A Reluctant Complementarian

I’ve been reading with interest the exchange of posts on complementarianism and egalitarianism on the Advent Christian Voices site. I had written on the subject a few years ago (here), but feel I need to update my blog as my own beliefs have shifted somewhat in recent years, although my prior post is still good.

When I was in college I considered myself an egalitarian, particularly after taking a class at Bethel College (now University) on “Male and Female in Biblical Perspective” in which we had to read a variety of authors including John Piper, Wayne Grudem, and Gilbert Bilezikian. After that class, it was many years before I would read anything by Piper because I thought he was so off-base and biased. As I’ve continued my research over the past two decades, I have come to believe my own conclusions were misguided, and I now consider myself a “reluctant complementarian.” Most recently I read Kevin DeYoung’s new book Men and Women in the Church: A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction, and I agree with much of what he has written there in support of a complementarian view.

As the contributors to A.C. Voices have illustrated, there are highly educated people who come to vastly different conclusions on what Scripture actually says about women in the church. Readers can find any number of authors to “prove” their position, and I will not specifically address the theology here. So why have I landed in the complementarian camp?

• Most of the complementarian authors I have read seem to provide more solid biblical evidence for their interpretation of Scripture than do egalitarian authors. I’m not an expert on Hebrew and Greek language and culture. Since Scripture is not crystal clear on the subject, the vast majority of us have to rely on the research others have done and sort it out as best we can. Complementarianism appears to me to make the most sense of the hard passages, particularly in the epistles.
• Much of my original egalitarianism was shaped more by experience and by my peers than by Scripture. We live in a fallen world and we’ve all seen abuses of power by men in the church, home, and society, but that doesn’t mean that all men are abusive or domineering. Unfortunately, women can be corrupted by power just as easily as men, and I’ve seen that happen in church settings as well. My change of mind has been influenced by seeing people I love and respect who have modeled their complementarian theology in their homes and churches with grace and compassion. They have shown me that they are not out to “keep me in my place,” but to listen, consider, and find common ground on difficult issues. Where I would naturally distrust men, I am growing in trust.

Why do I call myself a “reluctant” complementarian?

• I know there are churches and mission fields even in my own denomination that have been sustained by women when men have been unavailable, unwilling, or unable to do so. I affirm their faithfulness, but I question whether that was the biblical ideal.
• As with many aspects of gender, I try to imagine what the world was like before the fall and what it will be like after the resurrection. How will we all interact when there is no marriage or reproduction, no need for preaching and teaching, and in the presence of our Creator and Redeemer? What aspects of gender will be real or necessary at that point? How might that then impact how we interact with one another in this life? Perhaps complementarian questions will become moot because all authority will belong to Jesus rather than delegated to other leaders in the church and home.
• I grew up in a generation that said “you can be anything you want,” and it feels a bit like a betrayal of friends and family members to accept or acknowledge limitations of any kind. However, I have to bow to Jesus’ words, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matt. 16:24-25). I’ve had to wrestle with God over issues where I thought His way was unfair or undesirable, and I keep coming to the same conclusion— “He must increase but I must decrease” (John 3:30). It’s not about me doing something because I have the ability or desire, but trusting God to use me wherever and however He sees fit.

What does all this mean for me?

• I would not join a church where women regularly fill the pulpit for the purpose of proclaiming the Word. I would not be comfortable there and I would have trouble submitting to them as my spiritual leaders. I’m on the fence about women in other teaching positions, and it depends a lot on the particular women and circumstances involved.
• I also wouldn't join a church where women have no representation or voice on important decisions. We are equally members of the body and we may have unique insights on issues that need to be heard through both official and unofficial channels. If men hold all the power and refuse to listen to other perspectives, they are not loving the church well.
• I am cautious in reading the works of either the ultra-complementarian or the ultra-egalitarian, as both extremes seem likely to introduce extrabiblical standards of faith and practice.
• There is room in the Body of Christ for differences of opinion on the grey areas of Scripture. Others may come to an egalitarian point of view and lead their local churches in that manner, and that is okay.

I never would have imagined it twenty-five years ago, but this is where I believe God has led me through a wide variety of books, videos, and personal interactions. Some parts of Christian theology are not nearly as black and white as I once believed.

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another… And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Col. 3:12-13, 17).

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© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Thoughts on Luke 2-4

I had written the following devotions for publication elsewhere, but they didn’t end up being printed due to a complication.

