The Next Step

I subscribe to a blog by author and teacher Terry Powell. One of his recent emails asked the question, “For a person diagnosed with major depression (recurring episodes), what does ‘victorious Christian living’ look like?” I think that is a question worth considering. Every person’s experience is different, but here are a few observations from my lifelong experience of recurring depression:

• Faith doesn’t mean that all struggles cease, but growing faith does mean that I’m learning to depend on God more fully and more often. There is much that I know I could not do apart from God enabling me to keep going. And when my faith feels weak, I still know that it is God who promises to hold onto me and not vice versa.
• Christian joy and hope don’t mean the absence of sorrow and tears, but remembering that one day every tear will be wiped away. (See my earlier post on the Root and Fruit of Hope.) When I don’t feel like singing songs of praise, not only does Jesus, the Man of Sorrows, understand how I feel, but He’s also given me the Body of Christ to sing on my behalf.
• Enduring suffering doesn’t mean pretending it doesn’t exist or hiding it from others. But it also doesn’t mean sitting passively and watching life pass you by. It usually means doing the next thing whether you feel like it or not. Wash the dishes, trim the bushes, go to the office, go to church, get counseling, get some exercise, etc.

I don’t want to hold myself up as some kind of success story or model for everyone else. There are many times when I feel like I’m failing as a Christian and as a person. During one particularly rough season of life I missed a lot of days of work (back when working from home was not an option). My counselor at the time encouraged me to set some goals that would give me a sense of purpose and a destination. That’s when I decided to pursue martial arts and also to go back to seminary part time. Although those things are no longer part of my regimen, they gave me some new relationships and an outlet for my stresses. They also ingrained in me the habit of showing up even when I don’t feel like it.

I think sometimes in the church we confuse legalism and discipline. I read my Bible and write in my prayer journal daily and attend church each week, not because I think God expects me to do so, and not to secure my salvation. I do it because I know that it is for my own benefit and growth in Christ. Likewise, I don’t go to work just to pay the bills or because other people expect me to show up (though that’s all true), but because it is good for me to focus on something besides myself. And I don’t exercise because the doctor tells me to, but because I know I will feel better if I do.

There are still days when I don’t want to keep enduring and I pray “How long, O Lord?” Right now I can’t remember the last time I made it through a whole week without any tears. Although I often don’t feel like a “victorious Christian,” I know that victory is ultimately in God’s hand and that He uses weak and wounded people to accomplish His will in this world.

It struck me this week that Psalms 138 and 139 can go together:

“For though the Lord is high, He regards the lowly… The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me… If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me… In Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” (138:6, 8; 139:9-10, 16).

God’s path may often lead us through dark valleys, but He will fulfill His purposes because He is the One who walks with us and upholds us through it all. We just need to keep taking one step after another.

“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; When I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me” (Micah 7:8).

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord… though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand” (Psalm 37:23-24).

© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV. Photo is from a recent hiking trip on the Viaduct Trail near Blowing Rock, NC. (I’m not sure who from our group took this particular photo.) The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.

Victory!

For some time now I’ve been thinking about enemies, though probably not the way some people do. In reading through the Psalms in the past, I’ve tended to think that the many references to enemies don’t really apply to us. Most of us don’t have someone actively trying to kill us. But when we remember that “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12 ESV), it’s clear that we do have an enemy working against us and seeking to destroy us (1 Peter 5:8).

That reality brings greater meaning and encouragement from verses such as these:

• Psalm 59:10 – “My God in His steadfast love will meet me; God will let me look in triumph on my enemies.”
• Psalm 92:11 – “My eyes have seen the downfall of my enemies; my ears have heard the doom of my evil assailants.”
• Psalm 143:12 – “And in Your steadfast love You will cut off my enemies, and You will destroy all the adversaries of my soul, for I am Your servant.”

Charles Stanley makes this comment in his book Handle with Prayer:

“As Satan sows seeds of disunity throughout the church, many of God’s people find themselves in conflict with each other. These conflicts are usually never resolved because nobody deals with the real enemy—Satan. There is no way to win a battle if we don’t know who our enemy is. And because our real enemy is a spiritual being, the only way we can really deal with him is on our knees.”

The same principle applies to all sorts of conflict, from family discord to war in the Middle East. All conflict can be traced back to the roots of sin caused by the tempter. It may take some effort to retrain our thinking, because we’re so used to blaming people for everything that happens. That’s not to absolve people from all sin, but to give a little more grace to those who irritate us even though they are doing the best they can. It’s easy to let little things ruin our day when they don’t have to. It would be a far better use of our time and energy to pray for someone (whether a child, coworker or congressman) than to gripe about them, but that doesn’t come naturally.

Whatever shape our battles take in this life, petty squabbles or all-out war, we know that the real enemy has already been defeated through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Sin and death no longer have the victory, and one day we will be able to look in triumph on the enemy. Easter is a vital reminder of “the immeasurable greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His great might that He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come” (Ephesians 1:19-21).

May this Easter be a celebration of our freedom in Christ and His victory over the enemy!

 “Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death He might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.” –Hebrews 2:14-15