What Can I Say?

I’ve been debating all week what to write. Given the current tensions in our country, I fear saying the wrong thing. I fear offending someone unintentionally because I use the wrong words or don’t know all the facts and experiences of others. But I also fear saying nothing. I don’t want to be seen as complicit in evil because I don’t speak up. I think a lot of people are in the same boat. We want to support our brothers and sisters of other races because we are all made in the image of God, but we just don’t know what to say or do.

I started reading The Peacemaker by Ken Sande, and he makes some good observations on 1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1 (NIV): “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”

“[The] Bible teaches that we should see conflict neither as an inconvenience nor as an occasion to force our will on others, but rather as an opportunity to demonstrate the love and power of God in our lives… This passage encourages us to look at conflict as an opportunity to glorify God, serve others, and grow to be like Christ” (ch. 1).

“Rights are not something you deserve and possess for your own benefit. Rather, they are privileges given to you by God, and he wants you to use them for his glory and to benefit others, especially by helping them to know Christ… Thus, whenever there is a question about your rights, you should ask yourself questions like these:

“‘Will exercising my rights honor God by showing the power of the gospel in my life?’ ‘Will exercising my rights advance God’s kingdom—or will it advance only my interests at the expense of his kingdom?’ ‘Will exercising my rights benefit others?’ ‘Is exercising my rights essential for my own well-being?’” (ch. 4).

The Declaration of Independence and Constitution provide for certain “unalienable rights,” yet we can all point to examples where people have misused their rights and harmed others. The abuse of authority leads to wrongful death. The abuse of free speech breaks hearts and inflames anger. God calls us to a higher standard: “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor… If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:10, 18, 21 ESV). “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person by quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20).

What then can I say? I’d start with “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry that people have abused their power and privileges and have caused harm and even death to your family and friends. I’m sorry that many of us have sat back and watched and not lifted a finger to help. I’m sorry that it has taken this long for me and others like me to even try to understand what you’ve gone through your whole life. I’m sorry for the times I have not spoken up when others have said unkind or untrue things or have been rude and inconsiderate to you. And I’m sorry to the young man I offended when I used a wrong term because I didn’t think how it would be heard by someone from a different background, and thank you for being gracious enough not to react to my ignorance.

I hope you know that many of us want to understand and to do a better job of loving you. We need your help to know what we can say and do to help and not to harm.

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another” (Galatians 5:13-15).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Worthy

The complementarian-egalitarian debate is alive and kicking in some parts of the church. For some reason this area of theology evokes extremely strong opinions from some people on both sides. I suspect that much of the rancor arises because people have been personally wounded by those who disagree. Few subjects in the church seem quite as likely to vilify one’s “opponents.” One blog I read recently gave the impression that egalitarians were being led by the devil.

Perhaps that is why I found Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher’s book, Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women, to be a breath of fresh air. I wasn’t overly familiar with their writings, and I didn’t read the book endorsements, so for the first several chapters of their book I was under the impression that they were going to bring forth an egalitarian argument. I was therefore surprised when they affirmed a complementarian perspective. You might see why I thought that from these quotes:

“We are saying that women—as a sex—are not more sinful than men. Women are not more deceivable than men. Women are not less intelligent than men. Women are not more prone to error than men. Women are not more dangerous than men. Women are not more arrogant or domineering than men. Women are not to be viewed with more suspicion than men. All women are born into sin, unrighteous by both nature and choice—as are all men” (ch. 2).

“What should you see when you see a Christian woman? You should not see a snare, a temptation, and a pitfall. You should not see an object of sexual gratification, a threat to power, or a crafty usurper. You should see a mother and a sister, a family member in the faith. See someone who, regardless of her past, wears the righteousness of Jesus Christ. See someone who God adopted as a child—a fellow heir of the kingdom—someone who is still commissioned to be the necessary help that is needed as we fight against the evil one. See someone who the Spirit of God fills and gifts for service as a blessing to the world, the church, and her home. See a woman who will one day rise from the dead to reign with Jesus forever. Tell her that’s who she is. Tell her the Gospel” (ch. 3).

