Draw Near

Recently I happened to search my Bible app for the phrase “draw near” when I was trying to remember a particular verse. I was surprised to see how many times it shows up in the book of Hebrews:

“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (4:16).

“…a better hope is introduced, through which we draw near to God… Consequently, He is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them” (7:19, 25).

“For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities, it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near” (10:1).

“Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water” (10:22).

“And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him” (11:6).

The author of Hebrews makes it clear that we can approach God with confidence because of what Jesus did for us—paying the penalty of our sin and covering us with His righteousness. We have assurance that we are children of God with full access to our heavenly Father.

It occurred to me that I tend to avoid drawing near to people because I am not confident of their love for me and I wonder whether I am even wanted. But for the most part I don’t have that hesitation about drawing near to God both in joy and in pain. That has not always been the case. Before I had a good grasp of God’s grace, mercy, and love, I thought He was surely disappointed with me most of the time. Thankfully, I’ve realized that isn’t the case. I’m glad to know I can draw near to Him at any time.

In theory, if I’m secure in God’s love, I should be more secure in love for people as well. Someone has used the analogy of spokes on a wheel, with God at the center. As people draw nearer to God, they also draw closer to all the other spokes. While I believe that is the ideal, there often seems to be a kind of disconnect in the church at large. Western individualism has made faith into a “Jesus and me” proposition rather than members of one united body.

Whether we’re spokes on a wheel, branches on a vine, members of a body, living stones in the temple of God, or the family of God, we are meant to be confident in God’s love for us and our love for others. Let us draw nearer to God and to one another with each passing day.

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you” (James 4:8a). “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing well” (James 2:8).

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© 2024 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Reflections on a Year

As we all come to the end of another calendar year, and I celebrate the anniversary of my birth, I was thinking about some of the lessons I’ve been learning (or relearning) in the past year. In no particular order:

• Just because someone endeavors to take care of their body doesn’t mean they won’t face physical challenges and decline over time. Exercise and diet are important for stewarding our bodies, but life in a fallen world with broken bodies leads to the need for doctors. But one day we’ll receive new bodies suited to life in the perfect new creation.
  
  
• Even though someone may be labeled as an extrovert doesn’t mean they are good at building relationships. And even though I’m an introvert doesn’t mean I have an excuse for avoiding people. All good relationships require time and effort, regardless of whether we go to church together, work together, or live together. One day we’ll live in the new kingdom in perfect harmony, but for now we all have to deal with difficult or broken relationships. Sometimes we have to let go of our expectations of other people.
  
  
• God has created each of us as unique human individuals. As an old book by Barbara Johnson noted, “Normal is just a setting on your dryer.” Some of the standards that are thought to represent the “proper Christian life,” are actually just cultural stereotypes that have no basis in Scripture. When we are prone to judge others for their appearance, habits, or interests, we need to go first to the Bible as our guide for right, wrong, or somewhere in between.
  
  
• Just because someone goes to church sometimes and may profess faith in Christ doesn’t mean they are living under the lordship of Jesus Christ. Some may go to church every week for decades and yet choose to ignore most of the commands of Scripture. Living in a “churchy” culture allows many to slip through with a Christian façade. There is coming a day when all will be called to account.
  
  
• There are no “one and done” aspects to the Christian life. Faith, sanctification, endurance, repenting from sin, forgiving others, peace, joy, hope—all require turning to God every day. And we all need regular encouragement and exhortation to keep walking on the narrow way of salvation.

As we launch into a new year, let us “press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:14).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Undivided

Please note that the following are my own opinions and do not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff or Executive Council, or any official position of Advent Christian General Conference.

I’ve been reading the recent posts on A.C. Voices with interest. I too listened to the panel discussion on denominational restructuring at the triennial convention. Although I was not surprised by the diversity of opinions presented, there was more consensus between the participants than I had anticipated. Comments were made about the need for unity of purpose at all levels of our denomination. Others noted that the question “What is an Advent Christian?” is often answered in terms of relationships. That ties in with things I’ve observed just in the past few weeks, and which I shared with my church following the convention...

For the past decade or so I have been attending the Appalachian Region Family Camp. This year in particular I realized that most of my closest friendships are people that I have gotten to know through the camp. That is somewhat ironic given that my own church has not really promoted or participated in Family Camp. There have been several years when I was the only one from my church who attended. As a result, my friends tend to be from other A.C. churches, while many members of my church may not know any Advent Christians outside our congregation. (I’m not passing judgment on any of the church members or those who have served in leadership. I’m just stating the facts.)

Those relational connections were reinforced for me during the Appalachian Regional Meeting following camp. It was reported that five churches in the Piedmont Conference are currently searching for pastors, including my own church. When we are isolated from other churches, it can feel like we are on our own or, at best, competing with other churches for the few pastors available. But when I know and love people at those other churches, I want each them to find the right pastor, and I hurt for them in the times of loss and disappointment. I pray for God’s direction and provision for them as well as for my own church.

Those kinds of relationships at the conference and regional levels don’t happen by accident. As with relationships within the local church, we need unhurried and unstructured time together to find our connections and unity in Christ. That is usually the biggest area of feedback on the triennial conventions—the available time and space for fellowship. For some people it is a reunion with college classmates, but for many of us it’s connecting with people we’ve gotten to know through camps, summer ministries, other churches, and extended family. (Our multigenerational A.C.s are all related somehow!)

