Weary and Burdened

I read this last night in The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge, and it spoke to where I feel myself to be right now.

“‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest,’ says Jesus. Most of us think of spiritual progress as requiring us to do more, even as our heart cries out to us to lay our burdens down. We renew our efforts at Bible study, Scripture memory, and Christian service, fearing that we will be discovered in our weakness and need… So many of our contemporary churches operate on this same system of guilt. When our people are crying out for communion and rest, we ask them to teach another Sunday school class. When they falter under the load, we admonish them with Scripture on serving others. One wonders what would happen if all activity motivated by this type of guilt were to cease for six months. Much of organized Christianity would collapse even as the Pharisees saw happen to their own religious system” (168-170).

There’s a lot of truth to that. I wonder if many of us (individually and collectively) are simply trying to do too much? We see the struggles of our churches and ministries and we feel a vague sense of guilt about not being able to do all that we believe God has called us to do—from the “little” things like staffing the nursery to the bigger picture of evangelism, discipleship, etc. If it’s true that in many churches 10% of the people do 90% of the work, those 10% can easily burn themselves out trying to keep things going.

If Jesus has promised rest to those who come to Him, why does rest feel like a foreign concept? Why is exhaustion so close at hand? Why does guilt seem to be such a big motivator? Somehow I think we’ve imagined that the Apostle Paul’s description of his ministry is supposed to be ours as well: “by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger” (2 Corinthians 6:4-5; see also 11:25-29). I don’t know how Paul did it, but I don’t have the physical, mental, or emotional stamina to do even a fraction of what he did.

Today I read this in an article from John Piper:

“These illnesses may come, and we still win. The sickness may come, senility may come, and we still win. It is possible for the unhealthy to win the fight against unbelief because the fight is against lost hope, lost faith, not against lost health… The fight is a fight of faith. It’s not a fight to get out of bed; it’s a fight to rest in God. It’s not a fight to keep all the powers of youth, but to trust in the power of God. The race is run against doubt in God’s goodness and love for us. It’s a fight to stay satisfied in God despite the broken hips and lost sight and failed memory and inexplicable fatigue… The finishing line is crossed in the end not by a burst of human energy, but by collapsing into the arms of God. And by all means, let those of us who have any energy left remember that we are called upon to, as Paul says, ‘encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all’ (1 Thessalonians 5:14).”

So for all of us who feel weary and burdened by ministry and by life, I offer the encouragement that Jesus offered, “Come to Me and rest.” He didn’t say, “Come on, you can do five more tasks today, share the Gospel with one person every day, attend three more church events this week, and be the perfect parent, pastor, and teacher!” Jesus understands weariness. After all, He was the one who fell asleep in a boat in the midst of a storm.

It’s okay that “even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted” (Isaiah 40:30), because “The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary” (40:28). When we collapse into bed tonight, God is still in control. May we find rest in His embrace.

“My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth… He who keeps you will not slumber… The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore” (Psalm 121:2, 3, 8 ESV).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Desire and Hope

“O Lord, You hear the desire of the afflicted; You will strengthen their heart; You will incline Your ear” (Psalm 10:17 ESV).

As I read this verse this week, I started thinking about the many different desires I have for myself and for others—spiritual, relational, vocational, physical—some small, some more grand. I wrote several down in my prayer journal. I’m sure we all have good desires in every area of our lives. David and the other psalmists wrote often of our desires:

• “May He grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans!” (Ps. 20:4).
• “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4).
• “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You” (Ps. 73:25).
• “You open Your hand; You satisfy the desire of every living thing… He fulfills the desire of those who fear Him; He also hears their cry and saves them” (Ps. 145:16, 19).

It is encouraging to remember that God knows all those desires, and that He knows best how to fulfill our desires in His own time and way. No, He won’t give us everything we want, but He will give us what He deems best. We have reason to hold on to hope, because God listens to our hearts and keeps us in His hand.

Even if we don’t see our desires fulfilled in this lifetime, in eternity we will find all good things. John Eldredge wrote:

“Desire cannot live without hope. Yet we can only hope for what we desire. There simply must be something more, something out there on the road ahead of us, that offers the life we prize. To sustain the life of the heart, the life of deep desire, we desperately need to possess a clearer picture of the life that lies before us... When we are convinced that something delicious is about to be ours, we are free to live in expectation, and it draws us on in anticipation” (The Journey of Desire, 105, 163-164).

Augustine put it this way:

“The entire life of a good Christian is in fact an exercise of holy desire. You do not yet see what you long for, but the very act of desiring prepares you, so that when He comes you may see and be utterly satisfied” (Commentary on the First Epistle of John).