“What is the significance of women’s presence throughout Jesus’ ministry and especially in the last hours of his life? Women were a marginalized social class. Faith would be expected from one of the Twelve, such as Judas and Peter. But it is the women who followed him without betrayal or denial. The chief priests, the elders, and the high priest of Israel should have recognized their Messiah. But a woman anoints the King. The unexpected, despised, rejected Messiah is followed by unexpected, despised, rejected people. But Jesus does not despise and reject these unexpected disciples. He sees, receives, and affirms them, and promises that they will never be forgotten” (ch. 5).

“A Christian woman’s vocation is simple: make disciples and teach them the truth about the One who has come. That doesn’t mean that women who are gifted and so inclined shouldn’t seek to fulfill this commission in part by raising godly children or loving their spouses in his name. But that particular vocation is no longer primary… Single Christian women no longer have to await motherhood in order to bring others into his covenant people. This shift away from the sole option of motherhood to joining their brothers in disciple-making is seen in part in the change from male circumcision to male and female baptism… Women were shown to be members of the [old] covenant only through their relationship to a circumcised male. But now women are free to enter into the new sign, baptism, whether they are bound to a believing male or not; a woman’s circumcised and baptized Husband has already come” (ch. 11).

However, I’d say one of the best quotes comes from their conclusion:

“As your fellow believers—church members and leaders—wrestle with hard questions, search the Bible, and consider how to faithfully live together as a family of believers; do not view them as enemies. View them as God does—as family. You share the same blood—that of Christ—and the same future. View them as necessary allies, gifts of grace, given by God for your good. You need this Spirit-filled family to sharpen, challenge, and shape you, just as much as they need you.

“Christian faithfulness requires compassion toward Christians who disagree with us. We realize that as sincere Christians go to the Bible to develop their doctrine, we often come away with different, yet Christian convictions. This is why we have paedobaptists and credobaptists. This is why we have congregationalist and elder-ruled churches. This is why we have Christians who serve in the armed forces and those who are conscientious objectors to war. This is why we have complementarians and egalitarians. People who love Jesus, believe the Gospel, and submit to the authority of Scripture, come away from the Bible with differing but sincere convictions.

“We must not shy away from discussion and debate about what the Bible teaches. But we must bear in mind that we hold our differing convictions as members of a larger family. Let us not turn genuine brothers and sisters in the faith into enemies, but remember to show compassion in each disagreement. We are part of a bigger realm, the kingdom of God, in which brothers and sisters disagree as we wait together for our King to come and make us (and our doctrine) perfect… Christian conviction should compel Christian unity, not excuse Christian division. We should strive to stand and serve together to as great an extent as possible with all who confess Jesus Christ as the Son of God who died for our sins and rose from the dead.”

As people of the Book, we can disagree on many things without turning our co-laborers into enemies. We need to remember who the true enemy is. “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against… the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6:12 ESV). Let’s not create more wounds by attacking those within our own eternal family.

“My beloved children, let us not love merely in word or in tongue — Contenting ourselves with complimental expressions of regard, or with giving our Christian brethren nothing but fair speeches; but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18 Benson Commentary).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Family Tree

Our church is beginning a study of the book of Matthew, which opens with the genealogy of Jesus Christ. There is much that could be said about each person listed, but I want to note five people in particular—the five women. Women were not typically included in genealogies at that time, and this genealogy would have been sufficient even without them listed. So Matthew, as inspired by the Holy Spirit, must have had good reason to mention these five names.

Tamar - “Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar” (Matt. 1:3 ESV).

Tamar’s story is found in Genesis 38. She was married to Judah’s son Er who died. By Jewish law she was entitled to go to her brother-in-law Onan so that she could bear a son. Onan refused and God put him to death. Judah promised Tamar she would eventually go to his other son Shelah, but Judah reneged on his promise. Tamar had to find another way to carry on the family line, and she managed to trick Judah into being the father by posing as a prostitute, and thus she bore Perez and Zerah.

This is a bizarre story by modern standards, and yet it points out the fact that God will accomplish His purposes even through the sins of people. Judah and Tamar both made questionable choices, but God carried on the family line of Abraham through them.

Rahab - “Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab” (Matt. 1:5).

