Self-Care or Self-ish?

There are conflicting opinions even among Christians on where self should fall in our order of priorities. When I was young, the popular saying was “Jesus-Others-You.” Now we hear phrases like self-love, self-care, or soul-care. There are elements of truth in many of these ideas.

God provided for Elijah’s physical needs of food, water, and sleep before sending him back to work (1 Kings 19).

“For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it…” (Eph. 5:29).

“If someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?” (1 Tim. 3:5).

Jesus said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself…” (Matt. 16:24).

“Whoever loves father or more more than Me is not worthy of Me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me” (Matt. 10:37).

The Apostle Paul warned against idleness and said, “With toil and labor we worked night and day… If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (2 Thess. 3:6-12).

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3-4).

We should be good stewards of all God has given us, including our physical bodies, our mental and emotional health, and our relationships. But self-care can quickly turn into selfishness if we aren’t seeking God’s guidance in prayer and through His Word. We need adequate sleep, but we also need to join with the church body in worship and fellowship on a regular basis. We need to pay our bills, but we also need to contribute to the work of the church. We need to spend time with family, but we also need to make sure they are receiving the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

There aren’t black and white guidelines for what is right for every person in every possible circumstance. However, Scripture does place more emphasis on sacrifice, suffering, and self-denial than many in the Western church are willing to accept.

Would the church have emerged if the apostles had been more concerned with protecting their houses, families, and personal well being than with spreading the good news? Would the church have spread around the world if missionaries decided to stay in the comfort and safety of their home country? Would the church be able to function if every member did only what felt convenient and fulfilling?

That’s not to say that every Christian needs to be involved in every church activity ever planned. I sometimes wrestle with the false guilt of legalism. “I should go … But I don’t feel like going … But I want to show my support for my pastor … But attendance figures aren’t everything … And it’s not all about what I might get out of it … But what can I give to others when I know I’m not likely to add anything to the discussion? … Am I being hypocritical to show up when I don’t want to? … And are people going to be respectful of social distancing and masks?” All those thoughts and more go tumbling through my mind, so I know firsthand that decisions about priorities aren’t always easy. But for many people the debate never goes further than “I don’t feel like it, so I won’t.”

God intends for us to enjoy His good gifts of rest, food, and relationships, but we must remember that He is the source of all good things so we can keep them in proper perspective. If we seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, the other things will fall into place where they belong.

“Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!” (Psalm 119:36).

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Here are a few articles that give different perspectives:

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/self-care-soul-care/

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/self-care-and-self-denial/

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-insanity-of-self-care

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/denying-yourself-is-loving-yourself


© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.