Lately I haven’t been able to write my blog posts as often as I used to. When I have time to do so, my brain either descends into fog or jumps and spirals down miscellaneous disconnected paths.

This week I was reading the beginning of 1 John:

“If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:7-8).

I realize that the context is that of walking in holiness and righteousness, confessing our sin to God, and receiving His forgiveness. At the same time, I think we all know that sin is not the only thing we like to keep hidden in darkness. Church culture often tends to avoid revealing any weakness or struggle. Even in small groups it can take a long time to trust one another enough to share our heaviest burdens. (I’ve experienced the awkward silence of a group who didn’t know how to respond to me.) Yet if we can’t share those hard things, how do we ever expect to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16)? Vulnerability has to start somewhere.

In the definition of the Greek word aletheia, Biblehub includes the following: “truth, but not merely truth as spoken; truth of idea, reality, sincerity... In ancient Greek culture, aletheia was synonymous for ‘reality’ as the opposite of illusion.” Sometimes it seems as though we are determined to keep up the illusion of competency and self-sufficiency, even though Scripture clearly says that we are meant to be dependent on God and on one another (2 Cor. 3:5-6, 9:8, 12:9, Gal. 6:2, et al).

Younger generations are more likely to value authenticity, though for many that has come to mean “Affirm me in my sinful state.” That is not the goal of Christian fellowship. We are to share our burdens, struggles, temptations, and sin in order to be lifted up, cleansed, and enabled to love and serve God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Certainly there are times when confidentiality is necessary, and some people cannot be trusted with personal information, but in general the Church should be a place where it is safe to admit our deepest needs and where we can pray for more than just physical problems.

I used to think that Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart” (NIV), meant to not let anyone get close enough to know what was going on inside. It’s taken me a long time to realize that guarding your heart isn’t done by keeping everyone at a distance, but by allowing trustworthy people close enough to see the wounds and struggles so they can be a source of healing and hope.

Jesus said that not only is He the Light of the world (John 8:12), but that we are too (Matt. 5:14). We have the privilege and responsibility of shining the light of His truth into all the dark spots that keep us from loving God and loving one another as we should. His light shining through us brings life to that which is dead and dying inside.

“Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12b).

***

Related resource: Why the American Church Can’t Fix Loneliness by Russell Moore

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Untangled

There is a lot of talk these days about “deconstructing faith,” which usually is interpreted to mean throwing out Christianity entirely, or at least divorcing it from any relationship to the Church (as if that were truly possible). I recently read Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear, by Jinger Duggar Vuolo. I like her terminology of disentangling faith—separating the manmade rules and ideas from what Scripture actually teaches. I think all of us need to do that to some extent.

I grew up in churches of various denominations since we moved frequently, although my parents always claimed the denomination of their youth. I can remember hearing my dad explain Advent Christian distinctives to the pastors of whatever churches we attended, so much so that I knew those distinctives better than I knew the gospel. I don’t recall much preaching or teaching about grace or our identity in Christ. It wasn’t until I was in seminary that I realized that most of the denominations we had been involved with were pretty legalistic. All I remember hearing is what we were supposed to do or not do to be good Christians, and it was certainly implied that we had to be careful lest God reject us. I’ve written before about the fear that I was disappointing God, and when I expressed that fear in college I was not given any kind of reassurance that God knew all that and loved me anyway.

I definitely needed to disentangle what I had been taught from what I now know to be true. Sometimes I had someone to disciple me, but often I had to make sense of things on my own. I’ve been blessed to find a number of authors and speakers who present the Word of God with clarity, and I’ve spent a lot of time in Scripture as well. During a period of church turmoil it would have been easy, and it was tempting, to turn my back on the establishment. But after wrestling with God, I knew that wasn’t really an option, and I’ve never looked back.

One of the tangles we find ourselves in is that we live in a world of celebrity pastors and instant news. So every moral failure or incorrect statement gets magnified, and not only creates confusion and problems for their churches but also for all their other followers. We can’t let our own faith be corrupted or even destroyed by the failures and deception of men. There is only one Man who lived a perfect life, and He is the one we need to focus on and follow. Every other person will sin, fail, and speak falsehood at times, because none of us have perfect knowledge and discernment. Even the Apostle Paul said, “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing” (Rom. 7:18b-19).

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote in Discipleship in his chapter on the Sermon on the Mount (ch 6):

“The disciples should not think that they could simply flee from the world and stay safely in the small group on the narrow path. False prophets will come among them, and the confusion will make their isolation even greater... A prophet or preacher stands there, a Christian by appearances, words, and deeds. But internally dark motives are driving him to us... To what should we hold fast, if we hear how the word of Jesus draws the separation between the community and the world, and then within the community until the last judgment? If nothing is left to us, neither our confession nor obedience? Then the only thing left is his word: I have known you. This is his everlasting word, his everlasting call.”

Jesus Christ is the One we look to as our Savior and Lord, the One who defines truth and knows those who are His own. But we are to follow our Shepherd together as the Body of Christ, not independently and in isolation.