The story of Rahab from Joshua 2 and 6 is probably more familiar. She was a prostitute who had her home in the wall of Jericho. When the Israelite spies came into town she hid them and helped them to escape the authorities because “I know that the Lord has given you the land, and that the fear of you has fallen upon us” (Josh. 2:9). From the stories she had heard about the Exodus (which took place 40 years earlier!), she knew enough about God to believe that He was going to overthrow Jericho. When Israel marched around the city and the walls fell, Rahab and her family were saved. Matthew’s reference to her is actually the first in Scripture that indicates her marriage to Salmon. Matthew evidently drew this from other rabbinic teachings.

So we have here another woman who was not only a prostitute but also a foreigner. Israel had been instructed to completely destroy the cities that didn’t make a peace treaty with them (Deut. 20:10-18), but Rahab’s actions and her acknowledgment of the God of Israel saved her life and earned her a place of note in the genealogy of the Messiah.

Ruth - “Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth” (Matt. 1:5).

We probably all know the basics of Ruth’s story. Naomi was living in Moab when her husband and sons all died. Her daughter-in-law Orpah stayed in Moab, but Ruth accompanied Naomi back to the land of Judah. There was no guarantee of a happy ending for Ruth. She was husbandless, childless, and a foreigner. The passage that is often cited at weddings was actually Ruth’s declaration of her love for her mother-in-law, “Where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16). The rest of the book of Ruth tells how she met Boaz and found favor with him and became his wife. Once again God used an unlikely woman from an unlikely place to carry on the lineage of Jesus.

Bathsheba - “David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah” (Matt. 1:6).

Much has been written about David’s sin with Bathsheba. Fewer authors have contemplated Bathsheba’s point of view. When David summoned her to the palace, she would have had no ability to say no to him. It’s not clear whether she knew what was coming or if she had any desire to be unfaithful to Uriah. Like many women, she may have simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time when the king should have been out at the battle instead of walking around his rooftop. Not only does she end up pregnant, but her husband is set up to die in battle, and then her child dies. That’s not exactly a recipe for happiness. However, she then gives birth to Solomon, who bears the royal name, is known for his wisdom, and becomes an ancestor to the coming Messiah. God took a very messy and sinful situation and redeemed it for His own good purposes.

Mary - Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ” (Matt. 1:16).

Finally we get to the mother of Jesus. God had arranged the family trees of both Joseph and Mary. He brought them together in Nazareth and through angelic messengers ensured that Jesus would be born of a virgin as prophesied. Mary was evidently a woman of faith, as her song in Luke 1:46-55 brings together many scriptural references. Yet she too had to bear the pain of people thinking she was both a liar and an adulteress.

In each of these five women, we see evidence of God’s sovereignty over the course of history. He used sinful actions, untimely deaths, wars, mourning, pain, and shame to put people where He wanted them in order to bring about the birth of the Savior at just the right time and place. And through it all, He did not let these women be forgotten or overlooked. In a highly patriarchal culture, He made sure their names were included in the canon of Scripture.

From the beginning of time, God has used both men and women to accomplish His purposes, and He continues to do so today. Women are not merely supplemental to the story, but they have key roles to play in family, culture, and church. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise” (Gal. 3:28-29). Every believer will one day see our names included in the Book of Life, not as ancestors, but as children of the living God.

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Not Good

In his novel Deadline, Randy Alcorn imagines hell as complete isolation, being left alone with just your own thoughts. Quarantine may be a small taste of hell for many of us. Drew Hunter writes in Made for Friendship:

“[We] find that friendlessness isn’t just depressing; it’s actually quite dangerous. When we come unglued from others socially, we come unraveled emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. This is because we’re embodied beings… So when we experience loneliness, it affects every part of us… relationships put us back together. Friendship is the missing medicine for many of our afflictions” (40-41).

God’s statement in creation, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18), was not a result of the Fall but before it. It also did not just refer to the marriage relationship. In His triune nature God is relational, and He made us for relationships as well. Hunter quotes Tim Keller,

“Adam was not lonely because he was imperfect, but because he was perfect. The ache for friends is the one ache that is not the result of sin… This is one ache that is part of his perfection… God made us in such a way that we cannot enjoy paradise without friends.”