However, the convention also revealed some relational disconnects as well. Only 23% of our churches sent delegates, and only 65% of our conferences sent delegates. Two small conferences had neither church nor conference representation. In addition, as I shared in my report to the delegate body, about two-thirds of churches participate in Penny Crusade, a little over half give to United Ministries, but one quarter do neither one. I have not yet correlated delegate representation with individual church giving trends; however, if churches are not contributing financially to denominational activities and they don’t feel the need to send people to the business meetings, that raises a lot of questions. Perhaps it goes back to asking them what it means for them to be Advent Christian.

Tom Loghry has already commented on the multitude of committees and boards that need filled at each church, conference, regional, and denominational level. That challenge is exacerbated by the number of churches that choose not to participate or even mention activities outside their local community. It has often been said that the pastor is the gatekeeper of the church, and if he or she doesn’t share events or fundraisers with the church board and congregation, there’s little that anyone else can do about it. As I imagine most denominations would say, we could have the best structure in the world but still be declining in numbers if each church is not involved and invested.

So as we look to the future, I don’t think restructuring is the best or only answer. I’m all for eliminating redundancy and unnecessary committees, but that only addresses one piece of the problem. From my own experience, establishing and nurturing relationships are an absolute necessity. As I write often in my blog posts, God didn’t call us into relationship with Himself alone, but He made us members of His Body, united throughout all time and space for the purpose of loving Him, loving one another, and loving the world by sharing the Gospel. I am increasingly convinced that the local church is insufficient for these things. We need frequent reminders that we really do need one another.

“In [Christ] the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord… There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all” (Eph. 2: 21, 4:4-6).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

It All Adds Up

I keep a list of possible topics for my blog though I don’t often go back and use them. However, one caught my eye today— “Relationships are our greatest asset.” I think we can all agree that there are few blessings in life that are quite as valuable as our close relationships with friends and family. But from an accounting perspective, our greatest assets are also our greatest liabilities. Nothing hurts nearly as much as broken or wounded relationships. It’s also true that every relationship is unique. So when one relationship is hurt, although others can help to compensate for the loss, they never really replace the damaged one.

To toss in another accounting idea, we often forget about the return on investment for relationships. Close relationships require a significant investment of time and energy, especially at the beginning. Once that investment has been made then there is greater benefit experienced, and even small amounts of time with those we love are more valuable than longer periods with those we don’t yet know well. Oftentimes in the church it seems like we are unwilling to make the initial investment in relationships, so we never get the full benefit from our brothers and sisters in Christ that we could.

We also need to remember that all relationships require an ongoing investment of time. You can’t stop paying your insurance premiums and expect to keep the same level of benefit forever, and you can’t stop talking to your friends and expect the relationships to remain intact.

In a recent XPastor webinar, Warren Bird commented that “Trust is built in drops, but lost in buckets.” Although he was talking about organizational leadership, the same applies to individuals. We build trust in relationships slowly, but it can be lost very quickly by careless words, disagreements, and other challenges. When those buckets fall, it takes a new investment to rebuild what has been lost.

When it comes to relationships, I tend think of Job. It’s often been said that his friends did a good job before they started talking.

“Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this… they raised their voices and wept... and they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great” (2:11,13).

But once they started speculating on the reasons for his suffering, Job said,

“My relatives have failed me, my close friends have forgotten me… Have mercy on me, have mercy on me, O you my friends, for the hand of God has touched me!” (19:14, 21).

Having been through a variety of pains in relationships lately, it’s tempting to just quit on people. It’s hard to keep expending effort on those who never seem to respond. (I suppose many of those who are parents feel the same way.) Current culture tends to favor looking out for yourself and giving up on difficult relationships. But for Christians, since we’re commanded to love even our enemies (Matt. 5:44), pulling away from our Christian brothers and sisters is usually not an option. The only exception given in Scripture is for those who claim to be Christians but are living in ongoing, unrepentant sin (1 Cor. 5:11). It is far too easy in our “pick-a-church” culture to walk away when things get hard rather than enduring with one another and working through the hard times together. We are called to a higher standard of loving others as God loved us (1 John 4:9-11). May we all make the effort to do so!

“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection... Live in harmony with one another... If possible so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom. 12:9-10, 16, 18).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Connections

Some people might understand my feelings lately that I struggle to know how to connect with people in reciprocal ways. Although I have some people that I consider close friends, I have no idea whether those people perceive the relationships the same way I do. For them I may an acquaintance, coworker, friend, or close friend, but I don’t know.

I’ve been watching some YouTube videos from autistic folks lately, particularly from Tony Attwood, and also from “Mom on the Spectrum.” She has two videos on autism and friendship. I could identify with much of what she talked about in terms of not understanding what people expect from relationships or how to communicate in ways that are understood from both sides. However, I think much of what was said could apply to most anyone who is an introvert or highly sensitive person: hating small talk, wanting deeper conversations and perhaps going too deep too fast, finding group settings draining as you try to understand and navigate varying expectations, etc. Taking such videos at face value, and realizing that many may be coming from self-diagnosed autistics, one might conclude that the spectrum is incredibly wide. I think it is indeed wider than many people realize, because of the stereotypes that are prevalent in society (think Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory). I believe there is value in the “neurodiversity” conversation, and that we should stop thinking in terms of “normal” and “abnormal.” But that's kind of a tangential issue. 

