Why Am I Here? -Part 2

While my last post dealt mainly with our calling (vocation), I realize the question “Why am I here?” can have many other nuances as well. The variation I’ve been wrestling with lately is “Why has God allowed this particular set of circumstances in my life?” I picked up When God Weeps: Why Our Sufferings Matter to the Almighty, by Joni Eareckson Tada & Steven Estes, from the church library. Although I haven’t finished reading it yet, the authors appear to do a good job of addressing both the theological and personal challenges that suffering presents. Here is the starting point:

“First, despite Christ’s compassionate death for our sins, God’s plan—not plan B or C or D, but his plan—calls for all Christians to suffer, sometimes intensely…

“Second, God’s plan is specific… He’s not our planet’s absent landlord. Rather, he screens the trials that come to each of us—allowing only those that accomplish his good plan, because he takes no joy in human agony… But in God’s wisdom and love, every trial in a Christian’s life is ordained from eternity past, custom-made for that believer’s eternal good, even when it doesn’t seem like it.

“Third, the core of his plan is to rescue us from our sin. Our pain, poverty, and broken hearts are not his ultimate focus. He cares about them, but they are merely symptoms of the real problem…

“Last, every sorrow we taste will one day prove to be the best possible thing that could have happened. We will thank God endlessly in heaven for the trials he sent us here.” (72-74 large print edition)

But it doesn’t end with academic answers. “The problem of suffering is not about something, but Someone… [P]eople are like hurting children looking up into the faces of their parents, crying and asking, ‘Daddy, why?’ Those children don’t want explanations, answers, or ‘reasons why’; they want their daddy to pick them up, pat them on the backs, and reassure them that everything is going to be okay” (196). Yes, it’s important that God is in control, that He’s working all things for His ultimate plan for my good and His glory, and that one day all suffering will be ended. But that doesn’t always give me motivation to keep enduring and hoping that life will get easier.

A couple phrases from the hymn “Day by Day” have come to mind several times in recent weeks: “He whose heart is kind beyond all measure gives unto each day what He deems best… Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting, E’er to take, as from a Father’s hand…” I hear the Father whispering “Do you trust Me?”

Somehow the Apostle Paul managed to keep a correct perspective while enduring suffering—it was always for the benefit of others: to build others up- Romans 15:1-7; to comfort others- 2 Corinthians 1:3-11; to exhort faithfulness- 2 Corinthians 6:1-10; to witness to faith- 2 Thessalonians 1:4; to bring other to Christ- 2 Timothy 2:8-13; to be an example- 2 Timothy 3:10-17; and particularly Philippians 1:21-26:

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain… My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith…” (ESV emphasis added).

Just looking at all that Paul endured as listed in 2 Corinthians 11:24-28, it’s amazing that he didn’t give up—lashed, beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, etc. That’s not the kind of job description I’d be looking for! (I guess he never got bored.) And yet he could still say, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5).

In the midst of all that happened to him, Paul trusted God’s hand at work. I don’t suppose the fifth lashing hurt any less than the first four, but it was bearable because of the example that was set by Christ and the example it would provide for those who followed. As Joni told her friend, “You may think it’s far better to depart and be with Christ, but as long as you remain in the body, your family and friends have something to learn. Something of eternal importance” (149).

I can’t neglect the fact that suffering is also a means of purifying us. Hebrews 12:1-10 says that we endure God’s discipline “that we may share His holiness.” And Peter wrote, “Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God” (1 Peter 4:1-2).

Suffering can drive us to bitterness or it can drive us to God. It can make us turn inward or it can turn our focus to the suffering of others. It can make us yearn for worldly relief or it can make us long for our eternal home. It can make us hard-hearted or soft-hearted.

So why am I here? In the words of Andrew Murray:

“First, He brought me here, it is by His will I am in this strait place: in that fact I will rest.
Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace to behave as His child.
Then, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
Last, in His good time He can bring me out again—how and when He knows.
Let me say I am here,
(1) By God’s appointment,
(2) In His keeping,
(3) Under His training,
(4) For His time.”

