Thinking About Thoughts

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14 ESV). I have to confess that this can be a challenging verse for me. Not so much the first part, because I generally keep my mouth shut, but the meditation of my heart can be problematic. I was reading a book recently that mentioned the loss of self-control that occurs in some Alzheimer’s patients, and they start saying whatever comes to mind. It was kind of a wake-up call since I could easily be in that same boat in the future. And if I want my words then to reflect a pure heart, I better work on cleaning up my thoughts now.

It’s a tricky area. Everyone has thoughts that pop up seemingly out of nowhere. We may not be able to stop that from happening, but we can certainly decide whether or not we are going to dwell on them. It’s easy to rationalize that thoughts don’t really matter because they aren’t hurting anyone. But Jesus said that lustful thoughts are as sinful as lustful acts, and angry thoughts are as sinful as murder (Matthew 5:21-30). Philippians 4:8 tells us the kind of things we should think about: true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, praiseworthy. But if you’re like me the first thought is: “There aren’t that many good things to think about in this world!” Then the second thought is: “I have to figure out what to do about this problem I’m facing.”

I think there are ways to mull over a problem prayerfully, seeking God’s wisdom, but I also know how quickly such thoughts can degenerate into a rehearsal of everything that has gone wrong and anxiety about what else could go wrong. It requires a vigilance and consciousness of the direction your mind is heading.

This past weekend at our regional women’s retreat, I was thinking about this as I revisited Psalm 139. I realized that although I may not physically “make my bed in Sheol” or “dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,” my mind can still take me places that are better left unvisited. But even there, God is with me and desires to lead me out. I rewrote Psalm 139 for myself from that perspective, though I can’t share it publicly because it is too personal.

Though I haven’t yet mastered “taking every thought captive” when my mind is wandering down the wrong paths, I do know that it requires ongoing prayer. The first part of the prayer is “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24). Another key piece is found in verse 17, “How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!” I pray that God will make that true more and more frequently as time goes by. I want to be captivated by God’s thoughts and God’s Word, but sometimes I’m just not. Sometimes I want distraction and an escape from reality. I don’t want to have to work on self-control, and it would be nice if our brains came with a remote control that could delete channels from the menu. But that’s not how God made us. He made us to learn and grow one choice at a time. As Candy Hall mentioned at our retreat, He cares about each step we take and He celebrates each milestone of spiritual growth. I may not be where I want to be or where I think I should be, but I am moving in the right direction by His grace.

“The Lord knows the thoughts of man, that they are but a breath. Blessed is the man whom You discipline, O Lord, and whom You teach out of Your law” (Psalm 94:11-12).

Limping Together

I recently shared this quote on Facebook: “Our calling, however, is often shaped as much by our weaknesses as by our strengths. We tend to run with our strengths and avoid those people and tasks that expose our weaknesses. But the story of God is not a saga of human potential; it is the revelation of the kindness and passion of the Father who seeks and redeems sinners. Therefore, our strengths may help us with certain tasks and opportunities, but it is our frailty and sin that make known the glory of God’s story” (Dan Allender, Leading with a Limp, 149-150).

One of the points that Allender makes is that leaders tend to hide their weaknesses in order to project a certain image, but weaknesses have a way of coming out. Though he doesn’t say this directly, I’ve observed that times of organizational transition reveal the weaknesses of all those in leadership more so than their strengths. When the organization is operating normally, everyone plays to their strengths and keeps their weaknesses hidden behind the facade of competency. But when change comes, many people are forced out of their comfort zones. Pride and a sense of entitlement emerge. Fear of loss and distrust of management creep out of the woodwork. The mistakes that have been made become more obvious and get rehashed. Decisions that were previously put off reach crisis mode.

Allender writes: “What is most obvious to others are our most common ways of failing to love—the unique style that rises to the surface during times of shame, hurt, fear, or criticism” (174). As with the rest of life, it’s often easier to see and criticize the faults of others than to deal with our own (Matthew 7:3-5).

Two questions come to mind:

1) Are we going to own up to our weaknesses as leaders, churches, and organizations? The answer to that question assumes that we actually know and understand what those weaknesses are. The discovery process may be a painful one. The criticism that the church is full of hypocrites comes because we aren’t willing to live authentically in our weakness.

2) Once the time of transition passes, are we each going to go back behind the facade of strength or will we embrace our weaknesses as a path for God’s strength to be revealed? Trusting, loving relationships require ongoing honesty. Working together effectively as the Body of Christ depends on knowing one another’s strengths and weaknesses.

