Who's In?

I’ve been catching up on episodes of The Chosen, and just watched the season 4 episode “The Last Sign.” In that episode in particular, there are various conversations between the disciples as they wonder, “Did you expect things to go this way?” Each one came with different expectations. You can almost feel sorry for Judas as he tries to push things in the way he thinks they are supposed to go, because he’s got a particular idea of what the Messiah is supposed to do. And for all the disciples, the death of Lazarus seemed like an anomaly. And then when Jesus raised him from the dead the question arose why Lazarus raised and not others they had loved and lost. I suspect we all have times when we want to say, “This isn’t what I signed up for!”

In a recent episode of the Being Human podcast, Steve Cuss interviewed Beth Moore. Towards the end he comments on the fact that she felt a strong call to ministry when she was really young, but she never imagined that she would have a ministry of trauma healing and helping those who battle mental illness. Beth says, “We would no more have signed up for the ministries He ends up calling us to than anything. And yet, when all is said and done, these have been the things that mattered most.”

Beth went on to mention the man born blind in John 9. When the disciples ask whose fault it was that the man was blind, Jesus responds, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him” (v. 3). Perhaps his whole life he’d wondered why he had to deal with this particular form of suffering. Maybe he had sought out healers in the past and been disappointed. But then Jesus came along and healed him—so that God’s work might be displayed in him. It doesn’t take long for the man to start proclaiming that Jesus is a prophet (v. 17).

What things make you wonder “Why is this part of my life?” Maybe it’s a physical problem, an emotional challenge, or relationship issues. It could be just about anything. Have you ever considered how God might use it for His glory? It may be something as simple as your testimony of God’s sustaining you through dark times. You are the only one who can share your particular testimony, and it may help someone who is experiencing trials of their own.

Sometimes in the church we may give people the impression that following Jesus makes life easy and doubt-free. I think we do a disservice to our young people especially when we don’t share the struggles we face at all stages of life, even when we are faithfully serving God. Rebecca Olson wrote in A New Normal: Learning to Thrive in Suffering:

“Your response to a shipwrecked life may draw more of the right kind of attention to God than a lifetime of smooth sailing. Your commitment to honor God even in your doubt and confusion can prove to a watching world that God is worth following... Furthermore, not only does your steadfast commitment to Christ present a compelling witness to unbelievers, but your perspective on your own suffering emboldens other believers (see 2Co 11).”

In my many miles of trail hiking and running, I’ve realized that the narrower the trail is, the more twists, turns, bumps, and roots there are to trip over. Wide trails make it easier to speed along without concerns. Jesus said the wide path is easy, but it leads to destruction. “The gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matt. 7:14). He never promised an easy life or smooth sailing for those who follow Him. But He did promise that He’d be with us through the hills and valleys and every bump and turn of the trail.

When we come to those times of wondering what in the world God is up to, and we’re tempted to say “This isn’t what I thought I was signing up for,” we can return again and again to the words of Peter, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68). We probably brought some misconceptions with us when we decided to follow Jesus, and we’ve all faced detours that took us in directions we weren’t prepared to go. But in the end, there is only One who can redeem all our trials and use them for our eternal good and His glory. Why would we turn away now?

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope” (Rom. 5:3-4).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Take Up Your Cross

The world tells us “Be who you are! Do what makes you happy!” But Jesus taught something much different:

“If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matt. 16:24-25).

Each one of us has a cross to bear. Your cross is that area of life where you want to just throw in the towel. It could be difficult relationships with parents or children, or unwanted singleness; it may be the physical suffering of a chronic or terminal illness, or multiple miscarriages; perhaps it is gender dysphoria, same-sex attraction, or other enduring temptation. Each person’s cross is a little different, but each is a heavy load. To follow Jesus requires us to carry that load while living in obedience to His Word. If we choose comfort and pleasure over taking up our crosses, we are in danger of condemnation. “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” (Mark 8:36). Some have chosen to reinterpret or ignore portions of Scripture in order to avoid the burden of their crosses. We are meant to be people who—

• forgive those who hurt us 
• trust Him in the midst of loss and sorrow 
• believe that He has made us who we are and is with us in our struggles 
• turn to Him instead of self-medicating with whatever pleasures we can find

We can tend to forget that Jesus knows what suffering is. Easter is sometimes the only week we focus on all that Jesus went through in His death. He didn’t go to the cross eagerly. He wanted to avoid it if He could, but ultimately, He trusted the Father’s plan to bring perfect good out of the greatest evil.

