Draw Near

One evening recently I was asking myself as the psalmist did, "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God" (Psalm 42:5 ESV). Although I didn't have an answer for that question, I was reminded of Jesus' words in the Garden of Gethsemane: 

"My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with Me" (Matthew 26:38).

Through that I was reminded of a couple things:

1) Jesus knows every feeling we experience because He has been there too. He experienced sorrow, loss, deception, accusation, pain, torture, and death. So when it feels like no one could understand, He does. He understands what we can't even explain to ourselves. He not only watches with us, but He watches over us. 

2) Jesus asked His disciples to stay nearby and keep watch, but in their human weakness, they fell asleep on the job. Although the church today has the same calling to watch over one another, there will be many times when we fail one another. We won't hear the cry for help; we won't ask the hard questions because we don't want to intrude; we'll fall asleep when someone needs us to abide with them. 

The flip side is that sometimes we'll fail to ask for help, prayer, and encouragement when we need it. Whether we are ashamed of our neediness or we don't want to bother someone, we choose to keep silent and suffer alone. And I'll admit I'm guilty of that more often than not. 

Ed Underwood writes in When God Breaks Your Heart: "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and those who are with Him will also be near" (73). If we say we want to draw near to God, then we should accept that it may mean a broken heart for ourselves or those who are close to us. Underwood writes about the death of Lazarus in John 11 and the fact that Jesus invites the disciples to go with Him, back to the place they were nearly killed just a short time before. They could have let Jesus go alone while they remained at a safe distance. 

Jesus invites us to go near to the brokenhearted as well. Jesus ministered to many thousands of broken people through healing, feeding, raising the dead, forgiving, asking questions, and sharing the Word. Sometimes He calls us to participate in His ministry, to watch what He is doing, or simply to be present with those in need. (Even Job's friends were doing good when they came to sit with him.)

Whether or not those in the church draw near, whether or not we choose to be honest about our own needs, remember, "Friend, Jesus isn’t ignoring your pain; He’s feeling it. He’s not ashamed of your tears; He’s weeping with you" (Underwood, 134).

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 146:3).

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8a).

© Dawn Rutan 2016. Photo by Dawn Rutan. 

A Wanderer No More

I wasn't going to post this since I've written similar things recently, but it occurred to me that if an idea is repeatedly stirring in my mind, it is probably doing the same to other folks.  So here's what's on my mind:

In Prone to Love, Jason Clark talks about the line in the hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" that says "prone to wander, Lord, I feel it; prone to leave the God I love." He says that this should not be the testimony of a Christian. He writes:

"Because of Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection, and because I have said yes to Him, I am no longer prone to wander. Just the opposite, I am prone to love Him! The moment I said yes to Jesus, my very nature underwent a radical transformation" (164).

He lists several Scriptures to support this point:

• Romans 6:11 (ESV) "So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus."

• Colossians 3:3 "For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."

• 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

• Ephesians 4:24 "Put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."

• 1 John 3:9 "No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him, and he cannot keep on sinning because he has been born of God."

The truth is that believers are no longer sinners prone to wander, but saints who have been set free from sin's dominion. Yes, we will still wander at times, but that is not our natural tendency anymore. Our new nature is inclined to love God and serve Him if we will listen to the new Master. 

I was thinking about this last Sunday as we celebrated communion, and I was reminded of what the Apostle Paul wrote:

"Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life" (Romans 6:3-4).

I've wrestled with Clark's comments. I have often sung "prone to wander" with great feeling. But I can see how that binds me and blinds me to think of myself in wrong terms. (I was prepared to skip that line when we sang the hymn this week, but we sang the version below.) If I want to walk in this "newness of life," it requires retraining my brain to remember my new identity in Christ. 

This idea is hard to grasp, probably because we know old nature, and we know how difficult the struggle against sin can be. But God is reminding us we are no longer sinners. We aren't even sinners saved by grace. We are saints, citizens of the Kingdom, children of the Father, and new creations in Christ. 

"For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death" (Romans 8:2).

 

Oh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now, like a fetter,
Bind my yielded heart to Thee.
Let me know Thee in Thy fullness;
Guide me by Thy mighty hand
Till, transformed, in Thine own image
In Thy presence I shall stand.

(Authorship of this verse is unclear but is assumed to be public domain. Please notify me if you know otherwise.)

© Dawn Rutan 2016.

Freedom

I wrote the following post for our denomination's blog for Prayer Emphasis Month.

After memorizing Romans 8 last year, this year I jumped back a couple chapters to memorize Romans 6. Verse 6 in the ESV says, “We know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.” Although we all cling to that fact that our sin is forgiven because of the cross of Christ, it is harder to grasp the idea of freedom from sin’s slavery.