The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 1:26-27 (ESV): “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong.” The standard of the world is to focus on strengths, regardless of what God may want to do through our weaknesses. “God, however, loves to use our strengths to get us into situations where our weaknesses are exposed and used for his glory” (187). God doesn’t intend for us to live entirely in our own strength, because that doesn’t bring Him glory.

Our weakness is the playing field for His strength to be revealed.

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

© 2015 Dawn Rutan

To Do Or Not To Do

Modern life, particularly in America, is often perceived as a series of goals to achieve: go to school, graduate, get a job, get married, have a family, help them reach their goals, retire, relax, the end. It seems like we treat spiritual life the same way: get saved, be baptized, go to church, learn a bit, die and go to heaven, the end. But that’s not how it’s supposed to work. Jillian Willis says of the walk of faith, “It is a journey, not a destination. Do not feel you have to be perfect in it” (Sing Over Me: A Women’s Devotional through the Psalms).

This goal-oriented way of thinking presents a problem when our goals aren’t being met on our schedule or the schedule we think God has in mind. In school we’re told that if we put in the hard work and apply ourselves to learning we’ll receive rewards in the form of scholarships or better jobs, resulting in higher earnings and a more affluent lifestyle. So we try to apply the same logic to spiritual growth: “If I put time and effort into all the spiritual disciplines, I’ll be happier, more productive, and be blessed with many rewards.” While there is some truth to that, the elements of cause and effect are not that clear in Scripture. Both internal and external circumstances can interfere, such as unemployment, the sins of ourselves or others, health problems, and so on.

Willis brings it down to the daily level, “I feel the need to be ‘productive’ every day. In my mind productivity doesn’t include relationships, it includes checking off items on my ‘to do’ list.” I can identify with that. My office calendar has items to check off each day or week. If a day has many items listed, I feel pressured to make sure I get them all done before I go home. But if the day has nothing listed, I feel like I’m wasting time that could be better spent somehow. The worst days are the ones with many scheduled tasks that get interrupted by unscheduled tasks.

It is convicting to realize that Jesus never hurried to get something done, and He didn’t bypass relationships because He had something else to do. However, He knew His priorities and sometimes had to state them clearly: “Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out” (Mark 1:38 ESV). “Behold, I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I finish My course… for it cannot be that a prophet should perish away from Jerusalem” (Luke 13:32-33). Where our agendas include tasks, His agenda is people. If the agenda is to do a job, we need to know what, how, when, and where. But if the agenda is relationships, all we need to know is who.

Some days I just need the reminder that it’s not all about my lists. God may have someone or something that’s not on my schedule for today, or some life destination that isn’t on my map. He has a tendency to take His disciples through Samaria and through valleys we might otherwise choose to avoid. His agenda is to draw people close so that He can carry us through.

“You have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place” (Deuteronomy 1:31).

© 2015 Dawn Rutan

Once and Again

Last night I got to thinking about Joshua 24:15 (ESV), “Choose this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” We tend to fall into the trap of thinking that following God is a one-time decision rather than a daily choice. I’m not referring to the debate about whether a person can lose their salvation, but about the way we choose to live our lives day by day.

We can get sidetracked when we think of the spiritual disciplines as a one-time choice. We can choose whether to spend time in the Word and prayer, and we can choose our level of involvement with a local church. How many people think that reading the Bible occasionally or hearing a sermon once a week is all that’s really needed? I would question whether those people are actually following Christ if they only make that choice one day out of seven. Even if they do receive eternal salvation, they are missing out on the blessings of pursuing God every day.

Obedience is also a choice. Some days it is an hourly choice or even moment by moment. When temptation comes, we can choose to believe that God will provide endurance and escape one minute at a time (1 Corinthians 10:13). In a way, it is a relief to stop thinking “I have to endure for the rest of my life,” and to start thinking “I just have to make it through this minute… now this minute… now this one.”

As we’ve been learning about spiritual wisdom in recent sermons from 1 Corinthians 2, it is both convicting and enlightening to realize that seeking wisdom needs to be a constant choice as well. The news is full of celebrity pastors who neglected to choose wisely in one area or another, or they are relying on human wisdom more than God’s wisdom. Though they may not be caught in outright sin, they may be dogmatically clinging to a particular interpretation of Scripture that is not necessarily proven to be true. Every church and denomination feels at some level that they are right and others are wrong, but some are more proudly dogmatic than they should be.

