When You Don't Feel

Scrolling through some old podcasts, I found some from 2023 with Brant Hansen on Family Life Today. He made the comment that our culture places far too much emphasis on feelings, and noted that if there is no absolute truth, then all you have left are feelings. The unwritten rule is “If it feels good, do it!” Even in the church we can go astray when we place more emphasis on our “experience” of God and faith than we do our beliefs. As Paul said in Acts 16:31, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.” The Bible never says, “If you feel saved” or “You should feel God’s love for you.” If we imply that the assurance of salvation is something we must feel, then a whole lot of people have reason to question their faith.

In that set of podcasts, Brant and host Dave Wilson both share that they don’t seem to experience their faith the way some other people do. I’d say I’m probably pretty similar to them. I usually don’t feel anything in particular in times of worship, Bible study, or prayer (unless I happen to be in a time of deeper depression that makes me teary). Sometimes I will get choked up when someone shares a testimony, though that’s rare. And the only couple times I know God has spoken to me were when I knew I had to do something I didn’t want to do, like repent! So if I were depending on my experiences to define my faith, I’d definitely feel like I was missing something.

Some people are more reactive to certain stimuli, and they may regularly find church to be a very moving experience, but that doesn’t necessarily mean their faith is stronger. Some people can be manipulated by the style of music, but they may or may not have a good knowledge of the Bible or what it means to trust God.

Feelings are not always based on facts, and can change with time or circumstances. When feelings diminish or are missing altogether, faith must say “I know this to be true whether I feel it or not.” That is reflected in many of the people listed in Hebrews 11. They obeyed by faith even when they didn’t understand all the details or sense immediate rewards for their actions.

It is repeated several times in Scripture that “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness” (e.g. Rom. 4). It is belief that matters, not “feel good” experiences. How many people go to the altar repeatedly because they no longer feel saved? And how many others are relying on some experience they had in the past even though their lives give no evidence of obedience to Christ?

I’m reminded of a chorus that became popular in the 1970s that never made much sense to me, “Sure the presence of the Lord is in this place, I can feel His might power and His grace…” Maybe some people do have that experience in worship, but not me. I don’t think we should presume something is normative when Scripture doesn’t make it so. There weren’t a lot of people in the Bible who had direct experiences of God’s presence, and those who did usually ended up bowing down in fear (e.g. Ex. 3:5-6; Is. 6:5; Acts 9:4).

If we always felt God’s love, we wouldn’t worry so much about whether other people love us or approve of us. If we always sensed God’s presence, we wouldn’t really need faith. And if such experiences were universal, our churches would be full because no one would have reason to doubt. But since we can’t rely on our feelings and senses to “prove” God’s existence, we have to decide if we’re going to trust that what the Bible says is true and keep walking by faith.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen [or experienced]” (11:1).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

One in Christ

I spent last week at the Appalachian regional family camp for my denomination, which I’ve been attending for a dozen years or so. I was struck by how this particular camp reflected what the body of Christ is supposed to be. Aside from the usual hugs and laughter, we united in prayer for a couple people facing serious medical issues and others who have lost loved ones. There was a lot of encouragement, remembering, worship, and pointing one another to the truths of Scripture and who God is. The week ended with the regional delegate meeting where there was the potential for divisiveness, but that was averted through a lot of prayer and remembering that we are in this work together.

Whether it is among denominations, regions, churches, or our individual lives, we can be quick to forget that we are one body. We often feel isolated, and we think we have to take matters into our own hands to get anything done. In Ephesians 4, Paul is emphatic:

“Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body… [gifted by God] to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith…” (1-4, 12-13).

When we truly believe that we are one in Christ, we are more likely to pursue His will through prayer, rather than setting our own agendas. We will be more concerned to “look not only to [our] own interest, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 24). We can seek to understand where others are coming from, rather than making assumptions.

On the individual level, being part of the body of Christ is a reminder that we are not meant to live in isolation or to keep all our problems and worries secret. Henri Nouwen wrote in The Inner Voice of Love:

“Your journey is made not just for yourself but for all who belong to the body… The journey you are choosing is Jesus’ journey, and whether or not you are fully aware of it, you are also asking your brothers and sisters to follow you… Your choices also call your friends to make new choices” (50).

As members of one body, we come together to share our heartaches, joys, struggles, and join in the work set before us all. We encourage one another (1 Thess. 4:18), pray for one another (James 5:16), equip one another (Eph. 4:12), and spur one another on to love and good deeds (Heb. 10:24). Family camp happens to be a good example of extended quality time together, but these things should also be occurring on a regular basis through local churches and small groups. We were never meant to go through this life alone.

“If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it” (1 Cor. 12:26-27).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan text and photo from AACA campground in 2020. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Out of Control

Many in our world are running after power and control. From rulers of nations to overseers of households, we don’t like things that are unpredictable or outside of our control. And yet even in our own lives there is much we cannot do. Henri Nouwen wrote in The Inner Voice of Love:

“There are places in you where you are completely powerless. You so much want to heal yourself, fight your temptations, and stay in control. But you cannot do it yourself… Your willingness to let go of your desire to control your life reveals a certain trust. The more you relinquish your stubborn need to maintain power, the more you will get in touch with the One who has the power to heal and guide you. And the more you get in touch with that divine power, the easier it will be to confess to yourself and to others your basic powerlessness” (27).

God never intended for us to be self-sufficient. We were made to fulfill different roles on earth, and thus we need one another for basic survival. And we were made for relationships, so we need to give and receive love. And above all this, we need God, our Creator and Sustainer, to maintain our very existence. Jesus said to His disciples:

“And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? … But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith!” (Luke 12:25, 28).

We can’t even grow a tomato apart from God, much less control the events of our lives or the actions of others. Warren Wiersbe has a short book on John 15 titled Abide. He notes:

“The Father often has to remind us that we are branches and not the Vine itself. He permits us to go through circumstances that bring out our weakness and His strength. He repeatedly teaches us, ‘apart from me, you can do nothing’ (Jn. 15:5).”

It’s tempting to think that we have more control than we actually do, but it doesn’t take much to derail our plans. A doctor’s diagnosis, a reckless driver, a temperamental coworker, an unexpected flood, “the best laid schemes of mouse and men go oft awry” (Robert Burns).

