Me Me Me

I read this the other day and found it to be quite true:

“To most people the greatest persons in the universe are themselves. Their lives are made up of endless variations on the word ‘me.’ What do people think of ME? How will thing affect ME? Will this make ME happy? Do people value ME as they should? …Have we not all, in our own experience, discovered that every endeavor that has ME as its center has no profit in it? You have set your heart, perhaps, on procuring something for the benefit or pleasure of your own great big ME, but when you have secured it, this ungrateful ME has refused to be satisfied and has turned away in weariness and disgust from what it has cost you so much to procure. Or you have labored to have the claims of this ME recognized by those around you and have reared with great pains and effort a high pinnacle on which you have seated yourself to be admired by all beholders. And right at the critical moment, the pinnacle has tottered over, and your glorious ME has fallen into the dust, and contempt instead of honor, has become its portion. Never, under any circumstances has it in the end paid you to try and exalt your great exacting ME, for always, sooner or later, it has all proved to be nothing but ‘vanity and vexation of spirit’ (Eccl. 2:11)” (God Is Enough, Hannah Whitall Smith, 132-133).

ME is an exacting taskmaster, never pleased for more than a few seconds. If your employer treated you the same way, would you not soon quit? Why try to please someone who just sneers and knocks you down every time? Why subject yourself to repeated frustration? And yet we do. “Maybe this time I’ll get everything just right and can enjoy success.” On the other hand:

“Jesus challenges us to forgive everyone we know and even those we don’t know and to be very careful not to forget even one against whom we harbor ill will. Right now someone exists who has disappointed and offended us, someone with whom we are continually displeased and with whom we are more impatient, irritated, unforgiving, and spiteful than we would dare be with anyone else. That person is ourselves. We are so often fed up with ourselves. We’re sick of our own mediocrity, revolted by our own inconsistency, bored by our own monotony. We would never judge any other of God’s children with the savage self-condemnation with which we crush ourselves. We must be patient, gentle, and compassionate with ourselves in the same way we try to love our neighbor” (The Signature of Jesus, Brennan Manning, 174).

We can either keep trying to perfect ourselves and build ourselves up despite constant failure, or we can accept God’s love and forgiveness and trust Him to do what only He can do. I find it interesting that the Apostle Paul’s list of the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) all have self at the center: “sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and things like these” (ESV). But it could reasonably be argued that the Fruit of the Spirit (vv. 22-23) is all focused on God and others: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” If we attempt to produce that fruit while focusing on self, it will be imitation fruit at best, quick to fall to the ground. Even self-control has to come from the work of the Spirit, not from self-effort. Only when we stop trying to grow our own fruit can the Spirit grow His Fruit in us. When we take our eyes off ourselves and our accomplishments and failures, then we can watch and see what God will do.

It’s time to dethrone ME and recognize that God is the King of kings and Lord of lords, and He is making all things new.

“Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” (Galatians 3:2-3).

  

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

The Picture Show

Reading through Ezekiel recently I took note of this description:

“I went in and saw. And there, engraved on the wall all around, was every form of creeping things and loathsome beasts, and all the idols of the house of Israel. And before them stood seventy men of the elders of the house of Israel… Each had his censer in his hand, and the smoke of the cloud of incense went up… ‘Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel are doing in the dark, each in his room of pictures? For they say, “The Lord does not see us...”’” (8:10-12 ESV).

Though written millennia ago, this almost sounds like modern day. We may not be burning incense, but nearly every house in our country has a room of moving pictures that distract us from worshiping the one true God. It’s easy to forget that God sees what happens in our homes even when no one else may know.

David said in Psalm 101:2-3a- “I will ponder the way that is blameless… I will walk with integrity of heart within my house. I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.” Some commentaries assert that this was written before David assumed the throne, and therefore before his sin with Bathsheba. Even the “man after God’s own heart” didn’t follow through with his good intentions. How much more vulnerable are we?

Brennan Manning wrote, “The gift of radical discipleship is pure grace to those who have no claim to it, for the deepest desires of our heart are not in our control. Were this not so, we simply would will those desires and be done with it” (The Signature of Jesus, 12). While we live on this earth, we live with conflicting desires. As Paul testified in Romans 7, we want to do what is right, but “evil lies close at hand” (7:21). Job said, “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin” (31:1). Few have made such a covenant, and even fewer have kept it. Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount have convicted me lately:

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire… You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:21-22, 27-28).

When we remember to include our thoughts in the tally, we all sin on a regular basis in one way or another. We look at things we shouldn’t, desire things that we can’t or shouldn’t have, fantasize about some other life, worship recreation instead of God, and carry around bitterness and anger in our hearts.