Paul wrote, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). MacLaren’s Exposition of this verse says:

“That transformation is no sudden thing, though the revolution which underlies it may be instantaneous. The working out of the new motives, the working in of the new power, is no mere work of a moment. It is a lifelong task till the lump be leavened.”

Similarly in Philippians 2:12-13: “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” The choice to turn to Christ for salvation may be a one-time event, but working it out in daily life is one choice after another.

God keeps on saying to us, “Choose this day whom you will serve, and this hour, and this moment, and this second. Keep choosing as often as it takes. Choose Me; choose life; choose health; choose obedience; choose holiness; choose wisdom.”

Women in Ministry

This is a subject I’ve studied and wrestled with for years, but one I’ve avoided writing about before because I don’t want to offend anyone. I’ll admit up front that I’m biased by the fact that my grandmother was an ordained minister. She was never the hired pastor, but she worked alongside my grandfather and filled the pulpit for him on occasion. She was well-respected and humble. My own educational background of Bible college and seminary led me to believe that women can have any and all of the same spiritual gifts that men can have. And from a purely personal perspective, I know the feeling that arises when someone says “You can’t do that because you’re a woman.” Call it pride or rebellion if you like, but for many people that’s a reality that is not easily dismissed.

On the theological side, I’ve read all the arguments for and against women in particular ministry roles. There are highly educated people on both sides, and it’s not my intention to say who is right and who’s wrong or to debate with anyone. (A few resources are listed below.) It’s an area that is far greyer than many people would like. The relevant Scriptures have been interpreted quite differently by each side with what usually appears to be logical support. God could certainly have inspired Scripture differently if He wanted this issue to be clear cut.

(As a side note, for those who claim “The Bible is our only rule of faith,” do you have deaconesses, trustees, a church board, property and facilities, and denominational structures? In many cases it seems like church governance is determined more by historical precedent than Scripture. So we’re carrying a double standard before we even get to the debated questions of deacons and elders, pastors, or women in ministry.)

Having said all that, I still find conflict within myself on the roles of women in the church. When the local Methodist church announced the new female pastor who was arriving, my first thought was, “I’m glad I don’t go there.” I would be uncomfortable sitting under the pastoral authority of a woman as a preacher or as a counselor. (I would have trouble being Methodist and accepting their denominational structure too, but that’s another issue.) What it boils down to for me is that while I think women can hold the same positions as men, that doesn’t mean they should do so in all circumstances. Every church body is different, and what works in one place may not work in another. I would also be uncomfortable attending a church where the pastor has visible tattoos and wears cut-offs while preaching, though he or she has the right to do so.

“‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor” (1 Corinthians 10:23-24). This is where the rubber meets the road. There are many people on both sides of the issue who are so adamant about their position that they’ve lost sight of the reason the Church exists. The purpose of the Church is not to espouse women’s rights or to subjugate women. It’s not about proper dress code or obeying the letter of the law. (Jesus had some choice words for the Pharisees in that regard.) The Church exists to spread the good news of Jesus Christ so that as many as possible may come to saving faith in Him, thereby glorifying God for eternity. God can use men, women, children, sunsets, and starfish to draw people to Himself.

The question we should be asking is not whether a woman should ever be allowed to preach, but whether our church body is prayerfully and humbly seeking God’s guidance as to how we should minister right now to the people and situations He has put on our doorstep. That’s probably enough to keep us busy until the Second Coming.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

Beyond Sex Roles, Gilbert Bilezikian

Women in Ministry: Four Views

Women, Authority & the Bible, Alvera Mickelsen

Prayers from the Parking Lot

I’m reading a short book called Prayers from the Pews: The Power of Praying for Your Church, by Teri Lynne Underwood, and one thing I often do while jogging around the church parking lot is to pray for our church. So I thought I would share one area I’ve been praying about lately, along with a few Scriptures that have come to mind:

“Finally, brothers, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may speed ahead and be honored, as happened among you, and that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men. For not all have faith. But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one” (2 Thessalonians 3:1-3 ESV).

Lord, I hate the fact that we live in a world where we have to write all kinds of policies and procedures for church bodies to try to protect ourselves from legal action, though I am thankful that in our nation we are not yet seeing the level of persecution that many of our brothers and sisters around the world are facing. There are all kinds of external forces and internal divisions, all caused by the evil one and all for the purpose of drawing people away from faith in You. We know that nothing in this world can protect us from every harm. The only insurance that is 100% effective is found in You through faith.

“Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who have an anxious heart, ‘Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you’” (Isaiah 35:3-4).

Please grant wisdom and discernment to Your church and the leadership of our congregation so that we may act in accordance with Your Word and live without fear. We know that ultimately we are only accountable to You. Where there are divisions, bring unity. Where people are living in sin, bring conviction and repentance. Where there are wounded and confused people, bring healing. May we truly live as the Body of Christ on earth.

 “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:7-10).

“May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ” (2 Thessalonians 3:5).

Testing Wisdom

I’ve been thinking about Sunday’s sermon from 1 Corinthians 2 on the wisdom that comes from God, and at the same time the first chapter of James has been on my mind as I’ve been reading Warren Wiersbe’s study of James in Be Mature. The first few verses of James contain the reminder to find joy in trials because “the testing of your faith produces steadfastness,” and when steadfastness is accomplished “you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (ESV). The first thing I would note is that testing does not necessarily lead to perseverance or maturity of faith. Wiersbe comments, “If we try to go through trials without surrendered wills, we will end up more like immature children than mature adults” (p. 36). Fighting against trials or questioning God’s goodness in trials will keep us from benefitting from them.

James goes on in verses 5-8 to talk about wisdom: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God…”  I’ve heard sermons and read books that focus on these verses, but I’ve never heard anyone tie them back to verses 2-4. James just got through saying that the testing of faith when completed makes you “lacking in nothing,” and now he’s talking about lacking wisdom. So those who are lacking wisdom have not completed the process of enduring trials of faith. The flip side of that coin seems to be that asking for wisdom is tantamount to asking for the testing of faith. James says that wisdom comes to those who ask in faith and faith is matured by testing. Be careful what you ask for!

That’s not to say that God never gives wisdom without trials. King Solomon asked for and received wisdom (1 Kings 3), but he didn’t always do what he knew to be right (1 Kings 11). In general though, wisdom is obtained through experience, and I think most would agree that we learn more through difficulties than through ease and comfort. There is a reason that we associate wisdom with old age, because those who have lived many years have experienced a wide variety of challenges and have learned from them. Some of the wise men in the Bible include Daniel and Joseph, and they certainly encountered great difficulties in their lives. We don’t really need wisdom if everything in life is going smoothly.

Wiersbe makes a good point:

“Why do we need wisdom when we are going through trials? Why not ask for strength, or grace, or even deliverance? For this reason: We need wisdom so we will not waste the opportunities God is giving us to mature. Wisdom helps us understand how to use these circumstances for our good and God’s glory” (p. 38).

Justin Nash also commented on this in our office chapel service this week— James 1:17 says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights,” and God’s gifts include any trials He allows us to encounter in order to mature our faith. If God makes all things work together for good (Romans 8:28), then trials are a good gift. Wiersbe puts it this way:

“God gives only good gifts. Everything good in this world comes from God. If it did not come from God, it is not good. If it comes from God, it must be good, even if we do not see the goodness in it immediately” (p. 50).

In some ways it is discouraging to realize that wisdom comes with testing. I think we’d all like to have the right answer for every question without any effort. But that is not how God usually works. He loves us too much to let us remain immature in our faith, which should be an encouragement to us.

When we do encounter trials and need wisdom to get through them, we shouldn’t expect to have the whole map laid out before us. That would negate the need for maturing faith, which is the purpose of the trials to begin with. I know how frustrating it is when God lets the trials continue without explanation or deliverance, and it seems like wisdom ought to reveal why that’s in God’s plan. He has yet to reveal specific details like that to me, but He is showing me the bigger picture of how He works in His people.

As was said Sunday, the first step of wisdom is knowing that it’s about God. He’s not necessarily interested in giving us the perfect words to speak in a particular situation, but He does want us to know who He is and how He works. He wants us to know His character, and He is at work conforming us to the image of Christ so we will better reflect His character. That means we need to learn about forgiving others, having compassion, being gracious and merciful, etc. Those characteristics come through the wisdom developed by experiencing difficult situations, because none of us are born knowing how to love others perfectly.

This all seems to be part of a larger, ongoing lesson of God’s plan for each of His children, so this blog may be continued at some point.

“He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will board all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9).