As I’ve said before, I think most people in modern society could use training in how to develop real relationships and communicate better. We’ve become so tech-driven and socially-distanced that all relationships are suffering. Chatting at the coffee pot or making plans to spend quality time with people outside our nuclear family have become exceptions rather than the rule. Those of us who are introverts, have social anxiety, and/or are unmarried are finding it harder and harder to connect with people, and many of us are suffering from loneliness in our isolation.

One of the issues I have is trying to figure out how to ask people for the relational interaction I want and need. I think this is particularly hard in church relationships because we’re constantly being told “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3-4). I’ve always taken that to mean: never ask for help, never intrude on anyone else’s time and space, just do your job to serve other people and don’t expect anything in return. However, I would note a couple things:

1) Paul said “look not only to his own interests.” He didn’t say “Ignore your own interests.” Stewarding your time, energy, and relationships well shouldn’t have to mean burning out because you’ve given all you can and no one is feeding back into your life. Jesus quoted from Isaiah 42, “a bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not quench” (Matt. 12:20). When we are bruised and depleted, we need people who will help to hold us up. What we don’t need is another command to “think about others first.” (I hate the acronym “Jesus-Others-You,” and the way sayings like that are often used to shame people into serving others.) While I do think some of the conversations about “self-care” often turn into selfishness, we need to reframe the issues. Some authors have framed it this way: the choice is not just between selfishness and selflessness, but also includes self-awareness. Which brings me to my second observation:

2) We are all at different places in our daily walk with God. Some are experiencing times of weakness, while others are in times of strength. Some are great encouragers, others are great leaders, and others are great at serving others. Some currently have many demands on their time and energy, while others have more freedom, and some people simply have more energy to begin with. And some people find relationships easier to navigate than others do. There is no single standard for what loving and serving one another should look like. And that’s why we belong to the Body of Christ, where all our gifts, abilities, and personalities should come together and we “encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thess. 5:11), each in our unique ways. Looking to the interests of others ought to mean “What do I currently have to contribute and how might that benefit a particular person or group? And where am I weak that I need others to help and support me right now?”

Admittedly, our perceptions of our own wants and needs can be tainted by sin, but that doesn’t mean we totally ignore our feelings of weakness and depletion. We are human beings who are made to need one another, not automatons that can run continuously without recharging. I would suggest that this misperception is a prime factor in pastoral burnout as well as people leaving the church. True, church is not “all about me,” but I am one of the “one anothers” who needs the church just as much as it needs me.

“In [Christ] the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit” (Eph. 2:21-22).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Wrong Way

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18).

I screwed up. I used rash, sarcastic words instead of loving, gracious words. I expressed my hurt and frustration in ways that hurt others. What I might have said instead in this particular situation— “I miss seeing the people I love and talking to them on a regular basis… I don’t like feeling invisible to those around me… I’m tired of feeling lonely but I don’t know how to connect with busy people…”

Feeling distant and unseen, my words only created greater distance. Feeling insecure, my words created greater insecurity. Feeling like I was on the outside looking in, my words only built the wall higher. Feeling confused about the state of the relationship, my words only made it more unclear.

Being Christian doesn’t mean we don’t make mistakes or that we don’t need to keep learning. But it does mean we need to face our mistakes and reconcile relationships. As this TGC article, “Battling Sinful Sarcasm” points out, our words can either hurt or heal, and we need to learn to evaluate them before they come out of our mouths or fingertips. Perhaps if I’d read this article when it came out 10 years ago, I wouldn’t have had to learn the lesson the hard way.

In a world of instant communication, where the rule is “post while it’s hot,” and where snark reigns supreme, it’s easy to forget that other people may not perceive things the way they are intended. And that kind of lazy communication has infiltrated verbal interactions as well. I’ll admit I’m not good at figuring out what other people are thinking, but now I see better that I can’t assume that they can read me either. It seems to me that most everyone needs training in interpersonal communication, and perhaps especially so in the church where we are to follow Scriptural commands such as:

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Col. 4:6).

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Eph. 4:29).

On the Ephesians verse, in the past I always thought of “corrupting talk” as referring to language that uses God’s name in vain or intentionally leads others into sin and condemnation. The Greek word can also be translated rotten, worthless, or useless. Most of the other places where it is used in the New Testament are Jesus’ references to bad fruit (Matt. 7:17-18 et al). Anything that bears bad fruit is corrupting God’s design for His world and His people. Our words are to build up, not tear down. They are to be full of grace and truth, not barbs and innuendo. They are to reflect how much we love one another.

In the devotional book Take Heart by David Powlison, the reading for April 20 includes this prayer:

“Our Father, please have mercy on us. We live so carelessly… Let us take seriously the delightful call of Christ, calling us out of darkness into light. Let us embrace your call in ways that are life rearranging, the call that we would become men and women who contribute to the quantum of light in the dark world, and don’t just bumble along as one more person stumbling through the darkness.”

“He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend” (Prov. 22:11).

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Here’s a related post I wrote last year: https://mental3degree.blogspot.com/2022/08/fully-present.html

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© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

A Friend in Need

There was a helpful panel discussion on friendship recently on a podcast from the Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship. Although this was a panel of men, the discussion was not limited to male friendships. A couple comments were made that “marriage is not eternal, but Christian friendship is eternal,” and “friendship is not optional.” If you accept those statements as true (which I suppose some may debate), I think the American church in general is falling far short of the ideal. If we really believed that Christian friendships are eternal and are not optional, wouldn’t we spend far more time and energy cultivating relationships within the Body of Christ?

