Failure, Regret and Forgiveness

The salesperson was pushy and persistent. They wouldn’t take no for an answer and wouldn’t leave me alone. On that last phone call I snapped. It felt justified. My time was being used, my work interrupted, and my answer was being ignored. I felt disrespected and out of control of the conversation. But almost as soon as I slammed the phone down the guilt and regret came. I should have been much more polite. I could have asked why they thought they knew our needs better than I did. I could have turned it around and tried to sell them the gospel instead. There were probably hundreds of better responses than what I gave in the spur of the moment.

I did confess to God and ask His forgiveness, but the situation keeps coming to mind again and again. The enemy keeps trying to shame me with my failure. It has resurfaced multiple times as I’ve been reading Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth’s book Lies Women Believe. A few of the lies she addresses are:

• “It’s not my fault!”
• “I can’t control my emotions.”
• “I can’t help how I respond when my hormones are out of whack.”
• “If my circumstances were different, I would be different.”
• “I just can’t take any more.”

The truth is, we always have a choice in how we respond to situations. No one and nothing can cause us to sin apart from our own decision to do so, no matter how quickly that decision gets made sometimes. “We know that our old self was crucified with [Christ] in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin… Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:6-7, 13 ESV).

Wolgemuth writes, “[W]hether we choose to believe it or not, if we are God’s children, the Truth is that His grace really is sufficient for us… That is the Truth with which you and I must perpetually counsel our hearts:

• When I’m exhausted and think I can’t possibly face the unfinished tasks that are still before me, His grace is sufficient for me…
• When I’m having a hard time responding to that family member or that person at the office who really gets under my skin, His grace is sufficient for me.
• When I’m tempted to vent my frustration by speaking harsh words, His grace is sufficient for me…
• When I blow it with my family and become uptight and short-tempered, His grace is sufficient for me…” (266-267).

And I would add, when I’ve failed and have then asked God to forgive me, His grace is sufficient for me. He has promised, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Even though I may feel guilty and unforgiven, that is not true. God has done what He promised through the blood of Christ. My job is to accept it, remember it, and use that truth to refute the lies that I am a failure, condemned, and hopeless.

I’m still far from perfect, but I am a child of God, slowly being conformed into the image of His Son. When He returns I’ll reflect His image perfectly, but for now I’m dependent on His abundant grace and mercy to make it through each day.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23).

© 2019 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.