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me” (John 10:27).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Just Me

When you imagine the Apostle Paul, what sort of man do you see? A bold, fiery evangelist, unconcerned about what people think of him and unafraid of confronting sin? Certainly there are some examples of that in Scripture, such as when he opposed Peter for acting hypocritically (Gal. 2:11-14), and when Elymas the magician was deceiving the proconsul (Acts 13:6-12). However, there are other verses that paint a different picture:

“And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling” (1 Cor. 2:3).

“I, Paul, myself entreat you, by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—I who am humble when face to face with you, but bold toward you when I am away!” (2 Cor. 10:1).

“[Pray] also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak” (Eph. 6:19-20).

If those were the only descriptions you had of Paul, you might imagine him as a rather timid fellow, perhaps the way Timothy is often pictured. It can be easy to overlook a few verses when they don’t fit with our preconceived ideas. MacLaren’s Exposition of Acts 7 says this about Paul’s conversion experience:

“An overwhelming conviction flooded his soul that He whom he had taken to be an impostor, richly deserving the Cross that He endured, was living in glory, and was revealing Himself to Saul then and there. That truth crumbled his whole past into nothing; and he stood there trembling and astonished, like a man the ruins of whose house have fallen about his ears.”

No doubt Paul ended up questioning all that he thought was true, including how he needed to relate to these Christians he had despised. What he had previously considered as strengths were now his weaknesses (Phil 3:3-11).

Even those of us who have grown up in church may trust in the wrong things. We may rely on our natural abilities rather than God’s strength. Or we may assume that we are supposed to fit a particular stereotype if we are “good Christians” fulfilling God’s commands to evangelize and make disciples. If that were the case, God sure wasted a lot of creativity on humanity.

As some have said, we are uniquely created on purpose and for a purpose. There are a lot of people in the world and in church that I don’t understand, and I can’t imagine what it’s like to live their lives. They are probably just as baffled by me. We have different personalities, interests, abilities, and communication styles. God can use all of those things for His purposes if we submit them to His lordship. If we don’t, they are likely to trip us up and may cause us to glorify ourselves rather than God.

I’m probably more like Timothy than Paul, but mostly I’m just me, as God created me, redeemed me, and is sanctifying me. And that’s okay.

“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness” (2 Cor. 11:30).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Amidst the Unknown

In his book Seasons of Sorrow, Tim Challies shares meditations on the death of his only son at the age of 20. He comments,

“God is working out his good will, not despite dark days, difficult trials, and broken hearts, but through them. Such circumstances are the raw material he uses to form and shape his good plans, his perfect purposes... The history of God’s work is this world is full of such ‘afterwards.’ Joseph had to be for many years a slave before he could be a ruler and declare to his brothers, ‘God sent me before you to preserve life’ and ‘you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.’ Moses’s mother had to set him afloat on the river and release him to be raised by a foreign princess before she knew her son would lead the great exodus.”

I would add a few details to that: Jacob lived for many years believing that his beloved son Joseph was dead, and only in his old age did he find out that Joseph was alive and well in Egypt. Moses’s mother is not mentioned in Scripture after her baby was weaned and adopted into the royal family. There is no evidence that she was even alive when Moses returned to lead the people out of Egypt. She likely died knowing only that her son had fled the palace.

There was also Job, afflicted in almost every conceivable way, and trying to figure out what God was up to in his life. It appears that God never did answer why it all happened, and only reminded Job that He was still sovereign. In addition, there were many generations of Israelites in the Promised Land awaiting the Messiah and wondering when God was going to fulfill His promises.

Jesus told His disciples, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand” (John 13:7). Eleven of them found out the truth a few days later and were emboldened to preach the gospel to a hostile world. But one died in his despair, not believing that he could ever be forgiven for betraying his Lord.

There is much in this life that we cannot know or understand now. Some of our questions may be answered in short order, and some may not be answered even in eternity. I truly believe that God is working all things together for good for His children, but many times I wish I knew exactly what good He is planning to bring about and what His schedule is. His good purposes will probably look somewhat different in each of us. I don’t know why Tim Challies lost his son at the beginning of a life of faithful ministry, but I am glad to read his thoughts as he has processed this with God at his side. I don’t know what good comes through having a parent with Alzheimer’s (though I’m learning). I don’t know why a teenager gets cancer or a young man rebels. As Challies notes, “Our lives are not our own. They never are. They never were. ‘In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind’” (Job 12:10).

I can only speak for myself, but I am (ever so slowly) learning a few good things that come out of a lifetime of recurring depression. I am more conscious of my weakness and my need for God’s strength to keep carrying me through the valleys. I am more honest and more likely to reach out to others for help and encouragement. I am more faithful in praying for others I know who are struggling in various ways. In these small ways I am becoming more like Christ and, hopefully, contributing to the needs of His Body here on earth. I don’t know what the future holds, and I can’t even begin to fathom the “eternal weight of glory” (2 Cor. 4:17) that is to come. But from where I am today, would I erase depression from my life story if I could? No. God has used it to make me who I am now and who I will be in the future, and I trust that His plan is best even if I can’t fully understand it.