This is a subject I write about frequently, largely because as a single person I am aware of how much time I spend alone and lonely. I don’t have someone to share dinner with and chat about my day, or consult about decisions to be made, or pray with about life’s difficulties. For me to do those things, I have to call someone and arrange a time and place to meet. Married people tend to take for granted the routine conversations they have with their spouse every day.

The pandemic has highlighted this issue for me. I think in the early weeks of social distancing, people were more aware and intentional in trying to maintain relationships with friends and fellow church members. Over time that seems to have declined. Everyone is tired of Zoom meetings and Facebook chats and trying to figure out ever-changing schedules and quarantine protocols. And as most churches have resumed some form of in-person gathering, it often seems to be assumed that a five-minute conversation in the church parking lot is sufficient interaction from week to week. (Cold weather doesn’t help.)

In times like these, we need to work that much harder to find ways to connect with people and keep building the eternal friendships we all need.

“God has so composed the body… that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another” (1 Cor. 12:24-25).

“But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:13).

It takes hard work and commitment to care for one another and exhort one another every day. This isn’t a one-hour-a-week obligation, this is day in and day out. “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly” (1 Peter 4:8a). The Greek word translated earnestly also has the meaning of fervently, constantly, without slacking. This kind of constant, loving involvement with our brothers and sisters in Christ is important for several reasons.

1) It helps to guard us against the deceitfulness of sin and the tendency to drift away (Heb. 2:1, 3:13).

2) It comforts and encourages those who are suffering to keep holding on (2 Cor. 1:6-7).

3) It reminds us of the unity we have in Christ (Eph. 4:1-6).

4) It helps us to shine God’s light in the darkness (1 Peter 2:9-12).

“God is present in the company of the righteous” (Psalm 14:5b NIV). God’s power is made increasingly evident by the unity, constancy, and love in the Body of Christ. That’s why Satan wants to fracture relationships and isolate people. If we think we’re alone, we’re less of a threat to him and we’re more vulnerable to his attacks.

So as we continue plodding along this long pandemic road, let us keep looking for safe ways to keep gathering so we can keep encouraging one another for the days ahead.  

“For where two or three are gathered in My name, there am I among them” (Matt. 18:20).

 © 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Coming of Age

Ed Stetzer wrote in Christians in the Age of Outrage:

“The rise of podcasts, social media, and online streaming can leave the impression that we are actually being discipled by the leaders we follow. For sure, leaders who excel in these formats can help foster our discipleship growth, particularly in locations or circumstances where there are few alternatives. However, we need to understand that these resources are at best supplemental to our spiritual discipleship. Discipleship is necessarily embodied; that is, discipleship is an exchange or dialogue between Christians. It is a personal investment on the part of mature believers in others with the overarching purpose of equipping them for righteous living and Kingdom ministry (Ephesians 4:12)” (ch. 7).

In this time of ongoing social distancing, many have recognized the deficiencies of virtual meetings and classrooms, and online sermons and Bible studies. Those things are all fine as far as they go, but they don’t replace in person discipleship.

I was thinking back to when I started college. I considered myself a fairly strong Christian, and I chose to go to a Christian college. Once I was there I was able to connect with Christians from a wide variety of backgrounds. Not only did the classes teach us to think through our beliefs more clearly, but the professors modeled Christian life, encouraged us, and prayed for us. Fellow students challenged one another to study the Bible, memorize Scripture, and remain accountable in times of temptation. It was through close discipling relationships that I came to understand God’s grace and mercy toward us. And it was through those relationships that I found encouragement and help in difficult times.

I can’t imagine how different my life would be if I had not been living on campus but had done all my coursework online. I would not have some of the friendships that are still important to me almost three decades later. (Where did the time go?!) I would not have connected with the people that led me to my current job, ministry, home, and church. I would not have wrestled with my faith in the same ways, and as a result my faith would be much weaker than it is.

As school systems, universities, and churches are all sorting through the challenges of teaching in the midst of a pandemic, we all need to remember that education is not just about conveying knowledge. Preparing students for life takes more than a talking head on a screen. And preparing Christians for ministry takes even more interpersonal connections. We all know that to be true, but we may tend to downplay its significance when it’s difficult to overcome obstacles.

“While the world struggles with the where, who, and why of moral education and formation, the church should be Christians’ source of teaching on forming life-giving habits. The Christian community is built around the concept of discipleship but many churches have not thought about how to teach proper discipleship practices in this digital world” (Stetzer, ch. 2).

The author of Hebrews wrote that “solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil” (Heb. 5:14 ESV). Maturity doesn’t happen in isolation. I suspect that many parents would say that social isolation has often revealed the immaturity of their children in recent weeks. I can say with certainty that whatever spiritual maturity I have is a result of relationships with those who have taught me, questioned me, challenged me, encouraged me, and even rebuked me when needed.

What will be the impact of current events on the future faith of today’s youth? How can we build and maintain the kind of discipling relationships that we all need? How much time and effort are we willing to invest for good of the Kingdom?

