Christian Geeks Unite

Monday, October 14, 2019

Failure, Regret and Forgiveness

The salesperson was pushy and persistent. They wouldn’t take no for an answer and wouldn’t leave me alone. On that last phone call I snapped. It felt justified. My time was being used, my work interrupted, and my answer was being ignored. I felt disrespected and out of control of the conversation. But almost as soon as I slammed the phone down the guilt and regret came. I should have been much more polite. I could have asked why they thought they knew our needs better than I did. I could have turned it around and tried to sell them the gospel instead. There were probably hundreds of better responses than what I gave in the spur of the moment.

I did confess to God and ask His forgiveness, but the situation keeps coming to mind again and again. The enemy keeps trying to shame me with my failure. It has resurfaced multiple times as I’ve been reading Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth’s book Lies Women Believe. A few of the lies she addresses are:

“It’s not my fault!”
“I can’t control my emotions.”
“I can’t help how I respond when my hormones are out of whack.”
“If my circumstances were different, I would be different.”
“I just can’t take any more.”

The truth is, we always have a choice in how we respond to situations. No one and nothing can cause us to sin apart from our own decision to do so, no matter how quickly that decision gets made sometimes. “We know that our old self was crucified with [Christ] in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin… Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:6-7, 13 ESV).

Wolgemuth writes, “[W]hether we choose to believe it or not, if we are God’s children, the Truth is that His grace really is sufficient for us… That is the Truth with which you and I must perpetually counsel our hearts:

When I’m exhausted and think I can’t possibly face the unfinished tasks that are still before me, His grace is sufficient for me…
When I’m having a hard time responding to that family member or that person at the office who really gets under my skin, His grace is sufficient for me.
When I’m tempted to vent my frustration by speaking harsh words, His grace is sufficient for me…
When I blow it with my family and become uptight and short-tempered, His grace is sufficient for me…” (266-267).

And I would add, when I’ve failed and have then asked God to forgive me, His grace is sufficient for me. He has promised, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Even though I may feel guilty and unforgiven, that is not true. God has done what He promised through the blood of Christ. My job is to accept it, remember it, and use that truth to refute the lies that I am a failure, condemned, and hopeless.

I’m still far from perfect, but I am a child of God, slowly being conformed into the image of His Son. When He returns I’ll reflect His image perfectly, but for now I’m dependent on His abundant grace and mercy to make it through each day.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Friday, October 11, 2019

Imperfect Peace

In the sermon last Sunday at our church, we were asked, “What is one promise of God that, if you really believed it, would make a huge difference in your life?” Almost immediately the passage that came to my mind was Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV),

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Not too surprisingly, the message I listened to on Truth For Life that afternoon was based on 1 Peter 5:6-7,

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.”

I’m sure I’m not the only one who would say that the promise of the peace of God is one that we want to believe but often don’t. We do one of two things—we hold onto the situation and worry over it like a dog with a bone, or we give it to God but keep retrieving it from Him. It feels easier to keep worrying about the problem than to trust that God will take care of it in His own perfect way and time.

I was reminded of a hymn by Advent Christian author Francis A. Blackmer. It’s one that I dislike because I think it paints an unrealistic picture of the Christian life. The first two verses say:

Once I thought I walked with Jesus, yet such changeful feelings had,
Sometimes trusting, sometimes doubting, sometimes joyful, sometimes sad.

But He called me closer to Him, bade my doubts and fears all cease,
And when I had fully yielded, filled my soul with perfect peace.

Refrain: O the peace my Savior gives, peace I never knew before!
And my way has brighter grown since I learned to trust Him more.

That’s a nice thought, but I don’t think anyone consistently experiences “perfect peace” for the duration of their Christian life, and a lack of peace is not necessarily an indicator that one is not walking with Jesus. As Alistair Begg commented, “Any of us this morning who were prepared to say that we are not anxious at any point in our lives are probably in need of some significant help.” Anxiety is a normal part of our experience. (Hence CCEF is hosting a national conference on “Anxiety and the God of Peace” this week). However, it should not be an overwhelming and unchanging experience for the Christian. We have a God who loves us and who cares for all the details of our lives. He knows our needs better than we do ourselves, and He alone is sovereign over all the aspects of our lives. We can throw our anxieties on His back and stop carrying them ourselves. And we can keep bringing them back to Him every time we realize we’ve picked them up again—day by day, hour by hour, or minute by minute.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3). We lack perfect peace because we don’t (and can’t) keep our minds focused on God at all times. We are easily distracted by events, circumstances, people, and busyness, but God is always faithful even when we forget. His peace is available each time we remember to turn our attention back to Him.

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved” (Psalm 55:22).

