Faith and Fear

There is a Christian tradition that talks about the train of “Fact – Faith – Feelings,” where facts are the engine and feelings are the caboose. But this is confusing at best, and potentially misleading. (See https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/fact-faith-feeling.) I’m toying with the idea of it being like a Venn diagram where our goal is to live in the center where all three meet and inform and confirm one another, rather than taking any of them on their own. (I haven’t thought through all the implications of that approach, though I’m sure it’s not perfect.)

Some Christians teach or imply that if you have enough faith, you will never wrestle with fear or anxiety. However, this does not seem to be the teaching of Scripture. Psalm 56:3 says, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.” In his Daily Treasury from the Psalms, Charles Spurgeon wrote about this verse:

“David was no braggart—he does not claim never to be afraid, and he was no brutish stoic free from fear… He feared, but that fear did not fill the whole area of his mind, for he adds, ‘I will trust in thee.’ It is possible, then, for fear and faith to occupy the mind at the same moment… It is a blessed fear that drives us to trust. Unregenerate fear drives from God; gracious fear drives to him.”

In a similar vein, Brennan Manning wrote:

“We often presume that trust will dispel the confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case. Our trust does not bring final clarity on this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, as Jesus did on the cross, ‘Into your hands I commit my spirit’ (Luke 23:46)” (Ruthless Trust, 6).

Faith doesn’t preclude fear, but it should inform what we do with our fears. It’s easy to get lost in our feelings and forget the truths of Scripture and the promises of God. We may believe that God is present with us and is sovereign over the world, and yet still struggle to know how to trust Him in the midst of difficult circumstances.

Multiple times recently I have heard people say that in Scripture, “Do not fear” is not a command to obey but an invitation to remember God’s presence and care. He invites us to come to Him with all our fears, and to walk alongside the One whose “yoke is easy and [His] burden is light” (Matt. 11:30), rather than trying to carry our burdens alone.

I believe we can learn to turn to God with our fears, though I admit I’m not very good at that. My brain gets stuck in a vicious cycle of anxious thoughts because I want to control the outcome of some situation. I have to remind myself frequently that I am neither omnipotent nor omniscient, but I can trust the One who is. Spurgeon noted on Psalm 55, “We can have no better ground of confidence. The Lord is all, and more than all, that faith can need as the foundation of peaceful dependence. Lord, increase our faith evermore.”

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved” (Ps. 55:22).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Image edited from pixabay.com original. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Power of Place

The Power of Place, by Daniel Grothe, is a book I wish had been around 50 years ago. Perhaps it could have reduced some of the unnecessary mobility of our culture. Here are just a few quotes:

“Published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the findings suggest that ‘moving is associated with lower levels of overall wellbeing, higher stress levels, and fewer positive social relationships. Frequent moves have a particularly detrimental effect for adolescents, who’ve been shown to have lower test scores and graduation rates, fewer friends, and higher drug and alcohol use’… APA researchers discovered that ‘frequent relocations in childhood are related to poorer well-being in adulthood,’ because the participants in the study were found to have ‘fewer quality social relationships as adults’” (ch. 2).

“‘Stay put,’ Benedict said. But sadly, too many have read this as a prohibition—‘Thou shalt not leave!’—when they should have read it as a protection… There is a sort of calculus at play here that only makes sense in the kingdom of God: those who are willing to lose the freedom of a thousand different options will find they have everything they need right in front of them” (ch. 2).

“Maybe one of the least glamorous things you can do with your life is to stay in the same place with the same group of people—friends, a spouse, a handful of extended family, a local church community—for a really long time until you die. And while it is unglamorous, it may well be the most powerful this you can do” (ch. 5).

“Worship, which was always a communal act in ancient Israel’s history, has now been privatized and commoditized. We have our podcasts and YouTube channels. We have our favorite internet pastors… Indeed, we have discovered we can get our sermons and songs without having to trifle with other saints and sinners… But we must be careful not to let our technology outpace our theology. There is a sad irony: God who in Jesus became incarnate now has a people being tempted to live lives of disincarnation” (ch. 11).