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Not Good

In his novel Deadline, Randy Alcorn imagines hell as complete isolation, being left alone with just your own thoughts. Quarantine may be a small taste of hell for many of us. Drew Hunter writes in Made for Friendship:

“[We] find that friendlessness isn’t just depressing; it’s actually quite dangerous. When we come unglued from others socially, we come unraveled emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. This is because we’re embodied beings… So when we experience loneliness, it affects every part of us… relationships put us back together. Friendship is the missing medicine for many of our afflictions” (40-41).

God’s statement in creation, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18), was not a result of the Fall but before it. It also did not just refer to the marriage relationship. In His triune nature God is relational, and He made us for relationships as well. Hunter quotes Tim Keller,

“Adam was not lonely because he was imperfect, but because he was perfect. The ache for friends is the one ache that is not the result of sin… This is one ache that is part of his perfection… God made us in such a way that we cannot enjoy paradise without friends.”

Adam had daily access to God walking with him, and yet that was not sufficient.

“Wonderful as are both the presence of the Lord Jesus every day and the prospect of his coming on the last day, they are not intended to be a substitute for human friendships… When our spirit is lonely, we need friends… To admit this is not unspiritual; it is human” (John Stott as quoted by Hunter).

Matthew Stanford writes in Grace for the Afflicted: A Clinical and Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness:

“An active and supportive faith community cultivates life, while isolation beings frustration and fatigue… A strong faith community offers comfort and support, gains wisdom as it learns from one another, shares and upholds common values, strengthens one another, takes risks together, and always looks to encourage one another… The key is staying connected to a few trusted and supportive people, not trying to keep up with the gathering or community events that are wearing them down. Living in community is more about being connected to life-giving relationships than trying to attend events with people a person doesn’t know well” (ch. 15).

The author of Hebrews warns us, “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin… And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 3:13, 10:24-25).

“We can’t experience this everyday encouragement with every person in our church. This command gets traction as we carry it out in smaller networks of relationships—in friendships. In other words, perseverance in the faith requires the practice of friendship. This means that we should view discipleship as a form of friendship. Real discipleship—helping others follow Jesus—happens in the rhythms of everyday life. Discipleship works best when we pursue it in life-on-life relationships” (Hunter 93).

As we’ve all been experiencing varying degrees of isolation during this pandemic, I hope we’re all realizing the value and need of our relationships within the Body of Christ. Like me, you may be discovering which relationships mean the most to you, or perhaps seeing a lack of true friendships that you hadn’t noticed till now. I would challenge all in church leadership to reassess all the programs of their churches and see whether they are contributing to the relational discipleship we all need. How much connection is there between members outside of Sunday morning?

Those who think that online services are just as good if not better than in person services have a very limited view of what the church is or should be. If teaching is all you’re looking for, then there are thousands of good options out there. But teaching is only one part of the biblical prescription for the Body of Christ. “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (Ephesians 4:15-16). We can’t grow up in Christ unless we grow together.

“In [Christ] the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit” (Ephesians 2:21-22).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

In the Face of Faith

At the beginning of his second letter to Timothy, the Apostle Paul wrote, “As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy” (2 Tim. 1:4 ESV). We’re not told what caused Timothy’s tears. Was he sorrowful about being parted from his friend and mentor Paul? Was he anxious about being left in charge of the church in Ephesus? We know he was young (1 Tim. 4:12) and had some ailments that were perhaps exacerbated by stress (1 Tim. 5:23). Judging from the type of instruction that Paul wrote in his letters, Timothy needed some specific guidelines to follow in the ministry. When we’re anxious about something, if someone will clearly outline what needs to be done it helps to ease the fear. There was apparently controversy in the church that probably added to Timothy’s struggles.

Besides addressing the immediate problems and questions Timothy must have had, Paul reminded him of several things in just a few verses:

1) He had been gifted for and appointed to this ministry by God and by Paul himself. “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands” (v. 6).

2) He displayed faith that others could see. “I am reminded of your sincere faith” (v. 5).

3) He was being prayed for by Paul. “I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day” (v. 3).

4) He had access to the same spiritual resources that Paul did. “Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Christ Jesus our Lord” (v. 2). “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (v. 7).

All these things (and many more) contributed to the close relationship that Paul and Timothy had. Although Paul refers to many people as “beloved brothers,” Timothy is the only one he refers to as his “beloved child” (v. 2 and 1 Cor. 4:17). (He refers to Titus as “my true child in the faith.”) No doubt Timothy prized that relationship just as much as Paul did. It appears that Timothy’s father was not a believer (Acts 16:1), so he may well have viewed Paul as his true father. And since Paul was in prison and likely facing death, Timothy was surely concerned about him and what the future might hold.

One particular phrase in this section stands out to me— “I long to see you that I may be filled with joy” (v. 4). The Apostle John used a similar statement in 2 John 12, “Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy maybe complete.” Joy comes in personal interactions with those you love.

I’d be curious to know how perceptions have changed among church members as a result of stay-at-home orders. Are there people you long to see, not just so you can catch up on the news, but so you can find out how God has been working in and through them? Are there people you are praying for night and day that they may be strengthened in the faith? Are you encouraged by the evidence of faith you see in someone’s life?

Recently a friend posted a Facebook video of her son leading a devotional. Even though I haven’t seen this young man in at least a decade, I was filled with joy because of his evident faith. Another friend shared about the joy of listening to her son lead worship online from his bedroom. It brought back memories of hearing kids in our church singing along with the music, seeing them baptized, and taking part in the service in other ways. All of those joys make me long to see that same kind of faith in other young people I know.