In this broken world, it can be tempting to try to kill desire or pretend it doesn’t matter. Instead, we should look for the God-given desires that are at the root of all other desires. As we seek God’s will in Scripture, our desires are refined and brought into alignment with God’s desires. I’m sure it delights God when we ask Him to do things that are already in His plan. Like children growing up, we start out wanting whatever pleases us, but as we mature we start wanting better things both for ourselves and for those we love.

I want to desire God’s best, though I know I often settle for something much less valuable. It is my hope and prayer that God will take my lesser desires and turn them into something far beyond all I can ask or imagine. For now I’ll trust that He hears, He knows, and He cares.

“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 NKJV).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

In the Storm

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior” (Isaiah 43:1b-3 ESV).

I have to admit though that there are times when the difficulties of life seem overwhelming and all-consuming. I realize anew that God didn’t say we don’t have to go through the rivers or the fires, but that He will be with us in the midst of them. God revealed His presence in the fiery furnace with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel 3). Jesus was in the boat with the disciples when they thought they were going to die from the storm (Mark 4:35-41). After calming the wind and waves, His question to them was, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” (v. 40). He could have kept them out of the storm entirely, but instead used it to reveal His power. Later on God sent an angel to the Apostle Paul to assure him that he and the crew would survive the storm that would destroy the ship in which they sailed (Acts 27:23-24).

It would be nice if we could see God or receive an angelic messenger when the storms of life arise. Unfortunately, God doesn’t generally work that way. Trials can strengthen our faith if we cling to what we know from Scripture to be true: God is present, He cares, and He will work all things for our ultimate good and His glory.

I wonder what lessons He has in mind for our present trials (whatever they may be)?

• Patiently enduring (Col. 1:11)
• Placing our hope in Him (Rom. 5:3-4)
• Relying on His strength in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9)
• Unceasing prayer (1 Thess. 5:16-18; Luke 18:1-8)
• Being sanctified (1 Thess. 5:23-24; Heb. 12:7)
• Boasting for God (2 Thess. 1:4-5)
• Comforting others in affliction (2 Cor. 1:3-4)

These and other Scriptural reminders should shape the way we pray for ourselves and others. I shared with someone recently that it is a little scary to pray, “Lord, do whatever it takes to save this person’s soul,” because we don’t really want to see anyone suffer. It’s far easier to pray, “Deliver this person from this difficulty,” but that may not be God’s plan. The question is, do we trust God to do exactly what is needed and nothing more or less? If He has the power to use every circumstance for His own good purposes, I want to trust Him to do that even if it hurts. That’s easier said than done.

It would be helpful if we could see the future results of the storm we’re in, but some trials may never make sense in this lifetime. One day we will realize the “eternal weight of glory” that is the result of our endurance (2 Cor. 4:16-18). Meanwhile we wait, trust, and hope.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

New Apparel

I recently listened to a podcast from CCEF. They used an interesting analogy for sanctification and growing in Christ. It’s like being given a new set of clothes and having to discard the old, comfy, worn clothes we like. After a while the new clothes become more comfortable, but then we have to change once again. Trusting God is a constant surrender of the old life and learning to walk in the new life. Those who are completely unwilling to change may not actually be Christians. As Sam Allberry has said more than once, “If you think the gospel is something that can be slotted neatly into your life without any change, it’s not the real gospel you’ve got.”

I can look back at different times in my life where I had to give something up and did so willingly. But other times I have delayed and held on to the old clothes as long as possible, like the rich young man in Matthew 19 who was unwilling to let go of his riches to follow Jesus. I wonder if he returned later after reconsidering? I believe God often gives us more than once chance to surrender. Sometimes we have to let go a little at a time. And it’s not just sin that we need to give up. It can also be good things such as certain relationships, the career we think we want, or our dreams of the future.

Sometimes I’m not sure I want to change in a particular area, and other times I realize I have to again surrender something I’ve taken back. I tend to think that I should be farther along in my Christian walk, that I am a disappointment to God and others because I feel stuck here. “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain…” (1 Corinthians 15:10a ESV). It seems like I’ve been wearing this set of clothes for a while now, but God said through the Apostle Paul that His grace toward us is not in vain. He also said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9b). He will accomplish His purposes in us and through us in His own good time. Our reluctance to change is no surprise to Him, so we can’t disappoint Him.

