Christian Geeks Unite

Tuesday, March 21, 2023

How Do I Love Thee?

Most folks are probably aware of Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, The Five Love Languages and its sequels. He lists five primary ways in which people give and receive expressions of love: 1) words of affirmation, 2) acts of service, 3) gifts, 4) quality time, and 5) physical touch. I ran across a couple articles recently that got me thinking about that again.

The author of the first article had done an informal survey which showed that most people receive or experience love most through quality time, but give mostly through acts of service. I’d say that is true for me as well. But it made me wonder—if most of us want quality time with the people we love, why is it that we don’t actually do that very well or very frequently? The answer, of course, is busyness. We are either too busy, or we think that others are too busy, so we don’t make the effort to find that time together that we desire. And I think that also points to why we offer love through acts of service as well, because at some level we think “Maybe I can’t spend time with that person right now, but I can do something for them. And if I do something for them, maybe it will allow time and opportunity for quality time together.” The other languages of gifts, touch, and words of affirmation seem more fleeting, and therefore less valuable.

That brings me to the second article, David Powlison’s critique of the book. He raises several good points, but perhaps the biggest problem we all deal with is that we can become entirely self-centered in pursuit of what we think we need from others. I can certainly attest to that. When I don’t get the personal interaction I think I need, I can become snarky, suspicious of others, and judgmental. It irritates me when the only conversations I have some days consist almost entirely of “Good morning” and “See you tomorrow.” I forget about endeavoring to love others regardless of whether I feel loved or not. Powlison points out,

“Chapman… exalts the observation that ‘even tax collectors, gentiles, and sinners love those who love them’ (Matt. 5:46f; Luke 6:32ff) into his guiding principle for human relationships… Fallenness not only brings ignorance about how best to love others; it brings a perverse unwillingness and inability to love. It ingrains the perception that our lusts are in fact needs, empty places inside where others have disappointed us… Chapman never deals with the fact that even desires for good things can still be evil desires in God’s analysis of what makes us tick.”

Ouch! How often are our desires sinfully motivated? How often do our words and actions try to manipulate others for our own benefit? Even something good like writing sermons (or blog posts!) can become opportunities to exalt self and to point the finger at those who don’t measure up to our standards.

While it can be helpful to understand human perceptions and desires so that we can communicate love in ways that others will appreciate, our efforts need to be shaped first and foremost by Scripture. Love includes giving sacrificially to those in need, extending hospitality, embracing others, and encouraging the weak and weary. But it also includes confronting sin, saying no to lesser gods, and sometimes disfellowshipping the unrepentant. We are even called to “love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return” (Luke 6:35), knowing that our reward comes not from mankind but from our Father in heaven.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35).

Thursday, March 16, 2023

Our Father

This past Sunday our church focused on the Lord’s Prayer as found in Luke 11 and Matthew 6. Most Christians probably have it memorized and recite it somewhat regularly. But have you ever thought about the fact that it uses plural pronouns throughout? It is “our Father,” not “my Father,” yet it is easy to forget that. It’s not wrong to personalize the prayer, but that is not how Jesus gave it to His disciples.

“Our Father in heaven” is a reminder that we are all part of the same family for eternity, and we have responsibility for one another’s spiritual growth and wellbeing. Together we are to be pursuing God’s will “on earth as it is in heaven” so that the Church will bring honor to His holy name. We need to pray for, encourage, equip, edify, and “exhort one another every day… that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:13).

“Give us this day our daily bread” is a reminder that we are to help provide for one another’s physical needs. As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 8:14, “Your abundance at the present time should supply their need, so that their abundance may supply your need, that there may be fairness.” And beyond our physical needs, we have relational needs for fellowship with one another. Jennie Allen has made the comment that throughout history and still in much of the world today, meals are a communal affair, where villages gather together around the same cooking fire. In Western culture, we may struggle just to get a small family to sit down together for one meal per day, and then we wonder why we all feel so disconnected and alone. We were meant to live as “we,” not as “me.”

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” is a challenge both individually and collectively. We see in the news how church leaders have abused their authority in various ways. That puts great strain on the church body that has to be worked through. (And for the record, forgiveness of serious abuses does not mean those people should be restored to positions of authority in any church!) At the same time, there are many smaller transgressions between members of the body that can create hard feelings. Whether it is gossip, criticism, lack of support during a time of need, conflicting priorities, or simply differing personalities, we are called to work together “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:2-3).

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” Besides the ‘one anothers’ already mentioned, we also need to be praying regularly for God’s direction and protection for our local church. It is easy for churches to get sidetracked with lesser things and forget about our commission to “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matt. 28:19-20). We have an enemy who loves to tempt us off the narrow road so that we become ineffective for the Kingdom of God.