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

The Mundane Middle

I used to think that “midlife crisis” was simply a made-up term, but I’m changing my mind as I find myself there. It may be different for other people, but here are some things I’ve been wrestling with lately. There are no new milestones ahead. We grow up anticipating birthdays, school terms, graduations, marriage, career, etc., but we reach a point where things are settled into a fairly unchanging routine. Those who have children have an extra set of milestones to plan for, but the rest of us do not. There are slight variations in the routine from month to month, but the years ahead look very much like the years just past. And they stretch out like an unending parade into the future.

Routine can be comfortable, but it can also be boring. I can see why people might quit their jobs, buy cars, or do something else to shake things up. The options are more limited for those of us who are committed to a particular ministry, church, or location. There may be new hobbies to try (if you are so inspired) or places to go (if you have money and desire to travel), but what else? You can only read so many books or watch so much TV.

As I was thinking about these things, it occurred to me that there are a lot of time gaps in Scripture. Consider the time Israel spent wandering in the wilderness before entering the Promised Land. We know it was forty years and we know a few of the events during that time, but all the stops of their journey are summarized very briefly in Numbers 33. What occupied their time all the rest of the days? They had forty years of collecting manna six days a week. Forty years of feeding their families and caring for their herds. Forty years of checking to see if the pillar of fire or the cloud was going to move. Forty years of gathering together for worship or for funerals. In short, forty years of routine activities.

There are many other silent periods as well. More than 900 years of Adam’s life. Moses’s years tending sheep. Almost thirty years of the life of Christ. We probably have more detail about the life and travels of the Apostle Paul than anyone else in Scripture. But what were Peter and John doing during that same time? Life is usually pretty routine for most people most of the time.

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12 ESV). Alistair Begg commented on this verse,

“You see, this is not a mathematical request. This is not the psalmist saying, ‘Help me to count.’ You know, ‘Help me to know that Tuesday comes after Monday… and to multiply it by the number of years I’ve lived,’ and so on. No, he’s not saying that. It’s not even an actuarial request. He’s not suggesting here that somehow or another he might be brought to understand and calculate the statistics of survival. No, the key word is ‘aright’… What he is saying, when you read the whole psalm, is this: ‘Teach me to go through my life estimating time in light of eternity.’ ”

It seems in our culture that we measure the value of our lives by our accomplishments. And when there are no major achievements to record, life can feel monotonous and even purposeless. We don’t handle boredom well, and silence is practically unheard of. (No pun intended.) Kids grow up thinking that life will be full of constant entertainment and excitement, and they are unprepared for the realities of a working life. Job-hopping is becoming more common and more frequent, with the average tenure at a job being less than five years.

So what do we do when life becomes mundane? We can start with the prayer from Psalm 90:12, “Teach us to number our days,” asking God to help us evaluate our daily lives from an eternal perspective. It may be that some change is needed if our current priorities don’t align with His. But assuming that is not the case, we can move on to verse 14, “Satisfy us in the morning with Your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.” Perhaps we need to cultivate a heart of gratitude by taking time each day to remember some of the ways God has blessed us. Or maybe we can challenge ourselves and others to dig deeper in God’s Word, to memorize Scripture, and to invest more time in prayer. Setting new goals is one way to press forward and not to settle for the status quo. We can also look for small ways that we can serve and bless others in our church or community. If we’re going to spend eternity relating to God and to those who are members of His Body, we might as well practice that now.

“For a thousand years in Your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night… The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone as we fly away… Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!” (Psalm 90:4, 10, 17).

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Watch Your Mouth

I observed something the other day about the way people tend to interact with one another. Since then I’ve come to see that it’s much more widespread than I had originally thought, and I’m as guilty as anyone else. What I observed is that people often don’t say what they are really thinking if there’s any chance it will create conflict. However, many of those same people will then tell someone else about it in the form of a complaint. It may be something like,

“Yes, I’d be glad to keep the nursery today…” “Why am I always stuck with the nursery?!”
“I’ll do whatever I can to help…” “This sure is a dumb plan!”

Such superficial agreement, while intended as a peacekeeping measure, often becomes a front for grumbling and gossip. How many marriages have been broken when wives are outwardly compliant but inwardly resentful? Certainly there are times when we have to do things we’d rather not do, and times that we need to keep our opinions to ourselves, but if we’re doing it simply to avoid having a real conversation we’ve got a bigger problem. Jesus reminded His listeners, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil” (Matthew 5:37 ESV; see also James 5:12).

Sharon Hodde Miller commented in “Why Niceness Weakens Our Witness,”

“Niceness is concerned with the appearance of goodness and not the reality of it. It gives the facade of serving others but exists primarily to serve ourselves. In the end, niceness only makes us into ‘whitewashed tombs’ (Matt. 23:27)—pristine on the outside but empty within.”

