When you imagine the Apostle Paul, what sort of man do you see? A bold, fiery evangelist, unconcerned about what people think of him and unafraid of confronting sin? Certainly there are some examples of that in Scripture, such as when he opposed Peter for acting hypocritically (Gal. 2:11-14), and when Elymas the magician was deceiving the proconsul (Acts 13:6-12). However, there are other verses that paint a different picture:
“And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling” (1 Cor. 2:3).
“I, Paul, myself entreat you, by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—I who am humble when face to face with you, but bold toward you when I am away!” (2 Cor. 10:1).
“[Pray] also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak” (Eph. 6:19-20).
If those were the only descriptions you had of Paul, you might imagine him as a rather timid fellow, perhaps the way Timothy is often pictured. It can be easy to overlook a few verses when they don’t fit with our preconceived ideas. MacLaren’s Exposition of Acts 7 says this about Paul’s conversion experience:
“An overwhelming conviction flooded his soul that He whom he had taken to be an impostor, richly deserving the Cross that He endured, was living in glory, and was revealing Himself to Saul then and there. That truth crumbled his whole past into nothing; and he stood there trembling and astonished, like a man the ruins of whose house have fallen about his ears.”
No doubt Paul ended up questioning all that he thought was true, including how he needed to relate to these Christians he had despised. What he had previously considered as strengths were now his weaknesses (Phil 3:3-11).
Even those of us who have grown up in church may trust in the wrong things. We may rely on our natural abilities rather than God’s strength. Or we may assume that we are supposed to fit a particular stereotype if we are “good Christians” fulfilling God’s commands to evangelize and make disciples. If that were the case, God sure wasted a lot of creativity on humanity.
As some have said, we are uniquely created on purpose and for a purpose. There are a lot of people in the world and in church that I don’t understand, and I can’t imagine what it’s like to live their lives. They are probably just as baffled by me. We have different personalities, interests, abilities, and communication styles. God can use all of those things for His purposes if we submit them to His lordship. If we don’t, they are likely to trip us up and may cause us to glorify ourselves rather than God.
I’m probably more like Timothy than Paul, but mostly I’m just me, as God created me, redeemed me, and is sanctifying me. And that’s okay.
“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness” (2 Cor. 11:30).
© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.
