There was a helpful panel discussion on friendship recently on a podcast from the Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship. Although this was a panel of men, the discussion was not limited to male friendships. A couple comments were made that “marriage is not eternal, but Christian friendship is eternal,” and “friendship is not optional.” If you accept those statements as true (which I suppose some may debate), I think the American church in general is falling far short of the ideal. If we really believed that Christian friendships are eternal and are not optional, wouldn’t we spend far more time and energy cultivating relationships within the Body of Christ?
This is a subject I write about
frequently, largely because as a single person I am aware of how much time I
spend alone and lonely. I don’t have someone to share dinner with and chat
about my day, or consult about decisions to be made, or pray with about life’s
difficulties. For me to do those things, I have to call someone and arrange a
time and place to meet. Married people tend to take for granted the routine
conversations they have with their spouse every day.
The pandemic has highlighted
this issue for me. I think in the early weeks of social distancing, people were
more aware and intentional in trying to maintain relationships with friends and
fellow church members. Over time that seems to have declined. Everyone is tired
of Zoom meetings and Facebook chats and trying to figure out ever-changing schedules
and quarantine protocols. And as most churches have resumed some form of
in-person gathering, it often seems to be assumed that a five-minute
conversation in the church parking lot is sufficient interaction from week to
week. (Cold weather doesn’t help.)
In times like these, we need to
work that much harder to find ways to connect with people and keep building the
eternal friendships we all need.
“God has so composed the body… that there
may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for
one another” (1 Cor. 12:24-25).
“But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called
‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb.
3:13).
It takes hard work and
commitment to care for one another and exhort one another every day. This
isn’t a one-hour-a-week obligation, this is day in and day out. “Above all,
keep loving one another earnestly” (1 Peter 4:8a). The Greek word translated earnestly also has the meaning of fervently, constantly, without slacking.
This kind of constant, loving involvement with our brothers and sisters in
Christ is important for several reasons.
1) It helps to guard us against the deceitfulness of sin
and the tendency to drift away (Heb. 2:1, 3:13).
2) It comforts and encourages those who are suffering to
keep holding on (2 Cor. 1:6-7).
3) It reminds us of the unity we have in Christ (Eph. 4:1-6).
4) It helps us to shine God’s light in the darkness (1
Peter 2:9-12).
“God is present in the company
of the righteous” (Psalm 14:5b NIV). God’s power is made increasingly evident
by the unity, constancy, and love in the Body of Christ. That’s why Satan wants
to fracture relationships and isolate people. If we think we’re alone, we’re
less of a threat to him and we’re more vulnerable to his attacks.
So as we continue plodding
along this long pandemic road, let us keep looking for safe ways to keep
gathering so we can keep encouraging one another for the days ahead.
“For where two or three are gathered in My name, there am I among them”
(Matt. 18:20).
© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.
