I’ve been reading with interest the exchange of posts on complementarianism and egalitarianism on the Advent Christian Voices site. I had written on the subject a few years ago (here), but feel I need to update my blog as my own beliefs have shifted somewhat in recent years, although my prior post is still good.
When I was in college I considered myself an egalitarian, particularly after taking a class at Bethel College (now University) on “Male and Female in Biblical Perspective” in which we had to read a variety of authors including John Piper, Wayne Grudem, and Gilbert Bilezikian. After that class, it was many years before I would read anything by Piper because I thought he was so off-base and biased. As I’ve continued my research over the past two decades, I have come to believe my own conclusions were misguided, and I now consider myself a “reluctant complementarian.” Most recently I read Kevin DeYoung’s new book Men and Women in the Church: A Short, Biblical, Practical Introduction, and I agree with much of what he has written there in support of a complementarian view.
As the contributors to A.C. Voices have illustrated, there are highly educated people who come to vastly different conclusions on what Scripture actually says about women in the church. Readers can find any number of authors to “prove” their position, and I will not specifically address the theology here. So why have I landed in the complementarian camp?
- Most of the complementarian authors I have read seem to provide more solid biblical evidence for their interpretation of Scripture than do egalitarian authors. I’m not an expert on Hebrew and Greek language and culture. Since Scripture is not crystal clear on the subject, the vast majority of us have to rely on the research others have done and sort it out as best we can. Complementarianism appears to me to make the most sense of the hard passages, particularly in the epistles.
- Much of my original egalitarianism was shaped more by experience and by my peers than by Scripture. We live in a fallen world and we’ve all seen abuses of power by men in the church, home, and society, but that doesn’t mean that all men are abusive or domineering. Unfortunately, women can be corrupted by power just as easily as men, and I’ve seen that happen in church settings as well. My change of mind has been influenced by seeing people I love and respect who have modeled their complementarian theology in their homes and churches with grace and compassion. They have shown me that they are not out to “keep me in my place,” but to listen, consider, and find common ground on difficult issues. Where I would naturally distrust men, I am growing in trust.
Why do I call myself a “reluctant” complementarian?
- I know there are churches and mission fields even in my own denomination that have been sustained by women when men have been unavailable, unwilling, or unable to do so. I affirm their faithfulness, but I question whether that was the biblical ideal.
- As with many aspects of gender, I try to imagine what the world was like before the fall and what it will be like after the resurrection. How will we all interact when there is no marriage or reproduction, no need for preaching and teaching, and in the presence of our Creator and Redeemer? What aspects of gender will be real or necessary at that point? How might that then impact how we interact with one another in this life? Perhaps complementarian questions will become moot because all authority will belong to Jesus rather than delegated to other leaders in the church and home.
- I grew up in a generation that said “you can be anything you want,” and it feels a bit like a betrayal of friends and family members to accept or acknowledge limitations of any kind. However, I have to bow to Jesus’ words, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matt. 16:24-25). I’ve had to wrestle with God over issues where I thought His way was unfair or undesirable, and I keep coming to the same conclusion— “He must increase but I must decrease” (John 3:30). It’s not about me doing something because I have the ability or desire, but trusting God to use me wherever and however He sees fit.
What does all this mean for me?
- I would not join a church where women regularly fill the pulpit for the purpose of proclaiming the Word. I would not be comfortable there and I would have trouble submitting to them as my spiritual leaders. I’m on the fence about women in other teaching positions, and it depends a lot on the particular women and circumstances involved.
- I also wouldn't join a church where women have no representation or voice on important decisions. We are equally members of the body and we may have unique insights on issues that need to be heard through both official and unofficial channels. If men hold all the power and refuse to listen to other perspectives, they are not loving the church well.
- I am cautious in reading the works of either the ultra-complementarian or the ultra-egalitarian, as both extremes seem likely to introduce extrabiblical standards of faith and practice.
- There is room in the Body of Christ for differences of opinion on the grey areas of Scripture. Others may come to an egalitarian point of view and lead their local churches in that manner, and that is okay.
I never would have imagined it twenty-five years ago, but this is where I believe God has led me through a wide variety of books, videos, and personal interactions. Some parts of Christian theology are not nearly as black and white as I once believed.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another… And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (Col. 3:12-13, 17).
***
© 2021 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.
