Redeeming Singleness

Barry Danylak published Redeeming Singleness in 2010. As I was reading his extensive survey of Scripture and theology, something came to my attention although he did not exactly address it in this way.

The Old Testament opens with the command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28) followed by “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24 ESV). That is soon followed by various genealogical listings. In contrast, the New Testament opens with a genealogy pointing to the One born of a virgin, and He never married or had biological children. The new command Jesus gave was “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…” (Matt. 28:18). Those facts alone illustrate the nature of the new covenant initiated by Jesus Christ. It is no longer about bearing biological children to fill the earth and carry on the family name. Instead it is about becoming spiritual children of the One True God and teaching others to do the same. This can be illustrated by the chiastic structure:

• Creation
• Command- “Be fruitful and multiply”
• Marriage with children
• Heritage
• Children without marriage
• Command- “Go and make disciples”
• New Creation

I’m sure much more could be said on that, but I’m not prepared to write my own book. On a related note, Danylak wrote:

“There is sometimes a tendency, especially among the idealistic young who presume to have most of their years yet before them, that singleness is a temporary period of one’s life until one finds an eternal soul mate in marriage. This passage [Luke 20:34-36] is a reminder that in the scope of eternity the opposite is actually the case; marriage is for a season and time, until, as the traditional marriage vow reads, ‘death do us part.’ It is as single and free individuals that we will stand before his throne and live for all eternity” (165).

Danylak spends most of his final chapter focusing on Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7. I appreciated his comments on the gift of singleness, in particular because I’ve heard others argue an opposite position (and I may have agreed with them at times). He wrote:

“A spiritual gift is not a talent or bestowment for one’s personal benefit but a divine enablement given for the mutual benefit of strengthening the substance and mission of the church… In view of both Paul’s and Jesus’ statements, we can define the charisma of singleness this way: The charisma of singleness is a Spirit-enabled freedom to serve the King and the kingdom wholeheartedly, without undue distraction for the longings of sexual intimacy, marriage, and family…

“[The] gift of singleness is not simply the situation or status of being unmarried. Unless one marries the day after puberty, one will inevitably live part of his or her life as a single person. There are some who may have to live their entire lives as single people, without the gift of singleness—not ever finding a suitable mate. As we noted earlier, Jesus recognized that some are eunuchs not because they chose to be but because of factors outside their control. However, those who have the gift of singleness can remain single by choice.

“Paul is not suggesting that both singleness and marriage are spiritual gifts… [Marriage] does not entail special manifestation of the Spirit for edifying God’s people and serving the kingdom of God… Moreover, suggesting that marriage is a gift complementary to singleness leaves those who are single involuntarily in an ambiguous state. They do not have the ‘gift’ of marriage, but neither do they have the ‘gift’ of singleness, as their desire is to be married” (199-201).

Or as Sam Allberry put it, “What if someone is married but decides they don’t have the ‘gift’ of marriage?” Even if others disagree, it is worth thinking about whether our beliefs about marriage and singleness are based on scriptural principles or not.

“…The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit…” (1 Corinthians 7:34b).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Addicted to Sin

Sometimes I hear the stories of young people who struggle with drug or alcohol addictions and others who repeatedly make bad choices regardless of the consequences. It is easy to be judgmental and think, “Why can’t they just get their act together and stop it?!” But then I start looking at my own life and see the same patterns at work, just in less visible ways. My sin is no better than theirs just because people don’t know about it and I’m not breaking any laws.

Sin is sin. In many ways, it doesn’t really matter what temptations we struggle with, because the answer is always to be found in salvation in Jesus Christ and through the transforming work of the Holy Spirit. We all need God’s grace and mercy constantly. Even if we get rid of the outward sins, there are still internal sins in our thoughts and attitudes. There will always be something that needs confessed and forgiven as long as we’re on this earth. The truth is we’re all addicted to sin in one way or another.

I frequently wrestle with verses such as these:

• “Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God” (1 Peter 4:1-2 ESV).
• “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous… No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God” (1 John 2:1, 3:9).
• “We know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin… Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:6, 12).

It can be really discouraging to fall (or jump) into sin once again and then wonder, “If I’m really a Christian and have the Holy Spirit, why don’t I have this mysterious power to obey like the Bible says?” I find a lot more in common with Paul’s words in Romans 7:18-20 and following:

“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sins that dwells in me.” 

This is the Christian dilemma—we know what is right, we desire to do good, we take all the steps we can think of to prevent sin, and yet we still do it. It doesn’t seem to matter how many Bible verses we memorize, how many sermons we listen to, or how many Christian songs we sing. In Paul’s case, it didn’t matter how much Spirit-inspired Scripture he wrote, how many people he converted, or how much he suffered for his faith, he still found ways to sin. (I disagree with those who claim that Romans 7 was describing Paul’s pre-converted state. In Philippians 3:6 he said he was blameless in regard to the law prior to his conversion.) It may be both discouraging and encouraging to know that even someone as zealous as the Apostle Paul faced the same struggle we have.