As hard as this pandemic has been for all of us, I hope and pray that we are all discovering both the longing we have to be with the Body of Christ and the joy in knowing that others are persevering in the faith. This is what the apostles longed for in each church they established and every believer they knew.

“For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you—that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine” (Rom. 1:11-12).

“But since we were torn away from you, brothers [and sisters], for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face” (1 Thess. 2:17).

“[You] always remember us kindly and long to see us, as we long to see you—for this reason, brothers, in all our distress and affliction we have been comforted about you through your faith. For now we live, if you are standing fast in the Lord. For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God, as we pray most earnestly night and day that we may see you face to face and supply what is lacking in your faith?” (1 Thess. 3:6-10).

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 4).

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See also Matt Broadway’s brief devotional on 2 Corinthians 7:13-16 “Finding Joy.”

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Let's Talk

Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, by Sherry Turkle, is a book I would recommend to pastors, parents, and anyone who uses a smart phone or social media. Though it was written in 2015 it’s still relevant today. Following are a few quotes and thoughts on the “progress” of technology:

“This new mediated life has gotten us into trouble. Face-to-face conversation is the most human—and humanizing—thing we do. Fully present to one another, we learn to listen. It’s where we develop the capacity for empathy. It’s where we experience the joy of being heard, of being understood. And conversation advances self-reflection, the conversations with ourselves that are the cornerstone of early development and continue throughout life… But these days we find ways around conversation. We hide from each other even as we’re constantly connected to each other. For on our screens, we are tempted to present ourselves as we would like to be… online and at our leisure, it is easy to compose, edit, and improve as we revise” (3-4).

“We are being silenced by our technologies… These silences—often in the presence of our children—have led to a crisis of empathy that has diminished us at home, at work, and in public life” (9).

“Conversation implies something kinetic. It is derived from words that mean ‘to tend to each other, to lean toward each other,’ words about the activity of relationship, one’s ‘manner of conducting oneself in the world or in society; behavior, mode or course of life.’ To converse you don’t just have to perform turn taking, you have to listen to someone else, to read their body, their voice, their tone, and their silences. You bring your concern and experience to bear, and you expect the same from others” (44-45).

“To get children back to conversation—and learning the empathic skills that come from conversation—the first, crucial step is to talk with children. These days, it is often children who seem least afraid to point out that technology is too often getting in the way” (111).

 “People require eye contact for emotional stability and social fluency. A lack of eye contact is association with depression, isolation, and the development of antisocial traits such as exhibiting callousness. And the more we develop these psychological problems, the more we shy away from eye contact… If a tool gets in the way of our looking at each other, we should use it only when necessary. It shouldn’t be the first thing we turn to. One thing is certain: The tool that is handy is not always the right tool” (325).

Although it’s not written from a Christian worldview, this book made me consider what it means for us to be embodied souls made in the image of God. Our God, in Triune community, created man and said “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18 ESV). But ever since the Fall (Genesis 3) there has been division, dissension, and disruption to our relationships. God gave the Law to Moses (Exodus 20), but the condition of mankind required something more—an embodied presence. “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14).

Physical presence is important to who we are as human beings. Jesus touched the lepers, the blind, and the lame. He looked the outcasts in the eye. John testified to “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life” (1 John 1:1). It is impossible for us to fulfill all the “one another” commands through digital media alone.

We know these things, and yet it is all too easy for us to turn to texts, emails, or Facebook as a substitute for a real conversation with another person, and people are suffering the consequences. Children aren’t learning how to have real conversations or how to empathize with others. There’s an epidemic of loneliness among all ages. Suicide rates are increasing even when we’re the most electronically “connected” generation ever. Turkle writes that “human relationships are rich, messy, and demanding. When we clean them up with technology, we move from conversation to the efficiencies of mere connection. I fear we forget the difference” (21). Perhaps we each need to step back and evaluate where technology is leading us and reclaim what is being lost.

“Walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the body of peace” (Ephesians 4:1b-3).

© 2019 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Not Just the Facts

James Clear wrote, “In many circumstances, social connection is actually more helpful to your daily life than understanding the truth of a particular fact or idea… We don't always believe things because they are correct. Sometimes we believe things because they make us look good to the people we care about… The way to change people’s minds is to become friends with them, to integrate them into your tribe, to bring them into your circle. Now, they can change their beliefs without the risk of being abandoned socially.”

Whether he intended so or not, his observations have profound implications for the Church. How often have we heard, “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care”? And yet we often don’t practice what we preach. We think that people will be won to our point of view simply because we rehearse the facts with increasing frequency and volume. For some people, this seems to be their only purpose for using social media. (Those are the ones I hide from my Facebook feed.) It doesn’t matter if the subject is politics, education, abortion, or the gospel, we’ve forgotten that relationships trump truth almost every time.

Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 12:37-40 ESV). He didn’t say, “Love God and preach the truth.” As important as the truth of God is, “teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matt. 28:18-20) is subordinate to loving others. Making disciples has to flow from a heart of love for others. The Apostle Paul wrote, “So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (1 Thess. 2:8).

If we were to focus more effort on loving others well, more people might be drawn to believe what we believe. That’s not to say that we never state the truth, but that there’s rarely anything to be gained by hammering someone over the head with it. More hearts are changed by walking alongside others than by getting in their faces. Recently I was reading part of Jesus’ teaching, and it made a big difference when I imagined it not as a lecture, but as a friend drawing close and giving counsel to His friends. A lecture is either information that can be ignored or condemnation that puts us on the defensive. But loving counsel is something to be seriously considered and heeded.