“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth” (Heb. 11:13).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Waiting and Hoping

When I saw the latest episode title on one of the podcasts I follow, I knew I had to listen right away: Hope + Help for Waiting on God. Mark Vroegop’s new book, Waiting Isn’t a Waste, is one I’ll get as soon as it is released. I know I’m not good at waiting, and it’s something I’ve been wrestling with recently. A particular arena of uncertainty about the future had me anxiously awaiting a resolution. I searched for ways around the waiting without success. So some of Vroegop’s comments in the podcast hit home (and perhaps stepped on my toes a bit).

He notes that in Scripture the Hebrew word that is often translated as waiting is synonymous with hope. (Some time back I had noticed the same of the Spanish word esperar.*) Yet so often we wait without hope. Which brings me to the next point I noted in the podcast. When we are waiting, we need to refocus our attention away from thing that is causing the gap in our knowledge and think instead on what we know about God. Here are a few of the truths that I’ve been returning to in the past several days:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose… to be conformed to the image of His Son…” (Rom. 8:28-29).

“I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and will execute justice for the needy. Surely the righteous shall give thanks to Your name; the upright shall dwell in Your presence” (Psalm 140:12-13).

“I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5b).

When I’m consumed with anxiety, I start thinking “yeah, but...” I know God is at work, but His ways are not my ways. I know He hears my prayers, but He doesn’t always answer them the way I want or expect. I know He will work all things for good, but I don’t know how long it will take. As C.S. Lewis wrote, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be” (Letters, 29 April 1959).

Vroegop also touches on the subject of evaluating our expectations. I want to control my world and the people in it, and dashed expectations hurt. It’s hard to remember and accept that God is working things for good when I can’t understand how He’s doing it or what good may come of it. I’m only now seeing the good that has come out of some things that happened years ago.

As I was anxiously waiting, I tried to think about what was actually under my control, which was not much. I could pray boldly and persistently (and I did), and I invited others to pray with me (which I don’t often do). Aside from that, I simply tried to trust God’s promises and His character more fully, and endeavored to “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:16-17).

It turned out that my anxiety-producing lack of knowledge was settled earlier than I expected and in the way that I desired. In reality, the answer was already decided long before I even had reason for anxiety. It was only my own knowledge of the circumstances that needed to be brought up to speed, which required an appointment with the one person who could tell me. Even if that hadn’t been the case, God already knew the answer before I started praying. But in His divine providence, He allowed the testing of my faith in order to make me depend on Him more fully, as well as to remind me that I am connected to people in His Body who are more than willing to pray for me. I wouldn’t have paid attention to a podcast about waiting if I had not had to wait. And I wouldn’t have heard or heeded the reminder that what we know to be true of God is always where we need to focus our attention.

Bruce Martin wrote in Desperate for Hope, “The more we reflect on the greatness of God, the more our perspective on the situation changes. We’re reminded that God is with us and he’s always up to something. We just can’t see it yet” (73).

“But they who wait for [NIV “hope in”] the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).

*Quiero esperar con esperanza!

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Encouraging Words

As we near the end of Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought I’d share a selection of resources that I’ve found helpful at different times in life, some of which I’ve quoted in prior blog posts. I may not agree with everything these authors and speakers share, but have generally found them to be helpful and encouraging.

Books

Glimmers of Grace, Kathryn Butler

What Does Depression Mean for My Faith? Kathryn Butler

Not Quite Fine: Mental Health, Faith, and Showing Up for One Another, Carlene Hill Byron

Midnight Mercies: Walking with God through Depression in Motherhood, Christine Chappell

Pursuing Health in an Anxious Age, Bob Cutillo

Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for those who Suffer from Depression, Zack Eswine

Darkness Is My Only Companion: A Christian Response to Mental Illness, Kathryn Greene-McCreight

Untangling Emotions, Alasdair Groves and Winston Smith

Companions in the Darkness, Diana Gruver

Blessed Are the Misfits, Brant Hansen

Embodied Hope: A Theological Meditation on Pain and Suffering, Kelly Kapic

You’re Only Human: How Your Limits Reflect God’s Design and Why That’s Good News, Kelly Kapic

Walking with God through Pain and Suffering, Tim Keller

When Darkness Seems My Closest Friend, Mark Meynell

A Christian’s Guide to Mental Illness, David Murray and Tom Karel, Jr.

Christians Get Depressed Too, David Murray

Sacred Endurance: Finding Grace and Strength for a Lasting Faith, Trillia Newbell

I Trust When Dark My Road, Todd Peperkorn (free pdf download!)

God’s Grace in Your Suffering, David Powlison

The Scars That Have Shaped Me: How God Meets Us in Suffering, Vaneetha Risner

Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness, Ed Welch

Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, Mark Vroegop

CSB Life Counsel Bible- contains many of the New Growth Press minibook series

Blogs

CCEF Blog

Penetrating the Darkness, Terry Powell

Podcasts

Hope + Help Podcast, Christine Chappell

CCEF Podcast, Alasdair Groves

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Do It Anyway

More than a year ago I collected the following quotes as potential fodder for my blog, though little explanation is required.