In each and every situation, our learned response should be to turn to the One who is omniscient and omnipotent, and trust that He will sustain us to His determined end. Nouwen wrote, “Be quiet, acknowledge your powerlessness, and have faith that one day you will know how much you have received” (28).

“I welcome everything that comes to me today, because I know it’s for my healing.

I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations, and conditions.

I let go of my desire for power and control.

I let go of my desire for affection, esteem, approval, and pleasure.

I let go of my desire for survival and security.

I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person, or myself.

I open to the love and presence of God and God’s action within. Amen.”

–Thomas Keating

“For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men… Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord” (1 Cor. 1:25, 31).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Eyes Have It

The subject of social media and artificial intelligence has come up on recent episodes in two different podcasts that I listen to. (Links are below.) In both cases, they warned of the increasing relational disconnect that we are experiencing. We are made for connection with other people. One of the first skills we learned as infants was to make eye contact with our parents. And before long, we learned how to follow someone else’s gaze to see what they were looking at. Sight, sound, and touch are vital to our development as children and our health as adults. Those with visual or auditory deficits rely on their other senses even more. (Imagine if Helen Keller had never had Anne Sullivan to learn from.) It has long been known that infants don’t thrive if they are kept isolated or ignored in their cribs.

I watched a behind the scenes clip from a favorite PBS drama, and was a little surprised to hear one of the directors say that he prefers real film for close-up scenes because the digital cameras somehow lose the sparkle in the eyes. Actors look less human simply by using digital technology.

Why is it that we have accepted so readily this disembodied life that technology facilitates? Why is it so easy for us to self-isolate and pull away from small groups and corporate worship? I believe this is one of the great deceptions foisted on us by the enemy of our souls, that screens are an acceptable alternative to life together. It’s ironic that we turn from the “one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus” (1 Tim. 2:5) and we turn to media that is neither god nor man.

When God created the world, He quickly proclaimed, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18). He wasn’t referring just to marriage, but to relationships with others as well. Apparently, it was also a regular practice for God Himself to show up in the Garden of Eden and talk with Adam and Eve (Gen. 3:8). Then in the turning point of the biblical narrative, “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14). Though there were written Scriptures, the incarnation was essential because God is a relational being. He could have created some impersonal method of salvation, but that wasn’t good enough for His plan. He wasn’t just saving people from their sin and its consequences. He was saving them to relationship with Him for eternity. And not just with Him, but with all of His children by faith.

I have a suspicion that in the new heavens and new earth, there’s going to be a lot less reliance on technology and a lot more relational interaction, because that is how God designed us. My local grocery store just installed several self-checkouts, despite the fact that they’d tried once before and no one used them. Even though I’m not a terribly social person, I want to interact with real cashiers and at least try to share a smile with them and thank them for their work.

Facebook seems to think that all I need in life is more videos of pandas rolling down hills, and ideas for new Lego builds. But what I need, and what I think we all need, are reminders that there are real people who will look us in the eye and actually see us for who we are. We need that in our daily lives, at work or school, running errands, and especially through our local churches as we connect with one another and worship God together.

Technology can sometimes help to keep lines of communication open (though it can also hurt too), but screens can never replace relationships with real people. Let’s not let them.

“For this people’s heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed, lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them” (Matt. 13:14, quoting Isaiah 6:9-10).

***

Russell Moore interview with Nicholas Carr- “Building Attention in a Digital Age”

Geoff Holsclaw interview with Joshua Cocanye- “Why We Gather: The Neuroscience Behind Corporate Worship”

The Life of Helen Keller film segment

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Not My Job

Sometime during the night I was thinking about Matthew 14 (and parallels in the other Gospels) where Jesus has been teaching the people. At the end of the day the disciples suggest that Jesus should send the crowds away to find food. Jesus responds, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat” (Matt. 14:16). He knew perfectly well that they didn’t have enough food on hand to serve more than 5000 people. He already knew how He planned to provide the food for them. I was reminded of an interview where Dallas Jenkins said,

“God does impossible math... Your job is not to feed the 5000 but to give Him your loaves and fish… My job is not to worry about the impact or to worry about the multiplication, it’s just to make sure whatever loaves and fish I do provide are as good and healthy as they can be.”

Some of us are pretty good at worrying about the details. “How is this going to work?” “What if...?” My personality leads to me look for all the answers before anyone asks me the questions, because I don’t want to look ignorant or incompetent. (Yeah, I know, pride and shame are flip sides of the same coin.) I have to be reminded often “That’s not your job.” Not only is it impossible for any person to know all the answers or to have all the resources, God actually delights in showing up in our weakness.

He can multiply resources in ways we never even imagined. He has answers to questions we never thought of asking. He arranges circumstances for events we never expected. All He asks is that we keep showing up and giving Him what little we have to offer, in particular through the spiritual gifts He has given us.

“Having gifts that differ according to the grace give to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness” (Rom. 12:6-8).

We each do our small part and trust God for the outcome. Part of the challenge, at least for me, is in discerning where my part ends and God’s begins. I could research, study, and plan for eons and never feel like I’m done. There comes a time when we each have to say, “I’ve done what I know to do,” and let it go. If God wants something to happen, He can do it without me figuring out all the details. In fact, He will get more glory if I end up saying, “Oh, I never would have thought of that.”

Even the disciples didn’t get it. Shortly after the feeding of the 5000, they had the same question with a crowd of 4000. “Where are we to get enough bread in such a desolate place to feed so great a crowd?” (Matt. 15:33). Human math just doesn’t quite add up when God is involved. At such times, I think it is okay (though hard) to say, “God, I can’t make sense of this, so I guess my job is to trust You now.”

In what is becoming one of my favorite scenes in the Gospels, a man brought his son to the disciples and asked them to cast out the evil spirit that was tormenting him. The disciples were failing miserably when Jesus showed up and proclaimed, “All things are possible for one who believes.” The father cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:23-24). The disciples hadn’t yet figured out that they didn’t have the power to do anything apart from God. The job for the disciples, as for all of us, is to believe God can do and will do things we could never ask or imagine, because that’s His job.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Upside Down

“You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth You will bring me up again” (Psalm 71:20).