“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word” (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17).

Why Am I Here?*

What is the purpose of life? A quick internet search brought up the following quotes:

• “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
• “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson
• “The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” –Fyodor Dostoyevsky
• “The purpose of life is to contribute in some way to making things better.” –Robert F. Kennedy

These are not necessarily bad ideals. Certainly better than some like, “Grab all you can before you’re gone.” The Westminster Catechism says that man’s purpose is “To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” In Scripture Pharaoh is told, “But for this purpose I have raised you up, to show you My power, so that My name may be proclaimed in all the earth” (Exodus 9:16 ESV). I think the same could be said for any of us.

Sometimes I find myself wondering, “What’s the point? Why should I get out of bed, go to work, and sit at my desk for 8 hours? Am I accomplishing anything of lasting value?” Some days those questions are easier to answer than others. We all feel more purposeful if we’re doing something productive. But when the work slows down, things don’t go well, or someone loses a job, have we lost our purpose? This verse from Exodus says the answer is “No!” Our purpose is not about what we can do, but what God is doing in us, through us, and around us. Pharaoh’s main talent was telling Moses to mind his own business. It didn’t really matter what Pharaoh did or didn’t do, because God had much bigger plans in the works.

I haven’t read Rick Warren’s book The Purpose Driven Life, but I know he gets one thing right—our purpose is about God, not us. As I’ve shared before (http://mental3degree.blogspot.com/2013/05/purposeful-living.html), God created us for relationship with Him, not because He needed us for some particular task. If we’re here to enjoy God and to be enjoyed by God, perhaps we can give ourselves a little grace when it comes to our life goals and list of accomplishments. God lets us off the hook of trying to prove our worth to Him and to one another. That’s not to say we shouldn’t apply ourselves to doing a good job in whatever we pursue. “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might…” (Ecclesiastes 9:10).

For me, knowing that my purpose is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever means that I can be free to do some of the things that I enjoy rather than trying to pursue a corporate career, impress the bosses, or make a lot of money. My job has value to a certain segment of people and even for the eternal Kingdom, but it is not my reason for living. God could do the work through someone else or He could choose to end it, but my purpose and worth is in my relationship with Him. He can move me to a new role within His Body whenever He chooses. We tend to fall into the trap of thinking we have to accomplish great things for the Kingdom, when all God is asking is that we be faithful in the small things.

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much” (Luke 16:10 ESV).

* I started this post last Friday, but circumstances made it clear to me that this is just barely scratching the surface. Perhaps there will be more to come.

Give It Away

A couple things have occurred today that have gotten me thinking about stewardship. I’m reading Ken Shigamatsu’s book God in My Everything, and he has a good chapter on finances. He talks about “proportionate giving,” meaning “we first determine the amount we need (adjusted regularly for inflation) and choose to live on that alone. We then commit to giving the rest away.”

While I haven’t gone that far, I have made an effort to increase my giving each year, even when I don’t receive any increase in salary. I will say up front that money does not hold a great attraction for me, and being single allows me the freedom to live as simply as I choose. It is nice to see my bank and pension balances increasing, but I don’t spend a lot of time obsessing about it. Since I have to spend most of my work hours looking at finances, by the time I get home I don’t want to be bothered with balancing my checkbook or paying bills. (I just entered about 8 months of receipts into the computer, and I wouldn’t do it at all if I didn’t have to file taxes at year end.)

Over the past several years I’ve noticed certain trends in my decisions about charitable giving, and my choices are probably not unique.

