Last Sunday the sermon at my church was on Acts 8:26-40 and the conversion of the Ethiopian eunuch. In our discussion afterward, Isaiah 56:4-5 was brought up:
“For thus says the Lord: ‘To the eunuchs who keep My Sabbaths, who choose the things that please Me and hold fast My covenant, I will give in My house and within My walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.”
In the Old Testament, the first command given to mankind was “Be fruitful and multiply,” which established the need and purpose for marriage. But as the passage from Isaiah illustrates, that is not the end goal. As John Piper notes in his sermon on that Scripture,
“The family of God grows not by propagation… but by regeneration through faith in Christ… Marriage is temporary and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church... Faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life.”
In Matthew 19 when Jesus taught against divorce, His disciples said, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus’ response may have surprised them:
“There are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs [metaphorically] for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it” (v. 12).
Jesus didn’t tell them divorce is no big deal, but He also didn’t say that marriage is the ideal for His followers. He, and the Apostle Paul after Him, affirmed the value of singleness and wholehearted devotion to following Christ (see 1 Cor. 7). The church has often elevated marriage in ways that the New Testament never did. Teens may receive a lot of teaching about sex and relationships, but little about living faithfully as a single adult. Church programs are often geared toward married couples and young families, and singles are viewed merely as free labor. And we often forget that half of those who are married will eventually be widows or widowers. In many of the churches that do have some kind of singles ministry, it is little more than a Christianized dating service.
Singles face challenges that those who are married and/or have children may not have. (I’m not saying that married folks never have these issues.) We may have more discretionary time, or we may have to work more hours to pay the mortgage since we only have one salary instead of the two salaries that many married couples have. We may have difficulties in finding and affording home repair services. If we get sick, it’s up to us to figure out how to get medical care and meals. Many of us deal with loneliness since we have no one to talk to after work and on weekends, and we usually can’t invite ourselves over for dinner to a household that has kids and multiple schedules to juggle. And for those singles who long for marriage and family, every holiday is a reminder of what they don’t have.
Jesus stated, “In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage” (Matt. 22:30). Marriage will come to an end, and yet many Christians live as though their marriage is the ultimate and eternal purpose of life. The only marriage that will endure is that of Christ and the Church. Shouldn’t we all be more intentional in pursuing eternal relationships with all those in the Body of Christ? Although the church is intended to function as the family of God, in practice it often falls short of the ideal.
I read an article, from a source I normally trust, that was bemoaning the statistical decline and delay of marriage in younger generations. But as with many such articles, the realities that not everyone will marry and that marriage is not eternal were seemingly afterthoughts that were relegated to the closing paragraphs. It’s not that marriage has no value, but that we need to hold it in proper perspective relative to the singular priority of faithfully following Christ in whatever circumstances we find ourselves.
“Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for My sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life” (Mark 10:29-30).
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Recommended reading: 7 Myths About Singleness, by Sam Allberry.
© 2023 Dawn Rutan. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture are ESV and all images copyright free from pixabay.com. The opinions stated do not necessarily reflect the views of my church or employer.