No matter how hard we try, we aren’t going to reach sinlessness in this life. But the good news is that God knows all that and He loves us anyway. As Brennan Manning used to say,

“Do you believe that God loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity—that He loves you in the morning sun and in the evening rain—that He loves you when your intellect denies it, your emotions refuse it, your whole being rejects it? Do you believe that God loves without condition or reservation and loves you this moment as you are and not as you should be but you’re never going to be as you should be?”

And in love He provided mercy and forgiveness for our sins through the blood of Jesus Christ. Let us lean into His love.

“I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for His name’s sake… By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before Him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything” (1 John 2:12, 3:19-20).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Joy Unending

I had an unusual experience this week. I’m a little hesitant to share it, but hopefully my friends will understand. This was the culmination of multiple conversations and events in recent days. Here’s a little of the background...

In our chapel service at the office on Wednesday we were talking about Genesis 3:1-13 where the serpent asked Eve “Did God really say...?” And Eve and Adam decided that even though God commanded them not to eat of the tree, He must not have had their best interests at heart, and they wanted something more than the paradise He had provided. Immediately after that discussion, I read the daily devotion from Truth for Life, “The Deep Cost of Sin.” Charles Spurgeon wrote:

“Did sin ever yield you real pleasure? Did you find solid satisfaction in it? If so, go back to your old drudgery, and wear the chain again, if it delights you. But inasmuch as sin never gave you what it promised to bestow but deluded you with lies, do not be snared by the old fowler: Be free, and let the memory of your enslavement prevent you from entering the net again!”

Later in the day I revisited a post on Desiring God, “Sin Will Never Make You Happy.” John Piper wrote:

“If my thirst for joy and meaning and passion are satisfied by the presence and promises of Christ, the power of sin is broken... The fight of faith is the fight to stay satisfied with God.”

Then at the end of the day I was meditating on Psalm 16:11 (ESV): “You make known to me that path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures evermore.” Part of my prayer was: “Father, I believe this by faith even though the flesh tells me it is not true... Help me refute the lies of the enemy with the sword of the Spirit...” I admit I was wishing for some kind of experiential “proof” to confirm what I know by faith.

All of that was on my mind as I fell asleep and started to dream. In my dream, I was dying of kidney failure. (I’m not sure how I knew that.) As my physical life was ending and I was unconscious to the world, I was fully conscious of God. I could only see light increasing around me. As it grew, I was suddenly overwhelmed with waves of gratitude and joy and peace. I couldn’t help expressing my thanks—for painless death; for God receiving me with love; for His sufficiency; for the ways He had kept me from sin; and much more. At the same time, I was feeling what I can only describe as delightful tingling in every cell of my body. The whole experience was beyond any earthly comparison.

I woke up, and after a brief disappointment that life still went on as usual, I was deeply grateful for the memory I retained of that dream. I remembered the story Dennis Jernigan shared in the intro to his song “Sweep Over Me” of Charles Finney feeling waves of love coming over him. (Listen to the story and song here or read more of Finney’s story here.) That song stayed on my mind as I went back to sleep.

I’m not trying to interpret Scripture in light of experience, but I will say this: when we as Christians come to the end of life and enter God’s presence, it will all be worth it—every trial and struggle, every persecution or challenge, every time we’ve said no to sin, even every time we’ve found forgiveness in Christ. The Word assures us that this is true. It will be worth it all because of the “surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus” as Lord and Savior (Philippians 3:8).

Even as the intensity of the dream fades, I hope I will remember it as a little extra fuel for the endurance race of this life. I want to continually remind myself that living for God and obeying Him will always reap greater rewards than any sin that might tempt me. Only He can provide eternal life and pleasures forevermore. I only had a small glimpse of what that might be like, and I know that the reality will far surpass anything I can imagine.

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Sowing the Eternal

Peter Kreeft’s book Back to Virtue has some good thoughts that are worth mulling over:

“God often withholds from us the grace to avoid a lesser sin because we are in danger of a greater sin. To avoid pride, he sometimes lets us fall into lust, since lust is usually obvious, undisguised, and temporary, while pride is not” (168).

At first glance, this doesn’t seem to make sense. Why would God allow one type of sin in order to keep us from another type? It almost seems to contradict James 1:13-15 (ESV), “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and He himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” James makes it clear that sin always begins and ends with self, not God.