I have mixed feelings about this particular verse. It is a precious promise of what God can do and will do for His children. And yet that first phrase is a little scary. “You made me see troubles and calamities”? Does God cause suffering? A parallel might be the opening of the book of Job. Satan attacks Job, yet it is only by God’s permission. Or in Genesis 50:20, Joseph tells his brothers, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive as they are today.”

Scripture is clear that God is sovereign over all things, yet He clearly allows evil things to happen even to people who love Him dearly. And since our days were written “when as yet there was none of them” (Ps. 139:16), God planned from the beginning exactly how He was going to use sin and suffering for His own good purposes in our lives.

In my imagination, I picture God writing out the book of our lives and asking Satan, “OK, what would you like to happen to this person? … Ah ha, I’ll permit that and then flip it upside down so that they and their family members come to rely on Me!” No matter what Satan comes up with, God holds the winning card.

Although we don’t know who wrote Psalm 71, it could certainly be a reflection of David’s life. As a young man he was ignored or condemned by his brothers. He was chosen by God to become the king, but spent years on the run from King Saul. He lived in an era when war was an annual event, with some wins and some losses. He made some bad decisions that included getting Bathsheba pregnant and then conspiring to murder her husband. His own son plotted against him to steal the kingdom away. And yet in all this he kept turning to God in faith over and over again. David faced many troubles and calamities, but God was never far away.

Charles Spurgeon wrote about this psalm, “Here is faith’s inference from the infinite greatness of the Lord. He has been strong to smite; he will be also strong to save. He has shown me many heavy and severe trials, and he will also show me many and precious mercies.” Spurgeon wasn’t referring to merely theoretical trials. He had plenty of controversy to deal with in his ministry, as well as physical and emotional struggles. By faith he trusted that God’s good purposes would prevail.

I don’t know what God is planning to do through the things that hurt me or those I love. I may never know in this lifetime. I hope that my faith is growing stronger along the way, and that there are fewer valleys of doubt. I have not arrived on the mountaintop nor can I see it ahead. But I can say with certainty that I would not be where I am if it were not for God’s “many and precious mercies” reviving me and bearing me up along the way. I believe that we can hold onto Jesus’ promise to His disciples:

“Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy… So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” (John 16:20, 22).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Photo from one of my many hikes on the Rough Ridge trail near Blowing Rock, NC. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Blessed

The following is something I wrote for my denomination’s women’s ministry email for May.

Have you ever scrolled through social media and seen comments like:

Got engaged today! #Blessed
New grandchild! #Blessed
Just missed being in a car accident! #Blessed
Test results clear! #Blessed

I often think to myself, what if the circumstances were different? Are we only blessed when things are going well? In our culture there is a clear assumption that the beatitudes should say things like:

Blessed are the rich, for they can buy whatever they want.
Blessed are the powerful, for they can control the people around them.
Blessed are the healthy, for they need no one to help them.
Blessed are those in favorable circumstances, for they shall have no worries.

But that’s certainly not what Jesus said in Matthew 5. He proclaimed blessings on the poor in spirit, mourners, meek, hungry for righteousness, merciful, pure in heart, peacemakers, and even the persecuted—in short, all the people our culture tends to look down on and try to avoid. Sure, it’s nice to enjoy good circumstances, but that’s not usually the things that grow our faith.

I love the Apostle Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV), “But [the Lord] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” And James reminds us, “Count it all joy, my brothers [and sisters], when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (1:2-4). Times of trial and hardship can result in the blessing of spiritual growth.

I was reading in Deuteronomy of the blessings of obedience and the curses of disobedience proclaimed to the nation of Israel as they entered the Promised Land. That might sound very legalistic unless you remember the new covenant in Jesus’ blood. He bore our curses so that we may be eternally blessed (Gal. 3:13-14). We have the blessing of forgiveness now and life in His kingdom forever.

This life is often painful, and happiness may be hard to find at times, but for the Christian there is never a time when we are not blessed. I can testify that my faith is much stronger today because of times of difficulty, loneliness, and depression. When people have failed to take good care of me, I am blessed to know that Jesus is always there for me. When sorrows have felt overwhelming, I am blessed to remember that God comforts the brokenhearted. When life is painful, I am blessed because I’m sure this is not the end of the story. No matter what my circumstances, I know that I am blessed because I am a child of the one true King, and He will never let me go.

“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Ps. 30:5b), and one day “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 21:4).

#SoBlessed!

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Faith and Fear

There is a Christian tradition that talks about the train of “Fact – Faith – Feelings,” where facts are the engine and feelings are the caboose. But this is confusing at best, and potentially misleading. (See https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/fact-faith-feeling.) I’m toying with the idea of it being like a Venn diagram where our goal is to live in the center where all three meet and inform and confirm one another, rather than taking any of them on their own. (I haven’t thought through all the implications of that approach, though I’m sure it’s not perfect.)

Some Christians teach or imply that if you have enough faith, you will never wrestle with fear or anxiety. However, this does not seem to be the teaching of Scripture. Psalm 56:3 says, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.” In his Daily Treasury from the Psalms, Charles Spurgeon wrote about this verse:

“David was no braggart—he does not claim never to be afraid, and he was no brutish stoic free from fear… He feared, but that fear did not fill the whole area of his mind, for he adds, ‘I will trust in thee.’ It is possible, then, for fear and faith to occupy the mind at the same moment… It is a blessed fear that drives us to trust. Unregenerate fear drives from God; gracious fear drives to him.”

In a similar vein, Brennan Manning wrote:

“We often presume that trust will dispel the confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case. Our trust does not bring final clarity on this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, as Jesus did on the cross, ‘Into your hands I commit my spirit’ (Luke 23:46)” (Ruthless Trust, 6).

Faith doesn’t preclude fear, but it should inform what we do with our fears. It’s easy to get lost in our feelings and forget the truths of Scripture and the promises of God. We may believe that God is present with us and is sovereign over the world, and yet still struggle to know how to trust Him in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Multiple times recently I have heard people say that in Scripture, “Do not fear” is not a command to obey but an invitation to remember God’s presence and care. He invites us to come to Him with all our fears, and to walk alongside the One whose “yoke is easy and [His] burden is light” (Matt. 11:30), rather than trying to carry our burdens alone.