“Then He said to them, ‘My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with Me.’ And going a little farther He fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will’” (Matt. 26:38-39).

Even when the decision was made, Jesus didn’t breeze through the torture and crucifixion with a smile on His face.

“My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matt. 27:46).

Let’s not forget that Jesus also endured suffering during His life up to that point. Though we don’t know much about His childhood, He faced the same temptations and struggles that every child does (Luke 2:41-52). As He began His ministry, He endured specific temptation by the devil (Luke 4:1-13). During His years of ministry He put up with constant questioning and schemes from the Pharisees and Sadducees, doubts from those who heard His teaching, and eventually betrayal and abandonment by His own disciples. He went through all this so He could fully identify with us.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Heb. 4:15-16).

So when Jesus calls us to take up our own crosses and follow Him, it is not an abstract concept or a command from one who has never been there. And because He bore His cross, we are enabled to do the same.

“Therefore… let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb. 12:1-2).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Follow Me

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the church—both our local church and Church universal—and wondering whether the church is accomplishing what it is supposed to be doing. Even before the pandemic, nationwide church attendance and influence on culture has been on the decline. It’s easy to get discouraged and think perhaps we’ve failed. Or we get so hung up on traditions that we lose sight of our purpose.

If we remember that we are the Church, the question becomes more personal. Are we being the church as God intended? Are we fulfilling the “one anothers” of Scripture? Are we increasingly exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit? Sometimes I find myself thinking, “I wish church members would do ____,” but I’m not doing those things myself. I can’t judge others without passing judgment on myself. 

Dan DeWitt comments on Peter’s conversation with Jesus in John 21 following the resurrection:

“Peter turns toward the guy who is constantly referring to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved, likely points his finger at him, looks at Jesus with eyebrows raised, and says in a huff, ‘What about that guy?’

“Jesus’ response to Peter is short: ‘What is that to you?’ In other words, that’s none of your business. Then Jesus repeats those two life-changing words: ‘Follow me’” (Sunny Side Up, 77).

“Not only does Jesus prevent us from comparing ourselves with others; he also doesn’t give us a ton of details about where he is going to lead us. That’s hard for all of us because we want to know what’s next. What comes after this first step of obedience? I can do it today, but what about tomorrow? But Jesus gives us a directive (follow me), not directions (this is precisely where I will lead you)” (79).

My path is not going to look exactly like someone else’s path. My gifts and ministry will take a different shape than yours. So the question is, am I doing the specific things that God has called me to do? Are you?

“Following Jesus isn’t easy or cheap. It will look different for all of us. Don’t be mistaken—it will cost us all something. But so will disobedience. Which will you choose?” (80).

“If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me… For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” (Matthew 16:24, 26).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Marked for the Master

“I made the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah cling to Me, declares the Lord, that they might be for Me a people, a name, a praise, and a glory, but they would not listen” (Jeremiah 13:11b ESV).

The last few words of that verse are convicting. Because they didn’t listen, the Israelites were exiled from the Promised Land for many years. Though they were still God’s people, they were not bringing Him praise and glory through their actions, words, and worship. Interestingly, the New Testament authors use similar phrasing regarding who we are as Christians:

“[Christ] gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession who are zealous for good works” (Titus 2:14).

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9).

We belong to God and we bear His name. We are meant to represent Him through purity, good works, proclaiming His Word, and glorifying Him. We are to walk in His light so that we may stand out from this dark world. But are we doing any better than Judah and Israel were back in Jeremiah’s time? Do we show ourselves to be “set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work” (2 Timothy 2:20)?

Living in the Bible belt, I know a lot of nice, moral people, but the number of people who are clearly living for the glory of God is a lot lower. People can mistakenly assume that someone who is kind and decent must be Christian. We may also believe that someone who attends church functions on a regular basis is therefore a Christian, but that may not be true either. The ESV Bible titles Romans 12:9-21 “Marks of the True Christian,” but even in that list of instructions there is little that could not be imitated by non-Christians. Consider the following verses (emphasis added):

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him” (James 1:12).

“As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct” (1 Peter 1:14-15).

 “To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of His calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by His power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Thessalonians 1:11-12).

“But whoever keeps His word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in Him: whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked” (1 John 2:5-6).