Rosaria Butterfield has shared in her books and this video how it was “radically ordinary hospitality” from a Christian couple that led her to leave the LGBT community and become a Christian. “They didn’t see me as a project, but they saw me as a neighbor… It’s God who saves. It’s not about us being perfect, or our words being perfect. But show up, we must, in the lives of unbelievers… Hospitality, biblically speaking, takes strangers and makes them neighbors. It takes neighbors and makes them family of God.”

I think churches tend to overestimate their friendliness and underestimate the amount of time it takes to build strong relationships with people. If young adults truly felt loved and valued in their churches, they wouldn’t be nearly so quick to drift away. It really was different when the church was the center of the community and everyone knew their neighbors because they saw each other almost every day. Those relationships were a natural outgrowth of time spent together. Today we spend an hour together once or twice a week and think that is sufficient to build a strong community bond. We settle for “friending” people on Facebook rather than loving them as our neighbors, and then we wonder why no one wants to become a Christian or to join the church. Have they truly experienced the love of God through us? Have we offered them our very lives, or just the facts?

“By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

© 2019 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Pursuing Holiness

CCEF recently posted this podcast on addictions with Alasdair Groves and Mike Emlet. They made several good suggestions in how to cope with addictive patterns and behaviors:

• Recognize the triggers in your life—specific stresses that contribute to a desire to escape.
• Walk in the light with others about how you’re struggling. “Sometimes we put just enough on the table to keep people from looking under the table.”
• Fail well—using failure as an opportunity to turn away from sin and back to holiness, not minimizing sin or diving back into addiction.
• Watch out for the “micro-steps” in the wrong direction—is my heart inclining toward sin?
• Celebrate “micro-steps” in the right direction—changes in attitude and heart.

We all have some addictive tendencies (sin patterns) though they have varying degrees of intensity and consequences. I know my own “preferred sins” and I know many of the stresses that lead me to desire sin. I often think of a comment C. S. Lewis made in one of his letters that when he had made some progress against obvious temptations the devil then had to resort to “stratagems and ploys” to trip him up. Over time the ploys change, so we have to “be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8 ESV).

 “[What is] miserable is when we go for years and years in the bondage of sin and see no way out. Of course the enemy wants us to believe that ‘this is just the way I am’ or ‘this is the best I can hope for’ when in reality that is the furthest thing from the truth… Sin has a way of keeping us subdued and alone—even in a crowd—by threatening to expose us and humiliate us.” –Dennis Jernigan (Daily Devotions for Kingdom Seekers, Nov. 27-28).

“What a person needs is not an expert [on sin] but a friend to walk with them.” –Christopher Yuan

I think one of the biggest hindrances to the pursuit of holiness is the lack of close friends we can trust to keep us accountable and walk in the light with us. We all need a few such people in our lives.

Listening to Alistair Begg’s messages on Remorse or Repentance this week on Truth for Life, I pictured some people I know who seem to have fallen off either side of the narrow road. Some made a declaration of faith, but later withered away because they had no root (Matthew 13) and today are nowhere to be seen around the church. Others appear to be actively involved in ministry, but below the surface they are living in unrepentant sin. Both types of people are in danger of eternal judgment, and often only God knows their hearts. If they had maintained close relationships with strong Christians, they would have been much less likely to slide off the path.

May we be quick to repent to God and to a close friend, and may we be the kind of friends who can be trusted to listen and help those who are struggling.

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:13-14).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Among Friends

I read the following quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer (originally from Life Together) in a compilation of writings titled Called to Community: The Life Jesus Wants for His People.

“If we do not give thanks daily for the Christian fellowship in which we have been placed, even where there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty; if on the contrary, we only keep complaining to God that everything is to paltry and petty, so far from what we expected, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow according to the measure and riches which are there for us all in Jesus Christ… The more thankfully we daily receive what is given to us, the more surely and steadily will fellowship increase and grow from day to day as God pleases.”

Moments after reading that, I read another part of the same Bonhoeffer quote in Messy Beautiful Friendship, by Christine Hoover (a book I would recommend):

“The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly… When things do not go his way, he calls the effort a failure… So he becomes, first an accuser of his brethren, then an accuser of God, and finally the despairing accuser of himself.”

I find that to be both convicting and frustrating. As Hoover spells out in her book, we all make assumptions about friendship and fellowship, and more often than not our assumptions are based on what we want and need for ourselves. Some of our assumptions may be biblical, but many are not. I sometimes find myself thinking things like:

• If people were really committed to our church, so many would show up for Bible study that we’d have groups meeting every night of the week.
• If we were pursuing real fellowship, we wouldn’t have so many people who feel alone and isolated.
• If people really cared about one another, it wouldn’t be so hard to get real conversations going.

I wrestle with finding a balance somewhere between selfishly expecting too much from people and apathetically expecting nothing from anyone. As I read the scriptural “one another” admonitions, I still believe that the modern church ought to raise the bar for what we expect in relationships—love one another, outdo one another in showing honor, live in harmony with one another, welcome one another, instruct one another, comfort one another, serve one another, bear one another’s burdens, be kind to one another, encourage one another, exhort one another, confess your sins to one another, pray for one another, show hospitality to one another, abound in love for one another… 

But at the same time, I realize that my needs and desires may differ from others in both type and intensity because we have different types of responsibilities, homes, and interests. And if we are building relationships based on our commonalities, rather than our differences, it will likely take more intense effort in more condensed periods of time. Tim Keller said, “In a busy culture like ours, all our other loves will push themselves upon us. Friendship takes incredibly deliberate time.”

