Self-Care or Self-ish?

There are conflicting opinions even among Christians on where self should fall in our order of priorities. When I was young, the popular saying was “Jesus-Others-You.” Now we hear phrases like self-love, self-care, or soul-care. There are elements of truth in many of these ideas.

God provided for Elijah’s physical needs of food, water, and sleep before sending him back to work (1 Kings 19).

“For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it…” (Eph. 5:29).

“If someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” (1 Tim. 3:5).

Jesus said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself…” (Matt. 16:24).

“Whoever loves father or more more than Me is not worthy of Me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me” (Matt. 10:37).

The Apostle Paul warned against idleness and said, “With toil and labor we worked night and day… If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (2 Thess. 3:6-12).

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3-4).

We should be good stewards of all God has given us, including our physical bodies, our mental and emotional health, and our relationships. But self-care can quickly turn into selfishness if we aren’t seeking God’s guidance in prayer and through His Word. We need adequate sleep, but we also need to join with the church body in worship and fellowship on a regular basis. We need to pay our bills, but we also need to contribute to the work of the church. We need to spend time with family, but we also need to make sure they are receiving the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

There aren’t black and white guidelines for what is right for every person in every possible circumstance. However, Scripture does place more emphasis on sacrifice, suffering, and self-denial than many in the Western church are willing to accept.

Would the church have emerged if the apostles had been more concerned with protecting their houses, families, and personal well being than with spreading the good news? Would the church have spread around the world if missionaries decided to stay in the comfort and safety of their home country? Would the church be able to function if every member did only what felt convenient and fulfilling?

That’s not to say that every Christian needs to be involved in every church activity ever planned. I sometimes wrestle with the false guilt of legalism. “I should go … But I don’t feel like going … But I want to show my support for my pastor … But attendance figures aren’t everything … And it’s not all about what I might get out of it … But what can I give to others when I know I’m not likely to add anything to the discussion? … Am I being hypocritical to show up when I don’t want to? … And are people going to be respectful of social distancing and masks?” All those thoughts and more go tumbling through my mind, so I know firsthand that decisions about priorities aren’t always easy. But for many people the debate never goes further than “I don’t feel like it, so I won’t.”

God intends for us to enjoy His good gifts of rest, food, and relationships, but we must remember that He is the source of all good things so we can keep them in proper perspective. If we seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, the other things will fall into place where they belong.

“Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!” (Psalm 119:36).

***

Here are a few articles that give different perspectives:

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/self-care-soul-care/

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/self-care-and-self-denial/

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-insanity-of-self-care

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/denying-yourself-is-loving-yourself


© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

In Triumph and in Death

 A Bible search for the word “always” led me to see to a curious juxtaposition of verses in 2 Corinthians. On one hand we have the victorious image of 2:14 (ESV):

“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere.”

That’s the kind of verse everyone would like to claim. We’d all like to feel triumphant over sin, adversity, and death. And we often seem to think that our faith will be easily shared with others, like a fragrance wafting across the room with no real effort on our part. But then just two chapters later the Apostle Paul writes:

“[We are] always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our mortal flesh” (4:10-11).

That picture isn’t so pleasant or desirable. We don’t particularly want any form of death, whether it is the daily death of our own selfish desires or the death that comes from persecution for our faith. Christianity would be so much easier and more appealing to the world if it were obviously victorious and comfortable. If it were really about health and wealth, it wouldn’t be hard to convert people. There would be no need for evangelistic crusades or prayer meetings or hard conversations. In fact, it wouldn’t even require the work of the Holy Spirit.

But from the beginning faith has required death. When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, death was introduced into the world (Gen. 3). The curse included the death-like futility of toil, physical death, and spiritual death. God’s first action after pronouncing this death was to kill animals in order to make garments of skins to cloth Adam and Eve (v. 21). It wasn’t long until the Old Testament sacrificial system was enacted as a temporary substitutionary death that pointed ahead to the Messiah who would “give His life as a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28), and “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins” (Heb. 9:22).