Charles Spurgeon wrote in Following Christ:

“If we add to our churches by becoming worldly or by taking in people who have never been born again, or if we add to our churches by accommodating the life of the Christian to the life of the people of the world, our increase is nothing at all” (ch. 7).

I fear that there are many people sitting in church pews or listed on church rolls who have no idea what it really means to be a Christian. They may call themselves Christians, but they do not truly bear the name of Christ by living for His glory and praise. They have no desire for holiness or for the kingdom of God, but think that being a nice person is all the witness they need to give.

Let’s make sure we truly belong to Him.

“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? –unless indeed you fail to meet the test!” (2 Corinthians 13:5).

© 2019 Dawn Rutan. Original image copyright free from pixabay.com modified. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

I Surrender

In her book Brokenness, Surrender, Holiness (a compilation of three books), Nancy Leigh DeMoss writes,

“Our will was opposed to [God’s] will. We were intent on going our own independent way, and as a result, were estranged from the God of the universe. Even when the Spirit opened our eyes to recognize our rebellious condition, we may have sought a way to bring about peace apart from surrender. We did not want to continue suffering the unpleasant consequences of our resistance, but neither did we want to lay down our arms. Then the message was sent to our hearts: There can be no peace until you are willing to accept My terms—unconditional surrender.”

And yet even when we have made a decision to surrender to Christ’s lordship, we often try to take it back later. We still desire to have control over our own lives. “I’ll surrender the parts I don’t like, but this part is still mine to do with as I please!” DeMoss shared what Josef Tson identified as a “shift from the call to full surrender, to the call to commitment.”

“Christian surrender means that a person lifts his or her hands and says to God, ‘Here I am; I surrender; You take over; I belong to You; You dispose of me!’ But this is America, the country of the independent people! This is the place of ‘Nobody should command me! … I belong only to myself! A call to surrender, and even more, to full surrender, simply doesn’t go well with such people. Therefore, the preachers… hit on the word ‘commitment.’ You see, commitment means ‘I engage myself to do something for you.’ or, even lighter, ‘I promise to do something for you,’ but I remain myself and I may keep my promises or not...

“[Bible translators] did not like the term ‘bondslave’ to be applied to people. Who wants to be somebody else’s slave? Therefore, they replaced it with ‘servant.’ Again, a reflection and demand of the independent spirit! In the Greek, ‘slave’ is doulos; ‘servant’ is diakonos. In the Greek Bible one never, never diakoneo to God—one never serves God; one only douleo to God—that is, one slaves to God.”

Many people have made some commitment to God, but their absence of any meaningful participation in the Body of Christ is one indication that they never surrendered to Him. And all of us need to surrender again and again as God reveals areas in our lives that we’re still holding on to. Just today I was reminded that if I want to be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29), I must surrender my all rights over my life and my choices. I am no longer my own, for I was bought with the blood of Christ (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Therefore anything that stands in opposition to His lordship must be given over to His control. “Put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and… put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:22, 24 ESV).

Tson is correct that we in America don’t want to surrender to anyone. July 4th is known as Independence Day, but no one who belongs to Christ is truly independent. Actually, every living being is dependent on God, but Christians are the only ones who acknowledge our dependence on Him and willingly surrender to His control. Will we do so again today and tomorrow and every day to come?

“Father, I abandon myself into Your hands; do with me what You will. Whatever You may do, I thank You: I am ready for all, I accept all. Only let Your will be done in me, and in all Your creatures—I wish no more than this, O Lord” (Charles de Foucauld).

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

---

© 2019 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Truth and Error

I’ve been reading the three epistles of John, and it struck me how blunt he is about the false teachers that were creeping into the early church. He repeatedly points to signs of the truth. Here are just a few:

“If we say we have fellowship with Him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth” (1 John 1:6 ESV).

“Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness” (1 John 2:9).

“No one who denies the Son has the Father. Whoever confesses the Son has the Father also” (1 John 2:23).

“If you know that He is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of Him” (1 John 2:29).

“By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother” (1 John 3:10).

“By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God...” (1 John 4:2-3a).

“Everyone who goes on ahead and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. Whoever abides in the teaching has both the Father and the Son” (2 John 9).

John obviously thought that false teachers were a significant danger to the church, and he warned the believers to be on their guard. I think we can tend to be guilty of “chronological snobbery” (to use C.S. Lewis’s excellent term) and think that we are immune to that danger. Obviously the early church didn’t have all the Scriptures compiled and Christians didn’t have multiple copies of the Bible sitting on their shelves, so they didn’t have a quick reference for orthodoxy. But on the other hand, they also didn’t have access to billions of books, podcasts, blogs, and Facebook posts that claim to be proclaiming truth but could be based on anything from rumor and innuendo to the so-called prophets of other religions. If anything, we need even more discernment to sift through all the information that bombards us every day.