Looking for Jesus - Luke 2

This chapter of Scripture is probably quite familiar because we hear parts of it every Christmas. What more is there to learn from it? Consider what the main characters have in common. When the shepherds saw the angels, they immediately went in search of the baby who was proclaimed to be the Savior. In Jerusalem, Simeon was waiting at the Temple because “it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ” (v. 26 ESV). Anna too “did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day” (v. 27). We also learn of Joseph and Mary that they “went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover” (v. 41). And finally, Jesus Himself said, “Did you not know that I must be in My Father’s house?” (v. 49). Each of them sensed an urgent need to pursue their faith and to go where they knew they would meet with God.

Church buildings today are not the house of God in the same way that the Temple was, but they are places set aside for the people of God to meet together. Do we have that same sense of urgency about gathering together for worship and fellowship? In many churches, the pandemic revealed that the faithful remained faithful while the marginal dropped away. Many of us grew up going to church every time the doors were open, and we have kept that habit because we see the need for it. It’s easy to make excuses not to do things if we don’t think they’re necessary. The question is, have we discipled the next generation to see the need for regular gathering with the Body of Christ?

“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers… And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God” (Acts 2:42, 46-47a).

Moving On - Luke 3

John the Baptist apparently raised a lot of curiosity. Crowds came out to be baptized by him, and at least some who were present were rebuked for hypocrisy. He told the people to “bear fruit in keeping with repentance” (v. 8 ESV), and he gave them examples of generosity, honesty, and compassion. He baptized with water, but proclaimed the coming Messiah who would “baptize you with the Holy Spirit” (v. 16). There was a definite limit to John’s ministry. He could only point people to the coming Savior. He could not save them.

Likewise today, pastors and church members cannot save anyone, they can only direct people to the Savior. They can point out sin, commend good works, and baptize with water, but only Jesus Christ can save with the power of the Holy Spirit. There are many people who have been baptized without ever really believing in Jesus as Savior and following Him as Lord.

The author of Hebrews wrote, “Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God, and of instructions about washings, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment” (Heb. 6:1-2). In essence, John the Baptist’s job was to lay the foundation, to “prepare the way of the Lord” so that “all flesh shall see the salvation of God.” Now that Jesus has provided the way of salvation, we need to press on toward maturity in Christ for ourselves and our churches, building on the foundation that has already been laid.

“Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all His energy that He powerfully works within me” (Col. 1:28-29).

Priorities - Luke 4

Jesus inaugurated His ministry by reading from Isaiah, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor” (vv. 18-19 ESV). The people of Nazareth evidently thought this was good news for their town and they marveled at His words. But they changed their minds when He refused to heal the people there, and they ran Him out of town.

He did heal many people in many places, and that was one proof of His identity. John later reported the Pharisees’ words, “Never since the world began has it been heard that anyone opened the eyes of a man born blind” (John 9:32). Physical healing was never Jesus’ primary purpose. “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose” (v. 43). For Jesus, eternal life is far more important than health in this life.

There has long been a misconception that missions must meet the physical needs of people before they will be willing to listen to anything spiritual. That is belied when people in third world countries quickly accept the gospel while those in prosperous countries see no need for any form of religion. If we lose our focus, we can spend a lot of time and money and never get around to pointing people to Jesus. That’s not to say that hunger and illness don’t matter. Christian nonprofits provide all kinds of services that government agencies simply can’t do. We just need to be clear about what God has called us to as individuals, churches, and denominations. How can we best love God and love our neighbors with the resources we have?

“Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life; whoever comes to Me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in Me shall never thirst’” (John 6:35).

 

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Words of Caution

Reading through the one-chapter book of Obadiah recently, I was struck by this verse: “Do not gloat over the day of your brother in the day of his misfortune; do not rejoice over the people of Judah in the day of their ruin; do not boast in the day of distress” (v. 12). Edom was facing judgment for their sin, which included standing by and watching Judah be destroyed and delighting in their downfall.

Though that specific context may seem remote for us, we can all think of examples of people or groups gloating over the downfall of others. New phrases have been coined to describe “cancel culture” and “social media shaming.” Sadly, such behaviors infect the church as well:

• The political opponent said something wrong? “Why would anyone vote for him?”
• The promiscuous celebrity gets a terminal illness? “They had it coming.”
• The liberal denomination fractures? “It serves them right.”
• The pastor you disagreed with has run into trouble at another church? “It’s about time.”

