Remember When

This week I am reading again John Piper’s short book, When the Darkness Will Not Lift. He makes the following comment:

“In fact the darkest experience for the child of God is when his faith sinks out of his own sight. Not out of God’s sight, but his. Yes, it is possible to be so overwhelmed with darkness that you do not know if you are a Christian—and yet still be one… We are not saved by producing faith on our own and then making that the basis of our new birth. It is the other way around, which means that God is at the bottom of my faith; and when it disappears for a season from my own view, God may yet be there sustaining its root in the new birth and protecting the seed from destruction.”

I’ve had times like that when—because I can’t see what God is doing—I question whether I’ve ever really had faith in Him or I’ve only had faith in my own abilities and insights. I look back over my life and wonder whether I was consciously following God’s direction or if He was dragging me places I didn’t want to go. In better times, I remember the ways God has used the twists and turns of my path to bring me to new places and ways to serve Him.

The enemy would have us forget every Divine providence, every nudge of the Spirit that has directed us, every sign of our faith at work. As Piper indicates, even saving faith is a gift of God. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph. 2:8-9). If we start to think we had anything to do with the origin of our faith, it’s only a short step to thinking we could therefore lose our faith. But what God has truly given cannot be removed: “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of My hand” (John 10:28).

The answer to doubt is to remember what God has done, starting with Scripture and continuing through the present day. How many times is the Exodus referred to in the Bible? It is frequently repeated (e.g. Psalm 66, 77, 78, 106), because we all need frequent reminders of God’s power and authority over all the earth. I may not see or understand how God is at work today, but that doesn’t negate the fact that He has made His presence known in many times and many ways since the beginning of creation.

“Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish My purpose’” (Isaiah 46:9-10).

I have a shelf full of journals in my bedroom that go back more than 20 years. Even without opening them, I remember some of the things that I wrote there, and I am reminded that God has been at work over those many years—changing me, freeing me from certain sins, helping me to endure hard times, and using me for His good purposes. On the radio today I heard some discussion of how many people would go back in time if they could. Even though there are things I wish I could change right now, I have no desire to go back to who I was 10 or 20 or 30 years ago, and I can only attribute that to the fact that God has been at work even when I couldn’t see it. That may not relieve the present darkness, but it does help me put it in perspective of God’s enduring love and grace.

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy” (Psalm 103:2).

***

Here’s a related article from ChurchLeaders.com that I found helpful.

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Image copyright free from pixabay.com, revised by Dawn Rutan. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Pruning Hurts

I have an umbrella plant that a coworker gave me 25 years ago. Actually, I think she allowed me to rescue it when she was about to discard it. I haven’t given it much attention over the years, and it was sprawling in all directions. So I finally cut off a few branches and then thought I’d see if I could get them to root and thereby multiply my plant. (The jury is still out on that part.) If my plant could talk, it would probably be saying, “What in the world are you doing? I’m perfectly happy the way I am!”

I’ve found that same sentiment in my own heart lately. We might think that so long as we’re growing in faith and knowledge then there’s no need for God to start pruning, but Jesus said,

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:1-2).

I note a few things in these verses. First, God prunes those branches that are “in Me,” in other words, Christians. He has no need to prune those who are not Christians, because they are incapable of bearing spiritual fruit to begin with. They may do some good works, or they may not. And He may send trials that will cause them to turn to Him and accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, but that’s not the same as pruning. God disciplines His children through pruning:

“It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons… For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:7-8, 11).

Second, even for Christians there are branches in our lives that do not bear fruit and need to be removed. These may be sinful habits, wrong priorities, or self-sufficient abilities and attitudes. Sometimes pruning is necessary to further conform us to the image of Christ (see Romans 8:28 and 12:2). The Apostle Paul wrote,

“For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Cor. 1:8b-9).

Third, it is God’s goal for us to bear more fruit over time. Although we may be bearing some fruit as we are, He knows exactly what needs to be removed from or added to our lives to make us more fruitful. I think this may be the hardest for us to comprehend. We look at our own lives (both as individuals and as local churches) and think we’re doing pretty well, but God sees the opportunity for something better.