All around us there are people who claim to have some kind of relationship with God, and they may even claim to know Jesus Christ, but they aren’t pursuing righteousness and living in the light. There are those who say they are Christians, but they do not love others as Scripture commands. Even within the church there are many who are “cultural Christians” but don’t have true faith. Although the image is alarming, I think there will be a long line of people to whom Jesus says, “Depart from Me, I never knew you” (Matthew 7:23), because “The gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction and those who enter by it are many” (v. 13).

In our culture of tolerance and acceptance, we may unwittingly be allowing heretics to preach their own gospels in our churches and homes. We each need to seek truth in God’s Word and allow the Holy Spirit to cultivate discernment in us. Only when we know well the One who is the Truth can we be free from the deceptions that the enemy throws our way.

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:15-16a).

© 2019 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

A Timely Prod

I’m reading a book that presents a clear and convicting picture of the church in America today. Following are a few paraphrased quotes:

On raising children- “Every parent wants their child to be fully educated and prepared for the world he is entering, but he is left to collect his religion on his own. The study of Christianity has formed no part of his education, and any attachment he may have to Christianity is merely the result of his place of birth and the church membership of his parents. When such is the hereditary religion handed down from generation to generation, it cannot surprise us to observe young men of sense and spirit beginning to doubt altogether the truth of the system in which they have been brought up, and ready to abandon a faith they are unable to defend.”

On spiritual knowledge- “What is more important than our eternal destiny? When God, by grace, has granted us such abundant means of instruction, how great must be the guilt and how awful the punishment of voluntary ignorance! …Yet we expect to be Christians without labor, study, or inquiry… And when finally summoned to the judgment seat of God to give an account of our lives, what plea can we have in our defense if we remain willingly and obstinately ignorant of the way which leads to life?”

On human corruption- “Endeavoring to justify what he cannot deny, ‘Whatever I am,’ he contends, ‘I am what my Creator made me. I inherited a nature depraved and prone to evil: how then can I withstand the temptation to sin?’”

On self-evaluation- “It seems in our days to be the common opinion that a man can admit in general terms the truth of Christianity without knowing much of the details, and if he is not habitually guilty of any of the grosser sins against others, we have no great reason to question the validity of his claim to the name of Christian.”

On stewardship- “They assume religion can claim only a stated proportion of their thoughts, and time, and fortune, and influence… the rest is their own to do what they will with. They have paid their tithes, the demands of the Church are satisfied, and they may surely be permitted to enjoy the rest without molestation or interference.”

On sanctification- “Instead of keeping at a distance from all sin, in which alone is our safety, they do not care how near they approach what they believe to be the boundary line. If they have not actually passed it, there is no harm done… They will of course be constantly, and almost insensibly, pressing the limits and moving farther and farther toward forbidden ground… ‘Mortify the flesh with its affections and lusts’ is the Christian principle, but a luxurious course of habitual indulgence is the practice of the bulk of modern Christians.”

On wasted time- “Life rolls away with too many of us in a path of ‘shapeless idleness.’ Its recreations constitute its chief business… amusements are multiplied… year after year wears away in unprofitable vacancy… Meanwhile, knowing that we are not giving in to any flagrant vice and are not neglecting the basics of religion, we persuade ourselves that we need not be uneasy. We don’t fall below the general standard of morals, so we therefore allow ourselves to glide down the stream without realizing its consequences.”

I think many will recognize these traits within our churches and perhaps in our own lives. Now here’s the kicker—this was written by William Wilberforce in England in 1798 under the title, A Practical View of the Prevailing Religious System of Professed Christians, in the Middle and Higher Classes in this Country, Contrasted with Real Christianity. The more things change, the more they stay the same. It illustrates the fact that we must be highly intentional about preaching, teaching, and living out the truths of Scripture. “Unless the affections of the soul be supremely fixed on God; unless it be the leading and governing desire and primary purpose to possess His favor and promote His glory, we are considered as having transferred our fealty to a usurper, and as being in fact revolters from our lawful Sovereign.”