We’re all guilty to one degree or another, because we’re all infected with sin. We may not say or do anything publicly, but we have all had those thoughts of “I know I’m right and they are just plain wrong. They deserve to be brought down a peg.”

Jesus said in Matthew 12:36, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak [or type].” Why does it matter? “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil” (12:34b-35). Our words reveal our hearts, and yet many of us don’t realize how dark our hearts can be.

Consider just a few verses from the book of Proverbs:

• “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (10:19).
• “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (12:28).
• “The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord, but gracious words are pure” (15:26).
• “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (16:24).
• “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding” (17:27).
• “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (29:20).

Our words can reveal if we are wise or foolish, loving or vengeful, humble or arrogant. Social media has made it far too easy for us to speak without thinking—jumping on the bandwagon of whoever we agree with and degrading those who disagree, regardless of what that may say to the watching world. Are we being lights in a dark world, or are we adding to the darkness by cutting down anyone who doesn’t agree with us on everything? People may stop listening long before we ever talk about Jesus if all they see in our lives is judgmentalism and condemnation. “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:1-3).

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth” (1 Cor. 13:4-6).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Not Your Church

I’ve noticed two unhealthy extremes when it comes to church membership. On one end are those who won’t join a church, and when anything happens that they don’t agree with, they quickly find a new church. On the other end of the spectrum are members who claim ownership of everything related to the church and won’t relinquish control to anyone, even the pastor. This seems particularly true if the church is part of a denomination where pastors are assigned by an outside body and rotated frequently.

For the first person the mindset is “I don’t need to tie myself down to any church. I can go wherever I’m most comfortable.” For the second person it is “This is my church and I will outlast anyone who wants to change it.” I believe God’s response to both people would be “Remember whose church it really is—Mine.” Jesus said, “I will build My church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18). God “put all things under [Christ’s] feet and gave Him as head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all” (Ephesians 1:22-23).

If we are committed first to Jesus’ lordship, we will endeavor to obey His commands, including all the commands that require us to commit to one another in love and fellowship, “that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another” (1 Corinthians 12:24). Those who are inclined to church-hop are a bit like adopted children who only want to be in relationship with their Father and won’t connect with anyone else in the family. While all Bible-believing churches are part of the universal Church, God has given us localized bodies so we can relate to one another on an individual level.

If we are committed to His lordship, we will also obey His command to submit to those in authority over us, including pastors we may not agree with on everything. “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you” (Hebrews 13:17). That’s not to say that pastors and other leaders never make mistakes, but unless it is a doctrinal issue or a legal issue, there should be abundant grace extended. The wise pastor will seek counsel and weigh it carefully to avoid unnecessary conflict.

Christ is still the head of the universal Church and, whether we acknowledge it or not, the head of the local church. It’s not the pastor, not the elder board, not the bishop, not the denomination. Each of those may have some measure of delegated authority, but they are ultimately accountable to Jesus Christ. Much has been said about the increasingly rapid decline of church membership in the West. I believe that is largely due to a faulty understanding of the church. If it is merely a club to which we belong, then we can come and go as we please. But if it is a Body under the headship of Christ, we need to take seriously all the commands from our Head as to how we are to commit to and submit to one another out of love for our Lord.

“And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything He might be preeminent” (Colossians 1:18).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Sparrow

There’s a hymn that, even though I like it in general, the words can tend to rub me the wrong way. “His Eye Is on the Sparrow,” by Civilla D. Martin, says in part:

“Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely
And long for Heav’n and home…

“I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.”

I think the reason the song irritates me is that I know how often I (and all Christians) do get discouraged and lonely and frustrated with life in a broken world. Just telling someone “don’t be discouraged” or “don’t worry—be happy” feels like putting a band-aid on a gaping wound. It is true that Jesus said “Fear not,” and “Do not be anxious,” but I would contend that His words were not intended as a command but as a comfort, because He included encouraging words of God’s love and care for us (e.g. Matt. 6:25-34).

The church has a tendency to admonish the weary and wounded rather than comforting and encouraging them. We sing songs that are upbeat and celebratory, and we’ve lost the language of lament. Words like sorrow, tears, weeping, and mourning occur over 300 times in Scripture. Joy and joyful appear about 200 times in the ESV.