I believe we can learn to turn to God with our fears, though I admit I’m not very good at that. My brain gets stuck in a vicious cycle of anxious thoughts because I want to control the outcome of some situation. I have to remind myself frequently that I am neither omnipotent nor omniscient, but I can trust the One who is. Spurgeon noted on Psalm 55, “We can have no better ground of confidence. The Lord is all, and more than all, that faith can need as the foundation of peaceful dependence. Lord, increase our faith evermore.”

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved” (Ps. 55:22).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Image edited from pixabay.com original. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Power of Place

The Power of Place, by Daniel Grothe, is a book I wish had been around 50 years ago. Perhaps it could have reduced some of the unnecessary mobility of our culture. Here are just a few quotes:

“Published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the findings suggest that ‘moving is associated with lower levels of overall wellbeing, higher stress levels, and fewer positive social relationships. Frequent moves have a particularly detrimental effect for adolescents, who’ve been shown to have lower test scores and graduation rates, fewer friends, and higher drug and alcohol use’… APA researchers discovered that ‘frequent relocations in childhood are related to poorer well-being in adulthood,’ because the participants in the study were found to have ‘fewer quality social relationships as adults’” (ch. 2).

“‘Stay put,’ Benedict said. But sadly, too many have read this as a prohibition—‘Thou shalt not leave!’—when they should have read it as a protection… There is a sort of calculus at play here that only makes sense in the kingdom of God: those who are willing to lose the freedom of a thousand different options will find they have everything they need right in front of them” (ch. 2).

“Maybe one of the least glamorous things you can do with your life is to stay in the same place with the same group of people—friends, a spouse, a handful of extended family, a local church community—for a really long time until you die. And while it is unglamorous, it may well be the most powerful this you can do” (ch. 5).

“Worship, which was always a communal act in ancient Israel’s history, has now been privatized and commoditized. We have our podcasts and YouTube channels. We have our favorite internet pastors… Indeed, we have discovered we can get our sermons and songs without having to trifle with other saints and sinners… But we must be careful not to let our technology outpace our theology. There is a sad irony: God who in Jesus became incarnate now has a people being tempted to live lives of disincarnation” (ch. 11).

As one who experienced a lot of uprooting as a child—7 changes of schools in 9 years—I can testify that it was not only not ideal, but even traumatic. Although there were some things I liked about each place we lived, I always longed for stability of place and of friendships. That contributed significantly to the fact that I have now been in the same house, same church, and same employer (though different roles) for the past 28 years.  There is much to be said for having a consistent community of support for the long haul. There have been times of conflict in community, but relationships are strengthened when people learn to work out their differences.

Loving one another is not meant to be limited to the nuclear family, nor to a short-term acquaintance. We are made to be in relationship for the long term—indeed, for eternity within the Body of Christ. I think some people imagine eternity as sitting alone with Jesus watching the sunset. I’ve only recently come to realize that one of the best things we’ll get to experience is being fully known and fully loved, not only by God but by one another (1 Cor. 13:12). After an earthly lifetime of relational disruptions, disconnections, and discontentment, it will be wonderful to simply enjoy being together without distrust or fear of loss. Imagine the depth of relationships available where there are no time constraints!

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Gal. 5:13-14).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Cover image courtesy of Amazon.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Any-What?

In recent years the Enneagram has become a popular tool for understanding personality differences. The name comes from the geometric figure created by the nine personality types. The origins of the system are debated, but there is some indication that parts of it go back several centuries, perhaps even to the original “seven deadly sins.” Some Christians label the Enneagram as dangerous or demonic, but that is a stretch. There are a number of Christian organizations that use the Enneagram in counseling, coaching, and teaching. However, it has also been labeled a pseudoscience because it is so subjective. My efforts here are simply to share a few observations from things I’ve read and heard from such sources.

No tool is infallible. Every personality test, spiritual gifts inventory, and aptitude test is a creation of man and therefore limited in understanding. Whether you’re using the Enneagram, Myers-Briggs, or DISC, you may find some useful information, but it’s going to miss a lot because each of us is unique. And even though it may tell you how you tend to respond to various scenarios, it probably won’t tell you why that’s the case.

It can be easy to delve so deep into understanding the tool that you don’t actually benefit from it, and you may end up wasting a lot of time that could be better spent in the spiritual disciplines. With the Enneagram in particular, there are types, subtypes, wings, and arrows that all have different meanings and implications for individuals. Some podcasters can sound quite dogmatic in describing these, as if it is a mathematical certainty that A+B+C=D for every person. All that should be taken with a grain of salt. It would be more accurate to say that every person has a bit of all nine Enneagram types, though one or two will be dominant. From those generalities, you can make some personal applications.

Personality profiles should not be used as an excuse for bad behavior or to put anyone in a box. “I’m a 5 and ISTJ, so that’s just the way I am.” At times that may be equivalent to saying, “I’m just a sinner, so leave me alone!” Your personality type does not define you, nor does it keep you from growing and changing. Knowing about your personality traits can be helpful if it shows you areas where you may need help, humility, and perhaps even repentance. It can alert you to times when you are reacting to particular situations out of anger, anxiety, or shame, rather than fully trusting God and loving others. When you are aware of your tendencies toward sin or unhealthy reactions, you can take those issues to Scripture, to God, and to other Christians who can help you learn better ways of coping with stress and temptation.

In addition, these tools can also help groups relate better to one another. We all tend to make assumptions about how others will react to a situation, and we may even try to assign motives to them. But if we remember that John is an external processor and Sue is an internal processor, we’re more likely to give them some grace when they don’t immediately agree on a plan. Or if we know Tim hates conflict and Sally needs affirmation that she’s doing a good job, we’ll try harder to encourage them as best we can.

Everyone wants to feel that they are known and loved for who they are, not shamed into trying to be something different. We also want to feel we are not alone. I was particularly encouraged by a podcast discussion between a few Enneagram 5s as they voiced things I have often thought but never dared say aloud. As C.S. Lewis put it, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” Opening doors to deeper discussions is often a necessity in Christian community. It’s all too easy to keep one another at a distance out of fear or laziness.

God knows our hearts far better than we do, and He’s always working to conform us to the image of Christ. Personality tests may be one tool, among many others, that can point us in that direction, assuming they are used wisely and in submission to Scripture. They certainly cannot replace sound biblical teaching and counsel within the Body of Christ as God intended.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1 Thess. 5:11).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Behold the Lamb

Those of us in the Christian church probably don’t give as much attention to Passover as we ought. Have you ever imagined what that night was like? God commanded that each household paint the blood of a lamb on the doorposts of the house to mark it as a home of faithful Jews. They were then to eat the lamb that night, but this was no leisurely meal.