“We live in what one writer has called the ‘age of sensation.’ We think that if we don’t feel something there can be no authenticity in doing it. But the wisdom of God says something different: that we can act ourselves into a new way of feeling much quicker than we can feel ourselves into a new way of acting. Worship is an act that develops feelings for God, not a feeling for God that is expressed in an act of worship. When we obey the command to praise God in worship, our deep, essential need to be in relationships with God is nurtured” (Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, 48).

“How does one feel thankful? ...It seems to be something which disappears or becomes a mere word the moment one recognizes one ought to be feeling it. I always tell people not to bother about ‘feelings’ in their prayers, and above all never to try to feel, but I’m a bit puzzled about Gratitude: for if it is not a feeling, what is it? A funny thing how merely formulating a question awakes the conscience! ...Act your gratitude and let feelings look after themselves” (C.S. Lewis, Yours, Jack, 95).

“...we have no power to make ourselves love God. The only way is absolute obedience to Him, total surrender. He will give us the ‘feeling’ if He pleases. But both when He does and when He does not, we shall gradually learn that feeling is not the important thing. There is something in us deeper than feeling, deeper even than conscious will. It is rather being. When we are quite empty of self we shall be filled with Him” (Ibid. 101).

“Feelings come and go, and when they come a good use can be made of them: they cannot be our regular spiritual diet” (C.S. Lewis, The World’s Last Night, 109).

These days we might hear someone say, “I don’t feel like going to church... reading my Bible... praying.” But could you benefit from doing it anyway? “I don’t feel like praising God?” But isn’t He worthy of praise at all times? There are a lot of things in life that we do whether we feel like it or not. And although faith isn’t a “to do” list, there are times when we simply have to trust that doing what God has instructed in His Word will be good for us in the end.

The spiritual disciplines have gotten lost in some Christian traditions, because they are confused with works-based salvation. Their value lies not in saving us, but in drawing our attention back to the One who did save us and gives purpose to our existence. Let us therefore draw near to God in worship and gratitude.

“Rejoice always, praying without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:16-18).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Forgiven Indeed

In his book The Yellow Leaves, Frederick Buechner related the following:

“Frank Tracy Griswold, presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church... told me that once when he was taking a shower, he distinctly heard a voice from somewhere saying, ‘Why do you take your sins so much more seriously than I do?’ His first reaction, he said, was to burst into laughter. His second was to burst into tears.”

I had mixed feelings of my own when I read that. On one hand, sin is extremely serious. The smallest of offenses against the perfect, holy God is worthy of the death penalty, and in fact led to the death of Jesus Christ. And yet Scripture proclaims,

“And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This He set aside, nailing it to the cross” (Col. 2:13-14).

For those who follow Christ, all our sins, past, present, and future, were nailed to the cross and removed “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12). So while each time that we sin is a reminder of the penalty we owed, it is also an occasion for God’s grace to abound to us over and over again.

“But the free gift is not like the trespass. For if many died through one man’s trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many... Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more” (Rom. 5:15, 20).

Those who are faithful Christians don’t take sin lightly, or think of it as “no big deal.” We don’t “continue in sin that grace may abound” (Rom. 6:1). But I believe that many of us hold onto the feelings of guilt and shame long after we’ve confessed our sins to God. I heard myself saying recently, “I know God doesn’t hold it against me, but I hold it against myself.” At times like that, God may truly ask us, “Why do you take your sins so much more seriously than I do?” If He has forgiven those sins, who am I to stand in judgment against those same sins? If His grace has “abounded all the more,” who am I to reject it for myself?

Of course, just knowing that truth doesn’t mean we always take it to heart. We have an accuser to loves to remind us of all the times and ways we have failed to love God and others. He wants to keep us wallowing in the mud so that we’re too distracted to serve God. And if we think of ourselves foremost as sinners, we may forget that we have the ability to say no to sin because of God’s grace.

From the vantage point of the cross, my sins are no longer on my record or my shoulders. Jesus’ shoulders bore the weight so mine do not need to. His hands were nailed to my sin, so my hands are now free.

Lord, help us to see ourselves as the new creations You have made us to be. Where we are forgiven, help us to forgive ourselves. Where we are tempted, guard us against the lies and lures of the world, the flesh, and the devil.

“The Lord passed before [Moses] and proclaimed, ‘The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness’” (Ex. 34:6).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Yes, Mental Illness Exists

A prominent Christian leader is reported to have said recently that “There is no such thing as mental illness.” While I agree that we need to normalize the experience of suffering, mourning, and anxiety within the church, his statement is likely to have the opposite effect, which makes me sad. Those of us who take medication for various mental illnesses don’t need added shame for not being able to cope without them. We feel plenty of shame already, because it feels like everyone else has stronger faith and better coping skills than we do. Even if science can’t explain why, some medications do help some people. They don’t necessarily fix the problems, but they reduce the symptoms enough that we can carry on with daily life and, hopefully, get good, godly counsel as well. As Kathryn Butler notes in a new article from TGC:

“The first stop when seeking help for depression is your primary doctor’s office, but it shouldn’t be the last. While a doctor determines whether an antidepressant will help, it’s critically important to couple any medication with counseling.”