It’s not enough to go to church regularly or to bear the name of Christian if we are not in fact seeking to follow Christ wholeheartedly. The enticements, distractions, and habits of this world will surely cause us to drift away from our faith if we are not actively working against them. May we not get complacent about the pursuit of God and the path of life.  

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:13-14 ESV).

© 2017 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Once and Again

Last night I got to thinking about Joshua 24:15 (ESV), “Choose this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” We tend to fall into the trap of thinking that following God is a one-time decision rather than a daily choice. I’m not referring to the debate about whether a person can lose their salvation, but about the way we choose to live our lives day by day.

We can get sidetracked when we think of the spiritual disciplines as a one-time choice. We can choose whether to spend time in the Word and prayer, and we can choose our level of involvement with a local church. How many people think that reading the Bible occasionally or hearing a sermon once a week is all that’s really needed? I would question whether those people are actually following Christ if they only make that choice one day out of seven. Even if they do receive eternal salvation, they are missing out on the blessings of pursuing God every day.

Obedience is also a choice. Some days it is an hourly choice or even moment by moment. When temptation comes, we can choose to believe that God will provide endurance and escape one minute at a time (1 Corinthians 10:13). In a way, it is a relief to stop thinking “I have to endure for the rest of my life,” and to start thinking “I just have to make it through this minute… now this minute… now this one.”

As we’ve been learning about spiritual wisdom in recent sermons from 1 Corinthians 2, it is both convicting and enlightening to realize that seeking wisdom needs to be a constant choice as well. The news is full of celebrity pastors who neglected to choose wisely in one area or another, or they are relying on human wisdom more than God’s wisdom. Though they may not be caught in outright sin, they may be dogmatically clinging to a particular interpretation of Scripture that is not necessarily proven to be true. Every church and denomination feels at some level that they are right and others are wrong, but some are more proudly dogmatic than they should be.

Paul wrote, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). MacLaren’s Exposition of this verse says:

“That transformation is no sudden thing, though the revolution which underlies it may be instantaneous. The working out of the new motives, the working in of the new power, is no mere work of a moment. It is a lifelong task till the lump be leavened.”

Similarly in Philippians 2:12-13: “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” The choice to turn to Christ for salvation may be a one-time event, but working it out in daily life is one choice after another.

God keeps on saying to us, “Choose this day whom you will serve, and this hour, and this moment, and this second. Keep choosing as often as it takes. Choose Me; choose life; choose health; choose obedience; choose holiness; choose wisdom.”

Three Sheepish Questions

I had thought perhaps I would have nothing to post this week, but an impulsive decision to pick up a book from the church library changed that (and I came home with two books instead).

I was thinking about what it means for us to be sheep under God’s care, and wanted to revisit While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks, by Tim Laniak. In the first chapter he quotes Deuteronomy 8:2-3 (ESV):

“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that He might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart... And He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna... that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”

That led me to the question— What hunger is God allowing in my life right now in order to make me realize my need for what He alone can provide?

A similar thought came from the second book I picked up, Lord, I Just Want to Be Happy, by Leslie Vernick (p. 35):

“Whether we realize it or not, many of us are captive to the lie that something other than God will bring us happiness and fulfill our longings. When we put our hope in or expect something or someone other than him to fill us and make us happy, he will surely frustrate us. But he doesn’t do it to punish us. He does it to rescue us from our disordered attachments and delusions, and from ourselves. God promises to meet our needs—but what we feel we need, and what we truly need, may be very different.”

So I come to another variation of the question— What are the false expectations that I need to let go of in order to find God’s provision to be sufficient?

And in another book I’m rereading, John Ortberg lists in The Me I Want to Be several counterfeit “me’s” that we fall prey to, including the “me” I think I should be and the “me” others expect me to be. I’ve been reminded that many of the expectations I place on myself have nothing to do with God’s desires for me. I mistakenly think I should be a certain way or do certain things to fulfill what I think others are expecting of me, and heaven forbid that I should say No or admit that I can’t do everything.

Thus my third variation of the question is— What does God really expect of me and how do I live accordingly?

Those three questions are probably ones we should all consider at times. They can help us align our priorities with God’s, reduce some of our anxieties, and perhaps even lead to greater peace and joy. I don’t know how others might answer those questions. I thought of a few specific examples of things I’ve been dealing with lately:

1) The lie: I need to resolve this situation by myself in a way that doesn’t cost the company money.