Niceness keeps us from telling others the truth, confronting sin, or proclaiming the gospel to a lost and dying world. Miller refers to this as idolatry. It could also be called the fear of man. Somehow we’ve equated our Christian witness with always telling people what they want to hear. Elliot Clark wrote,

“For some time now, American Christians have conceived of their witness in terms of ‘sharing the gospel’… However, if by ‘sharing’ we imply a kind of charity where we only give the gospel to willing recipients, then our Christian vernacular has become a problem… Throughout the Book of Acts, we find repeated examples of authoritative witness—even in the face of suffering—from the apostles and early church. We find them proclaiming the gospel and speaking boldly.”

Although the Apostle Paul wrote that we are to be “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15), it seems like most of us prefer “veiling the truth for love.” We choose not to say something even when we know we should, just because it is easier to keep silent. There are plenty of biblical examples of people who had to say things they would rather not. In 2 Samuel 7, Nathan had to tell King David that he couldn’t build the Temple. If he had kept his mouth shut, David would have disobeyed God’s command. Then in chapter 12 Nathan had to confront David for his sin with Bathsheba. I’m sure that he did so with great trepidation. Jonah used all his ingenuity to try to avoid telling Ninevah that judgment was coming, and he suffered greatly for his choices. Peter and John had the option of keeping silent about Jesus as they had been commanded, but their response was “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard” (Acts 4:19-20).

It may be that you’ve been reminded of times when your words haven’t agreed with your thoughts and beliefs. I know I have. We should ask ourselves why that is the case. Was it truly out of love or was it some form of niceness to avoid ruffling any feathers? Was it displaying God’s image or preserving our own image? Was it intended to build up the Body of Christ and promote peace with God, or to maintain a superficial peace among men?

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25).

For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts” (1 Thessalonians 2:3-4).

Thursday, September 19, 2019

The Right Harvest

Have you ever read a familiar Scripture and suddenly realized you’ve never really paid attention to it before? That happened to me this week with 2 Corinthians 9:10 (ESV):

“He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness.”

In the context of the chapter, it’s easy to focus on the ideas of giving and tithing and to overlook the last few words. One commentary notes, “Righteousness shall be itself the reward, even as it is the thing rewarded.” Do we really believe that righteousness is a desirable reward, or are we interested only in more tangible rewards? Are we working to cultivate righteousness? The prophet Hosea wrote, “Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; break up your fallow ground, for it is the time to seek the Lord, that He may come and rain righteousness upon you” (Hosea 10:12). Righteousness does not grow where it is not cultivated.

As I think about some of the challenges of life in the world today, perhaps we’ve been asking the wrong questions at times.

Not “what is legal,” but “what would contribute to righteousness?”
Not “how can we protect our children,” but “how can we teach them to love righteousness?”
Not “how can I avoid sin,” but “how can I develop a greater desire for righteousness?”

If the pursuit of righteousness were our first priority, how might that influence our daily choices? I’m always convicted when I read Psalm 101:3a, “I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.” There are plenty of worthless things all around us. We could resolve not to look at any form of media, but avoidance is not necessarily the same as seeking righteousness and holiness. (Here’s an article that differentiates these two similar terms.) We can also do all kinds of religious activities without having any real interest in righteousness. I fear that the modern church often contributes to religiosity and self-righteousness without relationship to God.

If I’m honest, most days I’m more concerned with doing my job to the best of my ability and simply surviving another day or week or year. If someone asked, “What are we here for?” I would probably say something about glorifying God, but I wouldn’t even think about cultivating righteousness. And yet Jesus said, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). I suspect most of us are more interested in “all these things” than we are in the kingdom of God and His righteousness. For many people, the image of eternal life is more about our own hobbies and pleasures than it is about the promise of “new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells” (2 Peter 3:12).

The Apostle John reminded his readers, “Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as He is righteous… Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God” (1 John 3:7, 10). Thankfully, the practice of righteousness does not depend on our perfect obedience to the law, because we are incapable of doing that. We receive the righteousness of Christ (imputed righteousness), and we live it out by the power of the Holy Spirit (progressive righteousness). John Piper said,

“[We] can’t make any progress in practical, lived-out righteousness until we are accepted by God, forgiven for our sins, and declared to be perfectly righteous with the imputed righteousness of God in Christ. That’s tremendously important to see because it means that the effort that we make by faith through the Holy Spirit to put to death sins and become more and more practically righteous is not the basis of our right standing with God. It is the consequence or effect of our right standing with God.

How do we pursue righteousness? It’s not by trying harder to avoid sin, but by nurturing our relationship with God. The more we get to know and love Him, the more we will desire to please Him. We will seek His power to overcome temptation, and we’ll become more sensitive to the Spirit’s leading in our lives. None of that can happen apart from the spiritual disciplines of Bible reading, prayer, and involvement with the Body of Christ. We become Christians by simply accepting what Christ has done for us, but it takes a lifelong process to be transformed by the renewal of the mind and to be conformed to the image of Christ (see Romans 8:29 and 12:1-2).