However, godly counseling can be hard to find as well, particularly if one is relying on the local church to provide it. Most pastors and church leaders don’t have the training or the time to provide the deep, long-term counseling that many of their church members need. And depending on their theology, they may create more problems than they solve. I’ve been blessed to find a Christian counselor within the medical system, but available appointments are few. For those with more intensive needs, it can be expensive to get the necessary help.

In the CT 2024 Pastors Special Issue, Jeannie Whitlock writes of Recapturing Wonder in a Cynical Age:

“Many of us haven’t even processed everything we have lost, pushed by a culture that urges us to quickly move on. But as Christian Wiman warns, unaddressed grief will make itself known, showing up in ‘every kind of crying but the kind you can see.’ Our bodies keep the score. Bottled sorrow can metastasize into physical ailments, unexplained fatigue, heartache, weakened immunity, or constant irritation. Yet, many American Christians are terrible at grieving.”

Often times it seems as though the church has lost the art of lament, in part because we’ve forgotten how to bear one another’s burdens. We’ve accepted superficial relationships as “good enough.” If the church were better at all the “one another” commands, there probably would be less need for medications and outside counseling services, but those will never completely go away in this lifetime. We live in a broken world, where our bodies and minds are impacted by sickness, suffering, and sin (our own and others’). Telling people “there’s no such thing as mental illness” is somewhere on the spectrum between “Just deal with it” and “If you just have enough faith you will be healed,” neither of which is helpful or encouraging.

In the midst of writing this, a severe storm moved through the area, providing me with an analogy. The property next to my house was recently clear-cut for building an electrical substation. When the storm came, a large pine tree that was left at the edge of the woods fell across the power lines. Because it no longer had neighboring trees on three sides, it was more susceptible to the wind than it had been before. Likewise, many Christians, and especially those struggling with mental illness, feel like they are on the fringe of church life with little support and protection from the storms of life. We need aid in whatever forms we can get it.

Perhaps we all need the reminder that God “comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer” (2 Cor. 1:4-6).

“Therefore encourage one another with these words” (1 Thess. 4:18).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Image courtesy of SAMHSA.gov. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Remember This

Having grown up in a fairly “low church” tradition, I’ve never given much consideration to the repetition of rote prayers and sentences. After reading a variety of authors who have referred to the Book of Common Prayer, I started getting more interested. Then recently I started listening occasionally to The Daily Office Podcast from the Anglican Church in North America 2019 Book of Common Prayer. Although they occasionally include readings from apocryphal books that I would not normally read, I’ve grown to appreciate the practice.

In the past, I would have been concerned that repetition of something like the Lord’s Prayer might become rote and mindless. However, if you think about all the other things that we repeat frequently and mindlessly, we could probably all use some regular infusions of truth into our thought processes. For example, there are certain TV series that I’ve watched so many times I can quote the dialog from memory. And there are plenty of negative thoughts that I rehearse more often than is wise. So it can be helpful to have biblical truths embedded in memory to bring to mind at such times.

Over and over in Scripture we are urged to remember what God has said and done:

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy… For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy” (Ex. 20:8, 11).

“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you” (Deut. 8:2).

“Remember the wondrous works that He has done, His miracles, and the judgments He uttered” (Psalm 105:5).

“Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me” (Isaiah 46:8-9).

“I have said all these things to you to keep you from falling away… I have said these things to you, that when their hour comes you may remember that I told them to you” (John 16:1, 4).

We will remember things that we’ve heard repeatedly, so the only question is what those words are going to be. Will it be TV shows and secular media, or will it be Bible verses, scriptural songs, or creedal confessions that have been used in some Christian traditions for centuries? Sure, there will be times when we repeat words without thinking about them, because we’re simply human. But there will also be times when the words come from our hearts with praise, repentance, and affirmation of what we know to be true.

Let us consider how to fill our minds with the things we really need to remember.

“My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, when I remember You upon my bed, and meditate on You in the watches of the night” (Psalm 63:5-6).

***

Related resources: 

Here are two songs that are often on my mind after I’ve listened to The Daily Office Podcast:

Lord, Have Mercy by Matt Boswell, Matt Papa, Aaron Keys, and James Tealy

Creed by Rich Mullins

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

What Do You Want?

Recently I noticed that there are two recorded times when Jesus asked someone “What do you want Me to do for you?” Both occur in Mark 10 (as well as the parallel passage in Matthew 20). In the first instance, James and John (and their mother according to Matthew) asked to be honored in Jesus’s kingdom. In the second, blind Bartimaeus (and another blind man per Matthew) asked to recover his sight. Two entirely different motives were revealed—pride and the desire for glory vs. humility and a request for mercy. The request made by the “Sons of Thunder” made the other disciples indignant and resulted in Jesus preaching a mini-sermon on servanthood. But the request from Bartimaeus led to a commendation of his faith and the immediate granting of his appeal.

