You're Welcome

I had a conversation this week with someone about the culture in some churches that unintentionally build barriers to keep out anyone who does not fit a particular stereotype. It is often said that Sunday morning is the most segregated time of the week, not just racially, but in many other ways as well. Suits vs. jeans? Ties vs. tattoos? Unfamiliar with the liturgy? Wrong Bible translation? We wouldn’t (I hope!) tell them they can’t come in the building, but we may not go out of our way to make others feel loved and welcomed. I heard somewhere recently that most churches think they are more welcoming than they are perceived by newcomers.

After spending more than 5 hours at the DMV last week and observing the variety of people waiting, I spent some time thinking about that interesting gathering. I kind of wished I could get to know a couple of the people better, but wondered if they would feel as comfortable talking about real life at a church gathering as they did with strangers at the DMV.

In the latest episode of the You’re Not Crazy podcast, Sam Allberry and Ray Ortlund were talking about Romans 14-15. These chapters deal with church conflict and disagreements about what is acceptable. This section of Scripture includes “Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God” (Rom. 15:7). Sam made the comment, “If I don’t welcome someone God has welcomed, what I’m saying is, I know better than God. I’ve got better standards than Him.”

When Jesus was talking about the final judgment, He indicated that some would be told, “I was a stranger and you did not welcome Me, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me” (Matt. 25:43). How many people even within a local church feel like they have to keep their “true self” hidden in order to be welcome? How many secrets sit in pews on Sunday morning?

In our current culture, I suspect most of us don’t even want to talk about who we’re going to vote for in the general election, much less about what temptations we’re struggling with or the problems in our lives and families. Disagreement on even minor issues seems to lead to alienation, so who dares to talk about things that really matter?

I have my own secrets that are likely to remain secret because of things I’ve heard said by church members in the past. Although I can be the chameleon who blends into a variety of settings, I’m not convinced that some people would still welcome me if they knew all the stuff I keep hidden. Even though I am confident that God welcomes me and loves me, I’m not so sure about the attitudes of some of His people.

When Christian news sources are full of stories about church splits, lawsuits, and coverups, it doesn’t give a lot of confidence that we are “eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3). It’s striking that the verses just before that say that part of walking in a manner worthy of our calling is to exercise “all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love” (vv. 1-2). Welcoming those who are unlike us requires the humility of remembering that we are not the final judge of someone’s salvation or sanctification. God delights in saving people that we may consider unlikely candidates! Even the apostles included a spectrum from fishermen to tax collectors, to persecutors of the church. If we dare to look in the mirror, we may see a bit of Pharisee in our reflection.

How is your church putting out the welcome sign? Would the stranger from the DMV feel comfortable walking in the door? Have you visited a different church recently to remember what it feels like?

“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight” (Rom. 12:16).

© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Welcome to My World

In the November 2022 issue of Christianity Today, author John Koessler in his article “Truth, Love & Social Media” shares the following:

“After 18th-century literary icon Samuel Johnson had dinner at a friend’s house, his biographer, James Boswell, asked if the conversation had been any good. ‘No, Sir,’ he said. ‘We had talk enough, but no conversation; there was nothing discussed.’

“Johnson’s friend had offered one kind of hospitality at that dinner party, but not another kind: discussion. Conversation, whether remote or in person, is an exercise in hospitality, or welcoming the other. When we engage someone in conversation, we invite them into our thinking.”

Somehow, in the modern church we’ve gotten the idea that hospitality means inviting people into your nice clean home for a classy meal. While that is one expression of hospitality, it’s certainly not the only one. What most of us want is to be seen and known, to have real conversations about real issues. It doesn’t matter where those conversations take place. It could be in your home, your office, the church fellowship hall, or a table at Arby’s (or Chick-fil-A if you’re a “good” Christian).

I think the hardest times in my life have been when I felt like I had no one to talk to, no one who really knew me. Isolation is not only disheartening, but it can also be an enticement to sin. We may say, “If the church isn’t there for me, then I’ll find some other community that will be.” The Bible has more than 30 “one another” commands in the letters of the Apostle Paul alone, and there are another half dozen references to hospitality. That seems to indicate that it is important to God.

“God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Cor. 12:24b-26).

How might we foster those kinds of “one another” conversations in our churches? Who do you see who might be living in isolation and need a listening ear?

“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God” (Rom. 15:5-7).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Welcome

“Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God” (Romans 15:7).

Sam Allberry and Ray Ortlund have started a podcast called “You’re Not Crazy.” In a recent episode Allberry said, “We’ve turned the gospel into the cancellation of debt. We’re preaching mercy more than we’re preaching grace. So I actually went many years in my Christian life not really hearing about the welcome of Jesus. I heard about the debt-cancelling death of Jesus: you’re now not a problem to Jesus. I didn’t hear much about what we’ve been saved into…”

I’d say that my experience was similar. For many years I heard about God’s forgiveness, though not in a way that gave me much assurance that God wouldn’t get tired of hearing my confession. I always felt like I had to keep up with a performance to please God. It still strikes me that when I told my Resident Director in college that I thought God was disappointed with me, she didn’t have any good or biblical response, though I realize now that she wasn’t much further along in her faith that I was. It was a long time before I really understood that God loved me while I was still dead in my sins (Eph. 2:4-5), that He chose me and adopted me into His family not reluctantly but willingly (Eph. 1:4-5), and that He welcomed me wholeheartedly. I’m still growing in that understanding.

The Gospel Coalition podcast had an episode this week with Dane Ortlund (Ray’s son) that covered some of the themes in his book Gentle and Lowly. He made the comment:

“The way a ministry leader approaches others is how he believes or she believes God approaches them. When you see a harsh leader… you are seeing what he believes God is most deeply like toward him, and when you see a gentle pastor, you are seeing what he believes God is most deeply like toward him… We are not only preaching and teaching what God is with what we say, but also how God is with how we say it… Your person is more powerful than your words.”

That makes me wonder, did my lack of understanding of God’s loving and gentle welcome come more from the words that I heard (or didn’t hear) or from what I saw in those who were trying to teach me? Probably it was a combination of both. How well do most churches demonstrate God’s welcome by welcoming others? We all probably need to work on communicating God’s welcoming love more effectively and frequently. It’s not just up to the pastor or the Sunday school teacher or the youth leader. It’s really up to all of us. As the new person or the child growing up in church begins to feel known and loved by the people there, it becomes easier for them to believe that God also knows and loves them just as they are.

Jesus pointed out in Matthew 25:31-46 that if we welcome strangers we are welcoming Him. And in Paul’s words in Romans 15:7, that contributes to the glory of God. Why? Because we get a glimpse into the character of God and come to know Him a little better.

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:16).

 

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.