We must first put our faith in the One who died in our place, but it doesn’t end there. As we put on our new life in Christ, it requires the death of our old self—we can’t put on the new without putting off the old. “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God… Put to death therefore what is earthly in you” (Col. 3:3, 5). We won’t be conformed to the image of Christ without sacrificing our own wills to His (Rom. 12:1-2). We won’t “spread the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere” unless His life is being lived out day by day. “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him” (1 John 4:9).

In this age of self, this is not a popular message. Everyone wants to live their own life, follow their heart, and fulfill their own desires. But for those who claim faith in Christ, it is not my life but His, not my desires but His, not my will but His. “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Cor. 6:19-20). This message is repeated in various ways throughout the New Testament, so anyone who believes that they can be a Christian and yet live however they please is sadly deceived.

“For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?” (2 Cor. 2:15-16).

May we be a fragrant offering, broken and poured out for Him.

“It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death” (Phil. 1:20).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer. 

Fruitful Living

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV).

When this Scripture was read in our church service Sunday morning, it occurred to me that the fruit of the Spirit is the fruit of Christlikeness. As the Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Rome: “For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers” (Romans 8:29). We display the fruit of the Spirit as we are conformed to the image of Christ. Consider how each aspect of the fruit was exhibited in the life of Christ. This is just a small sampling. 

Love
“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:12-13).

“But I say to you who hear, ‘Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you’” (Luke 6:27).

 
Joy
“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).

“Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2). 

Peace
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27).

“As they were talking about these things, Jesus Himself stood among them and said to them, ‘Peace to you!’” (Luke 24:36). 

Patience
“And Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, what does this have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come’” (John 2:4).

“Jesus said to him, ‘Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know Me, Philip? Whoever has seen Me has seen the Father. How can you say, “Show us the Father”?’” (John 14:9). 

Kindness
“And behold, a leper came to Him and knelt before Him, saying, ‘Lord, if You will, You can make me clean.’ And Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, saying, ‘I will; be clean.’ And immediately his leprosy was cleansed” (Matthew 8:2-3).

“Jesus turned, and seeing her He said, ‘Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.’ And instantly the woman was made well” (Matthew 9:22). 

Goodness
“And Jesus said to him, ‘Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone’” (Luke 18:19).

“Jesus answered [the Jews], ‘I have shown you many good works from the Father; for which of them are you going to stone Me?’” (John 10:30). 

Faithfulness
“Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own authority, but the Father who dwells in Me does His works” (John 14:10).

“I glorified You on earth, having accomplished the work that You gave Me to do” (John 17:4). 

Gentleness
“Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:29-30).

“And they were bringing children to Him that He might touch them… And He took them in His arms and blessed them, laying His hands on them” (Mark 10:13, 16). 

Self-Control
“He saved others; let Him save Himself… ‘If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!’” (Luke 23:35, 37).

“Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil… ‘It is written, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God”’” (Matthew 4:1, 4).

*** 

I pray that we’ll see the increasing fruit of Christlikeness in our lives.

“Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared, but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is” (1 John 3:2). 

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Broken

“Trust Him in all this brokenness. It is a gift” (Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way).

I’m tired of brokenness.
I’m tired of a broken world,
  culture,
    system.
I’m tired of broken people
  breaking people,
Broken by sin,
  sickness,
    death.
I’m tired of being broken.
I don’t want to be weak,
  needy,
    dependent.
I’m tired of the pangs of sorrow,
  shame,
    anger,
      pain.
I want to feel strong,
  capable,
    prepared.
But You love the broken,
  the weak,
    the needy,
      the anxious.
You bind up the broken,
  use the humble,
    save the sinful.
Unless the ground
  is broken
    it cannot accept the seed.
Unless the grain of wheat
  is broken
    it cannot multiply.
Unless the grains
  are broken
    there is no bread.
Unless the grapes
  are crushed
    there is no wine.
Unless the Lord
  was broken
    there is no Savior.
Unless His blood
  was spilled out
    there is no redemption.
Unless the proud,
  self-sufficient,
    sinful
      are broken
        there is no mercy.
Broken is the gift
  we didn’t ask for,
    didn’t want,
      desperately need.
Broken is where
  He meets us,
    calls us,
      saves us.
Broken is where
  we find Him,
    see Him,
      cling to Him.
In the Broken One
  is where we find life,
    breath,
      hope,
        peace.
In the Broken One
  is where we live,
    and move,
      and have our being.

