What Can I Say?

I’ve been debating all week what to write. Given the current tensions in our country, I fear saying the wrong thing. I fear offending someone unintentionally because I use the wrong words or don’t know all the facts and experiences of others. But I also fear saying nothing. I don’t want to be seen as complicit in evil because I don’t speak up. I think a lot of people are in the same boat. We want to support our brothers and sisters of other races because we are all made in the image of God, but we just don’t know what to say or do.

I started reading The Peacemaker by Ken Sande, and he makes some good observations on 1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1 (NIV): “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”

“[The] Bible teaches that we should see conflict neither as an inconvenience nor as an occasion to force our will on others, but rather as an opportunity to demonstrate the love and power of God in our lives… This passage encourages us to look at conflict as an opportunity to glorify God, serve others, and grow to be like Christ” (ch. 1).

“Rights are not something you deserve and possess for your own benefit. Rather, they are privileges given to you by God, and he wants you to use them for his glory and to benefit others, especially by helping them to know Christ… Thus, whenever there is a question about your rights, you should ask yourself questions like these:

“‘Will exercising my rights honor God by showing the power of the gospel in my life?’ ‘Will exercising my rights advance God’s kingdom—or will it advance only my interests at the expense of his kingdom?’ ‘Will exercising my rights benefit others?’ ‘Is exercising my rights essential for my own well-being?’” (ch. 4).

The Declaration of Independence and Constitution provide for certain “unalienable rights,” yet we can all point to examples where people have misused their rights and harmed others. The abuse of authority leads to wrongful death. The abuse of free speech breaks hearts and inflames anger. God calls us to a higher standard: “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor… If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all… Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:10, 18, 21 ESV). “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person by quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20).

What then can I say? I’d start with “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry that people have abused their power and privileges and have caused harm and even death to your family and friends. I’m sorry that many of us have sat back and watched and not lifted a finger to help. I’m sorry that it has taken this long for me and others like me to even try to understand what you’ve gone through your whole life. I’m sorry for the times I have not spoken up when others have said unkind or untrue things or have been rude and inconsiderate to you. And I’m sorry to the young man I offended when I used a wrong term because I didn’t think how it would be heard by someone from a different background, and thank you for being gracious enough not to react to my ignorance.

I hope you know that many of us want to understand and to do a better job of loving you. We need your help to know what we can say and do to help and not to harm.

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another” (Galatians 5:13-15).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Thoughts from Family Camp

In Bible study at Family Camp we're discussing Max Lucado's book Before Amen, and Tuesday we were on the phrase of the pocket prayer, "I need help." Part of the discussion centered around the times when Jesus stopped to help someone because they asked. I was reminded of one of my prior blogs in which I stated that Jesus never saw people as an interruption to His ministry, because they were His ministry. 

Thinking about it later, I realized that two thoughts frequently run through my mind. The first comes when I am feeling weak and needy and wanting to talk to someone, but I think, "I don't want to interrupt them when they have so many other people to help and tasks to complete, so I'll keep it to myself." That's probably not always the wisest of decisions. 

The second recurring thought comes when someone wants to chitchat when I'm busy: "Why is this person interrupting me when I am clearly in the middle of something?" I know that's not a terribly loving response either. (An interruption came as I wrote that sentence.) 

I guess it is pretty selfish to want others to meet my needs while I don't want to do the same. A refresher course on Jesus's perspective of people is in order. All people have value, and all people have needs. We all need someone to talk to, but we also need to be listeners for others. We all need wise counsel at times, and we can provide counsel for others in different areas of life. We all need to be loved, and we all need to give love. We shouldn't downplay our own needs out of some sense of being a burden to others. But neither should we refuse those who inconvenience us. Interruptions may be divine appointments. 

One of the cultural difficulties that seems to be increasing over time is the specialization of professions. The more we learn about the human body, the harder it is to find the correct doctor to deal with a problem. You can be sent to five different specialists and never get an answer. 

The same seems to be happening in the church. First came the clergy-laity divide, and now we have a different minister for every age group or area of need. A person can know they need help but not know where to turn to find answers or even to find someone willing to listen to them and pray for them. I don't think that's how God intended His Body to function. I know I've said it before and I'll say it again--we all have roles to play and we all need each other. I'm certain that pastors would not be so over-scheduled if the members of the Body were all doing their part. 

Humility is the key. It takes humility to admit that I need help myself, but it also takes humility to remember that my agenda is not more important than someone else's. That's just lesson out of many during this week of camp. 

1 Peter 5:6 (ESV)- "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you."