Light and Life

The BBC recently posted this video about an Australian weather caster’s on-air panic attack. I appreciate that they used this as an opportunity to educate and encourage their viewers. Things like this make me feel a little less like a misfit in the world. I’ve been fairly open about my own experiences with anxiety and depression, largely because I’m tired of trying to live up to some arbitrary standard of mental health that is elusive at best. Lately I haven’t been able to write my blog posts as often as I used to. When I have time to do so, my brain either descends into fog or jumps and spirals down miscellaneous disconnected paths.

This week I was reading the beginning of 1 John:

“If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:7-8).

I realize that the context is that of walking in holiness and righteousness, confessing our sin to God, and receiving His forgiveness. At the same time, I think we all know that sin is not the only thing we like to keep hidden in darkness. Church culture often tends to avoid revealing any weakness or struggle. Even in small groups it can take a long time to trust one another enough to share our heaviest burdens. (I’ve experienced the awkward silence of a group who didn’t know how to respond to me.) Yet if we can’t share those hard things, how do we ever expect to “confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16)? Vulnerability has to start somewhere.

In the definition of the Greek word aletheia, Biblehub includes the following: “truth, but not merely truth as spoken; truth of idea, reality, sincerity... In ancient Greek culture, aletheia was synonymous for ‘reality’ as the opposite of illusion.” Sometimes it seems as though we are determined to keep up the illusion of competency and self-sufficiency, even though Scripture clearly says that we are meant to be dependent on God and on one another (2 Cor. 3:5-6, 9:8, 12:9, Gal. 6:2, et al).

Younger generations are more likely to value authenticity, though for many that has come to mean “Affirm me in my sinful state.” That is not the goal of Christian fellowship. We are to share our burdens, struggles, temptations, and sin in order to be lifted up, cleansed, and enabled to love and serve God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Certainly there are times when confidentiality is necessary, and some people cannot be trusted with personal information, but in general the Church should be a place where it is safe to admit our deepest needs and where we can pray for more than just physical problems.

I used to think that Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart” (NIV), meant to not let anyone get close enough to know what was going on inside. It’s taken me a long time to realize that guarding your heart isn’t done by keeping everyone at a distance, but by allowing trustworthy people close enough to see the wounds and struggles so they can be a source of healing and hope.

Jesus said that not only is He the Light of the world (John 8:12), but that we are too (Matt. 5:14). We have the privilege and responsibility of shining the light of His truth into all the dark spots that keep us from loving God and loving one another as we should. His light shining through us brings life to that which is dead and dying inside.

“Whoever follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12b).

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Related resource: Why the American Church Can’t Fix Loneliness by Russell Moore

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Say What?

I know some people who, if you ask how they are, will answer “I’m blessed and highly favored!” I believe the thought behind this is probably two-fold—to remind themselves and others that God is bigger than our circumstances, and to create opportunities to tell others about their faith. Those are fine goals. However (no offense intended to those who use that phrase), I get frustrated when I hear it, which probably says more about me than about them. My first thought is usually either “I guess they don’t want to have an honest conversation,” or “I guess I’m the only one who is struggling to make it through another day.”

When asked “How are you,” most people use the default “I’m fine” or something similar. For those who have a closer relationship, perhaps the door opens to share the challenges of life and ask for prayer. In small groups, vulnerability tends to beget vulnerability. Someone has to be the first to let down their guard. While that can be difficult for those of us who struggle with depression and other mental illness, it’s even harder to be honest if we think everyone else is feeling “blessed and highly favored” and we aren’t. And in a culture that values authenticity, it’s easy to feel like you’re being shut out of relationships with those who use scripted responses to common questions.

Most of us probably know that it is God’s blessing that brings us salvation, grace, mercy, and love. Yet knowing that fact doesn’t remove the weight of living with broken bodies and minds. We know these are “light momentary afflictions” (2 Cor. 4:17) when compared with the glory of eternal life. But they don’t feel very light during the decades of this life.

Lament is a valid and valuable part of the biblical canon, particularly in the psalms. David, the “man after God’s own heart,” wrote “O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest” (Ps. 22:2), and “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Ps. 25:16). Even Jesus holds blessing and suffering in tension in the Beatitudes (Matt. 5:3-12). The poor in spirit are blessed, though they don’t see the outcome until the kingdom of heaven. Those who mourn are blessed with comfort, but they still mourn. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, but persecution often endures for years. Blessing doesn’t negate suffering.

