In our chapel service at the
office on Wednesday we were talking about Genesis 3:1-13 where the serpent asked
Eve “Did God really say...?” And Eve and Adam decided that even though God commanded
them not to eat of the tree, He must not have had their best interests at
heart, and they wanted something more than the paradise He had provided.
Immediately after that discussion, I read the daily devotion from Truth for
Life, “The Deep Cost of Sin.” Charles Spurgeon wrote:
“Did sin ever yield you real pleasure? Did you find solid
satisfaction in it? If so, go back to your old drudgery, and wear the chain
again, if it delights you. But inasmuch as sin never gave you what it promised
to bestow but deluded you with lies, do not be snared by the old fowler: Be
free, and let the memory of your enslavement prevent you from entering the net
again!”
Later in the day I revisited a
post on Desiring God, “Sin Will Never Make You Happy.” John Piper wrote:
“If my thirst for joy and meaning and passion are
satisfied by the presence and promises of Christ, the power of sin is broken...
The fight of faith is the fight to stay satisfied with God.”
Then at the end of the day I
was meditating on Psalm 16:11 (ESV): “You make known to me that path of life;
in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures
evermore.” Part of my prayer was: “Father, I believe this by faith even though
the flesh tells me it is not true... Help me refute the lies of the enemy with
the sword of the Spirit...” I admit I was wishing for some kind of experiential
“proof” to confirm what I know by faith.
All of that was on my mind as I
fell asleep and started to dream. In my dream, I was dying of kidney failure.
(I’m not sure how I knew that.) As my physical life was ending and I was
unconscious to the world, I was fully conscious of God. I could only see light
increasing around me. As it grew, I was suddenly overwhelmed with waves of
gratitude and joy and peace. I couldn’t help expressing my thanks—for painless
death; for God receiving me with love; for His sufficiency; for the ways He had
kept me from sin; and much more. At the same time, I was feeling what I can
only describe as delightful tingling in every cell of my body. The whole
experience was beyond any earthly comparison.
I woke up, and after a brief
disappointment that life still went on as usual, I was deeply grateful for the
memory I retained of that dream. I remembered the story Dennis Jernigan shared
in the intro to his song “Sweep Over Me” of Charles Finney feeling waves of
love coming over him. (Listen to the story and song here
or read more of Finney’s story here.) That song stayed on my mind as I went back to sleep.
I’m not trying to interpret Scripture
in light of experience, but I will say this: when we as Christians come to the end of life and enter God’s presence, it will all be worth it—every trial and
struggle, every persecution or challenge, every time we’ve said no to sin, even
every time we’ve found forgiveness in Christ. The Word assures us that this is
true. It will be worth it all because of the “surpassing worth of knowing
Christ Jesus” as Lord and Savior (Philippians 3:8).
Even as the intensity of the
dream fades, I hope I will remember it as a little extra fuel for the endurance
race of this life. I want to continually remind myself that living for God and
obeying Him will always reap greater rewards than any sin that might tempt me.
Only He can provide eternal life and pleasures forevermore. I only had a small
glimpse of what that might be like, and I know that the reality will far
surpass anything I can imagine.
“For this light momentary
affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all
comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that
are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are
unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).
© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright
free from pixabay.com.