This world is filled with all sorts of temptations, and sometimes they seem too powerful to resist. Just one more doughnut; just one quick glimpse at that picture; just a few minutes playing that game; just a little fib… And before long we’re exclaiming with Paul, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24). The fact is that Jesus Christ has already delivered us, but we haven’t yet learned how to live as overcomers and freed men and women.

Many of us can probably quote 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” We want to believe that, but it seems like when temptation comes it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to look for the way of escape. Thomas Chalmers wrote of “the expulsive power of a new affection.” He explained that we won’t choose to turn from sin unless we are turning toward something better—toward the only One who can deliver us. Unfortunately, sin often appears to offer a quicker “fix” than seeking God.

So what is the solution? It is a lifelong process of 1) believing and remembering that God has delivered us from the power of sin, 2) seeking a closer relationship with Him through the spiritual disciplines, 3) praying for the way of escape before temptation arrives, and 4) making no provision for the flesh to choose sin. There is no quick cure because the world, the flesh, and the devil will do everything possible to derail our good intentions. Thankfully, whenever we do fail, we can turn again to the cross of Christ and the One who is ready and willing to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

© Dawn Rutan 2016. 

Blessed by Love

It's funny how God uses multiple messengers to say the same thing in different ways. This morning I read:

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-does-it-really-mean-to-be-blessed in which Vaneetha Rendall Risner reminds us that God's blessings aren't just the good things we enjoy in life, but we are blessed in and through suffering, mourning, and persecution among other difficulties. (See Matthew 5.)

I then returned to reading Prone to Love, by Jason Clark. He states:

"I am growing in my revelation regarding my Father’s heart toward me. 'Only goodness and love all the days of my life,' that’s what I say. I say it when life is a mountaintop and I am learning to say it when life is a valley. Notice the word learning. I am learning my Father doesn’t oscillate. I am learning He will not turn His back on me. He is never my torture; He is only my delight! His love is steadfast and relentless" (117).

God's love is the same whether life is good or life is hard, whether we're in pain or ecstasy, whether we live in wealth or poverty, whether we have freedom of religion or persecution, whether we're surrounded by friends and family or living in isolation. His love never changes, and that is the reason why we can say that we are blessed each and every day. His love is the true blessing. 

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever" (Psalm 23:6 ESV). This isn't just some future promise. It is true today. Goodness and mercy are with us daily, and we do dwell in His presence today. How easy that is to forget!

Going back to Risner's article, it is interesting how the prosperity gospel has subtly invaded our thinking. We look at good things as evidence of God's blessing and favor, and bad things as reflecting God's judgment or a "wake-up call." (Clark has a chapter on that too.) But God is always good, always loving, always present. We're the ones who miss seeing what He's doing, because we are looking for the wrong kinds of blessings. 

What would happen if we started changing the way we talk about what God is doing in our lives? It would certainly change the kinds of posts we see on social media. I can only speak for myself, but right now I am blessed that God is:

-walking with me through a time of physical suffering, 

-giving me new experiences of His love in the midst of pain, 

-providing time to reflect on who He is, 

-reminding me of the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ, 

-realigning my priorities away from tasks and toward people,

-forcing me to rest and wait...

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23).

© Dawn Rutan 2016. Photo by Dawn Rutan.

Do You Know I Love You?

I just started reading Prone to Love, by Jason Clark. He presents a very simple message, but one that I think many of us struggle to hear and believe: "Remember: God is always saying, 'I love you.' And He’s always asking, 'Do you believe Me?'" (52). Even if we've grown up hearing the message of God's love and we believe it intellectually, it doesn't always become heart knowledge. Once in a while I realize I've become calloused to the message. "Yeah, I know, God loves me, so what?" (That probably happens more than I even notice.) 

I'm not a big fan of the mushy "God loves me" Christian songs that seem to focus on self rather than God, but sometimes we do need to be struck again by the reminder, "Oh, how He loves me!" As Brennan Manning often quoted, "The Father is so very fond of me!"

So what? What difference does it make? I can think of several implications:

-It changes how I see God. He is not the harsh taskmaster waiting to catch me in sin or deducting points for the ministry I fail to pursue. Instead, He is a proud Father delighting in His child. 

-It changes how I see myself. I can learn to love this one for whom Christ died, extending grace instead of condemnation, finding security instead of insecurity, confidence instead of fear, contentment instead of neediness. Although I'm far from perfect, God isn't shaking His head in disappointment and frustration. 

-It changes how I see others. They are not interruptions, annoyances, victims, or enemies, but they are brothers and sisters in Christ, co-heirs of eternity, people whom I can love and invest my life in. 

Jon Bloom wrote in Don't Follow Your Heart, "Nothing exposes the depth of our sin like really seeking to love God with our entire being and loving our neighbors as ourselves (Luke 10:27)." We can't even begin to love God and others well if we don't know that He first loved us. Love is a supernatural overflow from the God who is love. It isn't an emotion, or even a choice, but the outpouring of Christ's life in us. Emotions are fleeting, and choices can be coerced, but true love has only one Source. 