One might argue that for the Christian blessedness is a fact and not a feeling. However, that’s not how culture uses the term. So we end up having to analyze how this person I’m talking to understands the concept and what they mean in this particular conversation. For me, that’s too much work when I’m already overwhelmed with looking for conversational openings and balancing the weight of depression. My somewhat neurodivergent brain would much prefer that people say what they mean and mean what they say, so I’m not left wondering how I ought to respond. Church culture is hard enough to navigate without throwing around vague and confusing concepts without explanation.

“The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious… Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (Prov. 16:23-24).

Related Resources:

https://au.thegospelcoalition.org/article/learning-to-lament-a-guide-to-praying-in-our-hardest-moments/

https://christinemchappell.com/blog/the-soul-care-podcast/

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Watch Your Mouth

I observed something the other day about the way people tend to interact with one another. Since then I’ve come to see that it’s much more widespread than I had originally thought, and I’m as guilty as anyone else. What I observed is that people often don’t say what they are really thinking if there’s any chance it will create conflict. However, many of those same people will then tell someone else about it in the form of a complaint. It may be something like,

• “Yes, I’d be glad to keep the nursery today…” “Why am I always stuck with the nursery?!”
• “I’ll do whatever I can to help…” “This sure is a dumb plan!”

Such superficial agreement, while intended as a peacekeeping measure, often becomes a front for grumbling and gossip. How many marriages have been broken when wives are outwardly compliant but inwardly resentful? Certainly there are times when we have to do things we’d rather not do, and times that we need to keep our opinions to ourselves, but if we’re doing it simply to avoid having a real conversation we’ve got a bigger problem. Jesus reminded His listeners, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil” (Matthew 5:37 ESV; see also James 5:12).

Sharon Hodde Miller commented in “Why Niceness Weakens Our Witness,”

“Niceness is concerned with the appearance of goodness and not the reality of it. It gives the facade of serving others but exists primarily to serve ourselves. In the end, niceness only makes us into ‘whitewashed tombs’ (Matt. 23:27)—pristine on the outside but empty within.”

Niceness keeps us from telling others the truth, confronting sin, or proclaiming the gospel to a lost and dying world. Miller refers to this as idolatry. It could also be called the fear of man. Somehow we’ve equated our Christian witness with always telling people what they want to hear. Elliot Clark wrote,

“For some time now, American Christians have conceived of their witness in terms of ‘sharing the gospel’… However, if by ‘sharing’ we imply a kind of charity where we only give the gospel to willing recipients, then our Christian vernacular has become a problem… Throughout the Book of Acts, we find repeated examples of authoritative witness—even in the face of suffering—from the apostles and early church. We find them proclaiming the gospel and speaking boldly.”

Although the Apostle Paul wrote that we are to be “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15), it seems like most of us prefer “veiling the truth for love.” We choose not to say something even when we know we should, just because it is easier to keep silent. There are plenty of biblical examples of people who had to say things they would rather not. In 2 Samuel 7, Nathan had to tell King David that he couldn’t build the Temple. If he had kept his mouth shut, David would have disobeyed God’s command. Then in chapter 12 Nathan had to confront David for his sin with Bathsheba. I’m sure that he did so with great trepidation. Jonah used all his ingenuity to try to avoid telling Ninevah that judgment was coming, and he suffered greatly for his choices. Peter and John had the option of keeping silent about Jesus as they had been commanded, but their response was “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard” (Acts 4:19-20).

It may be that you’ve been reminded of times when your words haven’t agreed with your thoughts and beliefs. I know I have. We should ask ourselves why that is the case. Was it truly out of love or was it some form of niceness to avoid ruffling any feathers? Was it displaying God’s image or preserving our own image? Was it intended to build up the Body of Christ and promote peace with God, or to maintain a superficial peace among men?

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25).

For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts” (1 Thessalonians 2:3-4).

© 2019 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Off Target

I’ve found this quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer to be challenging but true:

“[We] must ask ourselves whether we have not often been deceiving ourselves with our confession of sin to God, whether we have not rather been confessing our sins to ourselves and also granting ourselves absolution. And is not the reason perhaps for our countless relapses and the feebleness of our Christian obedience to be found precisely in the fact that we are living on self-forgiveness and not a real forgiveness? Self-forgiveness can never lead to a breach with sin; this can be accomplished only by the judging and pardoning Word of God itself… Our brother breaks the cycle of self-deception. A man who confesses his sins in the presence of a brother knows that he is no longer alone with himself he experiences the presence of God in the reality of the other person. As long as I am by myself in the confession of my sins everything remains in the dark, but in the presence of a brother the sin has to be brought into the light” (Life Together, 115-116).