“The things we think on are the things that feed our souls. If we think on pure and lovely things, we will grow pure and lovely like them; and the converse is equally true. Very few people realize this, and consequently there is a great deal of carelessness, even with careful people, in regard to their thoughts. They guard their words and actions with the utmost care, but their thoughts, which are the very root of everything in character and life, they neglect entirely. So long as it is not put into spoken words, what goes on in the mind seems of no consequence. No one hears or knows, and therefore they imagine that the vagrant thoughts that come and go do no harm. Such persons are careless about the food offered to their thoughts and accept without discrimination anything that comes” (Hannah Whitall Smith, God Is Enough, 122).

“Let the… meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Gather Expectantly

Nehemiah chapters 8 and 9 have often left me amazed. The people of Israel gathered in the square to listen to the reading of God’s Word all morning, and it wasn’t even the more comforting parts of the Bible they heard, but the Law—those chapters that we’re probably tempted to skip when we read through the Bible. They didn’t respond with boredom but with sorrow because of their sin. The next day they held a training conference for the leaders to study the words of the Law, and for the rest of the week they continued listening to the readings. Just a couple weeks later they gathered again and “read from the Book of the Law of the Lord their God for a quarter of a day [3 hours]; for another quarter of it they made confession and worshiped the Lord their God” (9:3 ESV).

I wonder how it would go over in most churches to hold week-long services for the sole purpose of reading chapter after chapter of Leviticus? Or a six-hour worship service? I was a little surprised that The Gospel Coalition Women’s Conference last week centered around teaching from Deuteronomy and had good attendance. We tend to have short attention spans when it comes to Scripture reading and teaching. If the sermon goes more than 30 minutes, many church members start checking their watches. Cultural influences certainly play a part. Churches of other cultures often have no such time constraints on their services. We can blame technology and consumerism if we like, but the real problem is hearts that are not attuned to seeking first the Kingdom of God. We don’t hear His Word for us because we don’t really care to listen.

I came across this quote from Jason Meyer in David Mathis’s book Habits of Grace: “The ministry of the word in Scripture is stewarding and heralding God’s word in such a way that people encounter God through his word.” How often do we attend church services with the expectation of encountering God? How often do we show up expecting little more than to sing a few songs and hear to someone talk for a while? How often do we prepare for worship prayerfully and not just run in at the last second?

I would challenge all of us to consider our degree of receptivity to the things of God and our level of engagement in corporate worship. Mathis wrote for Desiring God:

“It’s tragically sad to be apathetic and lazy. Corporate worship is too important not to care. This is the single most important hour in the Christian’s typical week — because here we experience, as in no other weekly habit, the coming together of hearing God’s voice (in his word read and preached), having his ear (in prayer and Godward song), and belonging to his body (in the many corporate aspects before, during, and following our gathering).

“It simply matters too much to our own souls, and to the souls of others, to be content with disengaging, whether our lethargy is emotional and stubborn, or simply the product of consistently not getting enough sleep on Saturday night.”

May we gather expectantly this weekend!

“Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!” (Psalm 95:6).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Photo © 2018 Dawn Rutan. 

Redeeming Singleness

Barry Danylak published Redeeming Singleness in 2010. As I was reading his extensive survey of Scripture and theology, something came to my attention although he did not exactly address it in this way.

The Old Testament opens with the command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28) followed by “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24 ESV). That is soon followed by various genealogical listings. In contrast, the New Testament opens with a genealogy pointing to the One born of a virgin, and He never married or had biological children. The new command Jesus gave was “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…” (Matt. 28:18). Those facts alone illustrate the nature of the new covenant initiated by Jesus Christ. It is no longer about bearing biological children to fill the earth and carry on the family name. Instead it is about becoming spiritual children of the One True God and teaching others to do the same. This can be illustrated by the chiastic structure:

• Creation
• Command- “Be fruitful and multiply”
• Marriage with children
• Heritage
• Children without marriage
• Command- “Go and make disciples”
• New Creation

I’m sure much more could be said on that, but I’m not prepared to write my own book. On a related note, Danylak wrote:

“There is sometimes a tendency, especially among the idealistic young who presume to have most of their years yet before them, that singleness is a temporary period of one’s life until one finds an eternal soul mate in marriage. This passage [Luke 20:34-36] is a reminder that in the scope of eternity the opposite is actually the case; marriage is for a season and time, until, as the traditional marriage vow reads, ‘death do us part.’ It is as single and free individuals that we will stand before his throne and live for all eternity” (165).

