Sometimes having a vivid
imagination can be both a blessing and a torment. Recently I was imagining a
particular “what if” scenario, thinking about what life would be like now if
something had been different in the past. In the process I realized that I
would be faced with a very difficult and painful decision if that had been the
case, so I am thankful that God’s grace protected me from following that
particular path. There are a few situations that come to mind that are like that,
some of which were more likely to happen than others.
Thinking of Robert Frost’s
poem, life isn’t just two roads diverging, but thousands of roads leading on to
thousands of other roads. We have no way of knowing where these roads will lead
over the course of a lifetime. Some choices are clearly right or wrong, while others
have no moral implications at all. Most roads are somewhere in the middle of
that spectrum. As we look back over a lifetime of choices, we can see how one
way led on to another to get us where we are today. And if those choices have
been made with God’s guidance, we can see how He has made a straight path out
of what seemed like a very circuitous route.
That’s an aspect of
God’s grace that we may not always see or appreciate. We can agree with the
Garth Brooks song, “Sometimes I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers,” but I wonder
how many times God has intervened in ways that we never even know about? We may
discover them later, like the car accident we avoided because we had a dead
battery, or like the “what ifs” I imagined playing out, but many we may never
discover. Perhaps part of eternity will be the revelation of all the ways God
intervened in our lives. That would certainly give us reason to glorify God as
we say, “Thank You for not letting me go there!” Of course, we don’t have to wait
for eternity to express our thanks for God’s intervention.
There are also times we wish
God had intervened, but for whatever reason He did not. Even though some of the
paths we’ve traversed may have been difficult ones, where would we be today if
we had not gone that direction? How have those difficult roads shaped our
character and strengthened our faith in ways that easier roads would not? I was
wrestling with this last night and questioning why God allowed certain
circumstances in my life that were not pleasant and seemed to me to be detrimental
to His purposes. In fact, in reviewing the first several verses of Ephesians 1, I felt that God’s grace wasn’t all that lavish sometimes. I had to return to a
quote I’d encountered earlier in the day in a
novel by Michael Phillips that I’m reading:
“People can be bitter over their marks of individuality.
Or they can be thankful and let God use them to deepen compassion and character
within them. I believe you are a better and more understanding and
compassionate person because of the way God made you… [Y]ou really can thank
God… because it has helped form your character inside… I love you so much! How
could God not love you infinitely more than I do?”
It’s not always easy to find
reasons to be thankful for circumstances we don’t understand. How can we wrap
our minds around the idea of God’s lavish grace when life is painful and nothing
makes sense? Eventually it comes down to a question of faith—do I trust Him
with what I can’t yet see? Along the way, questions may be unanswered and
emotions will rise, but God never changes. He can handle our questions and
doubts, our fear and anger. Another character in the same book says:
“Asking God why things happen is, it seems to me, an
integral part of what it means for a mortal to walk in faith, for we wouldn’t
ask if we didn’t have faith that God knows the answer! But we do not see as God
does. Much appears evil and unfair to our obscured sight. But we are
nevertheless commanded to walk in faith, trusting in his sight more than we
trust in our own. We can and perhaps should ask him why, as long as we trust
him even when answers may be slow to come… God’s goodness is and must remain
the foundation. With the underpinnings of goodness and trustworthiness solid,
any number of questions, even doubts, even crying angrily to God as Job did—all
these are allowed.”
So whether your paths are
pleasant or painful, whether they divert you from disaster or take you through
the valley of the shadow of death, thank God for His loving kindness and lavish
grace. One day everything that is now hidden from us will be brought to light,
and God’s glory will be fully revealed.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your
paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV).
© 2016 Dawn Rutan.