So if self is the problem, why would pride be worse than lust? After all, it can be pride that says “I deserve this pleasure” or “I can handle this temptation.” But I think the greater danger is the pride that says “I successfully fought that temptation by myself,” and thereby denies God all the glory. He is less concerned about sins that cause us to cry out to Him for mercy and grace than about sins that make us think we don’t need Him. I can safely say that I don’t want to go back to the days when sin hardened my heart and drew me away from God. With a softer heart each sin hurts more, but it causes me to run to Him and not from Him.

Kreeft quotes Samuel Smiles:

“Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny” (169).

There was a time when certain sins became so habitual that I’m sure it started to change my character, though I didn’t realize it at the time. Disdain for people, hiding my sin, building walls around my heart and my life—these weren’t harmless decisions. And reversing the process had to start with breaking down those walls to let others see that my true character was not what it appeared to be. Only from that place of vulnerability and accountability could I then break down the habits and cease the acts and thoughts underneath (or at least start to make progress against them). “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:8).

Another good quote from Kreeft:

“We are promised the great and inconceivable gift to see God face to face, just as he is... It is what we were made for, our ‘pearl of great price,’ our ‘one thing necessary’. If we only knew, we would eagerly sacrifice anything and everything in the world for this” (171-172).

That reminds me of C.S. Lewis’s comments about us “fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us” (The Weight of Glory). I confess I would like just a glimpse of that infinite, eternal joy so that the things of earth would “grow strangely dim,” but I suppose that would negate the need for faith and hope. If we could see exactly what was coming, we wouldn’t have to trust that God will one day make all our obedience worthwhile.

Recently I have returned to an old practice of praying through the armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-17) before I start my day. It is a reminder to me that I can’t do this alone. I have also found encouragement from Isaiah 41:10:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

God will strengthen us for the battle if we will keep turning to Him. He will help us and protect us by His grace and for His glory. And when we do fall, as we often will, it is His righteousness that upholds us and not our own failed attempts at righteousness.

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness...” (Isaiah 61:10).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Behold the Lamb

John the Baptist, when he saw Jesus coming toward him said, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world” (John 1:29 ESV). He is the only one who directly referred to Jesus as the Lamb of God. The Apostle John in Revelation 5:6 described Jesus as the Lamb that had been slain. Back in Genesis, when Abraham was taking Isaac to sacrifice him as God had commanded, told his son, “God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering” (Gen. 22:8). Jesus is God’s sacrificial Lamb because only God can provide the permanent, perfect sacrifice.

The Old Testament sacrificial system was never intended to provide lasting atonement. It was simply a temporary measure to point people back to God. Jesus was the perfect sacrifice because He was the perfect man. “He has no need, like those high priests, to offer sacrifices daily, first for his own sins and then for those of the people, since He did this once for all when He offered up Himself” (Hebrews 7:27). “For the death He died He died to sin, once for all, but the life He lives He lives to God” (Romans 6:10). “And by [His] will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all... For by a single offering He has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified” (Hebrews 10:10, 14). I love this reminder that sanctification is “already but not yet.”

It is divine irony that when Jesus was presented at the Temple Joseph and Mary could not afford a lamb to sacrifice, but instead offered a pair of doves in accordance with the Law (Luke 2:24 and Leviticus 12:8). I’m sure as Mary pondered these things later in life she understood that the real sacrifice that day was not her small offering but the Lamb of God given to her and given through her for the sake of the world.

“For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed” (1 Corinthians 5:7b). He became our Passover Lamb because He was first God’s Lamb. “[You] were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot” (1 Peter 1:18-19).

In the Master’s plan, the Lamb of God is also the Good Shepherd (John 10). Who can better understand the needs of the sheep than One who has walked among us, was tempted in every way as we are yet without sin, and then laid down His life for us?

“It is He who made us and we are His; we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture” (Psalm 100:3).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Just Rest

Last week I was on a spiritual retreat at the Billy Graham Training Center at the Cove. In talking with the others there, I was struck by the fact that many of us work until we drop, and we don’t actually rest until it is forced on us by the breakdown of our mental, physical, or spiritual health. It doesn’t matter whether we’re in some form of full-time ministry or not. From a CPA to an Air Force chaplain to a retired pastor, we were asking ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” We all seem to think we are too important and too busy to rest.

It also hit me that we don’t really know what spiritual rest is. We use our vacation time for visiting family, frantic trips to tourist destinations, or accomplishing projects we’ve put on the back burner. There’s nothing wrong with those things, but they aren’t restful. Even working in a ministry that has a fairly generous vacation policy, I find myself rationing out my days for the least interruption to work and the most efficient use of my time.