Danylak spends most of his final chapter focusing on Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7. I appreciated his comments on the gift of singleness, in particular because I’ve heard others argue an opposite position (and I may have agreed with them at times). He wrote:

“A spiritual gift is not a talent or bestowment for one’s personal benefit but a divine enablement given for the mutual benefit of strengthening the substance and mission of the church… In view of both Paul’s and Jesus’ statements, we can define the charisma of singleness this way: The charisma of singleness is a Spirit-enabled freedom to serve the King and the kingdom wholeheartedly, without undue distraction for the longings of sexual intimacy, marriage, and family…

“[The] gift of singleness is not simply the situation or status of being unmarried. Unless one marries the day after puberty, one will inevitably live part of his or her life as a single person. There are some who may have to live their entire lives as single people, without the gift of singleness—not ever finding a suitable mate. As we noted earlier, Jesus recognized that some are eunuchs not because they chose to be but because of factors outside their control. However, those who have the gift of singleness can remain single by choice.

“Paul is not suggesting that both singleness and marriage are spiritual gifts… [Marriage] does not entail special manifestation of the Spirit for edifying God’s people and serving the kingdom of God… Moreover, suggesting that marriage is a gift complementary to singleness leaves those who are single involuntarily in an ambiguous state. They do not have the ‘gift’ of marriage, but neither do they have the ‘gift’ of singleness, as their desire is to be married” (199-201).

Or as Sam Allberry put it, “What if someone is married but decides they don’t have the ‘gift’ of marriage?” Even if others disagree, it is worth thinking about whether our beliefs about marriage and singleness are based on scriptural principles or not.

“…The unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit…” (1 Corinthians 7:34b).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Addicted to Sin

Sometimes I hear the stories of young people who struggle with drug or alcohol addictions and others who repeatedly make bad choices regardless of the consequences. It is easy to be judgmental and think, “Why can’t they just get their act together and stop it?!” But then I start looking at my own life and see the same patterns at work, just in less visible ways. My sin is no better than theirs just because people don’t know about it and I’m not breaking any laws.

Sin is sin. In many ways, it doesn’t really matter what temptations we struggle with, because the answer is always to be found in salvation in Jesus Christ and through the transforming work of the Holy Spirit. We all need God’s grace and mercy constantly. Even if we get rid of the outward sins, there are still internal sins in our thoughts and attitudes. There will always be something that needs confessed and forgiven as long as we’re on this earth. The truth is we’re all addicted to sin in one way or another.

I frequently wrestle with verses such as these:

• “Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God” (1 Peter 4:1-2 ESV).
• “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous… No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God’s seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God” (1 John 2:1, 3:9).
• “We know that our old self was crucified with Him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin… Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions” (Romans 6:6, 12).

It can be really discouraging to fall (or jump) into sin once again and then wonder, “If I’m really a Christian and have the Holy Spirit, why don’t I have this mysterious power to obey like the Bible says?” I find a lot more in common with Paul’s words in Romans 7:18-20 and following:

“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sins that dwells in me.” 

This is the Christian dilemma—we know what is right, we desire to do good, we take all the steps we can think of to prevent sin, and yet we still do it. It doesn’t seem to matter how many Bible verses we memorize, how many sermons we listen to, or how many Christian songs we sing. In Paul’s case, it didn’t matter how much Spirit-inspired Scripture he wrote, how many people he converted, or how much he suffered for his faith, he still found ways to sin. (I disagree with those who claim that Romans 7 was describing Paul’s pre-converted state. In Philippians 3:6 he said he was blameless in regard to the law prior to his conversion.) It may be both discouraging and encouraging to know that even someone as zealous as the Apostle Paul faced the same struggle we have.

No matter how hard we try, we aren’t going to reach sinlessness in this life. But the good news is that God knows all that and He loves us anyway. As Brennan Manning used to say,

“Do you believe that God loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity—that He loves you in the morning sun and in the evening rain—that He loves you when your intellect denies it, your emotions refuse it, your whole being rejects it? Do you believe that God loves without condition or reservation and loves you this moment as you are and not as you should be but you’re never going to be as you should be?”

And in love He provided mercy and forgiveness for our sins through the blood of Jesus Christ. Let us lean into His love.

“I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for His name’s sake… By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before Him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything” (1 John 2:12, 3:19-20).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Joy Unending

I had an unusual experience this week. I’m a little hesitant to share it, but hopefully my friends will understand. This was the culmination of multiple conversations and events in recent days. Here’s a little of the background...

In our chapel service at the office on Wednesday we were talking about Genesis 3:1-13 where the serpent asked Eve “Did God really say...?” And Eve and Adam decided that even though God commanded them not to eat of the tree, He must not have had their best interests at heart, and they wanted something more than the paradise He had provided. Immediately after that discussion, I read the daily devotion from Truth for Life, “The Deep Cost of Sin.” Charles Spurgeon wrote:

“Did sin ever yield you real pleasure? Did you find solid satisfaction in it? If so, go back to your old drudgery, and wear the chain again, if it delights you. But inasmuch as sin never gave you what it promised to bestow but deluded you with lies, do not be snared by the old fowler: Be free, and let the memory of your enslavement prevent you from entering the net again!”