I came across this quote that had been taken out of its original context:

“It [is] impossible… to be converted to Christ while at the same time loving [your] sin. It is true that anybody who comes to Christ will come with sin. In fact, he or she will come precisely because of that sin—that is, to be rid of it and its awful result. But to come to Christ while loving and cherishing sin is totally impossible. It is like an airplane trying to fly in two directions!”

The context in which I found the quote (a Sunday school lesson) might lead one to think that the author is referring to all the areas of sin in a person’s life at the time of conversion, when in fact he was referring to an individual who wanted to knowingly continue one particular sin and yet become a Christian. The fact is that we don’t even know all the areas in which we are holding onto sin even after a lifetime of faith in Christ. If God revealed every sin and forced us to choose before we could come to Him for eternal life, no one would be saved. Jesus told the woman caught in adultery “Neither do I condemn you” before He told her “Go and sin no more.” Some people try to reverse the order and say, “If you forsake all sin, then God won’t condemn you.” God is far more gracious than we even realize. He is gracious enough to reveal our sins and to cultivate our distaste for sin over time.

Tammy Maltby writes in Confessions of a Good Christian Girl:

“Even though I knew my Savior, I kept coming to points in my life when I needed more of Him than I ever thought possible… I learned firsthand that good Christian girls need the grace of Jesus just as much as unbelievers do—and that grace is abundantly available to anyone who is willing to be honest about her pain and cry out for help. But honesty can be a problem, especially for us good Christian girls, because we are so used to thinking of our lives as before-and-after stories… [The] implication is that once a person accepts the Lord, she stops sinning and lays all her brokenness outside the door. The implication is that churches are populated by those who are joyfully and triumphantly healed. And that’s just not true...” (3, 6).

Thankfully, God understands me better than I understand myself, and He extends grace for each change along the way. He knows just how much time and grace is needed to both inspire and enable change. Perhaps someday I’ll look back and realize I have changed without even realizing it. For example, I remember times in school where I played sick so as to avoid public speaking. Now I know that wasn’t nearly as big of a deal as I’d thought at the time. God brought a change in perspective over the course of several years. I trust He can and will do something similar for any and all areas of my life that may be contrary to His perfect plan. His grace is never in vain.

“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely... He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Family Camp 2018 and Other Thoughts

Last week at Family Camp Pam Buchanan was teaching from two books—One Month to Live, and The Four Things that Matter Most. The discussion centered around Psalm 90:12, “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (ESV). What would you make sure to do or say if you knew you only had a month to live? We often live as if we have unlimited tomorrows. Early in the week I happened to read the following from Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren:

“Christians are people who wait. We live in liminal time, in the already and not yet. Christ has come, and he will come again. We dwell in the meantime. We wait. But in my daily life I’ve developed habits of impatience—of speeding ahead, of trying to squeeze more into my cluttered day. How can I live as one who watches and waits for the coming kingdom when I can barely wait for water to boil? …Time is a gift from God, a means of worship. I need the church to remind me of reality: time is not a commodity that I control, manage, or consume” (104, 108).

Our priorities get distorted and we often fail to do the things that matter most—seeking God, mending and tending our relationships with others, and making disciples of all nations (starting at home).

Ron Thomas was the Bible teacher at camp, and part of our discussion was on the relevance of the Church in today’s culture. Once again I stumbled across a couple quotes in Liturgy that directly related. (God does that to me frequently.)

“If we believe that church is merely a voluntary society of people with shared values, then it is entirely optional... Our relationship with God is never less than an intimate relationship with Christ, but it is always more than that. Christians throughout history—Protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox alike—have confessed that it is impossible to have a relationship with Christ outside of a vital relationship with the church, Christ’s body and bride” (118).

“We profoundly need each other. We are immersed in the Christian life together. There is no merely private faith—everything we are and do as individuals affects the church community. Yet many believers of my generation are not sure what the church is for. Some have denigrated the need for it all together. We have produced a me-centered faith that would be foreign to most Christians throughout history... But if Christianity is not only about my individual connection with God, but is instead about God calling, forming, saving, and redeeming a people, then the church can never be relegated to ‘elective’ status... The preservation of our faith and the endurance of the saints is not an individual promise; it is a promise that God will redeem and preserve his church—a people, a community, an organism, an institution—generation after generation, and that even the gates of hell will not prevail against it” (120).

This dovetails nicely with discussions we’ve been having at our church on what the church is and what it means to be a church member. Church membership is about more than having your name on a list somewhere, or showing up for an occasional service. It is a commitment to a group of people who love Christ and desire to encourage, equip, build up, serve, help, and hold one another accountable. We are to be partners in spreading the good news of salvation and teaching new believers how to follow Christ. We are brothers and sisters in Christ with a bond closer than that of blood.