Adam had daily access to God walking with him, and yet that was not sufficient.

“Wonderful as are both the presence of the Lord Jesus every day and the prospect of his coming on the last day, they are not intended to be a substitute for human friendships… When our spirit is lonely, we need friends… To admit this is not unspiritual; it is human” (John Stott as quoted by Hunter).

Matthew Stanford writes in Grace for the Afflicted: A Clinical and Biblical Perspective on Mental Illness:

“An active and supportive faith community cultivates life, while isolation beings frustration and fatigue… A strong faith community offers comfort and support, gains wisdom as it learns from one another, shares and upholds common values, strengthens one another, takes risks together, and always looks to encourage one another… The key is staying connected to a few trusted and supportive people, not trying to keep up with the gathering or community events that are wearing them down. Living in community is more about being connected to life-giving relationships than trying to attend events with people a person doesn’t know well” (ch. 15).

The author of Hebrews warns us, “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin… And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 3:13, 10:24-25).

“We can’t experience this everyday encouragement with every person in our church. This command gets traction as we carry it out in smaller networks of relationships—in friendships. In other words, perseverance in the faith requires the practice of friendship. This means that we should view discipleship as a form of friendship. Real discipleship—helping others follow Jesus—happens in the rhythms of everyday life. Discipleship works best when we pursue it in life-on-life relationships” (Hunter 93).

As we’ve all been experiencing varying degrees of isolation during this pandemic, I hope we’re all realizing the value and need of our relationships within the Body of Christ. Like me, you may be discovering which relationships mean the most to you, or perhaps seeing a lack of true friendships that you hadn’t noticed till now. I would challenge all in church leadership to reassess all the programs of their churches and see whether they are contributing to the relational discipleship we all need. How much connection is there between members outside of Sunday morning?

Those who think that online services are just as good if not better than in person services have a very limited view of what the church is or should be. If teaching is all you’re looking for, then there are thousands of good options out there. But teaching is only one part of the biblical prescription for the Body of Christ. “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (Ephesians 4:15-16). We can’t grow up in Christ unless we grow together.

“In [Christ] the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit” (Ephesians 2:21-22).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

In the Face of Faith

At the beginning of his second letter to Timothy, the Apostle Paul wrote, “As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy” (2 Tim. 1:4 ESV). We’re not told what caused Timothy’s tears. Was he sorrowful about being parted from his friend and mentor Paul? Was he anxious about being left in charge of the church in Ephesus? We know he was young (1 Tim. 4:12) and had some ailments that were perhaps exacerbated by stress (1 Tim. 5:23). Judging from the type of instruction that Paul wrote in his letters, Timothy needed some specific guidelines to follow in the ministry. When we’re anxious about something, if someone will clearly outline what needs to be done it helps to ease the fear. There was apparently controversy in the church that probably added to Timothy’s struggles.

Besides addressing the immediate problems and questions Timothy must have had, Paul reminded him of several things in just a few verses:

1) He had been gifted for and appointed to this ministry by God and by Paul himself. “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands” (v. 6).

2) He displayed faith that others could see. “I am reminded of your sincere faith” (v. 5).

3) He was being prayed for by Paul. “I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day” (v. 3).

4) He had access to the same spiritual resources that Paul did. “Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Christ Jesus our Lord” (v. 2). “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (v. 7).

All these things (and many more) contributed to the close relationship that Paul and Timothy had. Although Paul refers to many people as “beloved brothers,” Timothy is the only one he refers to as his “beloved child” (v. 2 and 1 Cor. 4:17). (He refers to Titus as “my true child in the faith.”) No doubt Timothy prized that relationship just as much as Paul did. It appears that Timothy’s father was not a believer (Acts 16:1), so he may well have viewed Paul as his true father. And since Paul was in prison and likely facing death, Timothy was surely concerned about him and what the future might hold.

One particular phrase in this section stands out to me— “I long to see you that I may be filled with joy” (v. 4). The Apostle John used a similar statement in 2 John 12, “Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy maybe complete.” Joy comes in personal interactions with those you love.