Later in the day I revisited a post on Desiring God, “Sin Will Never Make You Happy.” John Piper wrote:

“If my thirst for joy and meaning and passion are satisfied by the presence and promises of Christ, the power of sin is broken... The fight of faith is the fight to stay satisfied with God.”

Then at the end of the day I was meditating on Psalm 16:11 (ESV): “You make known to me that path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures evermore.” Part of my prayer was: “Father, I believe this by faith even though the flesh tells me it is not true... Help me refute the lies of the enemy with the sword of the Spirit...” I admit I was wishing for some kind of experiential “proof” to confirm what I know by faith.

All of that was on my mind as I fell asleep and started to dream. In my dream, I was dying of kidney failure. (I’m not sure how I knew that.) As my physical life was ending and I was unconscious to the world, I was fully conscious of God. I could only see light increasing around me. As it grew, I was suddenly overwhelmed with waves of gratitude and joy and peace. I couldn’t help expressing my thanks—for painless death; for God receiving me with love; for His sufficiency; for the ways He had kept me from sin; and much more. At the same time, I was feeling what I can only describe as delightful tingling in every cell of my body. The whole experience was beyond any earthly comparison.

I woke up, and after a brief disappointment that life still went on as usual, I was deeply grateful for the memory I retained of that dream. I remembered the story Dennis Jernigan shared in the intro to his song “Sweep Over Me” of Charles Finney feeling waves of love coming over him. (Listen to the story and song here or read more of Finney’s story here.) That song stayed on my mind as I went back to sleep.

I’m not trying to interpret Scripture in light of experience, but I will say this: when we as Christians come to the end of life and enter God’s presence, it will all be worth it—every trial and struggle, every persecution or challenge, every time we’ve said no to sin, even every time we’ve found forgiveness in Christ. The Word assures us that this is true. It will be worth it all because of the “surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus” as Lord and Savior (Philippians 3:8).

Even as the intensity of the dream fades, I hope I will remember it as a little extra fuel for the endurance race of this life. I want to continually remind myself that living for God and obeying Him will always reap greater rewards than any sin that might tempt me. Only He can provide eternal life and pleasures forevermore. I only had a small glimpse of what that might be like, and I know that the reality will far surpass anything I can imagine.

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.

Sowing the Eternal

Peter Kreeft’s book Back to Virtue has some good thoughts that are worth mulling over:

“God often withholds from us the grace to avoid a lesser sin because we are in danger of a greater sin. To avoid pride, he sometimes lets us fall into lust, since lust is usually obvious, undisguised, and temporary, while pride is not” (168).

At first glance, this doesn’t seem to make sense. Why would God allow one type of sin in order to keep us from another type? It almost seems to contradict James 1:13-15 (ESV), “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and He himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” James makes it clear that sin always begins and ends with self, not God.

So if self is the problem, why would pride be worse than lust? After all, it can be pride that says “I deserve this pleasure” or “I can handle this temptation.” But I think the greater danger is the pride that says “I successfully fought that temptation by myself,” and thereby denies God all the glory. He is less concerned about sins that cause us to cry out to Him for mercy and grace than about sins that make us think we don’t need Him. I can safely say that I don’t want to go back to the days when sin hardened my heart and drew me away from God. With a softer heart each sin hurts more, but it causes me to run to Him and not from Him.

Kreeft quotes Samuel Smiles:

“Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny” (169).

There was a time when certain sins became so habitual that I’m sure it started to change my character, though I didn’t realize it at the time. Disdain for people, hiding my sin, building walls around my heart and my life—these weren’t harmless decisions. And reversing the process had to start with breaking down those walls to let others see that my true character was not what it appeared to be. Only from that place of vulnerability and accountability could I then break down the habits and cease the acts and thoughts underneath (or at least start to make progress against them). “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:8).

Another good quote from Kreeft:

“We are promised the great and inconceivable gift to see God face to face, just as he is... It is what we were made for, our ‘pearl of great price,’ our ‘one thing necessary’. If we only knew, we would eagerly sacrifice anything and everything in the world for this” (171-172).

That reminds me of C.S. Lewis’s comments about us “fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us” (The Weight of Glory). I confess I would like just a glimpse of that infinite, eternal joy so that the things of earth would “grow strangely dim,” but I suppose that would negate the need for faith and hope. If we could see exactly what was coming, we wouldn’t have to trust that God will one day make all our obedience worthwhile.

Recently I have returned to an old practice of praying through the armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-17) before I start my day. It is a reminder to me that I can’t do this alone. I have also found encouragement from Isaiah 41:10:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

God will strengthen us for the battle if we will keep turning to Him. He will help us and protect us by His grace and for His glory. And when we do fall, as we often will, it is His righteousness that upholds us and not our own failed attempts at righteousness.

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness...” (Isaiah 61:10).

© 2018 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated all images are copyright free from pixabay.com.