In He Is Not Ashamed, Erik Raymond writes:

“Bartimaeus couldn’t do anything for Jesus. He came as a needy man, and Jesus was ready to give. Jesus also didn’t insult him or belittle his condition. Unlike the crowd who looked down on him, Jesus built him up by honoring him. Far from being ashamed of him, Jesus publicly welcomed and dignified the man… He had no interest in personal exaltation; he just wanted mercy”

Jesus responded similarly to the Canaanite woman whose daughter was demon-oppressed in Matthew 15. She asked for mercy and was commended for her faith and her daughter was healed. Those who desire mercy will find it in Jesus.

However, we often come to God with mixed motives. What we desire may be a good thing: healing from illness, restoration of relationships, etc. But our wishes may become idols that attempt to push God off His throne. As is mentioned in this recent episode of the Hope and Help Podcast, can we honestly say, “I want to glorify God more than I want ______”? There are many things in life I would change if I had the power, and I wonder what God is doing in and through them. Yet I have to trust that His way is not only best, but also results in His ultimate glory. My wishes may bring me comfort or momentary happiness, but they may also rob God of the glory that is due to Him. (This is one reason the prosperity gospel is so twisted and unbiblical.)

We have a high priest who experienced weakness and has sympathy for the weak (Heb. 4:15). We have the Holy Spirit to help us in our weakness (Rom. 8:26). Our God will not let us be tempted beyond our ability, but provides a way of escape (1 Cor. 10:13). He gives us sufficient grace (2 Cor. 12:9). But we have to admit our weakness and rely on Him so that He is the One who is glorified and not us. His glory may be revealed through healing, or it may come through trusting Him to carry us when we know we can’t make it on our own.

God invites us to come to Him and to ask what we want, but with the understanding that what He gives us is the mercy we need, not necessarily the “fix” that we desire. Our faith has opportunity to grow when we have to trust that God’s “No” is for our ultimate good.

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Heb. 4:16).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Shame Interrupted

Every few years I reread Ed Welch’s book Shame Interrupted. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the feeling of never measuring up, which started early in life. This poem was the result of my ponderings.

***

The voices in my head tell me I don’t belong,
I’m not wanted,
     not welcome,
           not good enough.
I don’t look right,
     act right,
          feel right,
                talk right.
I still hear the whispers behind my back,
Taunts and jibes,
     trying to provoke a reaction.
I won’t let them know how it hurts,
     keep my head down,
Pretend I don’t hear them, I don’t care.
One day soon I’ll leave them behind,
     go to better places.

But the voices still follow me, still echo in my head.
I wasn’t invited,
      I’m not wanted,
             they don’t care.
There is One Voice I trust, One who never fails,
One Who says,
      “I hear,
             I know,
                   I love you.”
He too experienced shame,
Crucified, naked, taunted,
     “If you are the Christ!”
              “Save yourself!”
He endured the cross, despising the shame,
For us, for me.

There are some who speak His words,
     but they too forget,
They don’t hear the voices in my head.
They are dealing with voices of their own.
But God remains,
     interrupting shame,
Reminding me,
       “You are My beloved child.”

“Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood,
Sealed my pardon with His blood,
      Hallelujah, what a Savior!”

“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’” (Rom. 8:15).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Even Me

I wonder if you have the same reaction to this passage that I sometimes do?

“This Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men... Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made Him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified” (Acts 2:23, 36).

Isn’t it tempting to think, “Yes, Peter! Stick it to those unbelieving Jews and Romans who killed Jesus!”? And yet, if it weren’t for my sin (and yours) Jesus would not have had to die. “God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). And “For our sake [God] made [Jesus] to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor. 5:21). That realization shouldn’t lead to pride in my accomplishments or disdain for unbelievers. It should lead to humble gratitude for the eternal life we have received by the grace and mercy of God. “[He] was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification” (Rom. 4:25).

On prideful days, I can be like the Pharisee who prayed, “God, I thank You that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector” (Luke 18:11), when I should be praying, “Thank You for being merciful to me, a sinner!”

Some days I identify more with Paul’s proclamation, “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display His perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life” (1 Tim. 1:15-16). Paul knew what he was talking about, although I think we are each the “foremost of sinners.” Any sin against the perfectly holy and righteous God is worthy of eternal damnation. Whether our personal sin debt was a penny or a thousand dollars, it required the life of the perfect sacrifice, Jesus Christ, to redeem us.

As we come to Good Friday and Easter, let us not forget that we aren’t invited into God’s family because we’re so great and have so much to offer Him. We are here only because He first loved us and chose to ransom us by death and resurrection of Christ. “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).

“The God of our fathers raised Jesus, whom you killed by hanging Him on a tree. God exalted Him at His right hand as Leader and Savior, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins” (Acts 5:30-31). “And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins” (1 Cor. 15:17).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

From Beginning to End

Psalm 71 gives a lifelong perspective on faith.

“Upon You have I leaned from before my birth” (6a). “For You, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O Lord, from my youth” (5). “Do not cast me off in the time of old age” (9a). “O God, from my youth You have taught me, and I still proclaim Your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me” (17-18a).

