Who's In?

I’ve been catching up on episodes of The Chosen, and just watched the season 4 episode “The Last Sign.” In that episode in particular, there are various conversations between the disciples as they wonder, “Did you expect things to go this way?” Each one came with different expectations. You can almost feel sorry for Judas as he tries to push things in the way he thinks they are supposed to go, because he’s got a particular idea of what the Messiah is supposed to do. And for all the disciples, the death of Lazarus seemed like an anomaly. And then when Jesus raised him from the dead the question arose why Lazarus raised and not others they had loved and lost. I suspect we all have times when we want to say, “This isn’t what I signed up for!”

In a recent episode of the Being Human podcast, Steve Cuss interviewed Beth Moore. Towards the end he comments on the fact that she felt a strong call to ministry when she was really young, but she never imagined that she would have a ministry of trauma healing and helping those who battle mental illness. Beth says, “We would no more have signed up for the ministries He ends up calling us to than anything. And yet, when all is said and done, these have been the things that mattered most.”

Beth went on to mention the man born blind in John 9. When the disciples ask whose fault it was that the man was blind, Jesus responds, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him” (v. 3). Perhaps his whole life he’d wondered why he had to deal with this particular form of suffering. Maybe he had sought out healers in the past and been disappointed. But then Jesus came along and healed him—so that God’s work might be displayed in him. It doesn’t take long for the man to start proclaiming that Jesus is a prophet (v. 17).

What things make you wonder “Why is this part of my life?” Maybe it’s a physical problem, an emotional challenge, or relationship issues. It could be just about anything. Have you ever considered how God might use it for His glory? It may be something as simple as your testimony of God’s sustaining you through dark times. You are the only one who can share your particular testimony, and it may help someone who is experiencing trials of their own.

Sometimes in the church we may give people the impression that following Jesus makes life easy and doubt-free. I think we do a disservice to our young people especially when we don’t share the struggles we face at all stages of life, even when we are faithfully serving God. Rebecca Olson wrote in A New Normal: Learning to Thrive in Suffering:

“Your response to a shipwrecked life may draw more of the right kind of attention to God than a lifetime of smooth sailing. Your commitment to honor God even in your doubt and confusion can prove to a watching world that God is worth following... Furthermore, not only does your steadfast commitment to Christ present a compelling witness to unbelievers, but your perspective on your own suffering emboldens other believers (see 2Co 11).”

In my many miles of trail hiking and running, I’ve realized that the narrower the trail is, the more twists, turns, bumps, and roots there are to trip over. Wide trails make it easier to speed along without concerns. Jesus said the wide path is easy, but it leads to destruction. “The gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matt. 7:14). He never promised an easy life or smooth sailing for those who follow Him. But He did promise that He’d be with us through the hills and valleys and every bump and turn of the trail.

When we come to those times of wondering what in the world God is up to, and we’re tempted to say “This isn’t what I thought I was signing up for,” we can return again and again to the words of Peter, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life” (John 6:68). We probably brought some misconceptions with us when we decided to follow Jesus, and we’ve all faced detours that took us in directions we weren’t prepared to go. But in the end, there is only One who can redeem all our trials and use them for our eternal good and His glory. Why would we turn away now?

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope” (Rom. 5:3-4).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Root and Fruit of Hope

According to Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, the noun for “hope” (elpis) in the New Testament most often means “expectation of good, hope; and in the Christian sense, joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation.” If you read through the list of verses (here), it usually refers to hope in God and in the promise of eternal life through faith in Christ. The verb form (elpizo) sometimes has the idea of a wish or desire (such as Phil. 2:23), though also refers to fixing one’s hope on God.

I haven’t heard this elsewhere, but I’ve been thinking about it like this—true hope is rooted in God and what He has promised from and for all eternity. Out of that root grow the fruit of godly desires for this life and for what God is doing in us and through us. The root of eternal hope gives us meaning and purpose in life.

I think it is helpful to differentiate between the root of hope and its fruit, because although we may desire certain outcomes, most of them are not guaranteed for this lifetime. We trust in God and His plan, but the specifics are out of our control. We know that God will bring many people to faith in Him, but we don’t know whether that will include a particular person we love. We know that God has put His people together into local church bodies to work together to share the Gospel and disciple others, but we don’t know whether our particular church will be faithful to that call or will even exist ten years from now. (Three churches I’ve attended in the past are now closed.) We know that one day all believers will be resurrected to a perfect existence, but we don’t know whether our family member will be cured from their illness here and now. We know that God will strengthen His people to endure suffering, but we don’t know if our particular area of suffering will come to an end before we die.

That’s why I have often said that my hope is almost entirely in eternity and not in this life, because the things that I would like to see happen here are not guaranteed. God is at work and He will fulfill His purposes, but His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are not my ways (Is. 55:8). I will wish and pray for the outcomes I desire, but ultimately, I must say, “Thy will be done.”