After a busy season of ministry, Jesus told His disciples, “‘Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while,’ for many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat” (Mark 6:31 ESV). Physical rest and leisure were on His agenda (though the crowds interrupted their plans). Luke reports that Jesus “would withdraw to desolate places and pray” (Luke 5:15). If Jesus needed regular retreats, don’t we? We can all recite Matthew 11:28: “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,” and yet we don’t actually take the time to get away with Him. A daily quiet time and weekly worship service is not enough to give rest to our souls.

There has been a movement to restore the concept of sabbaticals to the church, and that’s a good thing. However, even in churches where that does not seem possible, I would contend that pastors still need to schedule a regular time of spiritual renewal at least every year. Even if it is just one week away from the church and without any interruptions, they need to come away and rest and seek spiritual renewal. And I think all of us could benefit from making that a part of our annual routines.

As I’m about halfway through my sabbatical, I think the lesson I most need to learn is to just rest. On the first week of my sabbatical, someone asked me why it was being called a sabbatical and whether I was working on a project. I felt guilty that the honest answer is, “No, it’s a sabbatical because the office is not supposed to be contacting me during this time.” However, the scriptural basis for the sabbatical is the Sabbath rest. It’s the academic world that has co-opted the term to make it mean something else.

Though my inclination is to keep busy doing things, I hear God saying to me, “Just relax and enjoy. Life is not about productivity and accomplishments.” [Ironically, that came to my attention soon after reading a quote from a minister who said that “God ministers His Word to us... exclusively through the Scripture,” which I think is a gross oversimplification.] He gave us the Sabbath to set apart time for Him. It’s not meant to be a day of planning, preparation, and productivity, but of rest. “On the seventh day He rested,” and so can we. We can build the regular rhythm of rest into our weeks and months and years.

It’s okay to stop and rest and listen for a while. As Jesus told Martha, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42). Spiritual food is more important than physical nourishment. We need both, but we may not feel the spiritual hunger nearly as quickly as we notice our empty stomachs.

My thought for today comes from Jonny Diaz’s song, Just Breathe: “Let your weary spirit rest. Lay down what’s good and find what’s best.” Regardless of how much good we are accomplishing or how many people we are pleasing, we need to stop and rest and seek God’s best. We might be surprised by what we hear from Him.

“Stand by the roads and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls” (Jeremiah 6:16b).

“Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you” (Psalm 116:7).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Photo by Dawn Rutan: Camp Dixie, Fayetteville, N.C.

Thoughts on Thoughts

On a recent read through Philippians, I happened to notice how often Paul refers to the way we think.

1:9-10 (ESV)- “And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.”

2:2, 5- “Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind... Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”

3:10, 13- “That I may know Him... But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.”

3:15- “Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.”

3:19- “Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.”

4:8-9- “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

The way that we think is important to God, and what we think about depends largely on what we put into our minds. When Paul wrote these words, I’m sure he could never have imagined the wide variety and instantly accessible media we have today. From where I’m sitting by a lake right now, I can access the world through my phone. We have a constant temptation to use our time and brains for unprofitable things.

That’s one of the things that I’ve been convicted of lately. As I’ve been on sabbatical, I’ve had much more limited access to television than usual. I haven’t really missed it, because I’ve had other things to keep me occupied. But I know when I return to my usual schedule I will have to be careful not to get back into the same old habits. It’s just so easy to turn on the TV for background noise while I am doing other things like reading or writing. What I’ve realized though is how distracting it actually is to try to multitask. As others have pointed out, we can’t really multitask. All we can do is switch our attention rapidly from one thing to another.

While it seems like a harmless habit, there is very little on TV that qualifies under Paul’s admonition to think about things that are true, honorable, pure, lovely, etc. Even when we try to filter what we watch, there is a lot that is unworthy of our attention. I don’t want to get legalistic about it, but I know I need to set some boundaries on how I use my time and attention. I tend to go through phases of cutting things out then letting them creep back in over time. I am being reminded that God usually speaks in a still, small voice, and I’m not likely to hear Him if I’m constantly bombarded with other voices and media.

Even my “quiet times” can be fragmented by trying to do too many different things. I don’t often read an entire book of the Bible in one sitting, so it’s not surprising that I hadn’t previously noted Paul’s repeated comments on thoughts before. In particular I saw the contrast between 3:19 and 4:8-9, setting our minds on earthly things or on eternal things. Paul makes the same parallel in Romans 8:5, “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.” So then, why do we who have the Spirit choose to set our minds on earthly things so often? That’s a question that we may prefer to avoid unless we really want to make changes in our lives. I can see why some people will go so far as to get rid of their television. I’m not ready to take that step, but I will seriously consider what I can do to reduce the amount of “earthly input” I’m getting as compared to spiritual input.

Something to think about!

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ” (3:8).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.