As one who experienced a lot of uprooting as a child—7 changes of schools in 9 years—I can testify that it was not only not ideal, but even traumatic. Although there were some things I liked about each place we lived, I always longed for stability of place and of friendships. That contributed significantly to the fact that I have now been in the same house, same church, and same employer (though different roles) for the past 28 years.  There is much to be said for having a consistent community of support for the long haul. There have been times of conflict in community, but relationships are strengthened when people learn to work out their differences.

Loving one another is not meant to be limited to the nuclear family, nor to a short-term acquaintance. We are made to be in relationship for the long term—indeed, for eternity within the Body of Christ. I think some people imagine eternity as sitting alone with Jesus watching the sunset. I’ve only recently come to realize that one of the best things we’ll get to experience is being fully known and fully loved, not only by God but by one another (1 Cor. 13:12). After an earthly lifetime of relational disruptions, disconnections, and discontentment, it will be wonderful to simply enjoy being together without distrust or fear of loss. Imagine the depth of relationships available where there are no time constraints!

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Gal. 5:13-14).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Cover image courtesy of Amazon.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

The Any-What?

In recent years the Enneagram has become a popular tool for understanding personality differences. The name comes from the geometric figure created by the nine personality types. The origins of the system are debated, but there is some indication that parts of it go back several centuries, perhaps even to the original “seven deadly sins.” Some Christians label the Enneagram as dangerous or demonic, but that is a stretch. There are a number of Christian organizations that use the Enneagram in counseling, coaching, and teaching. However, it has also been labeled a pseudoscience because it is so subjective. My efforts here are simply to share a few observations from things I’ve read and heard from such sources.

No tool is infallible. Every personality test, spiritual gifts inventory, and aptitude test is a creation of man and therefore limited in understanding. Whether you’re using the Enneagram, Myers-Briggs, or DISC, you may find some useful information, but it’s going to miss a lot because each of us is unique. And even though it may tell you how you tend to respond to various scenarios, it probably won’t tell you why that’s the case.

It can be easy to delve so deep into understanding the tool that you don’t actually benefit from it, and you may end up wasting a lot of time that could be better spent in the spiritual disciplines. With the Enneagram in particular, there are types, subtypes, wings, and arrows that all have different meanings and implications for individuals. Some podcasters can sound quite dogmatic in describing these, as if it is a mathematical certainty that A+B+C=D for every person. All that should be taken with a grain of salt. It would be more accurate to say that every person has a bit of all nine Enneagram types, though one or two will be dominant. From those generalities, you can make some personal applications.

Personality profiles should not be used as an excuse for bad behavior or to put anyone in a box. “I’m a 5 and ISTJ, so that’s just the way I am.” At times that may be equivalent to saying, “I’m just a sinner, so leave me alone!” Your personality type does not define you, nor does it keep you from growing and changing. Knowing about your personality traits can be helpful if it shows you areas where you may need help, humility, and perhaps even repentance. It can alert you to times when you are reacting to particular situations out of anger, anxiety, or shame, rather than fully trusting God and loving others. When you are aware of your tendencies toward sin or unhealthy reactions, you can take those issues to Scripture, to God, and to other Christians who can help you learn better ways of coping with stress and temptation.

In addition, these tools can also help groups relate better to one another. We all tend to make assumptions about how others will react to a situation, and we may even try to assign motives to them. But if we remember that John is an external processor and Sue is an internal processor, we’re more likely to give them some grace when they don’t immediately agree on a plan. Or if we know Tim hates conflict and Sally needs affirmation that she’s doing a good job, we’ll try harder to encourage them as best we can.