That first quote in particular caught my attention— “from before my birth.” No matter how young you are when you come to faith in Christ, none of us can claim to have been Christians from birth. And yet, when you do meet God and grow in faith, you start to realize that He has been at work long before you knew it. As David wrote in Psalm 139, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” (16). And the Apostle Paul proclaimed to the Ephesian church, that God “chose us in Him before the foundation of the world” (1:4). You might say that from God’s perspective, the saved have always been saved, even though they have not always known it. C.S. Lewis wrote in The Great Divorce:

“[B]oth good and evil, when they are full grown, become retrospective. Not only this valley but all this earthly past will have been Heaven to those who are saved. Not only the twilight in that town, but all their life on earth too, will then be seen by the damned to have been Hell. That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, ‘No future bliss can make up for it,’ not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory... the Blessed will say, ‘We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven,’ and the Lost, ‘We were always in Hell.’ And both will speak truly” (ch. 9).

Whether or not you agree completely with Lewis’s eschatology, there is great comfort to be found in believing that God is sovereign over every day and every detail of your life. The God who created us and brought salvation to us will also sustain us to the end, and then He will also raise us to eternal life in the new creation. “From the depths of the earth You will bring me up again” (20). He will never forsake us, so we can trust Him to old age and gray hairs. With that assurance, “I will hope continually and will praise You yet more and more” (14). No matter how far along the path of life you may be, we can be witnesses to others of God’s faithfulness. “My mouth will tell of Your righteous acts, of Your deeds of salvation all the day... I will remind them of Your righteousness, Yours alone” (15-16).

May we endeavor to be faithful to that high calling.

“So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me until I proclaim Your might to another generation, Your power to all those to come” (18).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Look at Me

David Brooks writes in How to Know a Person,

“Apparently we live in a society in which people don’t get to tell their stories. We work and live around people for years without ever knowing their tales. How did it come to be this way? …We don’t start conversations because we’re bad at predicting how much we’ll enjoy them. We underestimate how much others want to talk; we underestimate how much we will learn; we underestimate how quickly other people will want to go deep and get personal. If you give people a little nudge, they will share their life stories with enthusiasm… people are eager, often desperate, to be seen, heard, and understood. And yet we have built a culture, and a set of manners, in which that doesn’t happen.”

We’ve all heard little children demanding, “Look at me! Look at me!” Somewhere along the way we stop may asking for attention, but we never stop needing it. And for many people, an obsession with the screens in front of us leads us to stop offering attention to others. Brooks writes,

“The question everybody is unconsciously asking themselves when they meet you: ‘Am I a person to you? Do you care about me? Am I a priority for you?’”

All too often, even in the church and Christian organizations, it feels like the answer is No. The isolation of the pandemic accelerated our loss of social skills, including non-verbal communication, but this isn’t exactly a new problem. More than once in Scripture God made Himself known to those who felt invisible, such as Joseph, Moses, and Hannah. God spoke to Hagar in the wilderness, leading her to proclaim, “You are a God of seeing… Truly here I have seen Him who looks after me” (Gen. 16:13). Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well, and she told her neighbors, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did” (John 4:29). In the book of Acts, Peter and John saw a lame man and Peter said, “Look at us,” and then proceeded to heal the man. Truly seeing the man and his need resulted in a gift far greater than merely giving him alms.

The book of Proverbs has much to say about friendship and our words, such as:

• “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends” (16:28).
• “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (17:17).
• “He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend” (22:11).
• “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (27:6).
• “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest council” (27:9).

Brooks notes that many people think they are better conversationalists than they really are. And many more feel inadequate in conversation. While we can learn from books and blogs, perhaps the best teacher is experience. If we are more intentional in engaging in conversations and asking questions, we can learn a lot from one another.

May we be those who seek to let others know that they are seen and heard, and that they are loved by God and by us.

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (Prov. 16:24).

Related resources:

Gavin Ortlund teaching on good listening

Russell Moore interviews David Brooks

Russell Moore and Andy Crouch on tech obsession

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Small Things

I think sometimes we approach life as if we have to achieve something extraordinary in order to matter—both as a person and as a Christian. Degrees, positions, climbing the ladder become the goal. Even in the church we may feel immense pressure to perform—you aren’t praying enough, reading the Bible enough, sharing the gospel enough... And yet God loves little things.

“The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his field... The kingdom of heaven is like leaven that a woman took and hid in three measures of flour, till it was all leavened” (Matt. 13:31-33).

It’s okay to be small, and to do small things. It is God’s work through small, broken, weak people that shows His power and glory in the end (2 Cor. 12:10). In the ESV Women’s Study Bible, the commentary on Zech. 4:10 notes “God’s work may start in small ways, yet it will reach a glorious conclusion.” God’s eternal plan doesn’t depend on us being successful in achieving great ambitions. He only asks that we be faithful.

A Quiet Mind to Suffer With, by John Andrew Bryant, about his lifelong struggle with mental illness and unwanted thoughts. He notes:

“Holiness was ordinary things set aside for God by trust in Him, a holy life was an ordinary life with ordinary things that have been offered to Christ... And this ordinary life I have, and you have, can be offered to Christ and become sacred in that way. Not extraordinary but sacred.”

