Pearls of Great Price

Thanksgiving can be a difficult holiday for many people. It’s hard to give thanks when you don’t feel thankful about what’s going on in life. As Ed Welch wrote in his article I Am Not Giving Thanks, “There are plenty of hardships in this world, and they are not good. What is good is that evil cannot stand in the way of God’s essential work of making his people more and more as they were intended to be, which is portrayed most clearly in the Son. This, indeed, is a glorious good, but it could feel as though it falls short of our lesser versions of good.”

We may feel like we’re just going through the motions. Commands such as “Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! …Come into His presence with singing! …Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise!” (Psalm 100), may feel like salt on an open wound. A podcast I was listening to recently made the comment that when the church gathers, maybe I don’t have the heart to sing right now, but I can listen to others sing. Another week I may be the one singing when others can only listen. We tend to forget that many of the commands in Scripture are for the church as a whole, not merely an individual mandate.

Some of the things we are not thankful for now may one day be reasons for praise. The Apostle Peter wrote, “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:6-7). Even if we can’t give thanks for the hard things in this life, there will come a day when it all becomes worthwhile.

In the novel Silver Birches, by Adrian Plass, one character is a minister who has lost his wife. He tells the others in his group:

“Apparently pearls are formed by oysters as a reaction or defense against a foreign body or irritant… I think something very similar has happened in my own life—and yours. There’ve been troubles and weaknesses and negative influences that haven’t just threatened but come very close to moving in and ruining parts of my life… I’m sure we shouldn’t take any pride or satisfaction in these irritants that enter our lives, but, look, I do think we should greatly value the way in which God’s able to form a pearl of protection around each of them. He hasn’t got rid of most of them because he’s good enough to allow us to go on being the person we are. We wear God’s pearls as symbols of our vulnerability and perhaps as pictures of the way God can make something beautiful out of weakness.”

So, I ask myself and I ask you, what are some of the troubles and trials that God has turned into pearls? What weaknesses and places of pain is He still working to transform? Though I can’t list everything publicly, I will share a few:

• I’m thankful for the depression that causes me to search Scripture for words of comfort.
• I’m thankful for the seasons of loneliness in which my words come out in writing and prayer.
• I’m thankful that struggles I’ve dared to share have been used to comfort and encourage others in similar trials.

I know my pearls are not yet fully formed, but one day they will be laid at Jesus’ feet with gratitude and thanksgiving. 

“And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful” (Col. 3:15).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Paths of Grace

Sometimes having a vivid imagination can be both a blessing and a torment. Recently I was imagining a particular “what if” scenario, thinking about what life would be like now if something had been different in the past. In the process I realized that I would be faced with a very difficult and painful decision if that had been the case, so I am thankful that God’s grace protected me from following that particular path. There are a few situations that come to mind that are like that, some of which were more likely to happen than others.

Thinking of Robert Frost’s poem, life isn’t just two roads diverging, but thousands of roads leading on to thousands of other roads. We have no way of knowing where these roads will lead over the course of a lifetime. Some choices are clearly right or wrong, while others have no moral implications at all. Most roads are somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. As we look back over a lifetime of choices, we can see how one way led on to another to get us where we are today. And if those choices have been made with God’s guidance, we can see how He has made a straight path out of what seemed like a very circuitous route.

That’s an aspect of God’s grace that we may not always see or appreciate. We can agree with the Garth Brooks song, “Sometimes I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers,” but I wonder how many times God has intervened in ways that we never even know about? We may discover them later, like the car accident we avoided because we had a dead battery, or like the “what ifs” I imagined playing out, but many we may never discover. Perhaps part of eternity will be the revelation of all the ways God intervened in our lives. That would certainly give us reason to glorify God as we say, “Thank You for not letting me go there!” Of course, we don’t have to wait for eternity to express our thanks for God’s intervention.

There are also times we wish God had intervened, but for whatever reason He did not. Even though some of the paths we’ve traversed may have been difficult ones, where would we be today if we had not gone that direction? How have those difficult roads shaped our character and strengthened our faith in ways that easier roads would not? I was wrestling with this last night and questioning why God allowed certain circumstances in my life that were not pleasant and seemed to me to be detrimental to His purposes. In fact, in reviewing the first several verses of Ephesians 1, I felt that God’s grace wasn’t all that lavish sometimes. I had to return to a quote I’d encountered earlier in the day in a novel by Michael Phillips that I’m reading:

“People can be bitter over their marks of individuality. Or they can be thankful and let God use them to deepen compassion and character within them. I believe you are a better and more understanding and compassionate person because of the way God made you… [Y]ou really can thank God… because it has helped form your character inside… I love you so much! How could God not love you infinitely more than I do?”

It’s not always easy to find reasons to be thankful for circumstances we don’t understand. How can we wrap our minds around the idea of God’s lavish grace when life is painful and nothing makes sense? Eventually it comes down to a question of faith—do I trust Him with what I can’t yet see? Along the way, questions may be unanswered and emotions will rise, but God never changes. He can handle our questions and doubts, our fear and anger. Another character in the same book says:

“Asking God why things happen is, it seems to me, an integral part of what it means for a mortal to walk in faith, for we wouldn’t ask if we didn’t have faith that God knows the answer! But we do not see as God does. Much appears evil and unfair to our obscured sight. But we are nevertheless commanded to walk in faith, trusting in his sight more than we trust in our own. We can and perhaps should ask him why, as long as we trust him even when answers may be slow to come… God’s goodness is and must remain the foundation. With the underpinnings of goodness and trustworthiness solid, any number of questions, even doubts, even crying angrily to God as Job did—all these are allowed.”

So whether your paths are pleasant or painful, whether they divert you from disaster or take you through the valley of the shadow of death, thank God for His loving kindness and lavish grace. One day everything that is now hidden from us will be brought to light, and God’s glory will be fully revealed.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV).

© 2016 Dawn Rutan.