May we never be satisfied with a faith that doesn’t cause us to change and grow, but may we seek a harvest of righteousness for the glory of God.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied” (Matthew 5:6).

Friday, September 6, 2019

Not Just the Facts

James Clear wrote, “In many circumstances, social connection is actually more helpful to your daily life than understanding the truth of a particular fact or idea… We don't always believe things because they are correct. Sometimes we believe things because they make us look good to the people we care about… The way to change people’s minds is to become friends with them, to integrate them into your tribe, to bring them into your circle. Now, they can change their beliefs without the risk of being abandoned socially.”

Whether he intended so or not, his observations have profound implications for the Church. How often have we heard, “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care”? And yet we often don’t practice what we preach. We think that people will be won to our point of view simply because we rehearse the facts with increasing frequency and volume. For some people, this seems to be their only purpose for using social media. (Those are the ones I hide from my Facebook feed.) It doesn’t matter if the subject is politics, education, abortion, or the gospel, we’ve forgotten that relationships trump truth almost every time.

Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 12:37-40 ESV). He didn’t say, “Love God and preach the truth.” As important as the truth of God is, “teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matt. 28:18-20) is subordinate to loving others. Making disciples has to flow from a heart of love for others. The Apostle Paul wrote, “So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (1 Thess. 2:8).

If we were to focus more effort on loving others well, more people might be drawn to believe what we believe. That’s not to say that we never state the truth, but that there’s rarely anything to be gained by hammering someone over the head with it. More hearts are changed by walking alongside others than by getting in their faces. Recently I was reading part of Jesus’ teaching, and it made a big difference when I imagined it not as a lecture, but as a friend drawing close and giving counsel to His friends. A lecture is either information that can be ignored or condemnation that puts us on the defensive. But loving counsel is something to be seriously considered and heeded.

Rosaria Butterfield has shared in her books and this video how it was “radically ordinary hospitality” from a Christian couple that led her to leave the LGBT community and become a Christian. “They didn’t see me as a project, but they saw me as a neighbor… It’s God who saves. It’s not about us being perfect, or our words being perfect. But show up, we must, in the lives of unbelievers… Hospitality, biblically speaking, takes strangers and makes them neighbors. It takes neighbors and makes them family of God.”

I think churches tend to overestimate their friendliness and underestimate the amount of time it takes to build strong relationships with people. If young adults truly felt loved and valued in their churches, they wouldn’t be nearly so quick to drift away. It really was different when the church was the center of the community and everyone knew their neighbors because they saw each other almost every day. Those relationships were a natural outgrowth of time spent together. Today we spend an hour together once or twice a week and think that is sufficient to build a strong community bond. We settle for “friending” people on Facebook rather than loving them as our neighbors, and then we wonder why no one wants to become a Christian or to join the church. Have they truly experienced the love of God through us? Have we offered them our very lives, or just the facts?

“By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Keep Eternity in View

I was listening to a Family Life Today podcast the other day in which a speaker said, “I want you to introduce yourselves; but you can’t say what you’ve done, who you’re married to, or accomplishments that you’ve had in your life.” How hard would that be for some of us? We tend to define ourselves by our relationships and our activities. In a different setting, the question was asked, “What is one thing you couldn’t live without?” The answers given tended to be a spouse or parent. We’re on shaky ground if we define ourselves or weigh our lives by any temporal thing. Jobs will end, family members will die, health will fail, and abilities will fade. How might our lives look different if we clung to what is eternally true instead of what is passing away?

If we keep an eternal perspective, we won’t expect people to be something they’re not. No spouse can meet all our needs for love and support. No child can fulfill all our dreams for them. No pastor or teacher has perfect wisdom and counsel. No friend can be available at all times. Only God is perfectly loving, wise, powerful, and present. “For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him” (Col. 1:16 ESV).

If we keep an eternal perspective, we won’t expect earthly pursuits to satisfy us. No job feels enjoyable and purposeful every day. No entertainment can give us lasting pleasure. “And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil… and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun” (Eccl. 2:10-11).

If we keep an eternal perspective, we won’t be crushed by life’s losses. Death, pain, unemployment, divorce, and disease all lose their sting when viewed from eternity. They may hurt for a time, but “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 21:4), and nothing “will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:39).

If we keep an eternal perspective, we need not worry about the things of this life. Our greatest needs have been met in Christ. The judgments are man are meaningless when we are accepted by God. The risks of death are minor compared to eternal life. “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? …But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matt. 6:25, 33)

Our purpose is to glorify God. We don’t have to look to a spouse, children, a career, or even a specific ministry to give us purpose. We can glorify Him through the seemingly mundane things of life as we seek His will and follow Him day by day. As God’s beloved children, we know we have eternal security, hope, purpose, and joy in Christ alone.

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:1-3).