Like Bryant, I’ve had this underlying assumption that if I could just learn the right answers, think the right thoughts, and rationalize my way to being “fixed,” then I could really be useful to God and achieve whatever great acts He has in store for me. Some part of me feels as though I’m just biding my time, waiting for “real” life to start. In one sense that is true, because we are all awaiting that day when all of creation is made perfect and full of joy. But that doesn’t negate the value of the little things we do day in and day out, offered to God and therefore sacred. I’ve reached middle age and haven’t done anything extraordinary with my life by human standards. But I hope I’ve been faithful in small things more often than not.

We may be inclined to judge ourselves and others by what we can see, by some arbitrary standard of visible faith. We don’t know what battles each person is facing within, and we often can’t even understand our own lives very well. Bryant uses the language of intention—is our heart’s desire to love and serve God in whatever ways we can? If so, it doesn’t matter whether our accomplishments are large or small. The prayers of the bedridden are just as necessary as the evangelism of the missionary. The meals served by the housewife are as valuable as the banquet hosted by the soup kitchen. Bandaging a child’s knee is as important as brain surgery. Little things done with love and a desire to serve God are still successes in His eyes.

“Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master” (Matt. 25:21).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Say What?

I know some people who, if you ask how they are, will answer “I’m blessed and highly favored!” I believe the thought behind this is probably two-fold—to remind themselves and others that God is bigger than our circumstances, and to create opportunities to tell others about their faith. Those are fine goals. However (no offense intended to those who use that phrase), I get frustrated when I hear it, which probably says more about me than about them. My first thought is usually either “I guess they don’t want to have an honest conversation,” or “I guess I’m the only one who is struggling to make it through another day.”

When asked “How are you,” most people use the default “I’m fine” or something similar. For those who have a closer relationship, perhaps the door opens to share the challenges of life and ask for prayer. In small groups, vulnerability tends to beget vulnerability. Someone has to be the first to let down their guard. While that can be difficult for those of us who struggle with depression and other mental illness, it’s even harder to be honest if we think everyone else is feeling “blessed and highly favored” and we aren’t. And in a culture that values authenticity, it’s easy to feel like you’re being shut out of relationships with those who use scripted responses to common questions.

Most of us probably know that it is God’s blessing that brings us salvation, grace, mercy, and love. Yet knowing that fact doesn’t remove the weight of living with broken bodies and minds. We know these are “light momentary afflictions” (2 Cor. 4:17) when compared with the glory of eternal life. But they don’t feel very light during the decades of this life.

Lament is a valid and valuable part of the biblical canon, particularly in the psalms. David, the “man after God’s own heart,” wrote “O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest” (Ps. 22:2), and “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Ps. 25:16). Even Jesus holds blessing and suffering in tension in the Beatitudes (Matt. 5:3-12). The poor in spirit are blessed, though they don’t see the outcome until the kingdom of heaven. Those who mourn are blessed with comfort, but they still mourn. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, but persecution often endures for years. Blessing doesn’t negate suffering.

One might argue that for the Christian blessedness is a fact and not a feeling. However, that’s not how culture uses the term. So we end up having to analyze how this person I’m talking to understands the concept and what they mean in this particular conversation. For me, that’s too much work when I’m already overwhelmed with looking for conversational openings and balancing the weight of depression. My somewhat neurodivergent brain would much prefer that people say what they mean and mean what they say, so I’m not left wondering how I ought to respond. Church culture is hard enough to navigate without throwing around vague and confusing concepts without explanation.

“The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious… Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (Prov. 16:23-24).

Related Resources:

https://au.thegospelcoalition.org/article/learning-to-lament-a-guide-to-praying-in-our-hardest-moments/

https://christinemchappell.com/blog/the-soul-care-podcast/

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Redefined

In Star Trek: Picard, the comment is made, “A point comes in a man’s life when he looks to the past to define himself. Not just his future” (3:1). That started me thinking about the many things that define us. Most of us probably start with our family of origin, current family, and career. While those things are important, they are not ultimate. Christians can look at the past, present, and future to reveal who we are.

Our past started before the beginning of time.

• “[God] chose us in [Christ] before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him” (Eph. 1:4).
• “For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers” (Rom. 8:29).
• “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” (Ps. 139:16).

Our stories started long before we were even conceived or imagined by our parents. Our origins point to the Creator of the universe, who chose us to belong to Him.

In the present, our roles are defined by the One we call Lord and has gifted us to serve Him.

• “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord” (Rom. 12:11).
• “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace” (1 Pet. 4:10).
• “Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it” (1 Cor. 12:27).

Our calling is to follow God’s commission to “make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matt. 28:19-20a).

For the future, we look ahead to the day when Christ returns and makes everything new and perfect, when He will judge all peoples.

• “Since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness, waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God... According to His promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells” (2 Pet. 3:11-13).
• “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak” (Matt. 12:36).
• “And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes the judgment, so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for Him” (Heb. 9:27-28).

If our future is to dwell with God, that should impact the decisions we make here and now.

In short, by looking at the past, present, and future I define myself as a child of God, a servant of God, and an heir of His eternal kingdom. Since that is true, I choose to live in obedience to Him, by His grace and to the best of my ability, as I look forward to that final day when we meet face to face.

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation… training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ” (Titus 2:11-12).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.