Not Good

In his novel Deadline, Randy Alcorn imagines hell as complete isolation, being left alone with just your own thoughts. Quarantine may be a small taste of hell for many of us. Drew Hunter writes in Made for Friendship:

“[We] find that friendlessness isn’t just depressing; it’s actually quite dangerous. When we come unglued from others socially, we come unraveled emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. This is because we’re embodied beings… So when we experience loneliness, it affects every part of us… relationships put us back together. Friendship is the missing medicine for many of our afflictions” (40-41).

God’s statement in creation, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18), was not a result of the Fall but before it. It also did not just refer to the marriage relationship. In His triune nature God is relational, and He made us for relationships as well. Hunter quotes Tim Keller,

“Adam was not lonely because he was imperfect, but because he was perfect. The ache for friends is the one ache that is not the result of sin… This is one ache that is part of his perfection… God made us in such a way that we cannot enjoy paradise without friends.”

Adam had daily access to God walking with him, and yet that was not sufficient.

“Wonderful as are both the presence of the Lord Jesus every day and the prospect of his coming on the last day, they are not intended to be a substitute for human friendships… When our spirit is lonely, we need friends… To admit this is not unspiritual; it is human” (John Stott as quoted by Hunter).

Matthew Stanford writes in Grace for the Afflicted: A Clinical and Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness:

“An active and supportive faith community cultivates life, while isolation beings frustration and fatigue… A strong faith community offers comfort and support, gains wisdom as it learns from one another, shares and upholds common values, strengthens one another, takes risks together, and always looks to encourage one another… The key is staying connected to a few trusted and supportive people, not trying to keep up with the gathering or community events that are wearing them down. Living in community is more about being connected to life-giving relationships than trying to attend events with people a person doesn’t know well” (ch. 15).

The author of Hebrews warns us, “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin… And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 3:13, 10:24-25).

“We can’t experience this everyday encouragement with every person in our church. This command gets traction as we carry it out in smaller networks of relationships—in friendships. In other words, perseverance in the faith requires the practice of friendship. This means that we should view discipleship as a form of friendship. Real discipleship—helping others follow Jesus—happens in the rhythms of everyday life. Discipleship works best when we pursue it in life-on-life relationships” (Hunter 93).

As we’ve all been experiencing varying degrees of isolation during this pandemic, I hope we’re all realizing the value and need of our relationships within the Body of Christ. Like me, you may be discovering which relationships mean the most to you, or perhaps seeing a lack of true friendships that you hadn’t noticed till now. I would challenge all in church leadership to reassess all the programs of their churches and see whether they are contributing to the relational discipleship we all need. How much connection is there between members outside of Sunday morning?

Those who think that online services are just as good if not better than in person services have a very limited view of what the church is or should be. If teaching is all you’re looking for, then there are thousands of good options out there. But teaching is only one part of the biblical prescription for the Body of Christ. “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (Ephesians 4:15-16). We can’t grow up in Christ unless we grow together.

“In [Christ] the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit” (Ephesians 2:21-22).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.