We were challenged Sunday to pray the Lord’s Prayer each evening as one step toward unity in our body. May this be a reminder that we aren’t simply seeking the individual blessings of provision, protection, and forgiveness, but that we are all in this together as children of the same Father, working together for the same purpose, and helping one another along the way.

“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Rom. 15:5-6).

Thursday, March 9, 2023

Belonging

Recently I was listening to a podcast from a Christian source talking about LGBTQ labels and identities. Although I disagreed with some of what was said, it did make me think more broadly about the desire of every human being to find a sense of belonging. We all want to feel that we are loved, accepted, and appreciated, but sometimes we look in the wrong places for that community. Our children and youth are subjected to an increasing number of identity “options,” as well as peer pressure to declare their chosen labels (although some change frequently!). Things were a bit simpler back in my school days when there were just a few cliques based on activities and not usually based on personalities, preferences, and attractions. We all knew that once we graduated most of those groups would disappear.

As Christians, we should be the people who are most comfortable with our identities and community—after all, we belong to the God who created the universe, who made us in His image and adopted us into His eternal family through faith in Jesus Christ. Our core identity as children of God doesn’t change. “You also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to Him who has been raised from the death, in order that we may bear fruit for God” (Rom. 7:4).

In practice, however, many Christians still struggle with feelings of alienation, shame, and rejection. Churches tend to adopt certain standards of what a good Christian or a godly man or woman should look like, and whether we realize it or not, often those standards are based more on conservative culture than on biblical definitions. Some of us may feel like we don’t quite fit in if we look a little different, have different interests, or struggle with certain temptations that are deemed taboo to even talk about. We’re all sinners covered by the mercy and grace of God.

It’s often been said that Sunday morning is the most segregated time of the week. This isn’t just true of race, but of other characteristics as well. Some folks church-hop until they find one where everyone is just like them. Some churches segregate the ages into different groups. Churches separate themselves theologically based doctrinal distinctives. There’s a cowboy church down the road. You name it, there’s probably a church for it.

And yet every true believer is part of the same family, united under the headship of Christ and supposedly pursuing the same mission. What would it take for us to focus more on what we have in common in Christ than on the traits that separate us from other believers? How might we remind one another that we do belong together, even though we are each unique in many ways? I don’t have the answers, but I know that we adults need assurance that we are loved and accepted just as much as our kids do.

“In every nation anyone who fears Him and does what is right is acceptable to Him” (Acts 10:35). “I… urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called… eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:1-2).

Friday, March 3, 2023

Three Tenses

Sometimes it is awkward belonging to a denomination that has never taken a stance on certain theological issues. One such issue is Calvinism (Reformed) vs. Arminianism. I hold firmly to the Reformed tradition, but I refuse to engage in debates with people who disagree with me. (Hence, I deleted a recent email criticism I received.) I listen to a few different podcasts from Reformed churches and theologians, and they often quote:

“We have been saved from the penalty of sin (justification); we are being saved from the power of sin (sanctification); we shall be saved from the presence of sin (glorification).”

Scripture uses all three tenses of the verb “save.” To say that salvation only becomes “real” at the final judgment for those who “endure to the end” (Matt. 24:13), is to miss out on all the nuances of language and the blessings of salvation in this life.

“Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned” (Mark 16:16).
“For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Cor. 1:18).
“[God], who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of His own purpose and grace, which He gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began” (2 Tim. 1:9).

The book of Ephesians may be my favorite part of the Bible because it reminds us of all that God did to save us. He chose us before the foundation of the world. He made us alive when we were dead in our sins. He saved us by grace, not by our works. Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, He did all that was necessary to make us acceptable to God. We can add nothing to our salvation. All we can do is try to live out what is already true of us.

I find it encouraging to remember that since there is nothing I did to earn my salvation then there is nothing I can do to lose it. I chose to follow Him because He first chose me. I love Him because He first loved me.

Some people ask, “What about people who turn away after having professed faith in Christ?” My question would be who or what was their faith based on? They may be turning away from some form of cultural Christianity, vague “believism,” or something else. We can’t read another person’s heart, though God can. I believe that those whom God has chosen and saved will be enabled to endure to the end, and those who don’t remain were never truly saved to begin with.

Folks can argue Reformed vs Arminianism if they like, but I will not be convinced because “I know Whom I have believed, and I am convinced that He is able to guard until that day what has been entrusted to me” (2 Tim. 1:12b).

“Even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption to Himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will” (Eph. 1:4-5).

Monday, February 20, 2023

Behold Our God

You may have seen the recent news stories about revival at Asbury University. I hope and pray this is true revival and has lasting impact on all those involved. It reminded me of a similar event during my years at Bethel College (now University). We received word of revival experiences at other Christian colleges. A number of our students decided we would gather to pray for revival at Bethel. I won’t go into any details, but suffice it to say that the results were less than spectacular.