“In this manner you shall eat it: with your belt fastened, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand. And you shall eat it in haste. It is the Lord’s Passover. For I will pass through the land of Egypt that night, and I will strike all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and on all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgments: I am the Lord. The blood shall be a sign for you, on the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and no plague will befall you to destroy you, when I strike the land of Egypt” (Ex. 12:11-13).

They were to eat it while ready to leave at a moment’s notice. They may not have had much appetite for the meal before them. Perhaps they heard a rushing wind as the destroyer came through. The Jews may have had Egyptian neighbors whose firstborn sons were dying. They may have heard the wailing increasing through the land. They probably didn’t sleep much as they wondered what the coming day would bring.

Fast forward more than a millennium, and now the disciples are celebrating Passover with Jesus, not realizing this was what would come to be known as the Last Supper. This time the meal appears to be pretty laid back. Jesus makes some odd comments about betrayal and denial and death, but the disciples don’t get it. When they go out to the Garden to pray, the disciples are relaxed enough to fall asleep. But then, quite literally, all hell breaks loose and the disciples run away to save their own skins.

Back in Egypt, God had said that the blood of a lamb was necessary to protect His people from physical death. Now at Gethsemane the Lamb of God sheds His blood to redeem His people from spiritual death. The road to the original Promised Land began with the shedding of the blood of lambs. The road to our eternal Promised Land began with the shedding of Jesus’ blood.

The first Passover was a dark night that resulted in the miraculous release of the Jews from slavery. Holy Saturday was a dark day for the disciples as they wondered what had gone wrong and what would come next. But Easter Sunday turned their sorrow and fear into rejoicing, and within just a few weeks they were proclaiming salvation through the risen Lord Jesus Christ to anyone who would believe.

We still experience some dark times in life. We still have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. But now we have the assurance that there is a glorious resurrection day coming for all who follow Christ. Because Jesus is “the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world” (Jn. 1: 29), we have the assurance that “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1). Because Jesus is our Good Shepherd who laid down His life for His sheep (Jn. 10:11), we need not fear evil and we can trust that “goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Ps. 23:6).

Thank You, Father, for providing the Lamb!

“Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let Your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Ps. 16:9-11).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Groaning Together

A recent podcast from CCEF talked about dealing with discouragement. I appreciated it in part because they never said “Discouragement is unbiblical, so just get over it!” Instead, they spoke about it as a normal part of the Christian life in a broken world. In particular, I was encouraged by the observation that was made by Gunner Gundersen:

“I love how in Romans 8 you have the creation that is groaning in verse 22, and then in verse 23 you have, ‘we who have the first fruits of the Spirit are groaning inwardly’ for our final redemption. And then near the end, this is what’s shocking to me in verse 26, ‘the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.’ And that shared groaning, as the Spirit is interceding for us and pleading for all things to be made new finally, including us.”

In other words, groaning is normal and can even be a spiritual exercise. Now not every groan is good. Sometimes our groaning turns into grumbling. And just groaning to ourselves or to others may not necessarily be helpful. But if our groans turn us to God and His Word, then there is profit there. The things in this world that cause us to groan can be reminders to us that this world is not how it was intended to be, and one day the world and the children of God will be made new again.

The ESV Bible uses variations of the word groaning 40 times. The first appears in Exodus 2:23-24:

“During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.”

God had never forgotten the people of Israel. Verse 25 says, “God saw the people of Israel—and God knew.” He knew exactly what was happening to them, but He also knew what He was about to do to reveal His power to the world and to send them on their way to the Promised Land. God has not forgotten us either. He hears each groan and collects each tear that falls. The Holy Spirit groans along with us as He intercedes for our endurance, encouragement, and eventual deliverance from the brokenness of this world.

As we groan, we don’t know what God may be planning to do in the near future. There may be some display of His power in delivering the persecuted, or freeing those bound in sin. There could be evidence of His healing the sick in miraculous ways. Or it may be in the less visible—but no less important—sustaining power in the lives of those who are weak and weary.

I’m reminded of Joni Eareckson Tada and the decades that she has spent in a wheelchair. She has undoubtedly uttered many groans, but God continues to use her testimony to encourage people around the world. I think of many other people who may not be world famous, but they are known by their communities as those who are continuing to endure the thorns and thistles of this life even as they long for God to bring the final victory over sin, suffering, sorrow, and the grave.

I too groan and wonder what God is waiting for, but I take heart in knowing that I’m not alone. Not only are there many people in the same boat, but the Holy Spirit comes alongside us, Jesus Christ experienced the same weaknesses and suffered even to the point of death on a cross, and God the Father hears each cry and already has plans for redeeming the suffering of His saints. With the Holy Trinity on our side, we can endure a while longer, knowing that there is mercy and grace to help us in our time of need (Heb. 4:16).

“Give ear to my words, O Lord; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray... But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread Your protection over them, that those who love Your name may exult in You” (Psalm 5:1-2, 11).

***

See also these songs of lament:

How Long, O Lord? by Jordan Kauflin

How Long, O Lord, How Long? by Sovereign Grace Music

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Just a Little Faith

The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you” (Luke 17:5-6, similar to a statement Jesus made about mountains in Matt. 17:20).

If you’re like me, you may be thinking “I guess I need more faith, because I haven’t moved any trees or mountains.” As I was dwelling on this lately, a few pieces came together for me. The first is that faith itself is a gift. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one my boast” (Eph. 2:8-9). We didn’t drum up the faith that saved us. God alone gets the glory for that.

In addition, God already moved the biggest mountain—our need for salvation. Our sin against the Holy God separated us from Him and led to our condemnation, but Jesus came to die on our behalf and bring us back into relationship with God. Since God has already done that, there is no mountain we need to move. He gives us the faith to believe in Him for what He has accomplished for us.

It has often been said that it’s not the size of your faith, but where your faith is placed that matters. Charles Spurgeon wrote, “Our life is found in ‘looking unto Jesus’ (Heb. 12:2), not in looking to our own faith. By faith all things become possible to us, yet the power is not in the faith but in the God in whom faith relies.” We may be tempted to place our faith in the exercise of faith rather than placing our faith in God. That may in fact be our motivation behind desiring more faith. If my faith were strong enough and visible enough, then I’d never be shaken by the uncertainties of life, right? And yet it is the testing of our faith that develops endurance. Some people may have unshakeable faith in their own egos.