A well-known Christian author wrote in one book that God doesn’t take away things that are good for our spiritual growth, but then he went on to contradict himself later in the book. In contrast, Paul David Tripp wrote in Suffering:

“I thought I knew what God was doing. Life and ministry were as good and as fruitful as they’d ever been… Why would God ever mess with something that worked to give him glory and convinced people to live in rest and submission to him? Why would he not do anything he could to keep me strong, active, and speaking for him? … He’s after the ultimate good for his creation, and for us who bear his image, he’s moving creation to the moment when he will finally make all things new” (174, 177).

The fact is that God often takes away something good in order to create something better. He takes us off of familiar paths in order to make us depend on Him more. He may allow suffering in order to make us see our weakness and His strength. He prunes branches that are bearing fruit so that they can bear more fruit. Pruning can multiply our fruitfulness. However, we may not always receive the “something better” if we fail to seek God’s will during times of pruning. We may be inclined to make unwise decisions just to feel like we’re moving forward.

May we all learn to trust His plan, seek His will, and abide in His love in times of pruning.

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Surrender

I wrote some additional verses to the hymn “All to Jesus I Surrender,” inspired by the following quote from Carolyn Weber in Holy Is the Day:

“I pray for something I have never actually tried before for before: I ask with all I am that my embittering desires be lifted from me. I kneel in the grass and ask God to remove everything that is not a desire first and foremost for him… God must be the Alpha and Omega of my desire if I am to truly live, or else my desires will consume me and I will die not only the Great Death, but countless little deaths landing like stinging nettles on exposed skin, every hour of every day… I desired that in longing for God first, and entrusting all my other longings to him, I would be fulfilled by an abundance far greater than I could ever imagine.”

***

All to Jesus I surrender,
Lord, I give my fears to Thee.
Thou alone my loving Shepherd
through this valley gently lead.

Chorus:
I surrender all,
I surrender all,
All to Thee my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,
in my weakness, Lord, I fall,
trusting Thou art fully sovereign,
on Thy mercy, Lord, I call.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Thou art Lord of heav’n and earth.
Lead Thy people by Thy Spirit,
Thou, the Head of this Thy church.

All to Jesus I surrender,
lead us in Thy will and plan.
Take us into Thy good future,
lead us by Thy righteous hand.

***

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of [His] heart” (Psalm 37:4).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Needs of the One

There are two scenes from Star Trek that have come to mind frequently in recent weeks. At the end of “The Wrath of Khan,” when Spock is about to die because of his efforts to save the ship, comes the following dialogue:

Spock: Don't grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh... 
Kirk: ...the needs of the few.
Spock: Or the one. I have been and always shall be your friend.

Then at the end of “The Search for Spock” is this interaction:

Spock: My father says that you have been my friend. You came back for me.
Kirk: You would have done the same for me.
Spock: Why would you do this?
Kirk: Because the needs of the one... outweigh the needs of the many.

If I’m honest, I often think that the first scene reflects God’s attitude toward mankind— “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.” When difficulties arise in life, it’s tempting to think that God has bigger concerns than the wellbeing of one person, that He’s weighed us in a balance and the “best result for the most people” will always outweigh the few who are hurt in the process. I suppose that reflects Western business principles.

It’s complicated by the fact that God is focused on eternal priorities—salvation and sanctification—when we are often craving temporary comforts. It is also difficult to understand when God doesn’t reveal all His plans ahead of time and He rarely answers the question “Why?” However, Scripture tells us:

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows” (Luke 12:6-7).

“Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You hem me in behind and before, and lay Your hand upon me… Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” (Psalm 139:4-5, 16).

“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:17-18).

Somehow, in God’s economy, His care for individuals is intricately woven into His care for His Church as a whole, along with His care for humanity in general. One way that gets worked out is that God uses suffering to strengthen and purify each of us. James wrote,

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:2-4).

Peter put it this way,

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:6-7).

I suspect that if given a choice, most of us would prefer satisfaction over sanctification, comfort over completion, ephemeral peace over eternal perfection. Paul Tripp wrote in Suffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn’t Make Sense,

“Here is suffering’s paradox: the very thing we would do anything to avoid, the very things that confront our understanding of who we are, and the very things that cause us the most pain become the very things that usher into our lives the blessings of the help, hope, peace, and rest that we all long to experience” (162).