Everyone wants to feel that they are known and loved for who they are, not shamed into trying to be something different. We also want to feel we are not alone. I was particularly encouraged by a podcast discussion between a few Enneagram 5s as they voiced things I have often thought but never dared say aloud. As C.S. Lewis put it, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.” Opening doors to deeper discussions is often a necessity in Christian community. It’s all too easy to keep one another at a distance out of fear or laziness.

God knows our hearts far better than we do, and He’s always working to conform us to the image of Christ. Personality tests may be one tool, among many others, that can point us in that direction, assuming they are used wisely and in submission to Scripture. They certainly cannot replace sound biblical teaching and counsel within the Body of Christ as God intended.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing” (1 Thess. 5:11).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Behold the Lamb

Those of us in the Christian church probably don’t give as much attention to Passover as we ought. Have you ever imagined what that night was like? God commanded that each household paint the blood of a lamb on the doorposts of the house to mark it as a home of faithful Jews. They were then to eat the lamb that night, but this was no leisurely meal.

“In this manner you shall eat it: with your belt fastened, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand. And you shall eat it in haste. It is the Lord’s Passover. For I will pass through the land of Egypt that night, and I will strike all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and on all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgments: I am the Lord. The blood shall be a sign for you, on the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and no plague will befall you to destroy you, when I strike the land of Egypt” (Ex. 12:11-13).

They were to eat it while ready to leave at a moment’s notice. They may not have had much appetite for the meal before them. Perhaps they heard a rushing wind as the destroyer came through. The Jews may have had Egyptian neighbors whose firstborn sons were dying. They may have heard the wailing increasing through the land. They probably didn’t sleep much as they wondered what the coming day would bring.

Fast forward more than a millennium, and now the disciples are celebrating Passover with Jesus, not realizing this was what would come to be known as the Last Supper. This time the meal appears to be pretty laid back. Jesus makes some odd comments about betrayal and denial and death, but the disciples don’t get it. When they go out to the Garden to pray, the disciples are relaxed enough to fall asleep. But then, quite literally, all hell breaks loose and the disciples run away to save their own skins.

Back in Egypt, God had said that the blood of a lamb was necessary to protect His people from physical death. Now at Gethsemane the Lamb of God sheds His blood to redeem His people from spiritual death. The road to the original Promised Land began with the shedding of the blood of lambs. The road to our eternal Promised Land began with the shedding of Jesus’ blood.

The first Passover was a dark night that resulted in the miraculous release of the Jews from slavery. Holy Saturday was a dark day for the disciples as they wondered what had gone wrong and what would come next. But Easter Sunday turned their sorrow and fear into rejoicing, and within just a few weeks they were proclaiming salvation through the risen Lord Jesus Christ to anyone who would believe.

We still experience some dark times in life. We still have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. But now we have the assurance that there is a glorious resurrection day coming for all who follow Christ. Because Jesus is “the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world” (Jn. 1: 29), we have the assurance that “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1). Because Jesus is our Good Shepherd who laid down His life for His sheep (Jn. 10:11), we need not fear evil and we can trust that “goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Ps. 23:6).

Thank You, Father, for providing the Lamb!

“Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let Your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Ps. 16:9-11).

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Groaning Together

A recent podcast from CCEF talked about dealing with discouragement. I appreciated it in part because they never said “Discouragement is unbiblical, so just get over it!” Instead, they spoke about it as a normal part of the Christian life in a broken world. In particular, I was encouraged by the observation that was made by Gunner Gundersen:

“I love how in Romans 8 you have the creation that is groaning in verse 22, and then in verse 23 you have, ‘we who have the first fruits of the Spirit are groaning inwardly’ for our final redemption. And then near the end, this is what’s shocking to me in verse 26, ‘the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.’ And that shared groaning, as the Spirit is interceding for us and pleading for all things to be made new finally, including us.”

In other words, groaning is normal and can even be a spiritual exercise. Now not every groan is good. Sometimes our groaning turns into grumbling. And just groaning to ourselves or to others may not necessarily be helpful. But if our groans turn us to God and His Word, then there is profit there. The things in this world that cause us to groan can be reminders to us that this world is not how it was intended to be, and one day the world and the children of God will be made new again.