• I give to fewer organizations than I used to. I’m giving more of my funds to those that impact me directly and eliminating others that I’ve had only distant ties to. Although I appreciate the work of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, it isn’t that important to me.
• I have also moved toward organizations that are overtly Christian. Anybody can support humanitarian organizations, but only Christians are likely to support churches and Christian non-profit agencies.
• I give more to organizations that have fewer donors. My alma maters are great, but they have a pool of thousands of donors. My church only has about a hundred, so comparatively its need is greater.
• I direct more funds toward organizations with a proven track record of good stewardship of their own resources, including their finances, properties, and personnel. Financial management is great, but if that comes at the expense of deteriorating buildings or staff that is either overworked or underworked, they may need to adjust their priorities.

It’s kind of surprising to me as I think about this to realize that many of these choices were made subconsciously. I never sat down and wrote out a budget of who deserved what amount from me. I will say that it helps to have an unlisted phone number and caller ID, so I never have to listen to those passionate calls to make an immediate contribution that I would never otherwise make. I rarely give to any special appeals outside of my church.

Financial stewardship is something we should all give more thought to, with at least a periodic review of where our money is going and how that reflects our priorities and our faith. I made the decision some time back that cable TV was not worth the investment of my money and time, so I downgraded to just the broadcast channels. (Ironically, the cable company has never removed the extra channels, so I’ve had several months of free cable.) I’ve also cut out some other conveniences and unnecessary clutter. It’s getting to be fun asking, “What else can I get rid of or give away that I don’t need?” Since “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7) I might as well enjoy it!

I don’t look at giving as depriving myself of something good, but as making room in my heart for something better—building my own relationship with God and helping others to do the same.

Keep On Keeping On

I've been trying for a couple days to write this post following the apparent suicide of Robin Williams. I've been hesitant to try to say what others can say, and many others have already made their contributions. 

What I do know is that there will be a rash of suicides as some people will think, "If he can't hang on, why should I?" Robin Williams appeared to have the skills to deflect any situation with humor, but he hid behind a facade, as do many of us. I think of him in roles such as Patch Adams and Good Will Hunting, where the characters dealt with psychiatric illness through building relationships, and I wonder whether he took those lessons to heart? He seemed to have the resources to get whatever help he needed, but he chose not to do so. 

Shame can be a factor that prevents people from getting help. Mental illness continues to carry a stigma despite the efforts of many to change that. And shame is just the flip side of pride. We don't want to be looked down upon, but we also don't want your sympathy. Someone has said that the worst thing about having cancer is that every conversation revolves around that. Just as the cancer patient doesn't want that to become his identity, the person with mental illness doesn't want to be treated as a victim either. 

What we do want is your continuing love and support. You don't have to have all the answers. Just be understanding when we don't feel up to being social, or we can't stop crying for no reason. Don't promise us false hope, but remind us of God's promises to be with us in all things. 

One blog I read advised people not to use trite expressions like "If you're considering suicide please talk to a friend." The author's reasoning was that: 1) talking is the last thing you feel like doing, and 2) most of our friends are unequipped to deal with a real crisis. While there is some truth to that, I think that true friendships are perhaps the first line of defense for the person struggling with depression. Friends remind us that we are loved, that we matter to someone, and that there is life outside the counselor's office or the darkened living room. Friends can be a connection to the "real" world that we might otherwise lose if we are prone to isolation. 

There are a lot of lies that can creep into our thinking if we're not careful: I should be able to deal with this on my own; I can't talk about this because everybody thinks I'm fine, or else they've heard it all before; I'm never going to feel any better so I might as well stop trying; no one will care if I'm gone, or conversely, it would serve them right to lose me; and many other variations. 

I take courage from stories of people like Pastor John Newton, who stuck by his friend and fellow hymn writer William Cowper through ongoing depression and multiple suicide attempts, and others like Charles Spurgeon, who continued preaching and writing despite serious depression and physical ailments. (See John Piper's short book When the Darkness Will Not Lift for these stories and other resources- http://www.desiringgod.org/books/when-the-darkness-will-not-lift.)

I would offer just a few pieces of advice. First for those who have friends battling depression:

1) Don't judge what you don't understand. Learn more, ask questions, and don't jump to conclusions. 