“The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you’” (1 Cor. 12:21).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

On the Road

I just read this article on The Gospel Coalition: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/lessons-church-recovery-boys/  The author writes:

“One of the great challenges in ministry today is that ‘authenticity’ is more prized than holiness. Recurring struggles and ‘mess’ are more compelling and animating than the prospect of growth and the process of sanctification. Brokenness is simply a more credible currency than righteousness in many churches today, to our shame. Suburban youth pastors feel they must have tattoos and intense testimonies in order to be relatable. But shouldn’t churches and ministers be in the business of making growth, healing, maturity, and wholeness more compelling than sin and brokenness? Can’t righteousness be authentic too? …Pictures of healing are compelling. Growth should be celebrated more than brokenness.”

I understand what he’s saying, but I think he’s overstating the case. Perhaps it’s a matter of perspective. I think most churches struggle to embrace true authenticity. It’s far easier to hide our brokenness and fake our growth. It is true that real growth and healing should be celebrated, but not to the exclusion or shame of those who are still struggling. For most of us, growth comes in small steps that may not really be measurable. It may take years before we realize we’ve made significant change, so it can be hard to celebrate slow growth.

Certainly we want to make “growth, healing, maturity, and wholeness more compelling than sin and brokenness,” but we also need to communicate that it’s okay to not be okay. We are all broken sinners in need of supernatural help to change, and no one has yet arrived at perfection. We are all in process. Some may be further along the path, and they can encourage those of us who come behind them. Every believer is part of the “cloud of witnesses” to what God is doing in our lives and in the lives of those around us (Hebrews 12:1). We need to be authentic so that we can testify to where we’ve come from but also how much further we need to go. While there can be brokenness without sanctification, you can’t have sanctification without acknowledging brokenness.

I’m sure there are some churches where authenticity is “more prized than holiness,” just as there are some churches where sin is embraced rather than crucified, but I think they are comparatively small in number. Any church that values the whole council of God’s Word should be communicating: God loves you just as you are, and He loves you too much to let you stay there. And we as His Body love you in your brokenness, and we will do everything we can to help you grow in healing and holiness, however long it takes.

We’re all in this together. Wherever we’ve started from we should each be learning, growing, and changing by God’s grace and for His glory. Let’s encourage one another and celebrate even the small victories!

“Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:12-14 ESV).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Forgive Us Our Trespasses

In “high church” traditions, the worship service generally includes recitations of confession and absolution each week. Those of us who attend less liturgical churches may not give much thought to the need for confession and reminders of God’s forgiveness. Even when there is a moment of silence for confession, it can be easy to overlook or minimize any sins we should be confessing. It’s true that we can confess and find forgiveness on our own anytime anywhere, but there is something unique and important about the experience of confessing together as the Body of Christ. Tish Harrison Warren writes in Liturgy of the Ordinary:

“When we confess and receive absolution together, we are reminded that none of our pathologies, neuroses, or sins, no matter how small or secret, affect only us. We are a church, a community, a family. We are not simply individuals with our pet sins and private brokenness. We are people who desperately need each other if we are to seek Christ and walk in repentance… Because of this, I need to hear my forgiveness proclaimed not only by God but by a representative of the body of Christ in which I receive grace, to remind me that though my sin is worse than I care to admit, I’m still welcome here. I’m still called into this community and loved” (58).

Although I’m not a big fan of recited prayers, which can often become meaningless repetition, I do think we all need frequent reminders of the seriousness of sin and the gracious forgiveness of our loving God. Martin Luther wrote that “the entire life of believers should be repentance.” And yet how often do we do so? Rich Mullins shared this story:

“Those of you that are young enough to go to camp and rededicate your life every year you keep doin’ it, ‘cause about the time you get to college you’re gonna learn that you have to rededicate your life about every six months. And then you’ll graduate from college and it will become a quarterly thing. By the time you're in your 40s and 50s you’ll do it about four times a day… Never forget what Jesus did for you. Never take lightly what it cost Him” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNYtYRbH6aI).

What might it look like for your church to adopt more regular practices confession and repentance? In many churches, the frequency of communion determines the frequency of repentance for a lot of the members. My church typically has communion quarterly plus a couple special occasions. Why does it take a special service for us to give thought to our need for the grace of forgiveness?

I would challenge all of us to take seriously the call to confess our sins and to walk in the light with Christ and with one another (1 John 1:7-9).

“The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His works. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth” (Psalm 145:17-18 ESV).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.