I believe this is one of the lessons from the life of Job. He had certain expectations of his life, but God allowed him to suffer in ways that didn’t make sense to him. So often we quote only the first half of Job 13:15, “Though He slay me, I will hope in Him; yet I will argue my ways to His face.” In the end, Job realized that his assumptions were misplaced. God never did answer Job’s questions, but He did remind Job that He was still in control of all things. Job’s hope couldn’t be in his prosperity, his family, his understanding, or even his religious activities, but in God alone.

I have sometimes called myself a cynic, but actually I’m what this article from TGC calls a hopeful realist.

“This is a perspective that embraces the dual realities of contemporary evil and forthcoming redemption. It lives in the tension of a groaning creation and its imminent restoration.”

I have no illusions that things in this life will go the way I want them to, but I cling to the hope that God will one day make all things new and “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 21:4). In the meantime, we are all meant to be working in the pursuit of God’s will and living in obedience to His Great Commission and Great Commandment.

“If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied” (1 Cor. 15:19).

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” (Rom. 15:13).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Three Sheepish Questions

I had thought perhaps I would have nothing to post this week, but an impulsive decision to pick up a book from the church library changed that (and I came home with two books instead).

I was thinking about what it means for us to be sheep under God’s care, and wanted to revisit While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks, by Tim Laniak. In the first chapter he quotes Deuteronomy 8:2-3 (ESV):

“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that He might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart... And He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna... that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.”

That led me to the question— What hunger is God allowing in my life right now in order to make me realize my need for what He alone can provide?

A similar thought came from the second book I picked up, Lord, I Just Want to Be Happy, by Leslie Vernick (p. 35):

“Whether we realize it or not, many of us are captive to the lie that something other than God will bring us happiness and fulfill our longings. When we put our hope in or expect something or someone other than him to fill us and make us happy, he will surely frustrate us. But he doesn’t do it to punish us. He does it to rescue us from our disordered attachments and delusions, and from ourselves. God promises to meet our needs—but what we feel we need, and what we truly need, may be very different.”

So I come to another variation of the question— What are the false expectations that I need to let go of in order to find God’s provision to be sufficient?

And in another book I’m rereading, John Ortberg lists in The Me I Want to Be several counterfeit “me’s” that we fall prey to, including the “me” I think I should be and the “me” others expect me to be. I’ve been reminded that many of the expectations I place on myself have nothing to do with God’s desires for me. I mistakenly think I should be a certain way or do certain things to fulfill what I think others are expecting of me, and heaven forbid that I should say No or admit that I can’t do everything.

Thus my third variation of the question is— What does God really expect of me and how do I live accordingly?

Those three questions are probably ones we should all consider at times. They can help us align our priorities with God’s, reduce some of our anxieties, and perhaps even lead to greater peace and joy. I don’t know how others might answer those questions. I thought of a few specific examples of things I’ve been dealing with lately:

1) The lie: I need to resolve this situation by myself in a way that doesn’t cost the company money.

The truth: I need to admit that I’m stressed and I don’t know what to do and remember that this is not ultimately my responsibility. The company, the money, and the problem are all in God’s hands. It may be more important for me to remember that I am not autonomous than it is for us to save a little money. It’s also more important for us to honor God with our actions than to pinch pennies.

2) The lie: I need to provide every detail of information on this subject in order to protect people.

The truth: I will do my best and provide what I know, but I will never have all the knowledge I think I need or the ability to make others heed it. There are people far more qualified to answer most questions, and I can only urge people to find the best resources available.

3) The lie: I need to be victorious over depression in order to be a good witness.

The truth: God doesn’t need me to be fixed, perfect, or even okay. He can use me for His purposes no matter what. Although I may not be a good example of endurance, I am learning to endure. And though my faith is often weak it is growing.

Some of the things I need to let go of in order to trust the provision of the Good Shepherd are my pride, perfectionism, and performance. God doesn’t need me to have all the answers, because He has them already. God doesn’t intend for me to be autonomous, but He gave me a place in the Body of Christ. In order to live under His shepherding I need to admit my weakness, ask for help, and accept the grace and mercy that is all around.

I don’t think this is the end of the subject for me. It’s something I need to keep wrestling with every day in order to become the me God has created me to be.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” –Psalm 139:23-24

What Did You Expect?

Typically September has been a month of increasing depression for me. Thankfully, this September has started out better than average. It seems odd that the lack of major depression creates as many or more questions for me than the experience of depression. I guess I don’t want to hope for something that is unlikely to happen (complete freedom from depression). I want all my hopes to be based in scriptural faith, and my expectations to follow, and “In this world you will have trouble.” I want God’s perfect will with or without depression, but I fully expect it to be with depression. After all, it’s been 40 years so far and I don’t see much reason it should change now. Whether it’s September, or monthly, or all the time, I’m pretty much used to it in varying degrees.

Tim Keller made a few points in Walking with God through Pain and Suffering (pp. 190-192):

“First, suffering transforms our attitude toward ourselves. It humbles us and removes unrealistic self-regard and pride… Suffering also leads us to examine ourselves and see weaknesses…

“Second, suffering will profoundly change our relationship to the good things in our lives. We will see that some things have become too important to us…

“Third, and most of all, suffering can strengthen our relationship to God as nothing else can... Suffering drives us toward God to pray as we never would otherwise…

“Finally, suffering is almost a prerequisite if we are going to be of much use to other people, especially when they go through their own trials.”