Here’s the thing—we can’t manufacture revival. We can hold “revival services,” we can pray for revival (and we should), we can play great worship music, but we can’t force God to do anything. There is a tendency among Christians to think that if we meet certain criteria, God is obligated to do what we want Him to do. For example, how many times has 2 Chronicles 7:14 been taken out of context:

“If My people who are called by My name humble themselves, and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

Certainly all churches should be pursuing humility, praying, seeking God, and repenting from sin. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’ll see a visible movement of the Spirit in changing the multitudes, nor does it mean that He will somehow convert our nation into a God-fearing country. What we do know is that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

There is a scene in the third episode of “AD: The Bible Continues” that really irked me, where the directors made it seem as though the arrival of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost was solely due to the disciples praying the Lord’s Prayer over and over, louder and louder. God doesn’t come on command.

Are we truly humble if we think we have power to coerce God? He might be saying to us as He did to Job, “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?” (Job 38:2). We don’t know how and when God will choose to work in our lives and the lives of those we love. We are responsible to pray for others and to share the truth in love when opportunities arise, but we have to trust that God will fulfill His own purposes for them and for us in His own good time.

Whether God will bring about life-change in a gathering that we would call a revival is entirely up to Him. Although it’s difficult to find statistics, I think it is safe to say that the majority of Christians were not converted through recognized revivals and awakenings. Most people come to faith through the everyday experiences of life, through encounters with faithful friends and family members praying for them and sharing the Gospel with them. God works in individual hearts and minds every day. This should be of great encouragement to us.

We don’t have to organize big events or get the conditions “just right” for the Holy Spirit to show up. As we follow the normal routine of obedience to God’s Word and guidance, we can trust that He is in control, present with us, and always at work. This is the God we love and serve, not one who comes at our command and obeys our wishes. “This God—His way is perfect” (Psalm 18:30).

“It will be said on that day, ‘Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, that He might save us. This is the Lord; we have waited for Him; let us be glad and rejoice in His salvation” (Isaiah 25:9).

***

Check out this hymn from Sovereign Grace Music, “Behold Our God.”

Friday, February 17, 2023

Not Me

Last Sunday at our church, Ron Thomas preached on Luke 9:

“And He said to all, ‘If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses His life for My sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” (9:23-25).

As Ron pointed out, we have accepted a rather watered-down version of Christianity in the modern world. We settle for being “Christian-ish” rather than fully committing to Jesus as our Lord. During the sermon another passage came to my mind:

“After this many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him. So Jesus said to the twelve, ‘Do you want to go away as well?’ Simon Peter answered Him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that You are the Holy One of God’” (John 6:66-69).

Do we truly believe Christianity is about life or death, or is it merely a lifestyle choice? If it is a lifestyle, then we have no grounds for asking others to make the same choice, no reason to share the gospel—for what is the “good news” of telling others to give up their comforts and pleasures? But if it is a matter of eternal life or death, our choice to obey Jesus as Lord really does matter. We don’t give up things that we enjoy simply for the sake of giving them up. We give up seemingly good things when we know that there is something supremely better to come. “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose” (Jim Elliot).

When the world is enticing, Lord, help us to choose holiness.
When people hurt or disappointment us, help us to seek only Your face.
When culture judges or ridicules, help us to look only to You for approval.
When life is hard, help us to look to eternity.

“The world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:17).

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You can listen to Ron’s sermon here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/8612/12235779

Thursday, January 26, 2023

Welcome to My World

In the November 2022 issue of Christianity Today, author John Koessler in his article “Truth, Love & Social Media” shares the following:

“After 18th-century literary icon Samuel Johnson had dinner at a friend’s house, his biographer, James Boswell, asked if the conversation had been any good. ‘No, Sir,’ he said. ‘We had talk enough, but no conversation; there was nothing discussed.’
“Johnson’s friend had offered one kind of hospitality at that dinner party, but not another kind: discussion. Conversation, whether remote or in person, is an exercise in hospitality, or welcoming the other. When we engage someone in conversation, we invite them into our thinking.”

Somehow, in the modern church we’ve gotten the idea that hospitality means inviting people into your nice clean home for a classy meal. While that is one expression of hospitality, it’s certainly not the only one. What most of us want is to be seen and known, to have real conversations about real issues. It doesn’t matter where those conversations take place. It could be in your home, your office, the church fellowship hall, or a table at Arby’s (or Chick-fil-A if you’re a “good” Christian).

I think the hardest times in my life have been when I felt like I had no one to talk to, no one who really knew me. Isolation is not only disheartening, but it can also be an enticement to sin. We may say, “If the church isn’t there for me, then I’ll find some other community that will be.” The Bible has more than 30 “one another” commands in the letters of the Apostle Paul alone, and there are another half dozen references to hospitality. That seems to indicate that it is important to God.

“God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Cor. 12:24b-26).

How might we foster those kinds of “one another” conversations in our churches? Who do you see who might be living in isolation and need a listening ear?