“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be
acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14 ESV). I
have to confess that this can be a challenging verse for me. Not so much the
first part, because I generally keep my mouth shut, but the meditation of my
heart can be problematic. I was reading a book recently that mentioned the loss
of self-control that occurs in some Alzheimer’s patients, and they start saying
whatever comes to mind. It was kind of a wake-up call since I could easily be
in that same boat in the future. And if I want my words then to reflect a pure
heart, I better work on cleaning up my thoughts now.
It’s a tricky area. Everyone has thoughts that pop up
seemingly out of nowhere. We may not be able to stop that from happening, but
we can certainly decide whether or not we are going to dwell on them. It’s easy
to rationalize that thoughts don’t really matter because they aren’t hurting
anyone. But Jesus said that lustful thoughts are as sinful as lustful acts, and
angry thoughts are as sinful as murder (Matthew 5:21-30). Philippians 4:8 tells
us the kind of things we should think about: true, honorable, just, pure,
lovely, commendable, excellent, praiseworthy. But if you’re like me the first
thought is: “There aren’t that many good things to think about in this world!”
Then the second thought is: “I have to figure out what to do about this problem
I’m facing.”
I think there are
ways to mull over a problem prayerfully, seeking God’s wisdom, but I also know
how quickly such thoughts can degenerate into a rehearsal of everything that
has gone wrong and anxiety about what else could go wrong. It requires a
vigilance and consciousness of the direction your mind is heading.
This past weekend at our regional women’s retreat, I was
thinking about this as I revisited Psalm 139. I realized that although I may
not physically “make my bed in Sheol” or “dwell in the uttermost parts of the
sea,” my mind can still take me places that are better left unvisited. But even
there, God is with me and desires to lead me out. I rewrote Psalm 139 for
myself from that perspective, though I can’t share it publicly because it is
too personal.
Though I haven’t yet mastered “taking every thought captive”
when my mind is wandering down the wrong paths, I do know that it requires ongoing
prayer. The first part of the prayer is “Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and
lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24). Another key piece is found
in verse 17, “How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!” I pray that God
will make that true more and more frequently as time goes by. I want to be
captivated by God’s thoughts and God’s Word, but sometimes I’m just not. Sometimes
I want distraction and an escape from reality. I don’t want to have to work on
self-control, and it would be nice if our brains came with a remote control
that could delete channels from the menu. But that’s not how God made us. He
made us to learn and grow one choice at a time. As Candy Hall mentioned at our
retreat, He cares about each step we take and He celebrates each milestone of
spiritual growth. I may not be where I want to be or where I think I should be,
but I am moving in the right direction by His grace.
“The Lord knows the
thoughts of man, that they are but a breath. Blessed is the man whom You
discipline, O Lord, and whom You teach out of Your law” (Psalm 94:11-12).
