I had a conversation this week with someone about the
culture in some churches that unintentionally build barriers to keep out anyone
who does not fit a particular stereotype. It is often said that Sunday morning
is the most segregated time of the week, not just racially, but in many other
ways as well. Suits vs. jeans? Ties vs. tattoos? Unfamiliar with the liturgy?
Wrong Bible translation? We wouldn’t (I hope!) tell them they can’t come in the
building, but we may not go out of our way to make others feel loved and
welcomed. I heard somewhere recently that most churches think they are more
welcoming than they are perceived by newcomers.
After spending more than 5 hours at the DMV last week and observing
the variety of people waiting, I spent some time thinking about that
interesting gathering. I kind of wished I could get to know a couple of the
people better, but wondered if they would feel as comfortable talking about
real life at a church gathering as they did with strangers at the DMV.
In the latest episode of the You’re Not Crazy podcast, Sam Allberry and Ray Ortlund were talking about
Romans 14-15. These chapters deal with church conflict and disagreements about
what is acceptable. This section of Scripture includes “Therefore welcome one
another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God” (Rom. 15:7). Sam made
the comment, “If I don’t welcome someone God has welcomed, what I’m saying is,
I know better than God. I’ve got better standards than Him.”
When Jesus was talking about the final judgment, He
indicated that some would be told, “I was a stranger and you did not welcome
Me, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit
Me” (Matt. 25:43). How many people even within a local church feel like they
have to keep their “true self” hidden in order to be welcome? How many secrets
sit in pews on Sunday morning?
In our current culture, I suspect most of us don’t even want
to talk about who we’re going to vote for in the general election, much less
about what temptations we’re struggling with or the problems in our lives and families.
Disagreement on even minor issues seems to lead to alienation, so who dares to
talk about things that really matter?
I have my own secrets that are likely to remain secret
because of things I’ve heard said by church members in the past. Although I can
be the chameleon who blends into a variety of settings, I’m not convinced that
some people would still welcome me if they knew all the stuff I keep hidden. Even
though I am confident that God welcomes me and loves me, I’m not so sure about
the attitudes of some of His people.
When Christian news sources are full of stories about church
splits, lawsuits, and coverups, it doesn’t give a lot of confidence that we are
“eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3). It’s
striking that the verses just before that say that part of walking in a manner
worthy of our calling is to exercise “all humility and gentleness, with
patience, bearing with one another in love” (vv. 1-2). Welcoming those who are
unlike us requires the humility of remembering that we are not the final judge
of someone’s salvation or sanctification. God delights in saving people that we
may consider unlikely candidates! Even the apostles included a spectrum from
fishermen to tax collectors, to persecutors of the church. If we dare to look
in the mirror, we may see a bit of Pharisee in our reflection.
How is your church putting out the welcome sign? Would the stranger
from the DMV feel comfortable walking in the door? Have you visited a different
church recently to remember what it feels like?
“Live in harmony with one
another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your
own sight” (Rom. 12:16).
© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.