Keller also quotes research that says:

“The prevailing view is… that the depressive person tends to distort reality in a negative way… [But recent research has] turned this received wisdom on its head, providing evidence that it is not the depressive who distorts reality but the so-called healthy population… Even if depression does distort reality in a negative way… the fact remains that it removes the positive self-biases that are seen in the non-depressed… With recover [from depression], and with the lifting of the mood, a new kind of truth could emerge” (189).

A couple Scriptures come to mind:

Philippians 3:8, 10-11 (ESV)- “For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ… that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.”

Psalm 139:23-24- “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”

With those thoughts in mind, my prayer has been that God would reveal where my thoughts and expectations are in need of change, where they might be based on human experience and interpretation rather than on truth, reality, and Scripture. So I took the time to read through Jesus’ words in the Gospel of John, and a few things stood out as I read.

1)      It’s all about God’s glory—revealing the Father; worshiping in spirit and truth; doing the Father’s will. “The one who speaks on his own authority seeks his own glory; but the one who seeks the glory of him who sent him is true, and in him there is no falsehood” (7:18).

2)      Fulfillment is found in Jesus—the Bread of Life, the Living Water, the Good Shepherd, the Light of the World, the Resurrection and the Life.

3)      Suffering reveals the glory of God, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him” (9:3).

4)      Jesus cares for the needy, the wounded, the stragglers, even the leftovers: “Gather up the leftover fragments, that nothing may be lost” (6:12). “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of My hand” (10:27-28).

5)      Jesus faced the sorrow of the lost and hurting and wept over them. “Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me…” (12:25-26). “A servant is not greater than his master…” (13:16), and since He was a “man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53), we can expect the same, along with the hatred of the world (15:18-20).

6)      “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit His prunes that it may bear more fruit” (15:2). Abiding in the Vine can be painful, because no one prunes a branch that is not part of the Vine.

7)      This world is full of sorrow for those who follow Christ, “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” (16:22). I’ve always assumed (or perhaps been taught) that this referred to Jesus’ resurrection and appearance to the disciples. But it seems more likely that He’s referring to the Second Coming, when all the sorrow will be permanently erased and there will be nothing left to interfere with God’s perfect will.

8)      “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (16:33). That overcoming will not be fully realized in this age.  “I do not ask that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from the evil one” (17:15).

It is clear scripturally that those who are seeking happiness in this life are more likely to be disappointed than those who expect suffering. Whether it is cynicism or realism, I don’t really expect my feelings to radically improve. At the same time, I feel closer to God in sorrow than in attempted joy. I feel more usable in hearing from God and communicating His love and comfort to others. I’m more aware that sanctification is made evident through humility and weakness as I have to rely more on God.

All that to say (at least for the moment), I’m okay with emotional friability if it means that God can use me for His purposes. I am thankful for the brief respites I have received, which have served to renew my endurance. The story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19 is often on my mind, and I look ahead that “times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19). 

Expectancy

It hadn't occurred to me till this week that a synonym for hope is expectant. Doesn't "expectant mother" sound more hopeful than "pregnant"? (Personally, I like the term used in the Opus cartoons years ago- "infanticipating.") 

Since we're nearing Advent, I've been thinking about the hope that Mary must have had after learning that she was to be the mother of the Messiah. The announcement from an angel must have started hope growing. Then her visit to Elizabeth strengthened her hope. The shepherds' arrival reinforced her hope even more. She had the expectation of not only raising a child, but a child unlike any other. 

Jesus would literally be the Hope of the world. Mary had no way of knowing how that hope would be fulfilled, though the words of Simeon in Luke 2 told Mary it would not be easy for her to witness-- "A sword will pierce your own soul as well." The ultimate hope for the world would come through the pain of a sacrificial death. The expectation of eternal life came through the apparent hopelessness of death. 

For this first Sunday of Advent, I wonder what hopes we are cherishing right now? If hope is based on expectation, what are we truly expecting, not just wishing for? Christmas tends to become a time of wishing, rather than hopeful expectation.

-Wishing for a particular gift, or wishing for the money to buy the "perfect" gift.

-Wishing for a change of circumstances, or wishing things wouldn't keep changing. 

-Wishing for the holiday season to last, or wishing for it to be over. 

But hopeful expectancy is found in Christ. We can expect that He will always love His children (2 Thessalonians 2:16). We can expect that He is always at work in our lives, making even the hard times work for His purposes (Romans 8:28). We can expect that He will cause spiritual fruit to grow in our lives as we trust in Him (Galatians 5:22-23). And one day we can expect to see Him face to face when He comes in glory (2 Thessalonians 1:10).

-In Christ, we already have the perfect gift, and we are encouraged to share it with others so that it might be multiplied. 

-In Christ, we know that we are loved, accepted, and forgiven, regardless of our circumstances. 

-In Christ, every day is a holy day, set apart for us to serve Him and glorify Him by using the gifts He has given us. 

May this Christmas be one of growing hopefulness as we expect God to fulfill His scriptural promises in our lives!