A confused idea of faith can also lead us to pass judgment on those who don’t measure up to our standards. Do we think we know who has “real” saving faith? So did the Pharisees. God alone knows the heart. This article from TGC urges pastors at funerals, “Avoid casually declaring someone’s eternal destiny” (Matt. 7:21-23).” Not everyone who does great works actually has faith in God, and not everyone who appears to be irretrievably fallen is necessarily faithless.

When Paul and Silas were asked what salvation required, they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31). They didn’t say, “Believe this specific set of doctrines, work hard to get rid of all visible sin, and look like one of us, and then you will be saved.” The thief on the cross only knew enough to plead “Remember me!” and Jesus assured him of salvation (Luke 23:43).

Paul said of himself, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost” (1 Tim. 1:15). That’s present tense, not past tense—not “I was the foremost.” And John reminded us, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). So how can we set a high bar for others without condemning ourselves too? God’s grace and mercy often far exceed our own, and church culture can be intimidating for those who are different from the “norm.”

There are many factors that influence someone’s ability to look like a faithful Christian. We may be confused about doctrines. We may still fall into sin in embarrassing ways. We may struggle to manage the basic tasks of life in this world, much less engage in spiritual disciplines. But that doesn’t necessarily mean we aren’t saved. Given the number of high-profile Christian leaders who have fallen into disgrace in recent years, I don’t think most of us are very good judges of the heart of man, because we simply don’t know what’s going on beneath the surface.

Thankfully, “the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7b). Our faith may be small, but if God gave it to us then it’s all we need!

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

I Surrender

I am currently reading John Ortberg’s new book Steps: A Guide to Transforming Your Life When Willpower Isn’t Enough. It is largely based on the 12 steps commonly associated with Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery groups. As has often been noted, there tends to be more honesty and acceptance among the AA members that meet in the church basement than there is in the congregation that meets upstairs in the sanctuary. The church could learn from their example.

In Christian traditions we often think of surrender as something we do when we first come to salvation, and we forget that it is a daily choice to surrender to God. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me” (Luke 9:23).

Martin Luther wrote that “the entire life of believers should be repentance,” not just repenting of known sins, but of constantly turning away from our self-sufficiency and trusting in Christ’s strength, grace, and mercy for all aspects of life. We are far more needy than we are often willing to admit. It is pride, and its flip side of shame, that keeps us from being honest about our many weaknesses. We think we need to be stronger than we are, so we put on our best mask before we leave the house. We keep trying to push through instead of surrendering to the fact that we can’t do anything apart from Christ. Ortberg comments:

“For most of my life I believed, without ever reflecting on it much, that I could mostly do what needs to be done... And I’ve come to realize I can’t... I can’t heal those closest to me. I can’t fix my heart. I can’t control how people think of me. I can’t make my fear go away. I can’t make my sadness go away. I can’t fix my shame or my envy or my anger. I can’t stop my awful dread of what might happen in the future... I don’t mean that I used to not be able to do those things, but now I’m strong and all is okay, and I will share with you the secret of how I did it. I mean that I cannot do it. Now. I live in that pain from one day to the next. I will never know a daily peace in my life apart from the pain that is a daily piece of my life” (“Step 1A”).

The long version of the Serenity Prayer says:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace,
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it,
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will—
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.

I don’t think most of us want to accept that hardships are the pathway to peace. But it is through hardship that we realize how dependent we are on God. We’d rather pursue fleeting happiness in this life by relying on our own ingenuity or looking for ways to numb the pain. Self-reliance cannot bring true peace because we’ll constantly be wondering whether we have the resources to make it through the next hardship. Ortberg says.

“I am prone to believe that my superior ability to think things through can handle any problem. But a common line at AA meetings is ‘Remember, your best thinking got you here’” (“Step 1C”).

I’m coming to realize (at least sometimes) how little is actually under my control. That can create anxiety, but it can also spur me to pray “OK, God, I know I can’t change this, so help me to trust that You actually are the One in control.” In my prayer journal, there is a recurring refrain of “help me remember” and “help me to trust.”

Jesus said it clearly, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Not just “apart from Me you can only do so much,” but “you can do nothing!” Maybe over time we’ll remember to start each day by surrendering our lofty, self-sufficient dreams for life and determine to walk with Jesus in the good works that He has already prepared for us (Eph. 2:10), honestly embracing our weaknesses and limitations for the glory of God.

***

See also “Luther’s First Thesis and Last Words.”

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Not Mr. Fix-It

A friend recommended that I read the book When God Doesn’t Fix It, by Laura Story. Although I was very familiar with her song “Blessings” and others, I didn’t know anything about her background. I won’t go into details here because I’d rather recommend that you read her book. She is certainly qualified to respond to the question “What do you do when God doesn’t fix the overwhelming circumstances of life?” Sometimes living is a daily chore, and walking by faith is more like crawling in the dark. But God is there with us too. The following are just a few of the highlights I made in the book:

“[While] we’re focused on the unhealed sickness, hurt, and pain in our lives, God is focused on a bigger picture. Something else is broken, and it has eternal consequences if it doesn’t get fixed” (ch 3).

“We ask God why, believing the answer will provide us with some kind of deep soul satisfaction. But too often, we don’t get the answer we want. I don’t think that means we should give up asking questions; we just need to understand their role in our brokenness. Questions can be a great help in mourning our loss, communicating our frustration, and expressing our feelings. We belong to an almighty, transcendent, yet approachable God who loves hearing our questions. Our questions are important to him, and the Scriptures are full of hurting people asking questions” (ch 10).

“The answer to why doesn’t help us heal. But knowing that God’s glory can be displayed, even in the brokenness of our lives, gives us hope despite our circumstances. I promise you will find more purpose and joy in your life if you set aside the why and begin to ask how. How does my story fit into God’s greater story of redemption? ...
How might God use your current trial to glorify himself?
How might God use your weakness, infirmity, or disability to display his power?
How might God use your hard circumstances to show you something about yourself?
How might God use your pain for a purpose? How might God make this mess into a message?
How might God use your current chaos to make you into a man or woman who walks by faith, not by sight?
How might God use your situation to show you that true peace is found only in him?” (ch 10).