As believers we are called to mourn over sin in our own lives and those we love (2 Cor. 12:21). We should experience sorrow because of death and illness (Phil. 2:27). Suffering is normal for those who desire to live godly lives in an ungodly world (1 Pet. 2:19-21). These things should make us long for our eternal home, where “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 21:4). We grieve now while we hold onto the promise of that eternal hope (1 Thess. 4:13).

There may be times when we lose sight of God’s presence and we get unduly disheartened, and we may need to be reminded that His eye is on us at all times. But we should not be so quick to dismiss the experience of suffering. Faith grows through enduring the hard times, not by escaping from them. It is through faithful endurance that we become fruitful messengers of God’s comfort (2 Cor. 1:3-7).

By all means, sing joyful songs when you are happy, but also join in the songs of lament when those are more appropriate. “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15), and thereby bring help and hope to the hurting.

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them fall will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows” (Matthew 10:29-31).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Promises We Don't Always Believe

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22-23).

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9a).

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10.

But if we’re honest, we don’t always believe that God’s presence and provision are sufficient for what we want or need. We look for His new mercies and we don’t see them, and His grace doesn’t seem to be available for the need at hand. Is God enough when—

• We’re tempted to sin or have already sinned;
• We’re lonely and have no one to talk to;
• We’re trying to make difficult decisions;
• We’re faced with unpleasant circumstances and things we can’t change;
• Those we love are struggling with mental or physical health issues;
• Life is hard and we’re tired of trying to hold things together.

We may believe the truths of Scripture in our heads, but don’t know how to grasp hold of them in daily life. I’d like to say I’ve found the solution, but I haven’t. I can only make a few suggestions that may sometimes help.

1) Study Scripture and memorize the promises God has made there, taking note of the context in which each was made.

2) Remember how God kept His promises to people in Scripture: Abraham, Moses, Joseph, the Israelites, Daniel, etc.

3) Pray those promises. “Lord, You said You would never leave me nor forsake me (Heb. 13:5), but I don’t sense Your presence. Let me see how You are at work today.”

4) Share the burden with a brother or sister in Christ (Gal. 6:2).

We know that God is always faithful to His word, but there are a lot of times in life when we have more questions than answers and we don’t know what God’s greater purposes may be. The fulfillment of some promises and the answers to some prayers may not be evident in this lifetime, but God’s purposes will always prevail. Our role is to grow in faith in Him. “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act” (Psalm 37:5).

“Not one word has failed of all the good things that the Lord your God promised concerning you” (Josh. 23:14b).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Unwanted Blessings

I’ve written before (here) about the frequent use (and misuse) of the word “blessed,” not just among Christians but unbelievers as well. My church is currently working through the beatitudes in Matthew 5, so that has been on my mind. I came across this biblical definition of blessing from Rachel Gilson: “A gift from God; a gift with spiritual meaning and power.” Our problem today is that we automatically associate blessing with health, wealth, relationships, or anything else that makes us feel good. Many Christians have unknowingly adopted a version of the prosperity gospel, but the beatitudes point us in a different direction. What if we rephrased them this way:

“God has gifted the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

God has gifted those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

God has gifted the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

God has gifted those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.

God has gifted the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

God has gifted the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

God has gifted the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

God has gifted those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

God has gifted you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on My account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

What blessings has God bestowed upon us that we don’t recognize because they are painful and unwanted? Or to put it another way, what events or circumstances have spiritual meaning and power in our lives even if they are difficult and unwelcome? Losses can be blessings in disguise because they force us to look to God. The loss of a job makes us notice God’s provision for us. The loss of health makes us rely on God’s strength. The loss of a loved one makes us long for eternal life with Him. Loss of comfort and security makes us look to God for our comfort.

The things that we tend to call blessings are usually things that make us comfortable and content in this life we have now. But God’s blessings are intended to remind us that this broken and sinful world is not our final home and we have work to be doing while we are still here.

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him” (James 1:12).

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ” (Titus 2:11-13).

What blessings from God have equipped us to do His work in this world? Have we grown in compassion because of our suffering? Have we grown in holiness as we’ve faced the consequences of sin? Do we desire to share the gospel with others because we know this world can never really satisfy anyone?

Let’s take time to thank God for His blessings—both wanted and unwanted.

“And behold, I [Jesus] am coming soon. Blessed is the one who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book” (Rev. 22:7).

© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.