It is not always easy to be thankful for what we do have rather than bemoan what we don’t. We also need to consider whether we are expecting from people what only God can give. I completely agree with Hoover that:

“In our wish-dreams, we tend to make people our gods. We look to them—at least I have—to know us intimately at all times, to meet our every need, to be there when we want them near, and to love us unconditionally and perfectly, when the map points only to God as having these abilities” (37-38).

I think we probably all have some learning and growing to do in our relationships with one another in the Body of Christ.

“Gracious Lord Jesus, I need to know You as my friend. It is not for some specific blessing I ask, but for the greatest of all blessings, the one from which all others flow. I dare to ask You for a renewal of the wonderful friendship that makes the conversation called prayer a natural give-and-take divine dialogue… Open my mind so I may see myself and my relationships from Your perspective” (Lloyd John Ogilvie, Praying Through the Tough Times, 222).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Who Can Satisfy?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the disappointments Jesus encountered with His friends and family while on earth:

• “He said to [His parents], ‘Did you not know that I must be in My Father’s house?’” (Luke 2:49 ESV).
• “And when His family heard it, they went out to seize Him, for they were saying, ‘He is out of His mind.’ …And He answered them, ‘Who are my mother and my brothers? …Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, He is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:21, 33-35).
• “For not even His brothers believed in Him” (John 7:5).
• “And He said to them, ‘Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?’” (Matthew 8:26).
• “And Jesus answered, ‘O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you?’” (Matthew 17:17).
• “Jesus said to him, ‘Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen Me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?” (John 14:9).
• “He rebuked Peter and said, ‘Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man” (Mark 8:33).
• “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?” (Luke 22:48).
• “And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how He had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times” (Luke 22:61).

These few quotes have really reminded me that Jesus was indeed “despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). He identified fully with our human experiences, not just by being tempted or being weak and weary, but in being alone, misunderstood, betrayed, and rejected.

Sometimes reading through the Gospel accounts we may get the idea that Jesus and the disciples were a fun-loving group of guys who always got along and never had any conflict (well, except for that little “arguing who’s the best” thing). I’m sure Jesus did enjoy being with them for the most part, though He also liked to get away to pray on a regular basis. But there are no relationships free from conflict and disappointment, and the closer the relationship, the more likely there will be troubled times.

When loneliness and relational disappointments strike, I take comfort in knowing that Jesus not only knows, but He’s experienced all that and more. I’m also reminded that Jesus came as “Immanuel, God with us” (Matthew 1:23) and before He left earth He promised, “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). And even beyond that, He is “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27). It doesn’t get any more intimate than that, and nobody on earth can satisfy my soul as He can. He is the only One who can truthfully claim to be the Bread of Life and the Living Water.

“Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for His wondrous works to the children of man! For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things” (Psalm 107:8-9).

[As a side note, one of my favorite songs is “Who Can Satisfy My Soul” by Dennis Jernigan. Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wc0_9kKZq0c ]

© 2017 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. 

No Comparison

This week I read a couple articles that got me thinking about how we perceive ourselves and others. From the minute we’re born (or even before), we are compared to a standard and ranked according to percentiles in height, weight, and who knows what else. Will he be tall like his dad, or short like mom?

Starting preschool or school brings more comparisons, and not just in terms of achievements and tests. Little kids observe one another to find out what they have in common. Does she like to play with horses or read books? Commonalities serve as a basis for friendship, but they also create segregation. Where there is a lack of connection, a child, adolescent, or adult will often jump to one of two conclusions: there’s something wrong with me, or there’s something wrong with you.

I thought about some of the percentiles I fall into— 2% here, 10% there, 60% in that area. Some of those are good, some not so good. Some I would change if I could. It’s easy to look around and envy those who are different, or to feel like an anomaly because I am in the minority in many categories. But God called me to this life, not to that one. He allowed every gene, every circumstance, every heartache, and every opportunity that made me who I am today. But I don’t get a reprieve from the Great Commission just because I’m an introvert. I also don’t get to overlook people just because they aren’t like me.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him” (7:17 ESV). “But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak” (8:9). It is comfortable to hang around with people who are just like us, but it can also be detrimental to the Body of Christ. If we focus on external similarities, we may miss the opportunity to find that we are brothers and sisters at heart. The unity that comes from Christ should far outweigh any unity that comes from biology or experience.

Our culture makes it hard to really know people. We are constantly told that we need to act a certain way, wear the right clothes, and never let anyone see our weaknesses. That gives us the appearance of external uniformity, but prevents the true unity that grows out of humility and authenticity. The church is not immune to this type of hypocrisy. Most people dress up for church (to varying degrees), act differently, and maybe clean up their language around church people. It can be a challenge to let others see behind the façade, or to remember that others may not be what they seem either. I am often reminded that authentic community is started by the example of one person taking a risk. Depth of relationships can’t come about any other way.

Take a risk; I dare you!

“When they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding” (2 Corinthians 10:12b).

© 2016 Dawn Rutan.