“God is the hero of the broken story. That’s why he wants you to share your highs and lows too—it’s a part of his story, and it can be used to bring others closer to him” (ch 14).

“What if telling your story at church would not only be a blessing in disguise for you, but a lifeline to someone who needed to hear God’s hope and truth? What if sharing your trials through a blog post of a Facebook status encourages others who are going through their own trials? What if seeing how you’ve turned to God helps someone else know him?” (ch 17).

“Joy doesn’t come from our circumstances; it comes from our God. And since God is with us during our trials, it is possible to have joy even in our trials” (ch 19).

God may not fix things to our preferred standards, but His construction plans are much more detailed than our own and will one day be completed and perfect.

“For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with human hands, eternal in the heavens” (2 Cor. 5:1).

***

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Cover photo courtesy of Amazon.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Rooted

The world says fly, be free,

  throw off all constraints.

    There are no rules, no laws,

      do what you please.

But when trouble comes

  we want roots, connections,

    something to keep us grounded

      to hold us together.

We can’t have both, or can we?

  Trees don’t fly, birds don’t

    grow flowers, but the

      Heavenly Father cares for both.

Rooted in His love we can

  soar to new heights.

    Under His wings we find

      shelter in the storm

Connected to His Body there is

  belonging, the community

    of the diverse, where each

      can be uniquely whole.

It is not conformity

  that binds us together,

    not law that controls

      or constrains us.

It is the grace and mercy

  of the One who loved us and

    thus made us lovable

      and taught us to love.

Rooted in Him we are

  eternally secure, able

    to fly where He leads

      just as He planned all along.

Psalm 1:3:

“He is like a tree

planted by streams of water

that yields its fruit in its season,

and its leaf does not wither.

In all that he does, he prospers.”

(Sparked by Malcolm Guite’s article in Christianity Today “Something Holy Shines”)

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Getting in Shape

I was feeling inadequate, unable to live up to the expectations of others, wondering if God too might be expecting more than I feel willing or able to do. I found myself drawn to Psalm 139 and the reminders that “You knitted me together in my mother’s womb” (v. 13) and “My frame was not hidden from You, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth” (15). In between is the reassurance, “Wonderful are Your works!” (14). What God has made is well thought out and right for His purposes.

As I moved on to verse 16, I discovered something I hadn’t seen before. The ESV states, “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Other translations add some flavor: “all the days ordained for me were written in Your book” (NIV), “And in Your book they were all written, the days fashioned for me” (NKJV), or “even the days that were fashioned” (JPS). Do you see what I see? The days that were formed or fashioned for me were created with just as much careful deliberation by God as the way He formed me in the womb. Biblehub notes, “The Hebrew verb ‘yatsar’ primarily means to form or fashion, often used in the context of creating or shaping something with intention and purpose. It conveys the idea of a potter shaping clay, highlighting the skill and care involved in the creative process.” It’s the same word used in Isaiah 43:1, “But now thus says the Lord, He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel...”

God forms us for our day, and He forms our days for us. Therefore we can be assured that they fit us. Sure, there are added challenges of living in a world marred by sin, but God’s purposes still prevail. Job proclaimed, “I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted” (Job 42:2). David said, “I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me” (Ps. 57:2).

There can be a tendency, even within the church, to think that we’re all supposed to fit some stereotype of gifts, abilities, relationships, and appearance. But “If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?” (1 Cor. 12:17). We aren’t all expected to do the same things in the same way, because God uniquely fashioned each of us on purpose and for His purposes. My life doesn’t have to look like someone else’s, and my ministry within the Body of Christ doesn’t have to fit someone else’s mold. It just needs to be what God has designed for me.

“But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, ‘Why have you made me like this?’” (Rom. 9:20). Some vessels are more eye-catching than others, but all are necessary. Sometimes I wonder why God made me as He did, but Scripture reminds me that His purposes are always good and I can rest in the mold He has formed for my days.

“But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our potter; we are all the work of Your hand” (Isaiah 6748).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Bring It All

I believe a lot of Christians approach faith as an intellectual exercise. This may be particularly true of those in Reformed traditions where having correct theology and being able to defend our beliefs has been elevated to the capstone of life. Seminaries often feed into this perception and can lead pastors to intellectualize their preaching and teaching. Certainly we want pastors who can study and faithfully interpret Scripture, but correct theology is not necessarily life-transforming.

I know I have fallen into this trap quite often. Some of us have personality traits and family origins that are more prone to this. I value and pursue knowledge of many different subjects, Scripture included. At the same time, a lot of the Christian authors I’ve read have implied that emotions are meant to be ignored. “Just preach the truth to yourself and your emotions will fall into line.” There may be a kernel of truth to that, but I’ve rarely found it to be that clear cut. Part of the difficulty comes from not knowing what I’m feeling or why I feel that way to begin with. It’s hard to come up with relevant biblical truth if I don’t know what wounds or misconceptions need to be addressed. I’ve slowly learned that simply trying to suppress the troubling thoughts or feelings doesn’t really solve anything. They still live to fight another day. “Denying yourself” doesn’t mean ignoring what’s going on inside.

Jesus invited us, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). But if we are trying to deny our burdens, we may not even realize that we are in need of rest. It was prophesied that Jesus would be “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief… Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (Is. 53:3-4). He never said “What you are feeling is irrelevant, just trust Me,” but He did remind the disciples that suffering would not last forever.

Even the great apostle Paul wrote at different times, “I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart” (Rom. 9:1), and “we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself” (2 Cor. 1:8). He didn’t downplay his difficulties, and he didn’t ask the churches to pray that he wouldn’t feel this way. He was able to say instead, “we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Rom. 5:3-5). He acknowledged the pain while still clinging to God in faith.

How then does this impact our approach to faith? First, we need to remember that we can bring our true selves to God. He doesn’t expect us to sanitize our thoughts and come with heads held high and smiles on our faces. He knows where we struggle even better than we know ourselves. We can drag our broken bodies and wounded hearts to Him at any and all times.

Second and very practically, rather than pursuing prayer and Bible reading as an academic exercise, sometimes (or perhaps often) we can take time to examine our hearts and see what things are currently causing anxiety, sorrow, anger, and uncertainty. Then we can go to God with whatever our greatest concerns are right now. I think we often miss out on experiencing God’s love and grace because we don’t actually take all our burdens to Him.