It’s easy to remain in sin if it stays in the dark. Even if you’re truly confessing to God, the secrecy and shame often remain behind. But when you confess before a brother or sister in Christ, they can remind you of the truths of God’s Word—of forgiveness, fellowship, and freedom.

“But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:7-9 ESV). Note that forgiveness isn’t just between us and God, but it is an essential part of having fellowship with one another! Fellowship is hindered by secrecy, sin, and the illusion of superiority.

The comment is often made that the Greek word for sin can be translated as “missing the mark.” But using that as a definition of sin can be misleading. That gives the impression that you didn’t quite hit the bulls-eye, but came close, and if you just try a little harder you’ll be okay. The fact is that in our own strength we can’t even come close to the target. It’s more like trying to shoot an arrow to the North Star. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, it just ain’t happening! That being the case, why are we so reluctant to confess to one another? We’re all in the same boat, so why can’t we admit it?

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed…” (James 5:16a). It’s also commonly noted that confess means to “say with or agree with.” Yes, we have to agree with God that sin is sin. However, this verse from James leads me to think that we also need to say it with one another— “I’m a sinner.” “You too? I thought I was the only one!” We need to truly hear from one another so we can encourage one another and remind each other of who we are in Christ.

I was just listening to a talk by Amy Simpson on mental illness, and some of her comments can also be applied to sin: “We need to start by humbly acknowledging our own problems… I know that everyone in this room is flawed… The only people who are truly effective in ministering to others are those who are aware of this in themselves… If we set the example of acknowledging the reality that we are imperfect people and that our own families are imperfect, we help create a culture of authenticity that benefits all of us.” We can minister to others by being open and honest.

“But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life” (Romans 6:22). Secrecy is its own slave-master, but it is slavery that can be broken if we so choose.

 “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

© 2017 Dawn Rutan. 

Take the Next Step

Recently I searched for the word “walk” in the New Testament, and I was struck by the variety of instructions for how we are to walk:

• Walk in newness of life (Romans 6:4)
• Walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit (Romans 8:4)
• Walk properly as in the daytime (Romans 13:13)
• Walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7)
• Walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16 & 25)
• Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called (Ephesians 4:1)
• Walk in love (Ephesians 5:2)
• Walk as children of the light (Ephesians 5:8)
• Walk not as unwise but as wise (Ephesians 5:15)
• Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord (Colossians 1:10; 1 Thessalonians 2:12)
• Walk in Christ Jesus the Lord (Colossians 2:6)
• Walk in wisdom toward outsiders (Colossians 4:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:12)
• Walk in the light (1 John 1:7)
• Walk as Jesus walked (1 John 2:6)
• Walk according to His commandments (2 John 6)

Altogether, those verses pretty well illustrate what our lives should look like within the Body of Christ. Unfortunately, I’m not sure we do a very good job of living up to those expectations. There seems to be an abundance of unwise choices and walking in darkness. Of course, that’s obvious in the pastors who make the news, but it is at least as frequent among attendees of every church. While some of those church attenders are not actually Christians, they aren’t the only ones taking missteps.

We are all prone to depart from the “narrow way” at times. The main questions are how far off the path are we going to go and how long are we going to stay there? The further we stray into darkness, the harder it is to return to the light and the more likely it is that our sins will become known to others.

As we discussed in Bible study this week, when we try to cope with our sin in isolation, we’re going to have a hard time holding everything together and keeping it from ruling our lives. We desperately need the light of Christ to shine on our lives through close relationships with other believers. We need those people who will ask the hard questions and won’t settle for “Fine” as an answer to any question. We need people who will not just keep our secrets, but won’t let our secrets keep us from growing in holiness. We need people who can help us think through and pray for wise decisions in all areas of life.

How much sin would be avoided if every believer were held accountable by someone else? How much temptation would be diffused if we knew we’d have to tell someone if we gave in to it? There have been many times when I’ve needed that accountability to keep me from doing something I would soon regret, and there have been times when I didn’t have anyone when I needed someone.

Trillia Newbell writes the following on Why Accountability Matters (http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/why-accountability-matters):

“Consistent accountability has been a means of God’s protection in my life. To this day, though I’m further along in my walk than I was a decade ago, I do not believe I’m incapable of grievous sin (1 Corinthians 10:12). I am a new creation, and I have the Spirit’s power, but it’s no longer a surprise that when I want to do good, evil is close at hand (Romans 7:21). Understanding that we are all batting on the same team (all have sinned) means we can freely share with these close, trusted friends. Accountability allows us to confess patterns of temptation and in so doing we are restrained from actual transgression.”

I would challenge individuals and small groups to take the next step toward honesty and vulnerability with those who can be trusted.

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” –Ephesians 4:25