The ESV Bible uses variations of the word groaning 40 times. The first appears in Exodus 2:23-24:

“During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.”

God had never forgotten the people of Israel. Verse 25 says, “God saw the people of Israel—and God knew.” He knew exactly what was happening to them, but He also knew what He was about to do to reveal His power to the world and to send them on their way to the Promised Land. God has not forgotten us either. He hears each groan and collects each tear that falls. The Holy Spirit groans along with us as He intercedes for our endurance, encouragement, and eventual deliverance from the brokenness of this world.

As we groan, we don’t know what God may be planning to do in the near future. There may be some display of His power in delivering the persecuted, or freeing those bound in sin. There could be evidence of His healing the sick in miraculous ways. Or it may be in the less visible—but no less important—sustaining power in the lives of those who are weak and weary.

I’m reminded of Joni Eareckson Tada and the decades that she has spent in a wheelchair. She has undoubtedly uttered many groans, but God continues to use her testimony to encourage people around the world. I think of many other people who may not be world famous, but they are known by their communities as those who are continuing to endure the thorns and thistles of this life even as they long for God to bring the final victory over sin, suffering, sorrow, and the grave.

I too groan and wonder what God is waiting for, but I take heart in knowing that I’m not alone. Not only are there many people in the same boat, but the Holy Spirit comes alongside us, Jesus Christ experienced the same weaknesses and suffered even to the point of death on a cross, and God the Father hears each cry and already has plans for redeeming the suffering of His saints. With the Holy Trinity on our side, we can endure a while longer, knowing that there is mercy and grace to help us in our time of need (Heb. 4:16).

“Give ear to my words, O Lord; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray... But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread Your protection over them, that those who love Your name may exult in You” (Psalm 5:1-2, 11).

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See also these songs of lament:

How Long, O Lord? by Jordan Kauflin

How Long, O Lord, How Long? by Sovereign Grace Music

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Just a Little Faith

The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you” (Luke 17:5-6, similar to a statement Jesus made about mountains in Matt. 17:20).

If you’re like me, you may be thinking “I guess I need more faith, because I haven’t moved any trees or mountains.” As I was dwelling on this lately, a few pieces came together for me. The first is that faith itself is a gift. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one my boast” (Eph. 2:8-9). We didn’t drum up the faith that saved us. God alone gets the glory for that.

In addition, God already moved the biggest mountain—our need for salvation. Our sin against the Holy God separated us from Him and led to our condemnation, but Jesus came to die on our behalf and bring us back into relationship with God. Since God has already done that, there is no mountain we need to move. He gives us the faith to believe in Him for what He has accomplished for us.

It has often been said that it’s not the size of your faith, but where your faith is placed that matters. Charles Spurgeon wrote, “Our life is found in ‘looking unto Jesus’ (Heb. 12:2), not in looking to our own faith. By faith all things become possible to us, yet the power is not in the faith but in the God in whom faith relies.” We may be tempted to place our faith in the exercise of faith rather than placing our faith in God. That may in fact be our motivation behind desiring more faith. If my faith were strong enough and visible enough, then I’d never be shaken by the uncertainties of life, right? And yet it is the testing of our faith that develops endurance. Some people may have unshakeable faith in their own egos.

A confused idea of faith can also lead us to pass judgment on those who don’t measure up to our standards. Do we think we know who has “real” saving faith? So did the Pharisees. God alone knows the heart. This article from TGC urges pastors at funerals, “Avoid casually declaring someone’s eternal destiny” (Matt. 7:21-23).” Not everyone who does great works actually has faith in God, and not everyone who appears to be irretrievably fallen is necessarily faithless.

When Paul and Silas were asked what salvation required, they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31). They didn’t say, “Believe this specific set of doctrines, work hard to get rid of all visible sin, and look like one of us, and then you will be saved.” The thief on the cross only knew enough to plead “Remember me!” and Jesus assured him of salvation (Luke 23:43).