2) Love your friends well, in word and in deed. It's easy to assume that people know how you feel and therefore neglect to tell them. 

3) Pray for your friends and with your friends, and stick close to the Word of God for truth, hope, and joy. 

And for those in the midst of depression:

1) Read and pray the Psalms. God put them in the Bible for a reason, and He's not offended by our raw emotions or even accusations. He knows what we feel better than we do. 

2) Try to avoid the tendency for complete isolation. Even if it is just short outings once or twice a week, we need that connection with other people. 

3) Seek help before it's too late, from doctors, pastors, counselors, and anyone who can point you in the right direction. 

There's so much more that could be said, and so many good resources out there. I'll leave the last word to King David:

Psalm 34:18- "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."

Already But Not Yet

In a recent sermon on Hebrews 7, it was pointed out that we often go through life with a vague sense of guilt. This can be true even of those who are confident of their salvation. There have been times when I’ve found myself praying “Lord, forgive me,” but then realize that I am not aware of any sin for which I need forgiveness. I could interpret that one of two ways. Either the Holy Spirit is prompting me to search myself for some hidden sin (and I’m sure I’d find something eventually), or the enemy is prodding me with guilt and shame in order to keep me from being effective for the kingdom. Most of the time it’s the latter, and it clearly takes discernment to distinguish which it is (Hebrews 5:14).

A verse came to mind recently when the enemy was attempting to sidetrack me with old sin: “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11 ESV). Paul makes it plain (using the aorist indicative) that these things have been accomplished and are not something awaiting future fulfillment. The author of Hebrews makes a similar statement, but puts it in the tense of a completed action with continuing effects (perfect middle participle): “And by that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all… For by a single offering He has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified” (Hebrews 10:10, 14).

Such statements are hard to wrap our brains around when we’re aware of our own sinfulness. How can something be categorically true and yet false in our daily experience? I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I believe it hinges upon the fact that God is outside of time (though proponents of “openness theology” would disagree). He can look at the entirety of human history as we might look at a printed timeline. In His view, Jesus’ death on the cross was sufficient to cover all our sins past and present, so our sanctification has been purchased once and for all. But we can’t see the end from the beginning. What we see is the daily struggle to resist temptation and to glorify God.

John Piper says of Hebrews 10:14, “This verse means that you can stand perfected and completed in the eyes of your heavenly Father not because you are perfect now but… that, by faith in God’s promises, you are moving away from your lingering imperfection toward more and more holiness” (http://www.desiringgod.org/sermons/perfected-for-all-time-by-a-single-offering).

On one hand, it can be discouraging to know that we’ve not yet arrived and the struggles persist. But on the other hand, we should find great encouragement in knowing that God sees us as we will be for eternity—perfected in Christ Jesus. He doesn’t get tired of our frequent falls and pleas for grace. I imagine it’s a bit like a parent who says, “I can put up with the terrible twos (or teens) because I know that it won’t last, and something better is coming.” But it’s even better than that because God has perfect knowledge of what is coming, and one day there will be no more disappointment for any of His children.

In the meantime, we can keep on pressing on, claiming the forgiveness that is ours in Christ. And when the enemy tries to trip us up and drag us down into despair, we can ignore him because we know the truth and the truth has set us free.

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own” (Philippians 3:11).

Getting Through

The following is drawn from the Family Camp studies on the life of Joseph based on Max Lucado’s book You’ll Get Through This. Max says:

You’ll get through this. It won’t be painless. It won’t be quick. But God will use this mess for good. In the meantime, don’t be foolish or naïve. But don’t despair either. With God’s help, you will get through this.”

The difficulty is that we don’t know how long “through” is going to last—days, months, years, or a lifetime. It is that uncertainty that is the hardest to bear. As someone said, if I know this will be over next month, then I know I can endure it. If I don’t know when (or if) this will end, I imagine the worst and feel unable to keep pressing on.