“So your suffering isn’t purposeless, impersonal pain that robs you of what’s good. It’s a tool picked up by a Savior of wisdom, love, and grace to produce wonderful things in and through you that you could never produce on your own” (185).

We need a change of perspective (and I’m preaching to myself here!). We need constant reminders that God is good, that He cares, and that He is in control. May God give us the faith to endure and to trust that His good purposes will prevail even when we can’t begin to fathom what He is doing here and now.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers… [Nothing] in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8:28-29, 39).

***

The end of today’s prayer from Valley of Vision is relevant to this subject:

Give me unwavering faith
  that supplications are never in vain,
  that if I seem not to obtain my petitions
    I shall have larger, richer answers,
    surpassing all that I ask or think.
Unsought, thou hast given me
  the greatest gift, the person of thy Son,
  and in him thou wilt give me all I need.

***

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Image copyright free from pixabay.com and revised by Dawn Rutan. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

In the Storm

Have you ever thought about the storms in Scripture? There are quite a few of them. The first and biggest was the flood in the days of Noah (Genesis 6-8). Noah had the privilege of hearing God’s direct commands to build the ark and take in the animals. But after the door was shut, it seems that God was silent for about a year. I imagine Noah and his family were wondering if the earth would ever reappear or if God had forgotten them. Eventually God did dry up the land and call Noah out of the ark.

Another familiar storm was the result of Jonah’s disobedience and fleeing from his call to Nineveh. The others in the ship somehow knew that this storm had a purpose behind it, and they cast lots to find out whose fault it was. Jonah was apparently ready to die in the sea, but God rescued him with a great fish. It’s not clear whether Jonah actually learned his lesson or not. He did what God commanded, but grumbled about it to the end.

In the Gospels there are a couple storms mentioned. In the first, the disciples were headed across the lake while Jesus was asleep in the boat. A storm arose that frightened even the experienced fishermen among them. They woke Jesus, who stilled the storm and then asked them, “Where is your faith?” Their response was to marvel, “Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him?” (Luke 8:25).

Later on, Jesus sent the disciples into the boat alone while He took time to pray. When He came walking on the sea, they were terrified, “but immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid” (Matt. 14:27). Peter was bold enough to get out of the boat, but began to sink when he took his eyes off Jesus. This storm ended with the disciples worshiping Jesus, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God” (v. 33).

One other prominent storm occurred with the Apostle Paul in Acts 27. The crew of the ship made an ill-advised decision to leave port and ended up in a major storm that lasted at least two weeks. Under divine guidance, Paul urged them to stay with the ship and to eat when they could. They finally ran aground and managed to make it to shore on the debris of the ship with all lives saved.

From just these few examples, we see that the storms of life may be a result of individual sin (Jonah), the sin of the multitudes (Noah), bad decisions (Acts), to reveal the Savior (the disciples), or for other unknown reasons. In Finding Jesus in the Storm, John Swinton writes “Retrospective spiritual direction allows people to see where God was in the midst of the storms and to help them use that knowledge as an encouragement and source of hope now and for the future” (p. 214). While I agree with that in principle, I know that it’s easier to see how God was at work after the fact than it is during the storm. When you’re focused on survival, it can be hard to remember God’s faithfulness. When you’re busy bailing water, you don’t always remember the blessings of nets full of fish (John 21:6-7) or deliverance from danger (2 Cor. 11:25-30).

Like David we may be saying, “Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me” (Psalm 69:1-2). Whether the storm is physical, mental, emotional, or relational, there is a spiritual aspect to it. Storms test our faith and our understanding of who God is and how He will act. C.S. Lewis wrote, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be” (Letter to Father Peter Bide 4/19/59, Collected Letters Vol. 3).

When we struggle to remember God’s presence and we doubt His care, we need others who can remind us of the truth—not just quoting Scripture at us or speculating as to what God is up to, but walking with us through the storm, embodying God’s love and grace, and praying for God to sustain us in the darkest of nights. We need more people like that in our churches.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you” (Isaiah 43:2).