The truth: I need to admit that I’m stressed and I don’t know what to do and remember that this is not ultimately my responsibility. The company, the money, and the problem are all in God’s hands. It may be more important for me to remember that I am not autonomous than it is for us to save a little money. It’s also more important for us to honor God with our actions than to pinch pennies.

2) The lie: I need to provide every detail of information on this subject in order to protect people.

The truth: I will do my best and provide what I know, but I will never have all the knowledge I think I need or the ability to make others heed it. There are people far more qualified to answer most questions, and I can only urge people to find the best resources available.

3) The lie: I need to be victorious over depression in order to be a good witness.

The truth: God doesn’t need me to be fixed, perfect, or even okay. He can use me for His purposes no matter what. Although I may not be a good example of endurance, I am learning to endure. And though my faith is often weak it is growing.

Some of the things I need to let go of in order to trust the provision of the Good Shepherd are my pride, perfectionism, and performance. God doesn’t need me to have all the answers, because He has them already. God doesn’t intend for me to be autonomous, but He gave me a place in the Body of Christ. In order to live under His shepherding I need to admit my weakness, ask for help, and accept the grace and mercy that is all around.

I don’t think this is the end of the subject for me. It’s something I need to keep wrestling with every day in order to become the me God has created me to be.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” –Psalm 139:23-24

Nearer to Thee

One of the best books I’ve read this year is Following Christ: Experiencing Life the Way It Was Meant to Be, by Joseph Stowell. Although it’s more than a decade old, it seemed particularly relevant to what I’ve been thinking about and experiencing lately. Other books have also addressed the difference between being a Christian leader and being a follower. (More recently published I Am a Follower, by Leonard Sweet, although I found the style of that one hard to read.) Stowell comments:

“Scripture is crystal clear about the profile of a true follower of Jesus Christ… First, a follower was one who had a growing and deepening relationship to the one they were following… Second, a true follower is in the process of a radical reformation because of the influence of the leader on his life. True followers do not remain the same once they start following Christ… For us then, following means to adopt Him as the local rabbi of our lives and surrender; to sit under His wisdom in order to learn from Him; and to serve Him in every way possible. It means to give Him the highest priority as the supreme relationship of life out of which every other relationship and activity is defined and directed” (73,75).

Once you’ve become a Christian and learned the basics, it’s easy to fall into the “religious habit” of doing certain activities but not really following Christ and not growing in faith. You can be active in the spiritual disciplines—reading the Bible, praying, going to church, etc.—but not be changed by any of it. Stowell gives a great word picture of this life:

“Going into orbit around Christ mean stifling any further impulse of movement toward Him… Fully devoted followers are involved in a passionate pursuit of Christ and are never satisfied with stagnancy or a stalemate. Yet becoming an orbital Christian is alluring because it is more comfortable and less challenging, and besides, we can always take satisfaction in the fact that there are others whose orbits are father out than ours” (96).

I’ve been realizing anew that I don’t want to be satisfied with the status quo. I don’t want to be content with going through the motions without being drawn consistently nearer to Christ. I want God to do whatever it takes to keep conforming me to the image of Christ (see Romans 8:29 and 12:2). Stowell asks, “Can you believe that there is no price too high to pay to experience the privilege of walking with Him?” (102). Missionary David Livingstone wrote in his journal, “God, send me anywhere, only go with me. Lay any burden on me, only sustain me. And sever any tie in my heart except the tie that binds my heart to Yours.” That can be a frightening thing to pray, unless you are convinced that God is worth it all and following Him is the supreme adventure in this life.

The old hymn by Charles Tindley urges “Nothing between my soul and my Savior…” It has been my prayer lately that God would not allow anything to remain between us—no sin, no habits, no desires, no goals or priorities—nothing that would interfere with being “rooted and grounded in love” and comprehending “the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge” (Ephesians 3:17-19). I want Him to keep pruning away all that is unfruitful in me.

Even as I write and pray that, I am aware that my choices don’t always line up with my heart’s deepest desire. I know how often I choose distractions instead of seeking God. It’s easy to turn on the TV, flip open a novel, or even go to bed early rather than spending time in the Word and prayer. Although I’m somewhat more disciplined than I was a year or two ago, I know I’ve just settled into a new orbit a little closer to the Son. But I also remember from physics that if you get too close to a large mass, the gravitational force will continue to pull you in unless you are actively working against it. So I trust that God’s pull on me will be ever increasing and He will not allow me to remain at a distance.

“And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him.” –Hebrews 11:6