Paul said of himself, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost” (1 Tim. 1:15). That’s present tense, not past tense—not “I was the foremost.” And John reminded us, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). So how can we set a high bar for others without condemning ourselves too? God’s grace and mercy often far exceed our own, and church culture can be intimidating for those who are different from the “norm.”

There are many factors that influence someone’s ability to look like a faithful Christian. We may be confused about doctrines. We may still fall into sin in embarrassing ways. We may struggle to manage the basic tasks of life in this world, much less engage in spiritual disciplines. But that doesn’t necessarily mean we aren’t saved. Given the number of high-profile Christian leaders who have fallen into disgrace in recent years, I don’t think most of us are very good judges of the heart of man, because we simply don’t know what’s going on beneath the surface.

Thankfully, “the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7b). Our faith may be small, but if God gave it to us then it’s all we need!

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

I Surrender

I am currently reading John Ortberg’s new book Steps: A Guide to Transforming Your Life When Willpower Isn’t Enough. It is largely based on the 12 steps commonly associated with Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery groups. As has often been noted, there tends to be more honesty and acceptance among the AA members that meet in the church basement than there is in the congregation that meets upstairs in the sanctuary. The church could learn from their example.

In Christian traditions we often think of surrender as something we do when we first come to salvation, and we forget that it is a daily choice to surrender to God. Jesus said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me” (Luke 9:23).

Martin Luther wrote that “the entire life of believers should be repentance,” not just repenting of known sins, but of constantly turning away from our self-sufficiency and trusting in Christ’s strength, grace, and mercy for all aspects of life. We are far more needy than we are often willing to admit. It is pride, and its flip side of shame, that keeps us from being honest about our many weaknesses. We think we need to be stronger than we are, so we put on our best mask before we leave the house. We keep trying to push through instead of surrendering to the fact that we can’t do anything apart from Christ. Ortberg comments:

“For most of my life I believed, without ever reflecting on it much, that I could mostly do what needs to be done... And I’ve come to realize I can’t... I can’t heal those closest to me. I can’t fix my heart. I can’t control how people think of me. I can’t make my fear go away. I can’t make my sadness go away. I can’t fix my shame or my envy or my anger. I can’t stop my awful dread of what might happen in the future... I don’t mean that I used to not be able to do those things, but now I’m strong and all is okay, and I will share with you the secret of how I did it. I mean that I cannot do it. Now. I live in that pain from one day to the next. I will never know a daily peace in my life apart from the pain that is a daily piece of my life” (“Step 1A”).

The long version of the Serenity Prayer says:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time,
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace,
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it,
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will—
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.

I don’t think most of us want to accept that hardships are the pathway to peace. But it is through hardship that we realize how dependent we are on God. We’d rather pursue fleeting happiness in this life by relying on our own ingenuity or looking for ways to numb the pain. Self-reliance cannot bring true peace because we’ll constantly be wondering whether we have the resources to make it through the next hardship. Ortberg says.

“I am prone to believe that my superior ability to think things through can handle any problem. But a common line at AA meetings is ‘Remember, your best thinking got you here’” (“Step 1C”).

I’m coming to realize (at least sometimes) how little is actually under my control. That can create anxiety, but it can also spur me to pray “OK, God, I know I can’t change this, so help me to trust that You actually are the One in control.” In my prayer journal, there is a recurring refrain of “help me remember” and “help me to trust.”

Jesus said it clearly, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Not just “apart from Me you can only do so much,” but “you can do nothing!” Maybe over time we’ll remember to start each day by surrendering our lofty, self-sufficient dreams for life and determine to walk with Jesus in the good works that He has already prepared for us (Eph. 2:10), honestly embracing our weaknesses and limitations for the glory of God.

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See also “Luther’s First Thesis and Last Words.”

© 2025 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.