“For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: ‘I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite” (Isaiah 57:15 ESV).



© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Faithful Endurance

 The Apostle Paul made an interesting comment in his second letter to Timothy:

“You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra—which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me” (2 Tim. 3:10-11 ESV).

What events was he referring to in these three cities?

Antioch- “But when the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy and began to contradict what was spoken by Paul, reviling him…[They] stirred up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and drove them out of their district” (Acts 13:45, 50).

Iconium- “When an attempt was made… to mistreat them and to stone them, they learned of it and fled” (Acts 14:5-6).

Lystra- “But Jews came from Antioch and Iconium, and having persuaded the crowds, they stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city, supposing that he was dead” (Acts 14:19).

Being stoned and thought dead is extreme persecution, and yet Paul’s reflection is that “from them all the Lord rescued me.” It wasn’t just that Paul survived those events, but that he knew his life was always in God’s hand. “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21). As he wrote to the Romans, “I am sure that neither death nor life… will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:38-39).

We in the western church often have a rather one-dimensional understanding of rescue. Many church prayer meetings focus almost exclusively on God’s deliverance from any kind of suffering, rather than through suffering. We assume that God will receive more glory by healing and delivering us than He would by enabling us to be faithful witnesses in sickness, persecution, and death. Paul wrote to the Corinthians:

“But as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger” (2 Cor. 6:4-5).

He says that his reputation as God’s representative is illustrated by enduring hardship, not by being protected from it. Many of our brothers and sisters in Christ around the world have a much more robust theology of suffering because they endure it every day. We’ve been pampered by our culture for a while, but that is not going to last. More Christians are going to suffer in one way or another, and we need to endure as faithful witnesses through whatever trials God allows to come our way.

Lord, keep us faithful to You as You have been faithful to us in and through every circumstance.

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies” (2 Cor. 4:8-10).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Losing It

 Jen Oshman writes in Enough About Me:

“The cultural air we breathe fills us with optimism. And so we take deep breaths, and we keep running for the goal. Create your own destiny. You be you. Reach for the stars. You can be a self-made woman. You are in charge of your own happiness. You get what you give. Never let them see you sweat. Follow your dreams. Make it happen. You are enough… Almost without exception and as if on cue, we reach the end of ourselves. The coffee cup is empty. The self-talk grows quiet. We collapse on the couch. We are tired. This isn’t working. Someone send help” (26-27).

While other Christian authors are trying to tell us we’re “exactly enough” and “find your best life now,” Scripture presents a different picture. In the Apostle Paul’s letters we read:

“God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong… so that no human being might boast in the presence of God… ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:27, 29, 31 ESV; see also 2 Cor. 10:13-18).

“Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God” (2 Cor. 3:4-5).

“But [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9).

And our Lord Jesus Himself said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it” (Mark 8:34-35). Taking up your cross daily sounds a lot different than “become the best you you can be.” And praying “give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11) is a picture of dependency, not accomplishment. Oshman goes on:

“Undoubtedly you’ve heard the comforting American quip, God never gives us more than we can handle. And perhaps you’ve thought to yourself, Really? Because this feels like a lot more than I can handle. I’m with you—in my experience, God often gives us way more than we’re comfortable with, so that we might cry out to him… This turning to God is a sort of death. We ultimately realize we cannot handle ourselves, our souls, our futures, our contentment. We need something. Someone, outside of ourselves. We need our Creator who is also our Redeemer, our rescuer, our load bearer” (66).

