Broken

“Trust Him in all this brokenness. It is a gift” (Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way).

I’m tired of brokenness.
I’m tired of a broken world,
  culture,
    system.
I’m tired of broken people
  breaking people,
Broken by sin,
  sickness,
    death.
I’m tired of being broken.
I don’t want to be weak,
  needy,
    dependent.
I’m tired of the pangs of sorrow,
  shame,
    anger,
      pain.
I want to feel strong,
  capable,
    prepared.
But You love the broken,
  the weak,
    the needy,
      the anxious.
You bind up the broken,
  use the humble,
    save the sinful.
Unless the ground
  is broken
    it cannot accept the seed.
Unless the grain of wheat
  is broken
    it cannot multiply.
Unless the grains
  are broken
    there is no bread.
Unless the grapes
  are crushed
    there is no wine.
Unless the Lord
  was broken
    there is no Savior.
Unless His blood
  was spilled out
    there is no redemption.
Unless the proud,
  self-sufficient,
    sinful
      are broken
        there is no mercy.
Broken is the gift
  we didn’t ask for,
    didn’t want,
      desperately need.
Broken is where
  He meets us,
    calls us,
      saves us.
Broken is where
  we find Him,
    see Him,
      cling to Him.
In the Broken One
  is where we find life,
    breath,
      hope,
        peace.
In the Broken One
  is where we live,
    and move,
      and have our being.

“For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: ‘I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite” (Isaiah 57:15 ESV).



© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Faithful Endurance

 The Apostle Paul made an interesting comment in his second letter to Timothy:

“You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra—which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me” (2 Tim. 3:10-11 ESV).

What events was he referring to in these three cities?

Antioch- “But when the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy and began to contradict what was spoken by Paul, reviling him…[They] stirred up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and drove them out of their district” (Acts 13:45, 50).

Iconium- “When an attempt was made… to mistreat them and to stone them, they learned of it and fled” (Acts 14:5-6).

Lystra- “But Jews came from Antioch and Iconium, and having persuaded the crowds, they stoned Paul and dragged him out of the city, supposing that he was dead” (Acts 14:19).

Being stoned and thought dead is extreme persecution, and yet Paul’s reflection is that “from them all the Lord rescued me.” It wasn’t just that Paul survived those events, but that he knew his life was always in God’s hand. “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21). As he wrote to the Romans, “I am sure that neither death nor life… will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:38-39).

We in the western church often have a rather one-dimensional understanding of rescue. Many church prayer meetings focus almost exclusively on God’s deliverance from any kind of suffering, rather than through suffering. We assume that God will receive more glory by healing and delivering us than He would by enabling us to be faithful witnesses in sickness, persecution, and death. Paul wrote to the Corinthians:

“But as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger” (2 Cor. 6:4-5).

He says that his reputation as God’s representative is illustrated by enduring hardship, not by being protected from it. Many of our brothers and sisters in Christ around the world have a much more robust theology of suffering because they endure it every day. We’ve been pampered by our culture for a while, but that is not going to last. More Christians are going to suffer in one way or another, and we need to endure as faithful witnesses through whatever trials God allows to come our way.

Lord, keep us faithful to You as You have been faithful to us in and through every circumstance.

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies” (2 Cor. 4:8-10).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Losing It

 Jen Oshman writes in Enough About Me:

“The cultural air we breathe fills us with optimism. And so we take deep breaths, and we keep running for the goal. Create your own destiny. You be you. Reach for the stars. You can be a self-made woman. You are in charge of your own happiness. You get what you give. Never let them see you sweat. Follow your dreams. Make it happen. You are enough… Almost without exception and as if on cue, we reach the end of ourselves. The coffee cup is empty. The self-talk grows quiet. We collapse on the couch. We are tired. This isn’t working. Someone send help” (26-27).

While other Christian authors are trying to tell us we’re “exactly enough” and “find your best life now,” Scripture presents a different picture. In the Apostle Paul’s letters we read:

“God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong… so that no human being might boast in the presence of God… ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:27, 29, 31 ESV; see also 2 Cor. 10:13-18).

“Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God” (2 Cor. 3:4-5).

“But [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9).

And our Lord Jesus Himself said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it” (Mark 8:34-35). Taking up your cross daily sounds a lot different than “become the best you you can be.” And praying “give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11) is a picture of dependency, not accomplishment. Oshman goes on:

“Undoubtedly you’ve heard the comforting American quip, God never gives us more than we can handle. And perhaps you’ve thought to yourself, Really? Because this feels like a lot more than I can handle. I’m with you—in my experience, God often gives us way more than we’re comfortable with, so that we might cry out to him… This turning to God is a sort of death. We ultimately realize we cannot handle ourselves, our souls, our futures, our contentment. We need something. Someone, outside of ourselves. We need our Creator who is also our Redeemer, our rescuer, our load bearer” (66).