The practice of self-examination goes back many centuries, and is not some kind of new age mysticism. Scripture tells us to examine ourselves preceding communion (1 Cor. 11:28), but it’s certainly not limited to that time or to issues of sin. Jesus said, “But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life” (Luke 21:34a emphasis added). This kind of self-awareness is not selfish, but living humbly and authentically before our Lord and Savior. Since Jesus welcomed the little children with their unhindered and vibrant emotions (Matt. 19:14), how could He not embrace all of us the same way?

“All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and whoever comes to Me I will never cast out” (John 6:37).

“If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink” (John 7:37).

(These thoughts have been greatly influenced by things I’ve heard and read recently from Steve Cuss, Alasdair Groves, and Chuck DeGroat.)

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Who Is Sufficient?

Recently I was listening to a podcast, which shall remain nameless, on the subject of counseling and mental disorders. They pretty much denigrated psychology and psychotherapy and repeatedly said, “Scripture is sufficient.” Many people in the realm of “biblical counseling” grab onto the idea of the sufficiency of Scripture in a way that was not intended by the authors of most creeds. The Westminster Shorter Catechism states, “The Scriptures principally teach, what man is to believe concerning God, and what duty God requires of man.” Carl Trueman comments:

“In other words, the Scriptures are sufficient for a specific task: they reveal who God is, who man is in relation to him, and how that relationship is to be articulated in terms of worship. Even with this definition, however, we need to be precise concerning the nature of this sufficiency. In some areas, the Scriptures are sufficient for teaching principles but not for providing specific details.”

Don’t get me wrong, I believe there is a lot in Scripture that is helpful and encouraging for those suffering with depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses. We should certainly do things like encourage our brothers and sisters in the faith, pray for one another, confess our sins, care for those in need, and so on, just as Scripture says. But Scripture doesn’t have a clear answer for things like:

• Should I take psychiatric medications?
• Should I allow my child to be admitted to the psych ward?
• Who can best help me to work through childhood trauma?

While I believe that the local church should be a place where all the biblical “one another” commands are practiced, I don’t believe that most churches or pastors are equipped to provide in-depth mental health counseling. The average church is 70 people, and there are limits to both our time and our training. Mental illness encapsulates a wide variety of experiences and needs that can escalate very quickly beyond the abilities of a church pastor.

We also need to remember that the Body of Christ is much larger than our local congregation. There are many well-qualified Christian counselors working in public and private counseling agencies for either in-person or online options. The ones I’ve worked with have known Scripture well and they aren’t afraid to include it when appropriate, but they also know what questions to ask and what advice to give for specific struggles. They go far beyond “Here’s a verse and a prayer.” I would say that Christians should always seek counselors who are also Christian because our worldview is important to us. But they don’t have to be members of the same church or denomination.

For those in church leadership, I make the following suggestions:

1) Learn the difference between “biblical counseling” and “Christian counseling”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBmyDw7BGfs

2) Know when to refer to counseling professionals, who is available in your area, and what affiliations they may have with credentialing organizations.

3) If there are diagnosable psychiatric conditions as determined by medical professionals, it’s probably best to refer to outside counselors. Although the DSM is not infallible or exhaustive, it does include a lot of very serious information about potential problems.

From my own experience, I can say that finding a counselor you feel comfortable with is one of the biggest factors contributing to health and growth. I’ve met a couple counselors who seemed to have their own agendas and didn’t really listen to me. I quickly stopped going to them, and it took me a long time to risk reaching out to someone new. But I’ve had others (one past and one present) that I’ve enjoyed meeting with regularly, and I’m grateful to count them as brothers in Christ. I thoroughly believe that God has gifted them with the wisdom, training, and interpersonal skills needed to minister to people through ongoing counseling. That is not a skill set that all pastors have, and I suspect that if pastors do have counseling gifts they will probably not be satisfied to be preparing sermons instead.

“For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them…” (Rom. 12:4-6).

“Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life” (2 Cor. 3:5-6).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Says Who?

Lately I’ve been delving into one of my side interests—psychology. (When I was finishing college and trying to decide what to do next, I was accepted for the Masters in Counseling program at Denver Seminary before I decided to go to Wheaton instead. God had different plans for me.) I’ve been watching a number of videos from Steve Cuss on CapableLife.com, including some about our inner critics. I don’t know about you, but I have a loud inner critic. He tells me often that I’m not good enough, not smart enough, and that I better keep my mouth shut so other people don’t find out I’m an imposter and I don’t belong here. (Even now I’m arguing with the voice that’s telling me “Real writers don’t wait a month between blog posts!”)

Steve wisely points out that we need to compare the voice of our inner critic with the truth of God’s Word in order to ignore the lies. Mark Batterson puts it well in A Million Little Miracles:

Shame says, “I am a mistake.”
God says, “You are My workmanship.”
Shame says, “I am unworthy.”
God says “You are worth the cross.”
Shame says, “I am not enough.”
God says, “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”
Shame says, “I am an accident.”
God says, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Shame says, “I am unlovable.”
God says, “You are My beloved.”
Shame says, “I am insignificant.”
God says, “You are the apple of My eye.” (184)

The inner critic, judge, shame—whatever name you want to call the enemy of our soul—tries to convince us that God wants nothing to do with us unless we can achieve perfection on our own, which is a futile effort. Paul reminds us in Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” We don’t make ourselves acceptable. God first chose us, loved us, redeemed us, and adopted us into His family, all long before we even thought of how we might perform to try to win His approval.

I should note as well that God’s opinion of us should matter far more than the opinions of man, but we can often be sidelined by the fear of what others think. We all want to be loved and accepted, but every one of us has different standards, so pleasing everyone is doomed from the start. But our Creator gives us far more grace than we can even begin to imagine.

Steve Cuss asks a question that I’ve been thinking about a lot. “What if I were at least as ___ to myself as God is?” What would be different if I were as gracious, loving, and forgiving of myself as God is? I have no doubt the result would be less anxiety and more joy. I may not get there very quickly, and my inner critic is not likely to quit work, but he doesn’t have to have the final word.

“By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before Him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything” (1 John 3:19-20).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.