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am frequently reminded of my inadequacy and weaknesses. I can’t do all I need to do and all I want to do, and I can’t be anything I want to be. Years ago I read that the cross we each must bear is our own weakness in all its forms—unfulfilled desires, temptations, physical and mental limitations, lack of abilities and opportunities. It is perhaps the antithesis of the American dream.

There is no strength to be found by “believing in yourself.” Freedom doesn’t come from being self-accepting and authentic. Rather, strength and freedom are found in Christ alone as we rely on Him to accomplish His work in and through us. The Christian life is not about maximizing our potential but resting in Christ—not what I can do but what He has done. Denying myself and losing my life means letting go of what I want and think I need and embracing whatever God supplies. And it’s not just sinful desires that must be surrendered either—there are many good desires that God will not fulfill in this lifetime. Each of us probably have things that we wish were different in our lives and we may even be praying for God to change them, but He may be saying “My grace is sufficient, just trust Me.”

I can’t change myself or my world, but I can choose to trust the One who is in control of all things. I can’t pull myself up by my own bootstraps, but I can believe in the One who upholds me by His hand.

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me… And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:12-13, 19).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Coming of Age

Ed Stetzer wrote in Christians in the Age of Outrage:

“The rise of podcasts, social media, and online streaming can leave the impression that we are actually being discipled by the leaders we follow. For sure, leaders who excel in these formats can help foster our discipleship growth, particularly in locations or circumstances where there are few alternatives. However, we need to understand that these resources are at best supplemental to our spiritual discipleship. Discipleship is necessarily embodied; that is, discipleship is an exchange or dialogue between Christians. It is a personal investment on the part of mature believers in others with the overarching purpose of equipping them for righteous living and Kingdom ministry (Ephesians 4:12)” (ch. 7).

In this time of ongoing social distancing, many have recognized the deficiencies of virtual meetings and classrooms, and online sermons and Bible studies. Those things are all fine as far as they go, but they don’t replace in person discipleship.

I was thinking back to when I started college. I considered myself a fairly strong Christian, and I chose to go to a Christian college. Once I was there I was able to connect with Christians from a wide variety of backgrounds. Not only did the classes teach us to think through our beliefs more clearly, but the professors modeled Christian life, encouraged us, and prayed for us. Fellow students challenged one another to study the Bible, memorize Scripture, and remain accountable in times of temptation. It was through close discipling relationships that I came to understand God’s grace and mercy toward us. And it was through those relationships that I found encouragement and help in difficult times.

I can’t imagine how different my life would be if I had not been living on campus but had done all my coursework online. I would not have some of the friendships that are still important to me almost three decades later. (Where did the time go?!) I would not have connected with the people that led me to my current job, ministry, home, and church. I would not have wrestled with my faith in the same ways, and as a result my faith would be much weaker than it is.

As school systems, universities, and churches are all sorting through the challenges of teaching in the midst of a pandemic, we all need to remember that education is not just about conveying knowledge. Preparing students for life takes more than a talking head on a screen. And preparing Christians for ministry takes even more interpersonal connections. We all know that to be true, but we may tend to downplay its significance when it’s difficult to overcome obstacles.

“While the world struggles with the where, who, and why of moral education and formation, the church should be Christians’ source of teaching on forming life-giving habits. The Christian community is built around the concept of discipleship but many churches have not thought about how to teach proper discipleship practices in this digital world” (Stetzer, ch. 2).

The author of Hebrews wrote that “solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil” (Heb. 5:14 ESV). Maturity doesn’t happen in isolation. I suspect that many parents would say that social isolation has often revealed the immaturity of their children in recent weeks. I can say with certainty that whatever spiritual maturity I have is a result of relationships with those who have taught me, questioned me, challenged me, encouraged me, and even rebuked me when needed.

What will be the impact of current events on the future faith of today’s youth? How can we build and maintain the kind of discipling relationships that we all need? How much time and effort are we willing to invest for good of the Kingdom?

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.