I’m posting the following as sort of a Public Service
Announcement. I’ve always heard about the “stigma” of mental illness, but until
recently I was only aware of it in a vague sense, as in feeling like I don’t
quite fit in culture’s standards for happiness. For a long time I didn’t really
talk about depression, not necessarily because of some perceived stigma, but
because I didn’t think it was anybody’s business. Now I figure that I may at
least be able to use my experience to help others understand and cope with
their own or a loved one’s illness.
My perception changed a bit recently when someone made a
comment about not wanting to add to my depression by adding to my stress. Thinking
about it later, I realized that depression is not well understood if people
believe that it is always reactionary. This particular website provides a quick
summary of the many types of depression, and reactive depression is only one of
them: http://www.promises.com/articles/depression-articles/depression-is-not-a-sign-of-weakness/
Speaking for myself, most of my episodes of severe
depression have been unrelated to life circumstances. I’ve had times of major
depression when all outward circumstances have been favorable. The most
frustrating part of this illness is its unpredictability. If I knew what caused
it, I could do something to try to fix it. But when there is no known cause,
all I can do is wait it out and continue to pursue all the medical
recommendations like staying on medication, eating right, exercising, getting
sunlight, and spending time with close friends. The episode may pass in days or
may linger for months, and there’s not much I can do about it. In my
experience, the stigma is not so much an active aversion to people with mental
illness (although I’m sure that does happen in some cases), but a lack of
understanding and an uncertainty of how to interact or to help.
As the title of the
above article states, “Depression is not a sign of weakness.” Googling that
phrase will bring up an abundance of articles refuting that myth. A common
phrase that comes up is “Depression is not a sign of weakness, it means you
have been trying to be strong for far too long.” I’d have to say that I agree
with that in general. From a biological perspective, enduring high levels of
stress in childhood can condition the body to handle a lot of stress, but not
in the ways it should, resulting in a chemically induced depression. And
relationally, that same childhood stress can teach young people to rely solely
on themselves and to distrust others, which can also contribute to later
depression.
Among those I know who struggle with depression, I see
people who are strong, independent, capable, and high achievers in whatever
they pursue. So it bothers me to hear depression correlated with weakness and
used as a basis for judging a person’s ability to handle stress. While that may
be true in some cases and situations, it is by no means universal to those who
suffer from depression.
My suggestion for interacting with friends or loved ones
with a history of depression is pretty simple—don’t assume anything. When in
doubt ask questions, but realize that we may not always be able to answer those
questions.
- Is there something specific bothering you? –I don’t think so.
- Is there anything I can do to help? –Not that I know of.
- Can I pray for/with you? –Absolutely!
I would also suggest that even if there is an element of
reactive depression, it’s better to know something is coming than to be
surprised with bad news. Like a parent whose child has a major illness, it’s
best to know the probabilities and prognosis from the beginning so you can
better prepare for the road ahead—mentally, emotionally, physically, and
spiritually. We all need time to process difficult news and figure out how to
cope with the next steps.
Recently I’ve seen a couple comments on Facebook that
“there’s nothing that can disturb you unless you let it” and “you choose your
mood.” While it’s true that you can choose to a degree how you are going to
respond to something, clinical depression creates a mood that is often
unrelated to your choices. To bring it all back to Scripture, the faith of the
believer can remain strong despite outward circumstances or inward feelings.
Psalm 112:5-8 says:
“For the righteous will never be
moved; he will be remembered forever. He is not afraid of bad news; his heart
is firm, trusting in the Lord. His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.”
David and Elijah in particular are seen as suffering from
some depression or sadness, yet they are also known as men of faith. So many of
the Psalms are a mixture of sorrow and faith. Those aren’t mutually exclusive.
However, it’s good to be reminded of the promises of Scripture at any time, and
that should be our default source of encouragement regardless of whatever
issues we may be facing in life. God’s love and faithfulness never change.
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Check out this post as well: http://dulinsgrovechurch.org/thebody/2014/08/14/encouragement-for-the-depressed/