In the life of Joseph, he had no idea how long he would spend in the pit, in Potiphar’s house, in prison, or in the palace. The pit didn’t last long, but being sold into slavery was a different kind of pit. And prison could have been a much shorter stay if Potiphar had gotten the truth out of his wife, or if the cupbearer had remembered his promise. But through it all, Joseph remained faithful to God.

We don’t know if Joseph had access to any kind of Scripture, and his family wouldn’t be praying for him if they thought he was dead. So most of his life it seems he was alone with his memories of the stories his father had likely told him about Noah, Abraham, and others, and he had his own prayers and the dreams God had given him. So he endured by faith until God brought him through the other side.

Unlike Joseph, we do have a couple avenues to find strength to endure and to trust in God: Scripture and community. We have to decide to believe that the promises of the Word are true, even if they don’t seem true at this moment: God is in control; God is good; God is working all things for my good and His glory; God knows and understands exactly how we feel. By faith we take Him at His word and cling to what we know. And in order to do that, we need the loving support and the graceful reminders provided by the Body of Christ. We need to be reminded of the truth in preaching and teaching. We need the encouragement and love of true fellowship. We need to know that others have been through the same difficulties and have survived with their faith intact. Community can provide more specifically in the forms of prayer, comfort, and material needs as well.

I don’t know that I would have the endurance of Joseph. Thankfully I haven’t had the same kinds of trials, though that doesn’t really matter. God has His own way of turning evil into good for His own purposes. And He’s given us His Word and His people to carry us through.

“Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1).

When I Fall

Desiring God recently shared a good word on their blog. Author Paul Maxwell writes:

“The next time you’re tempted to say ‘I hate myself’ because of the lingering sin in your life, take a deep breath, regroup, read Psalm 139, and get back in the game. ‘The righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity’ (Proverbs 24:16). The righteous fall. Falling is not the defining issue. The wicked listen to the accuser (Revelation 12:10) and don’t get back up. The righteous get back up.” (See http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/autocorrect-and-indwelling-sin for the full article.)

That reminded me of some other Scriptures such as Luke 22:31-32: “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers” (ESV). Jesus didn’t pray that Simon Peter would not betray Him, but only that his faith would not fail. Assuming that Jesus’ prayers are always answered, it’s interesting that faith doesn’t keep Peter from falling, but it does keep him from being permanently lost to the enemy. And Jesus is praying the same thing for each of us: “He is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them” (Hebrews 7:25, see also Romans 8:34).

Another encouraging Scripture comes from Micah 7:8: “Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.” It’s not “if I fall,” but “when I fall.” There’s little doubt that I will fall again, and again, and again… But by faith I will get back up and keep moving forward.

One of my favorite Scriptures is Psalm 37:23-24: “The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when He delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.” I can just see the Father holding tightly to the toddler’s hand as she stumbles along the way.

Our enemy would have us believe that every fall is terminal and we are unredeemable. The discouragement and doubt that set in only trip us up even more. We need frequent reminders that God’s love is stronger than any sin, and He has made provision for every one of our failures through Jesus’ death on the cross. We also need to remember that although perfection is a worthy goal, only Jesus attained that goal while on earth. No matter how far we progress in this life, we’ll still be far from perfect.

I keep going back to a statement made by Brennan Manning on multiple occasions, “God expects more failure of me than I expect of myself.” We seem to think that one day soon we’ll get it all together and won’t succumb to temptation anymore. But God, in His infinite knowledge, already knows how weak we are and how many times we’ll fail to obey. The Apostle John sent out this reminder: “I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for His name’s sake” (1 John 2:12). Other translations say “your sins have been forgiven.” The act of forgiveness has been completed, nothing more is required. Therefore we are free to get back up and try again.

With all that in mind, here’s my loose paraphrase of Micah 7:8:

“When I fall, I will get back up. I won’t believe the enemy’s lies that I am hopeless and helpless. I will accept God’s forgiveness and by faith I will get up and move on.”

Image © Dawn Rutan. All rights reserved.