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am frequently reminded of my inadequacy and weaknesses. I can’t do all I need to do and all I want to do, and I can’t be anything I want to be. Years ago I read that the cross we each must bear is our own weakness in all its forms—unfulfilled desires, temptations, physical and mental limitations, lack of abilities and opportunities. It is perhaps the antithesis of the American dream.

There is no strength to be found by “believing in yourself.” Freedom doesn’t come from being self-accepting and authentic. Rather, strength and freedom are found in Christ alone as we rely on Him to accomplish His work in and through us. The Christian life is not about maximizing our potential but resting in Christ—not what I can do but what He has done. Denying myself and losing my life means letting go of what I want and think I need and embracing whatever God supplies. And it’s not just sinful desires that must be surrendered either—there are many good desires that God will not fulfill in this lifetime. Each of us probably have things that we wish were different in our lives and we may even be praying for God to change them, but He may be saying “My grace is sufficient, just trust Me.”

I can’t change myself or my world, but I can choose to trust the One who is in control of all things. I can’t pull myself up by my own bootstraps, but I can believe in the One who upholds me by His hand.

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me… And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:12-13, 19).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Coming of Age

Ed Stetzer wrote in Christians in the Age of Outrage:

“The rise of podcasts, social media, and online streaming can leave the impression that we are actually being discipled by the leaders we follow. For sure, leaders who excel in these formats can help foster our discipleship growth, particularly in locations or circumstances where there are few alternatives. However, we need to understand that these resources are at best supplemental to our spiritual discipleship. Discipleship is necessarily embodied; that is, discipleship is an exchange or dialogue between Christians. It is a personal investment on the part of mature believers in others with the overarching purpose of equipping them for righteous living and Kingdom ministry (Ephesians 4:12)” (ch. 7).

In this time of ongoing social distancing, many have recognized the deficiencies of virtual meetings and classrooms, and online sermons and Bible studies. Those things are all fine as far as they go, but they don’t replace in person discipleship.

I was thinking back to when I started college. I considered myself a fairly strong Christian, and I chose to go to a Christian college. Once I was there I was able to connect with Christians from a wide variety of backgrounds. Not only did the classes teach us to think through our beliefs more clearly, but the professors modeled Christian life, encouraged us, and prayed for us. Fellow students challenged one another to study the Bible, memorize Scripture, and remain accountable in times of temptation. It was through close discipling relationships that I came to understand God’s grace and mercy toward us. And it was through those relationships that I found encouragement and help in difficult times.

I can’t imagine how different my life would be if I had not been living on campus but had done all my coursework online. I would not have some of the friendships that are still important to me almost three decades later. (Where did the time go?!) I would not have connected with the people that led me to my current job, ministry, home, and church. I would not have wrestled with my faith in the same ways, and as a result my faith would be much weaker than it is.

As school systems, universities, and churches are all sorting through the challenges of teaching in the midst of a pandemic, we all need to remember that education is not just about conveying knowledge. Preparing students for life takes more than a talking head on a screen. And preparing Christians for ministry takes even more interpersonal connections. We all know that to be true, but we may tend to downplay its significance when it’s difficult to overcome obstacles.

“While the world struggles with the where, who, and why of moral education and formation, the church should be Christians’ source of teaching on forming life-giving habits. The Christian community is built around the concept of discipleship but many churches have not thought about how to teach proper discipleship practices in this digital world” (Stetzer, ch. 2).

The author of Hebrews wrote that “solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil” (Heb. 5:14 ESV). Maturity doesn’t happen in isolation. I suspect that many parents would say that social isolation has often revealed the immaturity of their children in recent weeks. I can say with certainty that whatever spiritual maturity I have is a result of relationships with those who have taught me, questioned me, challenged me, encouraged me, and even rebuked me when needed.

What will be the impact of current events on the future faith of today’s youth? How can we build and maintain the kind of discipling relationships that we all need? How much time and effort are we willing to invest for good of the Kingdom?

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Hearts Revealed

Once in a while I like to read The Message paraphrase of the Bible. These verses jumped out at me:

“It is God’s will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you’re a danger to society. Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government” (1 Peter 2:15-17).

Some of the actions we’ve seen this year make me wonder how many so-called Christians have actually read the Bible and know that there are verses like this in there. But then I saw Christianity Today’s article that there’s been a 5% drop in daily Bible reading among Americans in recent months. They speculate on lack of time and lack of in-person connection with the church during the pandemic. While that may be true in some cases, I think there is a more fundamental problem—a lot of people who call themselves Christians have no real interest in God or the Bible. If they are only reading the Bible or attending church out of guilt, peer pressure, or habit, the pandemic has not really changed their hearts but revealed them.

