While my last post dealt mainly with our calling (vocation),
I realize the question “Why am I here?” can have many other nuances as well.
The variation I’ve been wrestling with lately is “Why has God allowed this
particular set of circumstances in my life?” I picked up When God Weeps: Why Our Sufferings Matter to the Almighty, by Joni
Eareckson Tada & Steven Estes, from the church library. Although I haven’t
finished reading it yet, the authors appear to do a good job of addressing both
the theological and personal challenges that suffering presents. Here is the
starting point:
“First, despite
Christ’s compassionate death for our sins, God’s plan—not plan B or C or D, but
his plan—calls for all Christians to suffer, sometimes intensely…
“Second, God’s plan is specific…
He’s not our planet’s absent landlord. Rather, he screens the trials that come
to each of us—allowing only those that accomplish his good plan, because he
takes no joy in human agony… But in God’s wisdom and love, every trial in a
Christian’s life is ordained from eternity past, custom-made for that
believer’s eternal good, even when it doesn’t seem like it.
“Third, the core of his plan is to
rescue us from our sin. Our pain, poverty, and broken hearts are not his
ultimate focus. He cares about them, but they are merely symptoms of the real
problem…
“Last, every sorrow we taste will
one day prove to be the best possible thing that could have happened. We will
thank God endlessly in heaven for the trials he sent us here.” (72-74 large
print edition)
But it doesn’t end with academic answers. “The problem of
suffering is not about something, but
Someone… [P]eople are like hurting children looking up into the faces of their
parents, crying and asking, ‘Daddy, why?’ Those children don’t want
explanations, answers, or ‘reasons why’; they want their daddy to pick them up,
pat them on the backs, and reassure them that everything is going to be okay”
(196). Yes, it’s important that God is in control, that He’s working all things
for His ultimate plan for my good and His glory, and that one day all suffering
will be ended. But that doesn’t always give me motivation to keep enduring and
hoping that life will get easier.
A couple phrases from the hymn “Day by Day” have come to
mind several times in recent weeks: “He whose heart is kind beyond all measure
gives unto each day what He deems best… Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble
meeting, E’er to take, as from a Father’s hand…” I hear the Father whispering
“Do you trust Me?”
Somehow the Apostle Paul managed to keep a correct
perspective while enduring suffering—it was always for the benefit of others: to
build others up- Romans 15:1-7; to comfort others- 2 Corinthians 1:3-11; to
exhort faithfulness- 2 Corinthians 6:1-10; to witness to faith- 2 Thessalonians
1:4; to bring other to Christ- 2 Timothy 2:8-13; to be an example- 2 Timothy
3:10-17; and particularly Philippians 1:21-26:
“For to me to live is Christ, and
to die is gain… My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far
better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and
continue with you all, for your progress
and joy in the faith…” (ESV emphasis added).
Just looking at all that Paul endured as listed in 2
Corinthians 11:24-28, it’s amazing that he didn’t give up—lashed, beaten,
stoned, shipwrecked, etc. That’s not the kind of job description I’d be looking
for! (I guess he never got bored.) And yet he could still say, “More than that,
we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and
endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not
put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through
the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5).
In the midst of all that happened to him, Paul trusted God’s
hand at work. I don’t suppose the fifth lashing hurt any less than the first
four, but it was bearable because of the example that was set by Christ and the
example it would provide for those who followed. As Joni told her friend, “You
may think it’s far better to depart and be with Christ, but as long as you
remain in the body, your family and friends have something to learn. Something
of eternal importance” (149).
I can’t neglect the fact that suffering is also a means of
purifying us. Hebrews 12:1-10 says that we endure God’s discipline “that we may
share His holiness.” And Peter wrote, “Since therefore Christ suffered in the
flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered
in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the
flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God” (1 Peter 4:1-2).
Suffering can drive us to bitterness or it can drive us to
God. It can make us turn inward or it can turn our focus to the suffering of
others. It can make us yearn for worldly relief or it can make us long for our
eternal home. It can make us hard-hearted or soft-hearted.
So why am I here? In the words of Andrew Murray:
“First, He brought me
here, it is by His will I am in this strait place: in that fact I will rest.
Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace to behave as His child.
Then, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
Last, in His good time He can bring me out again—how and when He knows.
Let me say I am here,
(1) By God’s appointment,
(2) In His keeping,
(3) Under His training,
(4) For His time.”
Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace to behave as His child.
Then, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
Last, in His good time He can bring me out again—how and when He knows.
Let me say I am here,
(1) By God’s appointment,
(2) In His keeping,
(3) Under His training,
(4) For His time.”
“Now may our Lord
Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal
comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in
every good work and word” (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17).