I often think about the image of Jesus holding a little child. “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 19:14 ESV). Evidently children and parents were drawn to Jesus because of His love. I imagine He was kind of like the favorite camp counselor that the kids cling to. It makes me wonder what heaven will be like. Will we all be vying to get close to Jesus to hold His hand? Will there be a line of kids waiting to sit on His lap? Somehow I don't think there will be any competition or disappointment, but I can't imagine what it will be like to have free access to the One who loves us beyond measure. 

I pray that you "may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God" (Ephesians 3:18-19).

© Dawn Rutan 2016.

Non-Independence Day

I was just thinking about this verse from John 21:18 (ESV) "Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” 

My first thought was that when we're really young, we are dressed and carried by others. As we get a little older we get more freedom and control to a certain degree before the process reverses itself. But in reality, there is very little of life that is truly autonomous. Even the supposedly independent years are controlled by schedules, employers, finances, family needs, health, etc. We're constantly being carried where we do not want to go. 

Ironically, trust seems to be inversely correlated to independence. A small child trusts her parents to do all the things that she cannot do for herself. An aging adult learns to trust those who are his caregivers. In between, ideas of independence lead us to rely on ourselves for everything. We tend not to trust others and we feel ashamed if we do need help. (Just try exercising your independence when you're laying in a hospital bed hooked up to IVs!) Psychologists sometimes refer to three stages of human development as being: dependence, independence, and interdependence. I think that model may be highly influenced by Western culture.

Dana Yeakley writes in The Gentle Art of Discipling Women, "We need to recognize this: we are never in control, we were never in control, and we will never be in control. We completely deny this when things are going well. We simply do not recognize how out of control we actually are. And usually when complications arise we hope to 'regain' some control. Interesting, isn't it? The fact is that we were never in control even when life was 'normal'" (27).

There are many times in Scripture when God leads people through places they'd rather not go: out of the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:24), to an unknown land (Genesis 12:1), into Egypt (Genesis 37:28), out of Egypt and across the Red Sea (Exodus 14:11), around the wilderness (Exodus 16:3), through the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23), to Nineveh (Jonah), into the wilderness to be tempted (Mark 1:12), through Samaria (John 4:4), through the storm (Matthew 8:23)... The list goes on. The unifying reason behind each those excursions was that people would learn to trust God as the One who provides and guides. His plan for His children includes a lot more than just enjoying a comfortable life. 

The question is, how long will it take to admit our dependence and learn to trust God and one another? It seems to be a lifelong process that we often fight to the bitter end. Jesus challenges us to have faith like a little child--not naive or ignorant, but trusting that the Father always knows and does what is best. 

“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3-4). 

© Dawn Rutan 2016.

Learning Experiences

Some things can only be learned by experience I guess. Surgery and a night in the hospital have given me a much greater sympathy for those who have extended and/or repeated stays. It's not exactly a desirable event. Here are a few thoughts I've had, some of which mirror John Piper's reflections that I linked in my last blog. 

-It's humbling to suddenly be dependent on strangers for everything you need. I had to remind myself that it is not an imposition to ask for help from those who volunteer or are employed to help, and the vast majority seemed glad to do so. 

-It's not easy to be conversational when you can't string words together into a sentence. Sometimes it was all I could do to remember to say thank you. 

-When sleep is impossible, you might as well make the best of it. On sleepless nights at home I usually get frustrated because I know what is on my schedule for the next day. But in the hospital I was at peace just laying there and thinking and listening to music. (Thank God for iPhones with capacity for hours of music, plus books, email and Facebook!) I challenged myself with remembering the Scriptures I've memorized over the past year, and I enjoyed time to pray for many people and situations that came to mind. 

-It can be overwhelming to be released with a bunch of instructions but with no real idea of what to expect when you get home. How do I know if the pain pills will work or will cause side effects when I've only had IVs for two days? Doctors who go through the same spiel day after day may forget that this is all new to me. Having nurses or other people to talk to is helpful (as is Google).

-It is amazing to live in a country and time period when medical help is so readily available. Although the bills may cause a twinge of regret, it could be far worse. I could be in a place where I'd have to live with problems because help was not affordable or available. Many people die for lack of simple medicine. (Mark 5:21-43 comes to mind.) I have to be thankful as well for the quality of my hospital. 

-The prayers of friends and the presence of God are lifesaving. I am one who can get anxious about many things. But I had no fear of the surgery, being alone for the night, or even having a male nurse. God has been orchestrating this event and preparing me for it for quite some time. His timing is perfect. 

I'm sure I could think of more to add, but my brain is ready for a nap. The challenge for the weeks ahead is to remember that rest is good and that it is okay to be unproductive at times. Everything in due season. 

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV). 

© Dawn Rutan 2016. Photo by Dawn Rutan.