Many churches witnessed a temporary increase in engagement when we all went online at the start of the pandemic. Now the numbers are lower in many cases. And if you don’t count the people who are watching multiple church services online every Sunday, I suspect that most churches have seen an overall decrease in participation. The faithful Christians have remained faithful while many of the nominal Christians have dropped off the radar. I’ve never understood how a church can report more members than active members, and the gap between the two numbers is getting wider.

Although we may bemoan the statistics when this season is past, I don’t think it is necessarily a bad thing. Jesus recognized that there would be weeds growing among the wheat up until the harvest time (Matthew 13:24-30). He warned, “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 7:21 ESV). It may take a pandemic to reveal which church members are actually followers of Jesus Christ and which ones are simply along for the ride. Pastors and leaders need to be able to see who are the true disciples of Christ and who are the ones still in need of salvation.

And church members themselves need to realize if they are among those whose hearts are not engaged with God. Some may be thinking, “You know, I really don’t believe this stuff and I don’t care about it,” and in their departure we need to be praying for God to change their hearts. Others may be realizing they’ve drifted away from their first love but they want to return, and so we welcome them back and pray for God’s continued work.

Jesus said, “A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits” (Matt. 7:18-20). All too often, it seems like we’ve accepted participation in church activities as the only evidence needed of good fruit, even if it has only been artificial fruit. And now that church activities are curtailed, we’re seeing that some people have never actually borne any fruit because they are not connected to Jesus Christ in a life-giving way.

So, to return to where I started, are we bearing the fruit of good works that point to God as our source of life and hope, and silences the ignorant talk of unbelievers? Are we truly living as “a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9-10)? If not, we need to check our hearts.

“For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? …Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good” (1 Peter 4:1-19).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Contentment: A Desire Fulfilled

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about contentment. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippians: “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content” (4:11 ESV). Interestingly, the Greek word translated as contentment is translated as sufficiency in 2 Corinthians 9:8: “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” That puts a little different spin on things. We generally think of contentment as a state of mind—being happy with our circumstances. However, sufficiency is more of a state of being—having enough.

Paul combines those ideas in 1 Timothy 6:6-8, “But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.” If we have what is sufficient for survival, we should then be content. However, as we all know that is rarely the case. We can always think of things that we wish we had—relationships, abilities, possessions, etc.

Melissa Kruger commented in a recent “Let’s Talk” podcast, “What shifted is I recognized I have a heart problem, not a circumstance problem. So, that changes how I fight the battle. I realize I’m going to be fighting this battle with discontentment my whole life, but I fight it differently.” The problem is not what we’re lacking but what we’re idolizing. Anything that takes our eyes off God has the potential to make us discontented. If our delight is in God, our desires are fulfilled because He is what we desire most (Psalm 37:4).

The Apostle Peter wrote that “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence” (2 Peter 1:3). I don’t think we really believe that to be true most of the time. I know I’ve tended to interpret that in a strictly spiritual sense, and therefore I haven’t appreciated His provision of food, shelter, and relationships as I should.

Paul David Tripp wrote in War of Words,

“The blessings God gives you in your family, job, home, church, friends, and community are meant to do something for you. They are meant to point you to the deeper and fuller blessing of the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ in your life. He is life! Abundant life is not your spouse, children house, car, possessions, job, friends, or church. Abundant life is Jesus Christ! The amazing reality is that he is ours and we are his! This is the bread worth living for” (95).

We don’t always remember to let the gifts point us back to the Giver. We desire things that God never promised and that we don’t really need. We confuse wants with needs, and fail to recognize God’s gracious provision. We forget that He is a good Father and that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17). In Tripp’s words,

“May God help us to be people who see the sign behind the miracle, who look at earthly blessing and say, ‘These blessings point me to the deeper, fuller reality of Christ in my life. What I hunger for and what I want my life to be about is fellowship with, love for, and obedience to my Lord Jesus Christ’” (100).

“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You” (Psalm 73:25).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

No Other

“He is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and He in whom I take refuge…” (Psalm 144:2 ESV).

Lord, I confess that I often forget that You are my steadfast love.

No human can give the kind of love I want and need.

No one else is always available.

No one else knows my thoughts before I think them

And my words before I speak them.

No one else always has my best interests at heart.

No one else is perfectly wise in heart and mighty in strength.

No one else can work all things for my eternal good.

No one else collects all my tears in a bottle

And knows the reason for each one.

No one else always cares for my soul.

No one else sticks closer than a brother.

No one else fulfills every promise.

No one else speaks words of comfort to my soul

And gives me songs in the night.

No one else has engraved me on the palms of his hands.

No one else can guide me with perfect wisdom.

No one else is my rock and my salvation.

No one else will carry my close to his heart

            And gently lead me to green pastures and still waters.

Lord, forgive me for expecting people to be and do what only You can.

“Know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other” (Deuteronomy 4:39).

© 2020 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.