I’d be curious to know how perceptions have changed among church members as a result of stay-at-home orders. Are there people you long to see, not just so you can catch up on the news, but so you can find out how God has been working in and through them? Are there people you are praying for night and day that they may be strengthened in the faith? Are you encouraged by the evidence of faith you see in someone’s life?

Recently a friend posted a Facebook video of her son leading a devotional. Even though I haven’t seen this young man in at least a decade, I was filled with joy because of his evident faith. Another friend shared about the joy of listening to her son lead worship online from his bedroom. It brought back memories of hearing kids in our church singing along with the music, seeing them baptized, and taking part in the service in other ways. All of those joys make me long to see that same kind of faith in other young people I know.

As hard as this pandemic has been for all of us, I hope and pray that we are all discovering both the longing we have to be with the Body of Christ and the joy in knowing that others are persevering in the faith. This is what the apostles longed for in each church they established and every believer they knew.

“For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you—that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine” (Rom. 1:11-12).

“But since we were torn away from you, brothers [and sisters], for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face” (1 Thess. 2:17).

“[You] always remember us kindly and long to see us, as we long to see you—for this reason, brothers, in all our distress and affliction we have been comforted about you through your faith. For now we live, if you are standing fast in the Lord. For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God, as we pray most earnestly night and day that we may see you face to face and supply what is lacking in your faith?” (1 Thess. 3:6-10).

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 4).

---

See also Matt Broadway’s brief devotional on 2 Corinthians 7:13-16 “Finding Joy.”

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Continual Praise

The following is something I wrote in my prayer journal this week after reading and being convicted by Psalm 34:1:

“I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.”

When things are going smoothly and I feel blessed,
I will give You praise.

When trouble comes and I need Your helping hand,
I will give You praise.

When days are full of sorrow and pain,
I will give You praise.

When I am lonely and depressed,
I will give You praise.

When loved ones suffer and die,
I will give You praise.

When uncertain times make me anxious,
I will give You praise.

When I don’t know where to turn,
I will give You praise.

When I know I’ve sinned and need Your forgiveness,
I will give You praise.

When weeping endures for the night but joy comes in the morning,
I will give You praise.

For You are the Creator, Redeemed, Healer, Comforter, Savior,
Friend of sinners, Provider, Guide, Counselor, Lord, and soon-coming King.

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Finding Your Way

The book of Ecclesiastes seems to be very apropos for this season in our world. Several verses have stood out to me in my reading this week:

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die… a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance… a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing” (3:1-5 ESV).

 “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun?” (1:2-3).

“Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun” (2:11).

This is a time when many things are being stripped away. Perhaps we are learning what is vain and what really matters. Perhaps we are finding out what actually forms our identity. If we find our meaning in our careers, what happens when we can’t go to work? If our value is in our achievements in education or sports, who are we when we can’t do those things anymore? Even if we find our identity in our relationships, as valuable as those relationships are, where do we turn when we lose them?

It’s not surprising that people turn to drugs, alcohol, pornography, or other addictive behaviors to try to fill the holes or at least numb the sense of loss. We all like to avoid the difficulty of realigning our worldview when everything familiar and comfortable is taken away. It’s painful to discover that the things we placed so much value on can disappear without notice. And most of us have lost multiple things we valued. A video I watched described it as a kind of culture shock. We have to adapt to a new way of life while also mourning the old way.

While many people view religion as a crutch or a fantasy, those of us who do have faith understand it to be a different perspective on reality. While the world focuses on the here and now and each person is looking out for their own interests, we Christians remember that this world is not our permanent home. We look forward to the day when all things will be made new and we’ll no longer have to live in a world broken by sin. We still mourn the things we’ve lost here, but we do not mourn as those who have no hope for eternal life. If this world is indeed all there is then indeed “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die” (1 Corinthians 15:32). But if there is more to come, we should “be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (1 Cor. 15:58).

Will we realign our priorities according to the world’s constantly changing standards or according to God’s standard? Will we find our identity in things that will eventually fall away or in the One who created us and gives us eternal life and value in Christ?

“Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come… and the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it… The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (12:1, 7, 13).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.