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Seen and Unseen

In all the hype and talk about social media—its dangers and delights—it occurred to me recently that there’s a benefit that perhaps gets overlooked at times. Seeing likes or comments on your post gives the sense of being seen by others. It doesn’t really matter what the post is about—it’s an affirmation that we do exist and are not invisible. That may seem like an inconsequential thing, but consider the fact that through the pandemic there were untold numbers of people living in complete isolation and skyrocketing statistics on depression and anxiety. And isolation still lingers for many people.

I started thinking about the people who show up on my Facebook feed regularly (recognizing that algorithms control that in ways I can’t comprehend), and a large percentage of them are women who never married or are single again. In this podcast transcript from The Gospel Coalition, the comment was made that women use social media to connect with friends and family more so than men do. For those who live alone, social media is a small point of contact to say, “I’m still here and I hope you see me.” And for those who are not working outside the home, through retirement or other reasons, there can be a real deficiency in human contact most days of the week.

Scripture has a variety of references to being seen. One is in Genesis 16 when Hagar fled from Sarai into the wilderness. God speaks to her and her response is, “You are the God who sees me… I have now seen the One who sees me” (16:13 NIV). Another time, when Israel is suffering in bondage in Egypt, we’re told, “God saw the people of Israel—and God knew” (Ex. 2:25).

Jesus was also keen to see and reach out to people who were suffering and who lacked connection in the community.

• Matthew 9:20-22 – “And behold, a woman who had suffered from a discharge of blood for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His garment… Jesus turned, and seeing her He said, ‘Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.”
• Luke 7:12-15 – “As He drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother… And when the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her… And He said, ‘Young man, I say to you, arise.’ And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother.”
• Luke 13:11-12 – “And behold, there was a woman who had had a disabling spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not fully straighten herself. When Jesus saw her, He called her over and said to her, ‘Woman, you are freed from your disability.’”
• John 5:5-6 – At the pool of Bethesda, “One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be healed?’”

Sometimes the church is not so good at seeing the suffering and lonely individuals in our midst. In many churches, the only time we acknowledge sorrow is at funerals. Our worship services rarely include songs of lament, and prayer times often only include physical needs. In his book Finding Jesus in the Storm: The Spiritual Lives of Christians with Mental Health Challenges, John Swinton writes:

“If our liturgical practices do not take onboard the full breadth of human experiences, our formation will be incomplete… ‘We don’t name, we don’t lift up mental illness in our litany of concerns, so people feel invisible.’ The suggestion that some people may become invisible in worship is deeply troubling. If… some among us ‘disappear’ because of the shape of our worship practices, then all of us are failing in our task to honor God and to love our neighbor” (208-209).

Whether it’s in our church services or in daily life, to be the Body of Christ we need to follow Jesus' example of truly seeing those around us and making sure they don’t fall through the cracks and disappear.

“If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Cor. 12:26).

***

© 2022 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images are copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Do You Know?

Do you know
Christians suffer,
sorrow remains,
Satan attacks,
sin makes us stumble?

Do you know
life hurts,
joy wanes,
hope hides,
pain silences praise?

Do you know
unanswered questions,
unrealized desires,
unspoken needs,
the high stakes of suffering?

Do you know
the doubt,
the aloneness,
the discomfort,
of life torn apart?

Do you know
grace is not
always rescue,
but power
to keep enduring?

Do you know
it takes courage
to gather
with joyful saints
and overcomers?

Do you know
we need
sacred spaces,
scars seen,
lament welcomed?

Do you know
sorrow comes
before joy,
we ache for the
coming kingdom?

Do you know
salvation comes
from God,
not self-sufficiency
and striving?

Do you know
Jesus willingly
accepted suffering,
the Spirit
groans on our behalf?

Do you know
you are never
too broken,
too needy
for Christ’s kingdom?

Do you know
we are
formed by affliction,
shaped by suffering,
conformed to the image of Christ?

Do you know
we are
canvases of
God’s art,
reflecting our Savior?

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed” (1 Pet. 4:12-13).

***

Inspired by thoughts from chapter 9 of This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers, by K. J. Ramsey: “We will have suffering in this world, and as we courageously endure it, the whole church will better know the sustaining power and presence of Christ.”

© 2022 Dawn Rutan text and image. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.